I’m a Christian woman in my early 20s, and I’ve been married to my husband, who is in his late 20s, for a little over a year.

I’m struggling with whether I have biblical grounds for divorce, particularly under Matthew 19:9.

Throughout our marriage, we’ve had six separate incidents involving sexual boundaries, lust, and behavior toward other women. Some incidents involved him looking at sexualized social media profiles. More seriously, I discovered behavior involving recording women, including people I personally know, that has left me deeply uncomfortable and questioning his character.

We’ve had repeated conversations about these issues. He’s apologized, acknowledged his struggles, and expressed a desire to change. However, this is now the sixth time we’ve found ourselves dealing with another incident.

My husband recently acknowledged that he believes I have grounds to divorce him.

His mother has also acknowledged that I have some grounds to leave, but she believes I have more reason to forgive him and work toward reconciliation.

I genuinely love my husband, and I entered this marriage intending for it to last a lifetime. However, I’m struggling with more than broken trust. I’m disturbed by his behavior and concerned that even if he changes, I may never see him the same way again.

I’ve been studying Matthew 19:9, Matthew 5:28, Matthew 7:16, and the biblical teachings about repentance and forgiveness.

I understand that lust is sinful, but I also recognize that Christians disagree about whether nonphysical sexual misconduct, including voyeuristic behavior, qualifies as porneia under Matthew 19:9.

My questions are:

1. Can repeated voyeuristic or sexually inappropriate behavior constitute biblical grounds for divorce, even without physical adultery?

2. Does a repeated pattern of sexual sin affect how Christians should interpret genuine repentance?

3. Is it biblically permissible to separate from a spouse when trust has been repeatedly broken, even if divorce grounds remain uncertain?

4. Can a Christian forgive their spouse while ultimately deciding not to reconcile?

5. How should I distinguish between honoring my marriage covenant and remaining in a marriage where I no longer trust or feel comfortable with my spouse?

I’m particularly interested in Scripture-based responses that explain the biblical reasoning, rather than simply telling me to stay because marriage is sacred or to leave because I deserve better.

I don’t want to divorce out of anger, but I also don’t want fear of sinning to keep me in a marriage that may already be irreparably damaged.

I genuinely want to make a decision that honors God.

Hey, im a women in my early twenties and huband is early thirties.

the thing here is that before we got married he showed no signs of being controlling at all literally zero.

When i go out of the house anytime i spend more than four hours outside he gets all grumpy about it even if i was out when he was at work!!

He also stopped drinking due to some medication he takes therefore he forces me not to touch alcohol, im a lightweight so i understand its annoying to take care of me kinda but its unnecessarily controlling.

Anyway how do i deal with it? Most of it is him being grumpy and its annoying asf when i come back or sending me sad messages or saying how dare i leave him alone at the house for this many hours (grown man btw) and i never been out long…. also doesn’t let me go out with my friends at night he says thats a red line but its stupid.

And please dont say divorce him or leave him, due to many many reasons i really cant and i dont want to we been married for only a few months and this is a problem that i want to control early before it gets worse.

I’m a woman in my 30s, married, and living in the San Francisco Bay Area. My husband and I have a six-month-old baby. I’m starting to suspect that he may be cheating on me, and I’m trying to figure out how to establish the truth rather than continue second-guessing myself.

There are several things that, individually, might have innocent explanations. But together, they have made me increasingly suspicious.

1. Frequent ATM cash withdrawals

He regularly withdraws cash from ATMs, usually a couple of hundred dollars at a time. When I ask him about it, he says he needs the cash for tips and miscellaneous expenses. I don’t know exactly where the money goes.

1. A discrepancy with his massage package

He enjoys getting massages, and we occasionally go together for couples massages at a legitimate establishment. I have no issue with him getting massages.

The concern is that he purchased a 10-session massage package, but he appears to have visited for more than 10 sessions. However, the massage pass doesn’t show those additional visits as attended. I don’t understand how that discrepancy can be explained.

1. Massage appointments close to closing time

He tends to visit massage places shortly before they close. He says they accept clients at the last minute, sometimes right before closing. I find this explanation questionable, especially when the appointments are so close to closing time.

1. An unexplained $1,000 withdrawal

In January this year, he withdrew $1,000 in cash. I have no idea where that money went.

1. A $200 withdrawal and a suspicious October outing

He withdrew another $200 in September.

In October, while he was on paternity leave, he said he was going on an off-site outing with his office colleagues. About an hour before he left, I asked him where they were going. He said he would find out later. I found that strange because I would have expected him to know the location or have some idea of the plan.

When he returned, he told me that dinner at an upscale restaurant had been cancelled and that the group had eaten at McDonald’s instead.

I checked his phone’s location history and saw that he had spent approximately an hour at a residential apartment before going to McDonald’s and then coming home.

I have no independent confirmation of what happened at that apartment or who he met there. But the combination of the unexplained stop, the vague plans, and the story about dinner has made me very suspicious.

What I’m struggling with

Whenever I question him, I get explanations, but the inconsistencies remain. I don’t want to accuse him of something this serious without understanding what actually happened. At the same time, I don’t want to ignore warning signs or spend months being lied to.

I have a six-month-old baby, and I need to think clearly about my future and my child’s well-being.

For those who have been through something similar:

\- What would you make of these circumstances? Am I overlooking plausible explanations, or are these reasonable grounds for concern?

\- How can I establish what is actually happening without relying on guesswork or getting drawn into endless arguments and denials?

\- Are there lawful, practical ways to verify what happened during that apartment visit or investigate the unexplained massage visits?

\- Would hiring a licensed private investigator in the San Francisco Bay Area be worthwhile in this situation?

\- If you discovered that your spouse was cheating, what evidence was most useful in establishing the truth?

I’m looking for practical advice from people who have dealt with similar situations, particularly those with experience in California. Please be honest with me, even if you think there may be innocent explanations. I want to know how to approach this intelligently and protect myself and my baby while figuring out what is really going on.

Please see: everything we have, financially is in a joint account. Savings in banks, stocks, our house, cars etc

Me (M30) and my wife (F29) have been married for 3 years, have a 2y old child.

Before pregnancy we were very active sexually, we were doing it almost daily. Since the first day of pregnancy intimacy is gone and it happens around 5 times a year.

Currently we are trying to find solutions for it and yes I know the long list of reasons which include hormones, body changes, femininity bla bla. I’m aware of all of them and I can say that I was very involved in kid’s growing and made sure she had the support.

But this was the story UNTIL NOW.

Recently I have seen some conversations of her with 2-3 of her ex boyfriends where she was VERY explicit sexually for example she was texting “I can wait for you to come so I can xxxx your xxxx and you can xxx all over my face”

I’m not judging her past experiences, she was younger, hormones probably on the roof and so on.

But I’ve never heard such words in my life from her and even though we were sexually ok I never thought she would do such things. (Even though I was thinking about it but I’m a pussy and didn’t try or discuss it)

Now of course my question is why do I have to wait 4 months for some boring sex while others who did nothing for her had all those porn like things for free.

The idea is that I don’t want to leave her, I love her so much and I want to take it easy and express my frustration as clear as I can without blaming her.

And yes, I would love to have that version of her.. but do you think it will ever happen if I confront her?

Any suggestions?

I'm a Indian woman based at United States. I’ve always been someone who takes good care of myself and is pretty serious about fitness. I’ve been working out regularly for quite some time now, and going to the gym has become a part of my daily routine.

My husband, on the other hand, isn’t really into fitness. He gets tired after work and barely shows any interest in working out. Lately, I’ve been pushing him to join me because I genuinely want him to take care of his health, and I thought working out together would be a nice way to spend time as well.

Now here’s the issue.

Since I’ve been going to the same gym for a long time, I’m pretty familiar with a lot of the regulars there. We see each other almost every day, so naturally, we know each other and have casual conversations between sets. Some of them are guys.

I don’t see anything unusual about this. We talk about workouts, exercises, or just random everyday stuff. Sometimes we exchange smiles or say hi when we see each other. It’s just normal gym socializing to me.

But my husband seems to get uncomfortable whenever a guy approaches me, especially if he’s someone who’s well-built or attractive.

He doesn’t say anything in front of them, but afterward he’ll start asking questions like who that guy was, how I know him, why he was talking to me, and whether we talk regularly.

Sometimes I feel like he pays more attention to who’s talking to me than to his own workout.

Recently, he even questioned why I’m so particular about going to the gym every day and whether I really need to go that often.

That honestly bothered me because I’ve been following this routine long before he started joining me. I go there because I enjoy working out and staying fit, not because of the people there.

I’ve tried reassuring him that these are just familiar faces I see regularly and there’s nothing inappropriate going on.

At the same time, I do understand that he’s not as confident about his fitness as I am, and being surrounded by guys who are in great shape might make him feel a little self-conscious.

I love my husband, and I genuinely wanted us to enjoy this activity together. But now I sometimes feel like I have to be conscious of every smile or conversation whenever he’s around.

So I wanted to ask, especially the men here, would you feel uncomfortable if your wife regularly interacted with other guys at the gym, even if the conversations were completely casual?

And women who’ve experienced something similar, how did you handle it without making your partner feel dismissed or compromising your own social freedom?

Would love some genuine perspectives on this.

We are separated but not divorcing. He’s the one who left And it’s been very playful and flirting the last couple weeks. And it was more specific today and we both can feel the tension but nothing happened.
I’m sure I want to fix stuff but i don’t know if he wants it.

Should I don’t let anything sexual happens ?

My wife and I have been married for 10 years and have two young children. We've been struggling for months, and she's told me she no longer feels emotionally connected or romantically attracted to me. She's mentioned separation and divorce, although she recently said she's 90% against divorcing.

I acknowledge that I've made mistakes over the years, particularly being defensive, critical, and trying to justify myself instead of listening to her feelings. I'm actively working on changing those behaviors through individual therapy, reading articles and watching marriage videos.

We're attending marriage counseling and reading Gottman's Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. She acknowledges some progress but says she's emotionally exhausted and doesn't have the energy to put much more effort into rebuilding our relationship.

Yesterday we had a good session with our therapist, and had dinner by ourselves afterwards. It was there she mentioned being 90% against divorce and referenced she believes we're stronger together, our kids, and the life we've built. I was feeling more hopeful than I had for months. Then last night she said that maybe she should move into the basement for her privacy. She mentioned not feeling like a married woman and being miserable because of it. She even mentioned a hypotetical separation where she would date someone else to see if we're meant to be together. I shut that down right away and let her know that's not something I would accept. I brought up Gottman's book and pointed out that she's not always the most active with the material, specifically the parts where we're supposed to think of all the positives about our spouse. I also mentioned her words of not having the energy to put in more work, but that I don't know how to fix things on my own, that it needs to be both of us. She took this as me being defensive again.

Today, she's been sending me videos and articles about defensiveness, saying I still don't understand and that she can't take it anymore. I feel like every attempt to explain my perspective makes things worse. She'll mention that I've made changes in the past to her concerns, but it always comes back "in a different form."

I love my wife deeply and desperately want to save our marriage, but I'm terrified of pushing her further away. I also feel like I'm walking on eggshells, afraid that one wrong conversation will be the final straw. She has told me multiple times how I'm an amazing husband and father but that doesn't mean I'm the right husband for her. As a catholic, divorce is not an option for me, I'm doing everything I can to try and fix things but nothing seems to connect.

For anyone who's been through something similar, how did you rebuild emotional connection when one spouse was already checked out? How do I take accountability without losing my ability to express my own feelings?

Please help, I'm beyond desperate.

I hate that I can’t shake this constant feeling like my wife is always doing something behind my back. Whether it’s texting another guy late or phone calls when I’m not there or traveling to meeting up with this one guy, again when I’m not there or traveling for work, it’s a constant state of being on high alert.

She swears she’s doing nothing wrong and the guy is just a coworker and a friend (yeah right). How would she feel if I was hiding text or even just texting another woman at 11m or sending kiss emojis (like she has to him) to her or hanging out with another woman behind her back. Especially one she’s never heard of or that I mentioned before.

How would she feel if I was talking about her behind her back to this woman (she has done this to me on many occasions). Or if I brought our daughter to meet her (wife did this with our daughter and brought her to her job to meet him) and she gave her a hug (like he did our daughter on multiple occasions and my daughter felt it was weird).

She has even said she missed him in text, but will never mention him discussion. She apparently tells him everything and I feel threatened and like I’m being pushed aside. I’m extremely uncomfortable with her relationship with him and she gets mad if I bring it up.

Just not fair that I feel this way all the time. It’s. I way to live but I need her healthcare benefits, we have a kid together and we have some much financially intertwined. Just don’t feel like I’m married anymore. I feel like I’m second fiddle regardless of what I’ve done.

Just helps me to get this out.

I (36M) and my wife (34F) have been married 8 years, engaged 5 years before that (long time waiting for her to finish college), and we dated 2 years before that so we've known each other 15 years at this point. My drive has always been higher than hers but we did things once or a couple times a week all the way up to her final year in college since she was living on campus, once she graduated we moved in together, got married, and the frequency was basically the same. We never had penetrative sex due to her fears of getting pregnant before marriage and we tried once on the honeymoon and it didn't work out so we continued our usual stuff all the way up to 2 1/2 years ago when we decided if we were going to have kids we better get on with it. Her caution was probably a good idea since it only took 5 tries to get pregnant and we now have a daughter. She had a pretty bad subchorionic hematoma early in the pregnancy so we refrained from sexual activity throughout the whole thing. Currently we have not had any intimacy since getting pregnant and she has expressed she has no desire to try it again. I'm not okay with it as I still have a high drive and hers has disappeared entirely. I still love her and our daughter so leaving is not an option and I know she can't be forced into it so what am I supposed to do? I can take care of myself but that's not what I was expecting getting into this marriage. I've wondered if it's a hormone thing but she isn't going to get tested because as far as I can tell she doesn't think anything is wrong. We still get along fine, I'd say our marriage is good, just there's no intimacy at all anymore. I go for hugs and I feel like she just tolerates it and is indifferent whether I do it or not. She sleeps at any opportunity she can so I spend every night doing chores by myself once her and our daughter go to bed. I wouldn't say she doesn't like me, she still puts effort into birthdays and holidays towards me and supports my hobbies, she just doesn't want the intimacy anymore. Close roommates is the best way to describe us I guess. Do I just figure out how to accept it? I'm not trying to say I'm entitled to intimacy from her but I know this isn't normal

TLDR: wife's libido fell off a cliff and I don't know how to deal with it

Idk if this is the place for this or not but I just want to find somone I can te my back history with about me and my wife just to see how normal or Un normal or even if how I am in the wrong for things .. idk it is alot but idk

My husband (40M) and I (37F) have been together for about 15 years. We’ve had some significant ups and downs but this current down has me questioning everything.

He’s cycled through some serious bouts of depression that include excessive porn use (including escort sites though he swears he never met anyone in person despite attempts to) and drinking heavily.

During these bouts he will frequently not work or push off projects til the last minute. He’s a charismatic and capable worker, so once he pulls out of his depression he tends to quit porn and drinking cold turkey, clean up his diet, and start pursuing new ventures. This got worse during COVID and ever since, we’ve been living through periods of great financial flow immediately followed by near poverty. Any financially abundant times are used to make up for the debt accrued during poverty (this includes friends, family, and credit cards).

During our entire marriage Ive been having children or in-school (often both). I have typically maintained a side gig or small side income at all times, but have not had to carry the family financially for months on end like him.

However, he’s taken multiple years (up to one year consecutively) off from working in between projects, draining our savings and racking up debt every time.

I finally graduated from school last year, worked one year in my field at a hospital, and then decided to open a private practice (I’m a family nurse practitioner). This has been our dream for a long time.

My husband stopped working 2 months after I opened my practice. We had no safety net, so savings yet, and my business was not generating a steady flow of income as I was just making a name for myself.

I told him I was concerned about my business‘s ability to support itself, invest in expensive medical equipment, pay fees, etc while having to immediately also support our whole household (we also have 4 kids).

He said I was entitled and he has had to do this for years and it’s my turn.

I’ve continually brought up how my business has been struggling to afford necessities, my ability to provide clinical care is stressing me out, and we‘ve barely made our house payment these last few months. Bills are going unpaid and credit cards are becoming defaulted.

He said he’s watching and homeschooling the kids so he can’t get a job. (I work 3 days a week MAX at my clinic and my patient load is low as my business gets on its feet)

I’ve been sounding the alarm for months and it just starts a fight. At the same time, I’m watching the drinking increase, porn use increase, and I feel like I know where we are headed but he just says I am constantly worried and nothing ever makes me happy. He says I’m not happy when he makes a good income so what is the difference. He also tells me bringing up the past is proof I can‘t get over anything.

I’m so stressed out and I don’t know what to do.

I feel like I’m about to lose my husband, my career, and my business.

I \[28F\] have been married to my husband \[30M\] for just a few months. We were friends for about 5 years before we started dating, and we dated for 2 years before getting married.
My best friend \[28F\] from college, who was also my roommate back then, is the person who introduced us, as she knew my husband from university. Her husband is also part of our tight-knit friend group and happens to be my husband’s best friend. We spend a lot of time together as a foursome.
A few days ago, I found out that during our college years—long before my husband and I started dating—my husband and my best friend slept together once.
When I confronted them, these were their explanations:
**My husband** said it happened once when they were both very drunk. He claims it never crossed his mind to mention it, or if it did, he assumed I already knew because "best friends talk about everything."
**My best friend** said she never told me because she "didn't want to cause drama or ruin the friend group."
Technically, this is not cheating. We weren't together when it happened, and he didn't owe me loyalty back then. However, I feel completely betrayed by the fact that they both actively hid this from me for over 7 years. I lived with this girl, I dated this guy, I married him, and all four of us hung out constantly, while they shared this secret behind my back. I feel like my whole relationship and my friend group are built on a lie, and my right to make an informed choice before marriage was taken away from me.
I am numb, angry, and deeply hurt.
Is my husband’s excuse ("I thought you knew") realistic, or is it a cop-out? Is this level of deception something a marriage can survive, or is the trust permanently broken? How would you handle the friend group situation?

TL;DR: Found out my husband and my college best friend slept together once years before we started dating. They kept it a secret for 7+ years while we dated and got married. Now they claim it wasn't a big deal or they just wanted to avoid drama.

39M here. I've been struggling to understand my wife's (32F) decision-making about our bachelor/bachelorette expectations. I'm curious whether outsiders could offer valuable insights.

Months before our bachelor/bachelorette, she brought up that she didn't feel comfortable including women in my bachelor party under any circumstances because it gave her anxiety and might prevent her from enjoying her bachelorette. I had no problem respecting her wish, and I've been to my friend's bachelor party. We didn't really have women involved- just hung out at a bar like brothers' time. I talked to my brothers about hosting a huge Airbnb alone, no women, and ended up booking an Airbnb in the middle of nowhere.

She went ahead and had her bachelorette in Las Vegas. She wanted Magic Mike, and I shared that I felt she had expectations of me, and it wasn't fair if she didn't follow through. She called me dumb and insecure. Magic Mike is just a show- nothing else. She shared her experiences at Magic Mike, including touching and lap dances. However, she still stood and said it wouldn't happen this time.

Another thing: she said she didn't trust my friends, even after I told her I went to their bachelor parties and nothing happened. She said her friends wouldn't encourage her, but she still questioned my friends.

Right before bachelor/bachelorette, she mocked that she should have a better time because it's Las Vegas, then apologized and acknowledged that she pressured me to be isolated with my brothers and felt awful. She cried, and I reassured her that I'd have a blast with my brothers regardless.

At nighttime, she called me and said omg men were all over her. She felt dicks and laughed. She seemed to be having a blast time. I was like, eh, she set her expectations of me, but she didn't follow through. I thought maybe she was having a great time and didn't think to acknowledge it or apologize. After a couple of days, she didn't text or anything to apologize.

When I saw her again, she smirked and said several guys flirted with her. She rubbed a guy’s chest at Magic Mike. She had the video, and I asked to see it. Was she like, " Eh, you sure? I watched and saw she seemed to have fun rubbing a guy’s chest from the top down to below his hip while the guy was humping or doing a lap dance on her. Then another guy, or two guys, did the lap dance on her.

She saw my reaction. I was really confused and didn't understand her thought process. She reassured me she didn't plan it, but the guy grabbed her hands. She froze and went along. She wanted to be cool. Her friends told me that she laughed and said she rubbed the guy’s chest the day after the incident. They said she seemed to show no remorse and played along.

I reminded her that she questioned my friends when her friends encouraged her. She said she didn't see her friends encouraging her. I was like, but the video shows it. She protected and insisted that her friends didn't encourage her. A few weeks ago, she finally admitted that her friends encouraged her and had fun. She agreed that Magic Mike is the space where women could sexualized men. They had to go there and it's Vegas. She didn't know what else to do there without Magic Mike. They had to go there because it's bachelorette. I was like huh and she didn't want me to experience traditional bachelor?

We had been digging ourselves in deep hole and it affected our marriage. She apologized thousands times. We agreed to reset and let it go. We see counseling and work it together.

At time to time (nearly everyday) I'm still confused about her thought process and why she thought it was okay while she didn't want me to do this. It's so weird to me. Can you help me out?

​

Me and my wife so that in law she could come with us at our house for a while since in Puerto Rico they're having trouble with the water and the light and she just needed a break from it so we decided to let her to stay with us for a while.

Where frequently active sexually and when she is here we can't be as free as we want to be. After a while it starts getting annoying. So this morning we were having our time woke up my wife to have sex in the morning and she loved it and then while we were into it and getting there I don't know where our lights start turning on.

Now we are at the other side of our house cuz we have a mini apartment room that we have within our house that we stay there to have our privacy and we put my in-law on the other side of the house. But sometimes in the morning She like to open the door and coming into our room without permission thinking she has a 10 year old daughter.

Early this morning while we were doing it our lights started turning on and the door was opening and then she heard my wife moan and then left.

At least my wife was able to finish but I wasn't but I'm just happy that she was cuz she gave me a good night last night.

What I do in this situation to not be annoyed cuz right now she is not leaving until the end of November. My body Language shows that I don't want her there but I'm trying to just keep it in the mean time.

My husband and I both have an extremely high sex drive and always have. We average probably 1-2x a day and do other stuff even more. We have recently started discussing whether or not we are ready for kids. We both agree that we are but im just wondering if its possible our sex life can still stay the same. I know that immediately after there will be some changes but is it still possible to keep this up? Has anybody in a high libido relationship maintained that after kids? I hear so many stories about how sex just completely stops after having kids but its something thats a big part of our relationship.

My partner and I have completely opposite political opinions and that some times does affect the way we see each other as a person.

I am not married to this person yet but is this something we should be considering as an important factor?

Have you ever been in a relationship before where both partners had different opinions? And how did you navigate through it?

I'm 8 months pp and on a antipsychotic that has ruined my libido. I still try to initiate sex sometimes so my husband doesn't feel I don't want him. He told me he's bored. I used to be able to please him, and now I can't. I don't know what to do. I was angry and initially made me want to retaliate by stopping initiating all together. I felt like I tried so hard and still being told he was bored with sex made me even rethink the relationship. I don't really know what I'm trying to get out of this post.

I just wanna feel seen, I want to be appreciate.

Im tired of it always being a fight,when I ask for help around the house. I know I can do everything, but do I want to hell no. Im a wife,a mom, a daughter. But the wife title seems more like personal maid. I have gotten to a point where I have stopped asking for help. I just do it myself. Then I get asked well why didn't you ask me.

Well because everytime I ask you to do something it never gets done and I end up doing it myself.

Guess it's time to really focus on me and my babies

Had a kind of realization in therapy today I have fallen out of love with my spouse, or maybe never was in love to begin with. We are a good team (no kids), great friends - they’re deeply in love with me.

We have issues (emotional intimacy, difficulty connecting on deep level) that I think have gone unnoticed for a longtime.

I’ve been unpacking, processing, and trying to learn in therapy. I know I’m to blame for a lot - I’m definitely part of the problem. I want to be better.

Today my therapist said “I think they’re in love with you but I don’t know if you’re in love with them. You have a deep love for this person but I don’t think it’s romantic love.” I’m in therapy to try and fix myself best I can - spouse has so far declined couples or individual therapy. They’re a really wonderful person, but emotionally not super available.

Besides the obvious - date nights, hanging out, consideration (all these things happen) - how do you fall in love with someone you are already married to? I don’t want to leave for this reason..

Hi everyone, I’m reaching out for some advice. Myself and my husband have been together 6 years and married for 4 months. We have no children (both 32M & 33 F)
At the start of our relationship my partner would lie about small things. He’d say he’s had 2 beers but actually had about 6, lie about what time he’ll be home and be home at 2. Then lie if work women were to message him (nothing that seemed sinister but to hide it came across as sinister)

I have a lot of trauma in my past with my father leaving me at a young age promising to come back and then one day never did, I have had people tell me they’ll be home to me and never did, friends family previous exs lie to me. All of this makes me massively insecure as a person therefore I do always worry if someone lies to me. To have my partner lie to me continuously over small things really does affect me and I feel as though I can’t work on myself if this keeps happening. We’ve had numerous discussions and seen a therapist who’s pointed out how unhealthy it is to lie and the reasoning as to why he might lie - which is how I’d react. For instance all of the above, I wouldn’t be happy and we’d argue, but again this is a circle we’re going round in as I just want him to be honest with me and I’ll learn to have some faith and trust if he stops lying as it makes me second guess everything ng else he does day to day.

We’re 4 months into our marriage and this is still going on. It’s small things like a female colleague texting him and being flirty, hiding it from me to protect my reaction at home (he hasn’t engaged back with her from what I’ve seen) and lying about having a couple of beers apostle to 1.

Any advice in this situation would be really helpful as I’m at breaking point with the lying. We do have some history of family drama on his side which doesn’t help the fight of the marriage, but aside of the family dramas these lies are the only thing pushing me away. I can’t work on myself and my trust if I ask my partner something, he lies then 4 hours later tells me the truth. I tell him time and time again that lying will not get us anywhere and it makes me lose trust in him.

I’m 36, my husband is 42, and I’ve been with him since I was 19. We’re coming up on our 15th wedding anniversary, and we’re good in pretty much every aspect of our marriage. The one area where we really differ is intimacy. In my younger teenage years, I was sexually abused. Sometimes I wonder if that experience changed my feelings about sex and intimacy. My husband was my first consensual sexual partner, and he has been my only partner. My husband views sex as a way to bond and connect emotionally. He wants to cuddle, kiss, hold each other, and look into each other’s eyes. Meanwhile, that kind of intimacy makes me want to fucking puke. I don’t want to spend an hour cuddling, kissing, and staring into each other’s eyes like he does. I want to fuck. Give me the rough, physical stuff: pull my hair, smack my ass, and let’s get down to business. I want 10 to 15 minutes of sex, and then we can get on with our day. I don’t crave sex the way my husband does, either. He would happily have it in the morning and again at night every day, whereas sex is the last thing on my mind. The thing is, I actually want to be able to enjoy sex the way he does. I want to understand what he means when he talks about sex being a way to bond and connect, but I honestly don’t know how to get into that mindset when i have so much other stuff on my mind. The romantic side of sex feels so unnatural to me that I struggle to understand how people enjoy it. Could my past sexual abuse have influenced how I feel about romantic intimacy, or do I simply prefer sex to be physical rather than emotional? Has anyone else experienced this, particularly those who have experienced sexual abuse? I love my husband, and we have a good marriage. I want to understand myself better and figure out how to navigate this difference in our marriage without forcing myself to feel something that doesn’t come naturally to me.

I’d appreciate honest advice and personal experiences from anyone who has been in a similar situation.

Does anyone still get first date jitters with their spouse? My husband just got back from being away for work for 3 months. He’s been home a few days and I returned to work today so he took me to lunch. He surprised me with flowers and coffee before lunch and dressed up really nice for our date and looked great. I actually felt very awkward and had that feeling after he dropped me off at work of “oh I hope the date went well and he wants to see me again.” We’ve been together just over two years. I feel a little silly for having that feeling and am wondering if it happens to anyone else as well.

I (29M) & my wife (30F) have been together for 6 years. For the last 2 years I was in college full time while also working full time. In the beginning I told my wife I was doing this so hopefully she no longer had to work. I found out how foolish I was thinking that’s easily attainable in this economy. I told her that she will have to continue to work if she wants the life style she’s been dreaming of. I constantly stress over money to pay bills & to afford to take her on trips. When I complain to her about it, her answer is always “we will figure it out” which means I alone will figure it out. She works at a fast food restaurant where she cut back on hours after I graduated. I asked her to try to get more but she says she keeps asking for more but they just aren’t giving her more hours. I’ve asked her to try to find another job but she doesn’t try because “she can’t pass a drug test”. I’ve even tried to get her to at least try to get her GED so she can find a better job & she has turned that down & refuses to do it. Even tho she is working less hours she doesn’t keep the house clean like I have asked her to or do laundry or even cook hardly. Anything I ask her to do she ends up forgetting about. She works maybe 2 times a week & our house is filthy & dogs stay in the kennel all day & our smallest dog usually ends up potting in the kennel. We currently live with hardly working heat & have been dealing with this for 3 years. All of our space heaters burned out last winter & we will need to buy new ones. The house we live in is owned by my dad & luckily he doesn’t charge us rent. I’ve been looking to move but there is no way I can afford rent on a 2 bed room house that we are needing plus down payments to move. I told her we are just going to have to buy one space heater at a time & maybe wait a year until I can get a loan. I told her I am also going to go back to school next year for my bachelors & if my job offers me night shift I am going to take it because it is more pay then I can have time to pick up a second job during the day. Her response was “that sounds good”. She won’t look for a place to rent, won’t offer to help find a solution with me, & won’t clean the house up so I can at-least but my dad to come & finish our heat. I’m just at a loss at this point & don’t know what to do.

Married fellas, drop your thoughts.

Been sexless for months, for the past 2 years of marriage, we only had sex for < 15 times.

She always sleep late, 3 am above, even sometimes 8am in the morning and wake up late 1 or 2 pm in the afternoon.

Often get rejected for physical and emotional need, and she always says "You're not happy and I'm not happy as well, make yourself happy"

I listen to her whenever she wants to vent, to regulate her feelings upon her family and friends, but whenever my turn to vent, she turns to be "objective" or "emotionally full", so I couldn't do anything.

Whenever I away from home, she's happy.

She's forcing me to follow her agendas, to meet her friends, family events, etc.

Right now I feel trapped, sexless marriage, couldn't watch porn or masturbate due to religion cause, emotionally unfulfilled, stress and have a complex dynamics with my in laws, because I work for her dad.

I feel trapped and want just want to end my life. I feel not important..