TL;DR. My bf and I are on a break. One of the issues is that he thinks he might not be actually male. I am afraid that he might transition and feel horrible about the way I feel

Hey there,

So my bf said on Sunday that he needed a break from our relationship (we’re both in our early 20 if that’s relevant) And Not because he isn’t happy with me, but because there are some things that he has to figure out, but stops himself while in the relationship with me. One of the reasons being that he is unsure if he is male.

We were/ are(?) together for almost 2 years, and around 8 months ago he tried out going out as a femboy. Meaning wearing a skirt, a pink sweater etc. after that he continued to dress in that way more often and also bought himself more skirts, also a dress now. Usually it was like 1-2 a week. I really never minded it at all, ofc it was unusual but I didn’t love him less. I have do admit that his „male style“ is more attractive/ appealing to me, but like I said I still love him the same as a femboy.

He did sometimes mention that he isn’t sure of his gender identity, if he is male, female, gender-fluid or sth in between. But now he started the break.

The problem is also that he has Bordeline, he doesn’t know if he hates himself/ his body because of the BPD or because he doesn’t like to be a male.
For me it almost seems as if his borderline is just looking for a way out of this self hatred. But of course I know it’s not for me to decide.

And now to my problem, i don’t know if i am going to love him fully if he decides to do HRT and transition and tbh it feels gut wrenching me. I am straight and i don’t know if i am going to be able to love a woman. I am quite sure that if he comes out to me as gender fluid, non binary that I’ll be able to completely accept that. But I don’t think I can do that if he’ll be a women, and I feel so terrible about that.

He told me that I also should think about that and that when we decide to start seeing each other again, that we’ll need time to date and get to know each other again and that maybe this time he’ll be a women.

I am afraid of that and that makes me feel so horrible. Although we are still texting because we are still talking about our rules in that break, I can’t tell him that, because that might slow him down and not actually doing what he thinks is right.
But I also have the feeling that this doubt of his gender identity is still to „fresh“ to actually decide and I don’t want him to rush anything.

This break was for him also necessary primarily to sort out some of his borderline issues, but having doubts about his gender and being trapped in his male role while in a relationship with me is also one of them.

I feel sacred, hurt and just horrible bc of my thoughts

My partner and I (both 25) met 4 years ago and when we met we were both gay guys. We were both vers and had similar libidos. Our dynamic was the best I ever had. I finally found someone who wasn't hung up on gender roles, positions, dom-sub, etc.

A little over a year ago she came out and started transitioning and her libido died within a month. Soon after she stopped topping. She says topping invalidates her. She can't stay hard anymore, but says even if she could she doesn't want to top anymore.

I resent her big time because, and this isn't her fault, throughout my teens until I was 22 I had pretty severe agoraphobia. I never got to experiment or go on a bunch of dates or anything like she did. From 16 until she met me was her "hoe phase" and now that she's with me, the person she loves and wants a future with, she's accepted that she's been a woman all along and flips our dynamic on its head.

I don't want the crazy partying or anonymous hookups all the time because I'm still pretty introverted, and the idea of casual sex rarely appeals to me, but I hate that I have to give up bottoming and being submissive. I liked that we would flip roles in the bedroom. I like that I could be myself with her before she transitioned. Now I have to be the dom top 24/7 otherwise she's invalidated and gets dysphoria.

FML.

Throwaway account, for obvious reasons.

My GF (trans mtf, 18) and I (cis f, 17) have been in a relationship for over half a year now and we’re both incredibly happy with each other. It’s a really healthy and happy relationship, but recently I’ve noticed something and I need some advice.

I follow my GF on Twitter and she often talks to her mutual friends (majority trans women) on it. One of those friends posted saying “cis chasers hmu” and my GF responded “they tend to be unaware of the fact they are in fact they are chasers, but they are amazing wives” then tagged me.

We’ve spoken about it before and she definitely seems to think of it as a positive thing? Although, I know the term is usually in referral to someone who objectifies trans women and is basically fetishing them.

I’m a lesbian, and I honestly don’t care about AGAB at all, both trans and cis women are equally attractive to me. Although, all my previous partners are also trans women. I’ve had crushes on cis women, but never really ended up in relationships with them.

The term chaser was also used by a toxic ex after a messy breakup along with other things in an attempt to isolate me, which further complicates things a bit.

I don’t really know what to do, because from what I know about the term, I don’t think it applies to me at all, but at the same time my GF doesn’t seem to believe it’s bad? She seems to refer to me as a chaser in an almost endearing way and I don’t really know how to feel about it.

I want to learn more about the term, who it applies to, etc. I also want to know if there’s anyone behavior-wise I need to change.

I really hope none of this offensive or anything, and I’m so sorry if it is. Please educate me on anything I’ve gotten wrong. Thank you for any help x

I've (cisM) been dating my MTF partner for awhile now and have had some things on my mind that I'm not sure if I should bring up to her out of fear of making her feel bad. For context, she is unable to be out socially/begin any parts of a medical transition for several years due to living in an environment where it wouldn't be safe, so its essentially a waiting game to be able to move and start both of these. She didn't come out to me right when we started dating, so I guess I was initially attracted to her presenting as a cis male (though this isn't a huge problem for me since I'm bi). But this makes me feel guilty because she still outwardly presents as male, and I really can't refer to her as a girl to anyone besides myself (in my thoughts and in writing, like here), so it hurts me to feel attracted to her in her current state. I highly doubt I should bring this up to her since it feels like that would hurt her feelings, but I am honestly just struggling to see her as a woman right now since she can't do anything, and it sort of stresses me out knowing that this would continue for years. I'm not sure how else we would have gotten around this though since she was on a dating app with her profile set as a man.

I am also scared of losing physical attraction towards her once she does start medically transitioning - as I said I am bi, but am generally more attracted to masculinity/I haven't had too many crushes on girls and have never actually dated one - but it feels stupid even thinking about this since there's always a possibility we break up before then for unrelated reasons. She has known she's trans for a decent amount of time and wants to get on hormones and have bottom surgery, facial reconstruction, but the last 2 would be even further down the line with costs, logistics and everything.

I guess I just feel very lost and dont know what to do with this. I can't talk about this and out her to any of my friends/family. I'm not sure which aspects of these thoughts, if any, I should talk to her about, and I am in the process of finding a therapist so I have at least one person to go to. It feels bad essentially living with her acting as my "boyfriend" to everyone else in my life and having to keep in the back of my mind that that's not what she is. I somewhat feel like there's no real use in pondering over all of this since everything would be so far in the future but I do have a bad tendency to ruminate on things/try to find a resolution ASAP when in this circumstance, I genuinely cannot. If this was a much shorter timeframe, ie a number of months, I do not think I would be feeling this way. Any advice or similar experiences would be really appreciated, as well as possible approaches to conversations with her about this. I've never felt like I clicked with someone else so much and I am scared of losing that.

(Im cis hes trans we are gay imortant for context prolly)

So let me start this by saying our relationship is amazing we communicate we play the same sports, it's both of our first relationship and its filled with love.

However I feel like im bored i don't know any other way to describe it, I've known he is trans for about 3 years. (been with him since August last yr)

I feel like i don't enjoy our intimacy anymore all we do is makout and kiss n stuff. We have dynamics in the bedroom I genuinely like.

However I feel i want more he's never touched my dih and we have never done anything past kissing.

OBVIOUSLY I'd never force him or make him feel bad for it because it's all derived in his body dismophia and thats ok, his solution is top surgery but thats awhile away for now atleast post university.

My main reason for this is i want to enjoy it again im going to keep trying to look inward at my self to figure out if its me. I have thought about gender, sexuality, internalised homphobia,how my life is going (kind of a stress) but nothing is leaping at me.

This lack of intimacy that I want to experience just makes me feel a tad sad when I think about our relationship; as he is perfectly happy with our levels of intimacy but I'm just empty he smiles while I kiss him but I yearn for more, he doesn't see my sadness either.

(like i do love kissing the bloke but sometimes I dont feel engaged as im thinking about sex or blow jobs stuff like that)

If I'm being completely real I want to get get cracked and top someone

However this relationship is perfect apart from that i feel lost on what to do. Bury my own desires for like 5-6 more years and stay in a healthy relationship, kinda weird leaving him doesn't feel like an option i don't want to hurt my handsome boy.

Has anyone ever delt with wanting more out of their partner and knowing you'll wont get it anytime soon?

Not sure if thats worded well sorry if not!

also I forgot this I have raised wanting more intimacy before but he isnt comfortable touching me in anyway, his body dismorphia particularly his chest means he doesn't want to touch me (his words) I can't say anything bad about his reason it's entirely valid but still like i said earlier its a long way away

I don't even know if anyone has "advice" that isnt going to be leave him but if you do id love to hear it felt good to rant about it though

My boyfriend (33M) and I (32F) have been together for almost three years. About a year ago, he told me that when he was younger he struggled with questions about his gender identity. He never really worked through it; he always pushed it down. He comes from a Catholic family and always dated Catholic women, so he never allowed himself to think about it. About four years ago, he started seeing a therapist. In therapy, these doubts came back, and he says he's not sure whether they're really about his gender or a response to trauma, since his parents are divorced and he's been through a lot in his life. He's still unsure today. He says the doubts come and go. They aren't constant, and when he's with me he doesn't think about any of it and feels comfortable being who he is now. Over this past year I've tried to cope with the situation. Whenever he made small changes to his body, like shaving his legs or his arms, I never said anything to him, but it was really hard for me. This week he did it again, and again I didn't tell him. But on my own, I started questioning how I feel about these changes, and I don't think I'm ready for this. I don't think I'm ready to be in a relationship with a trans person, with a woman, because I identify as straight and I'm attracted to men. I told him that maybe this isn't a journey for me. I said I could be there to support him through the whole process, but that his uncertainty has been affecting me, and being in this place of not knowing hasn't been good for me. So I don't really know what to do. Do you have any advice on how to take care of myself through this, or how I can help him navigate it? I don't know if I should stay in the relationship, since he's unsure whether he's really trans or whether this is a trauma response. I don't want to hold him back, but I also don't want to lose him

I see a lot of posts about trans guys starting to become attracted to men after they begin taking testosterone. I’m a cis girl, and my boyfriend is trans; we’ve been together for several years, though he’s still in the early stages of his transition. I’m really afraid that he might start finding men attractive and that I’ll end up being rejected.

Could other cis girls who are with trans guys please offer some reassurance?

I really need to read some stories that have a happy ending.

I have been waking up normally. Getting ready, going to work doing all the things I need to do. But this morning was the first day I didn’t want to get up. My MtF partner ended our relationship abruptly with no closure six weeks ago. I know they are out dating on the apps, experiencing their full joy, and I am here left alone to hold the shrapnel of a future I had built with us be each other’s sides. I don’t quite know where to put all the grief. Therapist? Seeing them twice a week. Tolan app? Got that. Friends? Have those, too. But my heart aches.

The question I woke up with this morning was this. They wanted to be my protector. And I handed myself to them to be that person for me. But when it came to actually protecting us and the relationship, it feels like I was traded away for experiences they wanted or needed to have. I don’t have a penis. I can’t provide them what they wanted. That is too simplistic, but I couldn’t get them to talk through what the core was. Is it they wanted someone to see them and treat them as a woman and they didn’t want that person to be me? I saw them as a woman and they found that part of me maybe disgusting? They couldn’t allow themselves to move our relationship into a more lesbian dynamic instead of the male/female roles we initially began in? I moved my own gender space into a space where it wasn’t centered on them and their gender so that we could survive the transition, maybe even blossom through to together. But together we are not and I just don’t know what to do with that. No one prepares you for this kind of pain and rejection.

I’m just really sad today. And I miss them. And the beautiful future we had planned.

This weekend, my boyfriend said he likes women’s clothing and being referred to by a she/her pronouns, but that he still identifies as male. The whole situation left me confused, but I did my best to support them because I would never want to hold him back.

Even though I’m bisexual, this felt very strange to me. Seeing him dressed in a feminine way was very different—he had never shown this side of himself throughout our four-year relationship. And I’m afraid of what our relationship will be like now; I’m afraid things will change too much and I won’t be able to maintain a relationship because of it.

I felt so bad when I told him I’d get used to it because the first thing he said to me was, “If this makes you uncomfortable, I’ll stop dressing like this—we’ll pretend it never happened.” But I don’t want that; I want him to be whoever makes him feel whole, whoever makes him happy.

I wonder if the awkwardness is just because it’s still so new, or if it’s a problem rooted deep within me.

  I’ve been with my partner for just over four years and they just recently told me they don’t want to have children due to the fact that they want to transition openly now. (They’re MtF and I am a cis female) they opened up to me about it about two years in but only a few months ago decided they didn’t want kids. I’ve been devastated. They’re sex drive as also greatly diminished.. but I was sucking it up because I love them. Well, last night I ended things with them because they were dead set on not having kids and that is something I just can’t compromise. Today, they spoke to their family and surprisingly the family is being supportive. So NOW they’re rethinking the kid thing.  It’s been such a rollercoaster of emotions. I’m worried if we do have children, will they regret it in the future? And I’m also worried that their sex drive is going to diminish   even further after fully transitioning..  I’m not really sure what the answer is and what is the best choice to make in this situation… last thing we left on a couple of hours ago is that we’re going to try. I’m so scared.. 

Hello hello, I’ve written a couple posts here then deleted them and the whole app for some long months due to my mental health being utter trash. But now I’ve come to ramble to the void as I am utterly heartbroken.

My (cisF) partner (amab nb/?) broke up with me officially last night (we live together). They came out to me as questioning in March of this year and it was a rocky spring and early summer. We both entered individual therapy and couples therapy and things genuinely seemed to be getting better. We were communicating, spending quality time together, and rebuilding from the ground up. During this time They questioned their gender pretty heavily, swinging from wanting to fully binary transition to settling on nb with femme experimentation. For me, the summer was good. We didn’t return to normal because that normal was no longer achievable, but I felt in love and hopeful and excited about our relationship. Though I’ve been struggling with the change (I’ve had to look hard at what I want and my attraction, I felt really positive). I’ve been doing a lot of internal work to break some bad habits and support them as best I can.

Then came September. We’re both grad students, I’m in my final year and conducting my thesis, and we unfortunately fell into some bad habits, our communication tanked and we fell out of sync. During this time, they pulled away, retreating from rooms when I walked in, choosing in all instances to spend time with others over me (behaviors they exhibited prior to all of this when they felt overwhelmed and anxious). Throughout it all, I tried my best to communicate and try to help them, identify if we needed to make changes, etc. but they said we’re okay, just need more emotional intimacy, and that the relationship and I were what they wanted.

We spent a really lovely weekend this past weekend, It was textbook why I fell in love with them. It wasn’t perfect, I left still feeling a little unsure of things still, but I had hope that we were on the right track to rectifying our cycles and that we were both in it.

Well, cut to last night where we had dinner, played a game, after which they acted really odd and finally sat down and said “I think it’s time we break up”. It came as a complete shock. Just that morning they were trying to be intimate. They made plans with me for later this month. A week ago we booked plane tickets for joint holidays with family. They said they love me and don’t want to break up and that this is what they wanted not 3 days ago.

But I’m reeling. I tried asking questions, but they kept saying that they don’t think they can give me what I want, but they never asked me or clarified what I want! I just, I’ve had no input in how any of this has gone (understandably when related to their transition), but now the relationship has ended and I didn’t even know they felt in such dire straights. Apparently they had felt odd since the summer but didn’t tell me. They’ve also been feeling a desire to be more femme which I support fully but have struggled with in the context of the relationship, so I understand the hesitancy to tell me that fully. They wanted me to be more emotionally intimate (and I’ve tried) but apparently they couldn’t reciprocate because I knew none of this. I’ve bent myself backwards trying to make things better and be better and i know relationships end for all sorts of valid reasons, but I just feel completely stripped of respect and dignity. We were together 3 years. We live together. We moved cross country where neither of us know anyone to live together and pursue school. We had plans and planned a future. Neither of us can afford to move out and the lease isn’t up until June and will be cohabitating for the foreseeable future.

I just don’t know how to move forward. My life has completely entered free fall and the person I most want to tell about it and spend time with will continue living with me. I just blindsided and shocked and so so so mad and sad that this is what my life is right now.

I am so lost and I don’t know how to continue on because I have literally no one where I live and I’m in the middle of thesis. I just, don’t know how to become okay again. I don’t know how to live with them without being with them. I don’t know how to stop loving them. I just, I thought this was the person I’d spend the rest of my life with and I thought we were in it together to figure out how to make that happen. And to just be told it’s over without being no more details…..I just feel so stupid and lost.

So my girlfriend is MTF. She's very early into her transition and has to hide herself everywhere besides my house basically. To presence this we are both teens so I live at my parents' house, obvious reasons. So to the problem; my girlfriend struggles to remember to put a shirt on when she's walking around the house. I tell her in teasing way that if shes a girl, she has to put on a shirt. She doesn't ever take it seriously and her not having a shirt on makes my parents very uncomfortable because they have to perceive her as a girl and yk having her boobs out and about is a bit weird yk? I've told her about the problem seriously today and I hope she takes it seriously..

​

Idk how to start this, but I am I think they call cis woman sorry if I got it wrong kind of new to all of this.

I have before only dated women and then I started dating men and now it's the first time dating a Trans man. I must say I have never experience anything like it, it's amazing in so many different levels but I have noticed some hard things that he goes thru and I want to support him but I feel so lost.

When he is on the last week of taking testo he is more irratable and sensitive not in a bad way just that I can see that he is struggling, and sometimes he barks at me (not littraly).. And I try to stay patiant but idk I'd there is anything I can do for him? Maybe you guys have some advice? Just so I can make it easier for him?

And also I have a very high sex drive and usually it's no problem for us sex is amazing and we are exploring some new things at the moment, but then again his sex drive on the last weeks on testo is less, I understand it can be normal and I don't wanna push him but I am also a little scared in those moments that he lost attraction twords me it's not only sex part it's also beeing close.. Idk is that normal?

Also another thing but this is more on me is that normal to loose attraction completely to cis men after? 😅

Sorry if I misspell but English isn't my first language, and I hope I didn't offend anyone I just wanted som guidence I guess. I don't want him to feel alone in it and sens it is my first time beeing with a Trans man it is hard to know what to do so I am asking you kind people ❤️

Thank you for taking time to read ❤️

Hi everyone. I (24F) am really struggling. My wife (30 MtF) and I have been together over 7 years, married for 2. She came out to me 6 months after our wedding. To say that I have felt grief, frustration, and heartbreak is an understatement.

However, I’ve also felt joy, hope, and immense pride seeing how she has grown and become more confident. THIS is who she really is, and it is very clear. She has a very beautiful new sense of self and purpose in life. The fact that I have been able to be on this journey alongside her has been such a privilege.

I do not begrudge her this process. She has every right to be who she wants to be and live the life she wants to live. She is pretty much only out to me. We live with my mom, so she is only “she” when we are in private together. My wife does plan on coming out to everyone eventually and getting top surgery, but that’s a ways down the line.

I feel like we are living a double life and it is absolutely exhausting. I completely respect the pace of my wife’s journey and definitely do not want to rush it, but this process has been almost suffocating for me. There is so much secrecy, even in my own home. I have to constantly pretend that I am in a heteronormative marriage. I’m really not okay and I can’t tell anyone why.

It’s taken me a long time to figure out my feelings. Recently, I was finally able to tell my wife how much I am grieving having a husband. I am grieving the life I thought we would have together. It is becoming very clear to me that I am still attracted to men, and that probably needs to still be part of my life somehow for me to be truly happy. She took it well. I felt so bad telling her, but I also felt like she deserved to know.

I have no idea what is coming next for us. Thankfully we are starting up couple’s counseling again hopefully soon. I love her more than words could ever say. I just don’t know how this is all going to pan out and I am very very scared.

Thank you for reading.

Summary: I'm 21M in a gay T4T relationship with my 20M boyfriend of 1.5 years, and I'm considering breaking up because his insecurity leaves me feeling suffocated and less attracted to him. I feel guilty about leaving because I'm afraid of hurting him, even though staying makes me unhappy.

I'm 21M and my boyfriend is 20M and have been together for about 1.5 years. Lately, I've been seriously questioning whether I want to stay in this relationship.

Since the very beginning, he's frequently asked me if everything is okay between us and whether I'd tell him if something was wrong. I understand that he has insecurities and is afraid of losing me, but after 1.5 years, the constant need for reassurance has become exhausting. I feel guilty if I don't bring up an issue, but when he asks if everything is okay, I also feel like an asshole if I suddenly tell him that something is wrong.

About three months ago, I had a health problem related to my transition (Trans ftm). I needed support, but he became so stressed about the situation that I ended up comforting him instead of him being there for me. Around the same time, I lost my sex drive. He's known that I've struggled with this in previous relationships, but when I told him, he said his worst nightmare would be being in a relationship without sex. That was a breaking point for me because I felt like I couldn't just struggle with my health without also worrying about meeting his needs.

Since then, I've felt increasingly suffocated and have noticed that my attraction to him and my admiration for him have decreased. I feel like I can't fully rely on him emotionally, and I often feel responsible for managing his insecurity. I do care about him, but I don't know if I want to continue the relationship anymore.

When I imagine staying, I feel sadness but also dread and exhaustion. When I imagine being single, I feel relief. However, I'm terrified of breaking up with him because I know how afraid he is of losing me, and I'm scared that his reaction will make me feel so guilty that I'll end up staying even though I don't want to.

Hey everyone so I'd love to hear from people about timings, name change etc. Particularly interested in xp with British gov admin logistics fun.

My idea is to wait until my partner is ready to be out to our close circles, then propose to her and we can tell everyone that we're engaged (yay!).

For info: together 5+ years, gf out to me for a few months, we're still undecided about which last name to use: hers, mine, or a new one.

- about names changes and getting married: she will change her paperwork at some point (first name), so what's the timeline like? Change first name them get married then change last name? Or get married then change last then wait to be allowed by UK gov to change first name?

- we don't have children, how important is it to have the same surname administratively, and how does it compare to the inconvenience of changing it?

- as a trans person in the UK is it better to keep your last name or change both first and last? (admin, legal protection etc)

- isn't it annoying to think about all of this, when I just want is to marry my girlfriend and have our correct info on our wedding certificate and not be bamboozled by the state lol.

Cheers everyone :)

So here’s the post https://www.reddit.com/r/mypartneristrans/s/AlbbPOk9vf

Anyway we were hanging out the other day, I had ask her to check out another post that I had made and get some feedback about it. Turns out she did that and more. She read my post about me presenting fem, my thoughts as a cis male on my being drawn to panties, namely thongs, skirts, and nail polish.

I didn’t panic. We’ve always been open and accepting with each other. We’ve accepted things about each other that the other person was SURE was gonna run the other person off. But I did hold my breath. She was incredibly supportive. She said we can investigate it together, all three things.

Before when I wrote the other post, I was thinking individually not as a couple… I have trauma. Let’s just say I had one healthy relationship in 2001 (we are still besties to this day) and the most recent two relationships have been healthy, current GF included. Everyone between that was crazy abusive. So I have to remind myself that I have a wonderful supportive loving girlfriend who I have in my corner. Anyway, I was thinking facing it alone and it was scary, but facing it with her, it’s not scary. I feel calm. I can imagine what it would feel like to wear a skirt or panties and not freak out about it.

As of right now I still feel Cis Male, and honestly I don’t think that’ll change, just potential change to my wardrobe.

P.S. we’ve also talked about getting my ears pierced once we get the burnable cash, something I’ve always wanted to do. Definitely something dangly. I like dangly.

Anyway. That’s my newest update.

I'm a cis woman who has been in a lightweight relationship with a guy for more than a year. We don't live together and don't plan to, we only occasionally spend time together, basically it's just fun and games. At the same time, we have both been very kind and supportive to each other whenever necessary.

I'm bi and kinky, so when I discovered that my BF was into occasional crossdressing, I was supportive and GGG. Well. It seems like when he felt that support, which he hasn't felt before in his life, the floodgates opened. I was the first to ask if he might be trans, and he said no, he would have loved to be a woman but he is what he is and that won't change. Fast forward a couple of months, he's researching hormones. Still no pronouns change, no new name. Exploring clothes, makeup, hair removal, a bunch of things I actually don't navigate so well myself.

I am still supportive of whatever they decide they are, but I feel like it's killing my desire. Every other conversation is about this topic. It doesn't help that he doesn't have that many friends and even fewer he can talk to about this. It's way more than I signed up for when I got into this relationship. I was myself coming out of a very long and serious previous relationship where I had to lend huge amounts of emotional and organizational support for my ex who suffered from severe depression, so I was overjoyed to be in a not-so-serious one that was meeting my needs for companionship without making huge demands on me. But now I'm like my BF's whole support network. And I feel like I could be one or the other, GF or a supportive friend, but both is too much for me. But I don't know how to discuss this with my BF without breaking their heart.

Sorry about the pronoun mix, the person in question is still referring to themselves as a he, but obviously we wouldn't be where we are if things were so simple.

My boyfriend (19ftM) is pre T and would like to start but in our country the progress to get T prescribed takes 2+ years. He just said he is prograstinating starting the progress and i asked why. He said that its gonna take so long that after starting the best years of his life will be in the past so there is no point. Im sorry but that is the stupidest thing i have heard him say in a while. So at 22 your life is over?

If you have started t at 20 or older, please tell if it made your life better and if it was worth it.

I'm (20 AFAB genderfluid) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (20 MtF) for almost 2 years now. For some context, I call myself a lesbian because I'm purely attracted to non men. Before we started dating, she was still identifying as more masculine/androgynous (not a man though). We had started dating while she still identified this way, and it wasn't until a few months later that she fully came out as a trans woman.

As for previous relationships, I was with someone who very recently came out and was at the start of her transition. The person I was with before that was gender non-conforming for our relationship, but now also identifies as a woman.

Because of this, a lot of people call me a chaser, and it's leaving me worried. I've had many conversations with my current girlfriend and from her perspective, she doesn't see it that way.

The fact I've been with those people aren't connected whatsoever, and it's purely a coincidence that they all happen to identify as transfem now. It's never been about sex or anything like that, these are people I've just happened to connect with deeply. I've been proud of their identities and helped whenever I could.

It's getting frustrating when people say I'm a chaser JUST because I'm in a relationship with a trans woman. I'm starting to worry something might be wrong with me. People also question my sexuality since I've really only been with trans people (trans women are women, I'm a lesbian regardless of whatever TERFS say, blah blah blah).

Any advice or input would be amazing. ( •⁠﹏⁠•⁠)

My (19f) girlfriend (20mtf) is the sweetest person i've ever met. we started dating right before she went on HRT over 2 years ago. She's been transitioning and living as a woman ever since, she's gorgeous and recently she seems to pass pretty well.

she's started to SLOWLY become more comfortable using the women's bathroom at school (we're in college) when there isn't an easy alternative. It has been a huge step for her, considering we don't have gender neutral bathrooms in our dorm building and she obviously doesn't feel comfortable walking into the men's room with D cups boobs...
I even usually walk with her to make sure nobody walks in on her when she has to shower, because she feels extremely vulnerable doing so.

Anyways, today she took a normal piss in the women's room during class, and once she got back to class some girl followed her out of the bathroom, took a picture of her on her phone, and laughed, all in plain sight like she didn't even care.

She's understandably very upset and feels super self conscious now. She has been feeling dysphoric recently and this absolutely won't help. I'm not really sure what to do or say to her to help her feel better. I'm just really angry thinking about how trans women like her are the ones seen as predatory or invasive as if it isn't cis people harassing, following, photographing them...

She's not a threat to women, she's not something to fucking point and laugh at. She's a normal person trying to mind her own business and I'm so angry for her.

Hey all!

My (f19) partner (m19) of two years has come out as trans! They still go by he/they so I will be using them in this post. Anywho, he has been struggling with his identity for some time now and finally has come to the conclusion that he wants to transition which im very supportive of. He also wants to start taking hrt and start dressing more feminine, the usual things.

I love this for him but im having some conflicting thoughts about this whole thing and would really like some advice and encouragement.

The masculine version of himself is all i know and my preference in a partner, whether its male or female, is masculine. So for starters, Im scared I might lose attraction for his physical aspects. I would never having wandering eyes but what if I do at some point? I dont know. We also struggle with intimacy because we have very differing libidos, I have a higher one wheras he has a lower one. I know hrt is going to affect his but its really a mystery of if its going to lower it or highten it. So I’m scared about this as its already kind of a thing were going through rn. I feel anxious making future plans like moving out or potentially vacation plans because I don’t know what our future is going to look like.

I love him dearly and I never want to leave him just because of something so trivial, but the thought of it is killing me. Whenever Im at work and something reminds me of him or us, I just want to cry, and most of the times I do despite being in public lol. I’m going to miss all his masculine features and I dont feel like Im ready to let them go. His physical attributes are what made me attracted in the first place but his personality is what made me stay.Thankfully, Im very fortunate to have a understanding partner who wants me to communicate all my thoughts about his transition so that we can work through it.

I would really like to hear success stories and some advice from you all as my overthinking and inability to accept change is kind of ruining it for both of us. Although, its a little comforting knowing theres a community here that I can talk to about this stuff :>

What do I need to prepare for with her starting estrogen and spironolactone?

Okay, so now I'm navigating co-parenting and existing with my ex-spouse as she starts HRT (MTF). She isn't planning to move out because she isn't financially stable and her family isn't safe (transphobic). I'm upset about our breakup, but I would never purposely put her in a bad position so I'm not kicking her out no matter how upset I am.

For those who didn't see my last post, I am supportive of her transitioning. She dumped me after I expressed upset at her for taking my clothing and the conversation progressively devolving into why our relationship sucked. We have 4 kids. The oldest is extremely disabled. The youngest is 8 months old.

Basically, I just want to know what I need to be prepared for emotionally. She went to the appointment alone and is starting medication tomorrow, so I didn't get much information.

Please be gentle, I am mentally exhausted and I am trying my best.