r/NonPoliticalTwitter • • 11h ago

Other Great idea for a new book.

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12.5k Upvotes

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812

u/Spirited_Ad_2697 11h ago

Bro you were nearly there just instead of putting paper towels on it just put it in a pan and fry it my guy

338

u/butholesurgeon 10h ago

But then you have to like

Wash a pan

205

u/monkeybuttsauce 10h ago

Easier than washing a paper towel

1

u/I_Makes_tuff 6h ago

Just throw them in the laundry. You can find the paper towels in the lint trap when you're done.

1

u/Mertoot 5h ago

Just put it in the laundry machine along with the rest of your clothes!

19

u/kigurumibiblestudies 9h ago

Drop soap and water on it just after you take out the fish and let it sit while you dine. The issue with grease is letting it dry and stick to the pan

That's normal pans of course, I don't know about cast iron

25

u/ottersintuxedos 10h ago

You can just oven them wrap em in tinfoil, literally the nicest and easiest option of all listed

6

u/Versipilies 8h ago

Personally, a crimped parchment paper pouch is my preference

5

u/mrandr01d 8h ago

That's my mo. Parchment paper on a baking sheet. Perfect every time.

4

u/deathfire123 8h ago

I like to do it in my industrial-sized microwave though. It just cooks it better. I think the brand is called Oven. Must be French or something.

4

u/PistachiNO 9h ago

But then you have to wash the tin foil and that stuff is so tricky to clean

7

u/SconiGrower 10h ago

But then if you're going with the tinfoil method, why not just use the dishwasher method?

3

u/mikecandih 9h ago

Where are you getting your tin foil nowadays

7

u/Kevadu 9h ago

I just use a piece of my hat

1

u/TheWorldofScience 10h ago

Put a toaster oven in your garage for this and baking potatoes if you don’t want to use your oven and heat up your kitchen in summer.

6

u/OkProfessor6810 10h ago

If you have a properly seasoned cast iron pan, cleaning is the work of 2 minutes. I'd rather take that minimal time than deal with microwaved fish smell and fishy paper towels. That's a trip to the dumpster. More work than washing the pan for me.

2

u/Yontevnknow 10h ago

na, just use that paper towel to wipe it out next time.

1

u/Spirited_Ad_2697 10h ago

Oh the horror

1

u/Mikeologyy 7h ago

Wrap in foil, deposit in oven, take out salmon, delete foil

1

u/mikerockitjones 7h ago

Must avoid washing the pan!

0

u/JMEEKER86 9h ago

Easier to wash a pan than a microwave. That godawful fish smell is staying in that microwave and making everything else stink until you scrub it. Unless you're a fan of fish popcorn, of course.

82

u/Garlan_Tyrell 11h ago

Yeah, c’mon Steve.

Even just using an air fryer, my guy. Get a paper/silicone insert and it’s basically as easy clean up as microwave but with far better texture.

2

u/TheKinkslayer 4h ago

He was using a trivection oven. Overcooking his fish with 3 kinds of heat.

44

u/scrapheaper_ 10h ago

Salmon is totally legit to steam or poach. As long as it's seasoned and you don't overcook it it'll be great

22

u/Darthplagueis13 10h ago edited 10h ago

I mean you can, but that wastes the skin. Crispy salmon skin is one of the great pleasures of the world, and if you're steaming or poaching, the skin just gets soggy.

24

u/sulwen314 10h ago

I know other people like it, but I really hate salmon skin, even when it's crispy. Straight into the trash for me no matter how it was cooked.

5

u/Yontevnknow 10h ago

im about to try it next time, but afraid im falling for some elaborate prank

6

u/skyshroud6 8h ago

Crispy skin's good but you have to just like, let it sit. The fish will stick but just don't touch it otherwise the skin will rip. It'll release itself from the pan once it's ready to flip. You basically cook the fish 80% of the way skin side down, then the last 20% flesh side down.

1

u/Yontevnknow 8h ago

yea, that's more or less how I do it, but in reverse so i get a good flat even sear on the non skin side. I just always removed the skin, sometimes partway through once it doesnt rip, sometimes dont bother until im done.

1

u/deathfire123 8h ago

Try it skin side down next time and report back! I used to be a skin hater too until I started cooking salmon skin-side down.

0

u/dedokta 7h ago

Oh my god! The skin is literally the best part and you've been throwing it away?

1

u/NathanSMB 9h ago

It might not be to your taste but a lot of people like it.

Here's a simple video showing how it's done: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Av8HvjpniXk

1

u/ExternalPanda 6h ago

It's not only tasty as fuck, it's also important for your omega3maxxxing so you don't become dementiapilled when you get old

2

u/erossthescienceboss 9h ago

if you have a dog, this is how you make them love you

1

u/rtxa 4h ago

you say that like they don't love anyone who feeds them unconditionally

4

u/613codyrex 10h ago

It’s its skin on, that’s true it would be sorta a waste to poach or steam it.

But it could be a skinless fillet so it’s valid. I still personally prefer it pan seared regardless of skin but to each their own at the end of the day.

6

u/anuncommontruth 10h ago

Agree, but this is an amazing way to cook shitty frozen salmon, or a real quick way to cook salmon for a salmon salad.

Make it this way and mash it with s9me mayo, lemon juice, garlic, dill, salt and pepper, load it up on a croissant and top with everything bagel seasoning. You got yourself a killer lunch in under 5 minutes.

3

u/8696David 9h ago

Hot take: poached salmon skin is exactly as delicious

1

u/Choyo 7h ago

That's weird. I'm the first person to like eating the most uncommon animal bits, but regarding fishes - aside sole - I wouldn't eat any fish's skin.

2

u/8696David 7h ago

I mean, salmon skin is so popular that it’s sold by itself, fried, as a snack in bags in many countries including the US. I could walk 500 feet from where I’m sitting right now and pick up a bag. You don’t have to like it but calling it “weird” is… kind of just wrong 

2

u/Choyo 6h ago

I meant : "that's weird to me", no offense intended. We eat frog legs and butterized snails, some other mammals just feast on worms and stuff ... in the grand order of things nothing is really weird in the food chain.

Point is, it never crossed my mind it could be good and the idea of other people liking it specifically is just so novel to me. I have to check that out.

2

u/8696David 6h ago

I just like keeping it on the fish when I cook it, however I cook it (usually indirect heat on the grill). It’s uniquely good among fish skin. 

1

u/Choyo 6h ago

It's just that I'm so used to my fish not being perfectly descaled, so I would need to address that first. Thanks for raising my awareness on the topic.

23

u/TheBaalzak 10h ago

Yep, put it in a pan and put that pan right into the microwave.

4

u/capthazelwoodsflask 8h ago

You're giving away the secrets that Michelin star chefs don't want the public to know

1

u/KimberStormer 5h ago

Never buy it!!

11

u/EuenovAyabayya 10h ago

Wondering how parchment would do? Also much depends on what he's considering a "paper towel," they're not all created equal.

11

u/dumbass_sempervirens 10h ago

I'm guessing the guy cranking out bestselling novels for like 4 decades buys the nice paper towels.

5

u/EuenovAyabayya 10h ago

Yeah, but are those optimal for this application, or would a less-nice texture work better?

3

u/dumbass_sempervirens 10h ago

I don't know. Zero experience in the realm of microwaving salmon.

2

u/EuenovAyabayya 9h ago

This seems wise.

1

u/WulfTheSaxon 9h ago

There are two very different “nice” paper towels, though: Bounty and similar quilted ones and Viva nonwoven cloth.

2

u/dumbass_sempervirens 8h ago

Look, my new job just has me up from Great Value to Bounty.

And honestly, I still buy the cheap ones half the time.

I travel a lot for work so I don't cook or use paper towels more than 4 times a month.

2

u/RandomUsername78421 7h ago

King seems like a Brawny guy. But he probably has it in his head that the Brawny lumberjack is a serial killer.

4

u/bajesus 7h ago

It is actually an awesome way to cook fish. Alton Brown did a full episode on it back in the day. Essentially you are making a steam dome and since microwaves primarily work by heating the water in food it is a super quick and consistent method to get steam.

On a related note, it also works great for king crab legs. But for that recipe you wrap the crab legs in wet paper towels then wrap that in plastic wrap.

2

u/RandomUsername78421 7h ago

I can see it working just fine, I just am kind of repulsed by the idea of putting fish in a microwave because of the smell.

2

u/bajesus 7h ago

As long as you don't overcook it there really isn't much smell when cooking fresh fish this way. The reason fish in a microwave has a bad reputation is because of people reheating fish (which is overcooking and drying it out). Doing that is what causes the smell.

3

u/WulfTheSaxon 9h ago

I’ve done parchment microwave tilapia, it was great.

6

u/Inferno_Zyrack 10h ago

Listen maybe you don’t have another 600 stories and novels to write before you die but he does.

6

u/INTERSTELLAR_MUFFIN 10h ago

Instead of paper towel put that stuff in aluminum paper, close it hermetically, 30m in oven at 140c and boom you got yourself a steamed salmon bai

6

u/TheFrenchSavage 10h ago

Instead of anything, slice it and eat it raw with soy sauce.
Boom, delicious sashimi.

7

u/INTERSTELLAR_MUFFIN 9h ago

I wouldn't do that with supermarket salmon, i'd ceviche it at least to make myself feel better. But yeah sashimi is the bomb.

I also love a good hollandaise sauce with fish and rice. Not healthy but its the number one fish sauce for me as a french guy

3

u/TheFrenchSavage 9h ago

I wouldn't do that with supermarket salmon

I do, and honestly, no problem so far. I make sure it was frozen beforehand (says on the label not to freeze it).

Hollandaise is nice, quite easy to do, but takes a bit more time and creates a few dishes. I don't have that kind of energy on the workweek sadly.
But 100% a very nice fish sauce.

1

u/kitsunewarlock 6h ago

At that point I'll buy the thin sliced smoked salmon from the deli.

5

u/Runesen 9h ago

But in that time I could have made 10 microwave salmons, you are wasting time here

14

u/ToastSpangler 11h ago

Just buy raw salmon, soy sauce, wasabi, and you haven't even the need to cook it at all

9

u/TwinStickDad 10h ago

Sushi grade raw salmon. Not just any raw salmon

5

u/s00pafly 10h ago

There is no sushi grade, just make sure it was frozen

1

u/skyshroud6 8h ago

You're both half right. It specifically needs to be flash frozen, which isn't really a thing that can be done at home.

2

u/s00pafly 8h ago

It doesn't need to be flash frozen. It just needs to be cold enough for long enough. Flash freezing is desirable as it leads to minimal loss of quality.

3

u/erossthescienceboss 9h ago

Unless you live near a fishery, any salmon you buy will be sushi-grade.

Like, I literally buy it off the dock and 4/5 of the boats flash freeze it at sea. The only time the salmon I get isn’t sushi grade is when it’s caught by my neighbor.

3

u/skyshroud6 8h ago

Sushi grade means it was flash frozen to kill parasites.

All fish have parasites, even farm raised. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you've been eating live worms.

2

u/erossthescienceboss 8h ago

Yes? Thats what I said.

All commercial salmon is sushi grade, because all commercial salmon is flash-frozen. You will never find non-flash-frozen salmon at a grocery store.

I think you’re replying to the wrong person because I never said anything about farmed fish (and in a different comment said it has parasites.)

9

u/kaizencraft 10h ago

You got worms in you, son.

5

u/peon2 10h ago edited 10h ago

Depends on the salmon but you are correct. That's why the Japanese never used to use salmon for sushi until some Norwegian bloke brought over Norwegian salmon. The stuff they got out of the Pacific near Japan was full of parasites, the Norwegian salmon wasn't.

Farm raised Atlantic salmon is probably fine to buy raw and eat at home. Wild caught sockeye? Not a good idea as the grocery store stuff that they are selling as filets most likely wasn't flash frozen to be made for sushi.

4

u/erossthescienceboss 9h ago

The issue isn’t that Norwegian salmon is parasite-free. Farmed salmon can pick up parasites too.

It’s that Norwegians introduced flash freezing.

Now, all commercially bought and sold salmon is flash frozen at sea (AKA sushi grade.) No matter where it’s from.

I live in the biggest salmon fishing port outside of Alaska. All of the boats selling to commercial enterprises flash freeze, the only ones that don’t are selling locally.

6

u/Illustrious_Yam9237 10h ago

Commercially caught wild sockeye is extremely likely to have been flash frozen on the boat.

1

u/skyshroud6 8h ago

Farm raised still has parasites. Basically all fish have parasites in them. That's why flash frozen "sushi grade" is a thing. It kills the parasites without having to cook the flesh.

2

u/par_rot_master 10h ago

Bro buys slop quality and thinks everyone else does too.

3

u/ZaraReid228 9h ago

Salmon like 100$ a kg here, I am NOT microwaving it

4

u/the_io 10h ago

Or just grill for five minutes either side and drain the oil & juices onto whatever side you're having.

1

u/TheRenamon 10h ago

I like to do cast iron in the oven, nice lazy meal

1

u/LockHimUpForever 9h ago

Salmon cooks super fast. Minus the time it takes to warm up the pan, I can cook it in 3minutes. Just a nice sear with lemon and salt in tin foil or right on the pan for a faster cook.

1

u/ShaqSenju 5h ago

I was thinking aluminum foil to help crisp the skin

1

u/0rinx 5h ago

can also use parchment paper and put in the oven.

1

u/emoutikon 1h ago

Wrap it in tinfoil

1

u/enginerd12 10h ago

Wrong! Smoke that shit. I won't have it any other way for a while until I get sick of it.

5

u/StrawberryTerry 10h ago edited 10h ago

Do you use a pipe or a bong to smoke it?

-1

u/enginerd12 10h ago

Wait. What are we talking about?

1

u/Robey-Wan_Kenobi 7h ago

He didn't want a fried fish. That's like telling someone to fry an egg when they want a harboiled one.