r/NewParents • u/Legitimate_Fig1730 • 2h ago
Childcare Baby started daycare. I get like 4 hours with her at night. How do I cope🥲
I’m a first time single mom, so I have to work full time. I definitely couldn’t be a stay at home mom even if I had the opportunity to be. I’d love to be able to just work part time, but even without the daycare expense, it’s not feasible.
My baby has done WONDERFUL since starting daycare and she goes to a great one. I get updates on every feed, diaper, if she gets moved to a new room, and photos throughout the day. Since I was on maternity leave and home alone most of the day, she got very attached to me. She’s also young so of course she will prefer mom but once she became more alert she would not tolerate being held or even looked at by my family, which got really hard for me as a single parent.
But I work 7-3, and after work I go to the gym (they are in the same strip so no drive time. I don’t stay long, 45 minutes max. And the daycare is less than 5 minutes from there. I get to her around 4, but she goes to bed at 8. If I skipped the gym, I’d get only an extra hour with her, but I need to exercise since I am a competitive athlete. Most workouts I can do at home, but I need the weights and some machines at the gym.
I’m off work Tuesdays and Saturdays, but I still take her for about a half day on Tuesday so that way I can get things done around the house without worrying about it and get some time to doomscroll. Plus I want to keep her on a routine.
I play with her at night, but most of the time is spent with her last 2 feeds of the day, giving her a bath, and she takes a nap. She gets roughly 8-9 hours at night, but doesn’t sleep much at daycare at all, sometimes only an hour. (Not their fault, other crying babies in the room, etc). So she takes a pretty long nap in the evening as well.
I just miss her and most Saturdays there is always something to do. Some get together or something and I love spending time with my family and I love them being able to play with her now but I just want to have more time with her.
TL;DR. My baby started daycare and has been thriving but I have to work full time and I miss her and evening time is spent with feeds, bath, and nap basically