Asalamu Aleykum, Im 16 ans been on this this im 11, my relationship with Allah is strong (I hope so). I pray all prayers in time, i recite quran, i do hifz, i do dhikr and i leave a portion of my allowance as sadaqah. For the past few months, something shifted in me, I no longer feel guilt and I dont know what to do.

I used to cry after everytime I relapse and i would feel extremely guilty, but now it feels like I dont even fight. Its like ill just relapse and do ghusl right after to pray my prayers on time. Its like i dont even care anymore, i have no idea why i suddenly stopped feeling that guilt that got me back stronger. I just dont fight now, as soon as i get an urge, my mind is out and i just relapse and i dont care cause ill do ghusl, and ive veen relapsing daily for a few months. I need help and i have no idea what to do. JazakumAllah

For context again I’m 39 separated finally after a long battle with my ex. I been going on month long streaks. It has been a ROUGH WEEK without giving tmi. I decided to really stay disciplined and fast today given it’s a Thursday. Not sure why but despite fasting today my mind has been just running away 😭. Crazy I was “ok” yesterday and today fasting my thoughts have been the absolute worst. Please pray for me inshallah 🙏

Day 4 of not watching anything nsfw completed.

It is becoming hard!

it needs 150 characters to be posted so ignore rest thing.

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One of the most interesting things about life is how unpredictable it can be. We make plans, imagine our future, and convince ourselves that we know where we're going, but sometimes a single moment can change everything. Maybe that's what makes life meaningful: the uncertainty, the unexpected connections, and the lessons we learn along the way. We don't always need to understand why things happen immediately. Sometimes, we just need to keep going, stay curious, and let time reveal what we couldn't see before.

As long as my soul is in my body I will keep on fighting

I will defeat this sin.

There’s no point wallowing in self pity and feeling sorry for myself when I put the pieces in play for me to fall every time.

Need to take it one day at a time. Need to ensure I become the best version of myself I can be

Life has a strange way of changing people. The things we once cared about may eventually lose their meaning, and the things we never noticed might become the most important parts of our lives. As time passes, we learn that not everyone will understand us, not every plan will work out, and not every question needs an answer. Sometimes, peace comes from accepting what we cannot change and focusing on what we can. Growing up is not about knowing everything; it is about learning to live with uncertainty.

I posted abt finding out that my father watches haram content. Thank you all for your tips and advice. A lot of people advised me to stay silent, while others said I should tell my mom. I really thought about it and considered every possible scenario, including what the future might look like and the possibility that my mom might one day ask me, “Why didn’t you tell me?” I also thought about how I would feel if I were in her position as a wife.

I first wanted to tell her in General to be cautious. I thought if she already knows i would have done what i could and if not she can look for herself. I said Remember when you told me to tell you everything about Dad? Well, I wanted to tell that you should be cautious. I wanted to leave but she then wanted to know everything and told me to stay. I broke down crying. I didn't expect it to affect me that much. I'm even tearing up as I write this. She was genuinely scared, and I could see it on her face. It took me a while to calm down, but eventually, I told her what I had seen. We talked about it, and she said: I know you feel this way because you see him as your role model. She was right.

Anyway, after a long discussion and a lot of crying, I can now confirm that she genuinely had no idea. She told me that she had heard stories like this from other people before, but she had never imagined something like this happening in our own family.

She said SubhanAllah, because she had been asking Allah to reveal the truth to her if my dad was doing anything behind her back. And now, this has happened.

She had never known because she rarely touched his phone, and he would get angry if she did. She was also heartbroken that I was the one who had discovered this. She was deeply upset, too, and later, I found her reciting duas.

We then tried to find possible solutions. I tried to block these websites through our router, but unfortunately, our particular router doesn't have that option. I could install an app on his phone to block these sites, but that would be too obvious. I'm not very good with phones, routers, or technology in general. So, does anyone here have any experience with this? Is there a way to block these websites without it being obvious? As for confronting my dad, my mom is still scared to do so. For now, she plans to bring up how watching this kind of content is wrong and how Muslims need to find their way back to Islam, without directly confronting him or making it obvious that she knows. However, blocking these sites completely would be better.

Last time I made it to 8 days before relapsing which is my personal record. I'm trying to beat it again but cravings are killing me today 😞. I'm gona try to work out later hopefully that helps call me down . Any advice brothers?

Salam Alaykum everyone,

I wanted to open a sincere and honest discussion regarding an issue that has quietly become an epidemic in our communities: the pervasive presence of pornography and how it fundamentally alters our moral fabric before and during marriage.

Virtually every young man today has crossed paths with this filth, often at an alarming, vulnerable age. What troubles me deeply is how rapidly this is being normalized — even in Muslim societies — under the excuse of "it's just biology" or "a harmless stress reliever." In reality, research and lived experience show that it often takes 3 to 8 years for someone to even realize they are trapped in a destructive compulsive cycle. Even "casual" or "moderate" consumption slowly hollows out a person's soul.

Reflecting on my own life, I remember the pure fitrah of childhood. Back then, my sense of haya (modesty) was so sharp that even a passing glimpse of uncovered skin on a screen made me instinctively lower my gaze and turn the channel. Today, having struggled with this addiction, I see the damage: the gaze starts subconsciously seeking what is forbidden, genuine empathy begins to dull, and the sacred value of both one's own chastity and the partner’s chastity gets compromised.

I am writing this as a brother who is actively fighting to break out of this pit, rebuild my moral discipline, and hopefully help others do the same. I want to pose two direct questions:

1. To the sisters:

How do you truly perceive the consumption of pornography by a prospective spouse or husband? Do you view it as a form of emotional and moral infidelity (a betrayal of the sacred trust/amanah)? If a man consumes it — even occasionally — does that shatter your trust and become a definitive dealbreaker for you?

1. To the brothers (especially those who have fought or are fighting this):

Have you noticed how this habit insidiously rewires your inner compass? How has it affected your ability to see women as human beings with dignity rather than objects, and has it eroded your reverence for premarital chastity?

I genuinely believe that until we call this what it spiritually is — an act of betrayal and a corruption of the heart (zina of the eyes and mind) — men will continue to rationalize their relapses. We need higher standards, not excuses.

Looking forward to hearing honest, unfiltered perspectives. Please keep the discussion respectful. Jazakum Allahu Khair.

Day 3 of not watching anything nsfw completed.

It is becoming hard!

it needs 150 characters to be posted so ignore rest thing.

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i havent touched any haram stuff Alhamdulilah,i prayed fajr,and will pray johr now.though the procrastination that comes with sins is still trying to push me into sin,i will not fall into it and pray johr and study.please keep me in your prayers

… I decided to go back to my outlets and find someone to talk to but it was even more soul sucking. So I made (and continue to make) Dua for Allah swt to put disgust and hatred in this sin for me and everyone here. I felt pathetic lol. And then left it.
Which is a win as I didn’t slip.
I then had to clean my bedroom, and put laundry away. And instead of playing music out loud I decided to put my Quran Spotify playlist on. And mashallah :) felt like Ramadan. Is that bad? Maybe. But it gave me such a sense of relief in my body :)

And then I showered and did ghusl. And remembered that cleanliness is half of faith.

I am maintaining about a weekly streak and inshallah I plan to slowly add another week. I can’t afford to slip mid week as I will delay my ghusl as I want to avoid washing my hair. So that’s an extra encouragement for me to keep clean.

Have a blessed day y’all :)

i prayed Alhamdulilah on time and didnt watch corn,but ai addiction did cost me the day by a lot as i didnt study and felt the day was wasted.Im refraining from that too now onwards inshallah.

Completed Umrah for the first time about 10 days ago and got back to the UK last Thursday. I didn't watch porn/masturbate for a few days before going and haven't done since getting back. I think it's to do with the Umrah and seeing that as a kind of fresh start. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't gone to the accounts of certain famous attractive women on socials to look briefly, but I snap out out of it and go onto YouTube or read a book. This has helped. I guess we wouldn't be human if we didn't look, but it's what we do after that matters.

Quickly, for years, I could go long periods, talking 3-5 months plus without looking at porn, but my issue was looking at tik tok vids, twitter images and sub reddits of attractive women on Reddit. Pornography is way easier to quit than masturbation, although the former often leads to the latter, but the latter can be performed without the former.

Sometimes, life teaches us lessons that we never expected to learn. We may spend years chasing certain dreams, only to discover that happiness comes from something completely different. As we grow, our priorities change, our perspective becomes clearer, and we begin to understand what truly matters. Life isn't a competition, and everyone moves at their own pace. Instead of comparing our journey to others, we should focus on becoming better than we were yesterday and enjoying the little moments along the way.

Its fajr where I am and I have just prayed. Im ashamed to admit this but afterwards I started feeling urges and because I have prayed in my head thoughts like "I can do ghusl later so do what you want now" astagfirullah come to mind and unfortunately I relapsed. I need a way to get rid of these urges and if anyone can help then please do.

A lot of people have advised me to keep my phone away from me when I want to sleep, but the thing is I’ll need to leave my phone inside my room for my fajr alarm to wake me up and for my school alarm to also wake me up. I feel like leaving my phone in the room at night is a massive trigger for me, but it’s the only option I have to wake me up from sleep.

If anyone has any ideas of what I can do, instead of leaving my phone in the room let me know. I’ve already tried alarm clocks, but they don’t really work well in waking me up, as you can only set one alarm for the clock and I can just easily snooze it. My phone works the best in waking me up for Fajr and for going to school.

Record your relapses my soldiers!  On Track October Challenge

All those who have relapsed today, record it here.

Don’t fret, don’t worry!

You have the strength to become better!

Start strong and keep winning!

I created a small guide in google docs, its my thoughts for this challenge, what I have to do, how to prepare, how to survive and all, hope this helps someone, this is the link : GoogleDocLink

Please do not request edit access.

Best of luck guys! Keeping winning!

Day 2 of not watching anything nsfw completed.

it needs 150 characters to be posted so ignore rest thing.

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I’ve been trying to identity my triggers recently and I think I have come to a few conclusions

They are mostly mental related as I avoid social media or any tv shows or movies

1. Rumination. Once I have a thought it’s almost impossible to get out my head. This goes for anything, not just this habit

2. Boredom. I have actively tried to fill my days with more learning, more purpose, even then there are moments where I get bored. In these moments, I find it very easy to fall into the sin.

3. Privacy. Of course only happens in my room. However being alone for hours just adds to 1+2

Unfortunately I felt short of my last streak at 9 days and have managed to crawl now to 7. I am fine until that initial thought creeps into my head.

I try not to feed it. I try distracting myself. Lately I’ve been memorising surahs so I end up just doing that.

But I then realise that not feeding it is in its own twisted way, feeding it anyways.

​

I'm 21 years old, male. I started masturbating when I was 13, along with watching porn.

The fapping problem: my first year of doing it was uncontrollable. I was doing it 3 times a day, but over time it went down to once every two days, then once every three days. But there was something worse than that.

I'm an introvert who lives in my own head rather than with the people around me, and I was heavily ashamed of what I was doing because I'm a religious person. My inability to control the masturbation made me go insane with anxiety, and it made me believe that every time I did it, the next day would be nothing but a jinx because God hated me. I held that belief for 3 years until I realized it was fake.

The reason it took me so long to learn anything was that I didn't have easy access to the internet, and I kept all my problems to myself and never told my parents about them.

That anxiety ruined me. I was even scared when there were women around me, because I was afraid I was a pervert or that I would harass them. I'm slowly recovering from that anxiety through self-reflection.

I don't think the solution to my problem is to focus on a hobby, because I have tried many hobbies and failed. I'm a curious person who lives in his head and will touch any thought. I can go a week without masturbating if I don't have sexual thoughts or watch something horny.

The porn problem: I started watching porn a month after I started masturbating, all thanks to my classmates. At first I was disgusted and didn't like it, but I forced myself to watch it because everyone else liked it. Watching porn was unstable. I didn't know what I liked, and I only watched for brief moments; I can't go for more than 5 minutes. Over time, watching it became harder because I started feeling that it was meaningless, and I didn't know why people like it and make art out of it with passion. I'm glad my brothers didn't go through my hell.

Three days ago I started a new approach: believing that my emotions toward porn and erotica are not from me but are just bodily emotions unrelated to me. Its first positive outcome is that I stopped looking at women's bodies, and whenever I feel like masturbating, I don't fight the feeling like I did in the past; I just let it pass.

What I'm asking is: would my approach to stopping fapping help with my anxiety, my social anxiety, my mood, and my self-confidence, and help me know myself better?