Not even in a weird bad way. It’s just that if I was attractive whether I’m shy, outgoing, recluse, active, lazy, funny, serious, sarcastic, depressed, insecure, confident, etc. Whether I’ve niche interests or more popular ones. It wouldn’t really stop me from having a relationship either way because guys would adapt to me (unless really morally black acts).
So does personality really matters? Why would it if if I do surgery anything will flow my way?
Makes me think. I think personality should be for yourself at the end of the day. I don’t see how personality can out balance me out of this hole.

This is a repost from ask men advice i posted. I'm planning on going through with it. Just posting it here because I want to tell someone why and i can't do that in real life.

went to two therapists in my life. one in 2019 and one in 2023. I've always been a loner. as of now, I'm 27 and never hung out with anyone outside of a school, work, and meetup app or equivalent environment, unfortunately. when I told my first therapist this, I gotta give him credit, he tried hard. showing me different events and even texting me things happening around town off work hours. He really didn't have to do that. unfortunately, none of it worked. I get along fine but it never goes beyond arms length.

one of the things I talked about a lot was sexual frustration. he tried giving me dating advice and helped me set up dating apps but that didn't work. He outta the blue asked me if I thought of escorts. his rational for my case is "the way you're describing your interactions with women, I suspect there's a fear emanating off you that they can feel. it might ultimately be best to gain some experience to help ease your nerves cause as you are now, I can't really see someone giving you a chance." I was stunned silent. afterwards, I looked up online if anybody had gone through something similar and nearly all responses said "drop that therapist." and I did. haven't seen him since.

couple years later, 2022/2023 can't remember the exact year at this point. I tried someone else. there's some differences, of course, but it ended at the same crossroads as before. I've now experienced two professionals telling me to do something illegal. (though to give the second guy credit, he said to go to a place where it was legal like parts of Nevada or the Netherlands.) I dropped him too and haven't gone back to therapy since.

cut to the beginning of 2025. I just moved to a new city and wanted to put my best foot forward. I joined a sports center, a running club, a young adults meetup group, and made the effort of going out more nights for stuff like dancing and bar crawling. none of it worked. I've many aquantiances but no friends and my sexual frustration is getting really bad as I write this and am now thinking of just biting the bullet and hiring someone. it'll either be where I'm at now, illegally, or I go on a sex fueled vacation to a spot where it's legal.

I want a couple of second opinions and the reason why I tried to go into as much detail as possible is to show that I've been trying. all the platitude advice is stuff I've read and tried myself. Maybe this entire thing is just me wanting to vent. have a nice day.

Edit 1:didn't think I'd get this many replies and having them being supportive. Even the ones that says don't do it was from a very understanding poverty, and for that, thank you. I probably should've told what I hope to accomplish with this plan. My therapist put it best. "You are so fixated on the idea of sex that you don't approach women like the humans that they are. This might help you shake off the hyperfixation." I'm hoping that this will happen and be able to talk to people more casually.

I'm someone who's been experiencing loneliness since I was a teenager and I've tried friendships a lot but it never did anything for me regardless of the quality of them. Like I've just come to accept that my loneliness will be best satisfied by relationships instead. A good quality relationship just gives you way more than friendships ever will.

So, if one of my parents passes away as they grow older, I won't be able to handle the pressure alone. In fact, my whole body might freeze when I see my mom's dead body. That's how weak I am. I might not even be able to hold my phone in my hand. I've lost all hope, and I feel like I'll remain single until death takes me.

Social skills really are a muscle. I've been alone for so long (years) my ability to socialize has atrophied to basically nothing. I've gotten so used to it I barely even feel human, I feel so alien to everyone. I could theoretically improve, but it would be too painful/cringy and too late. The juice wouldn't be worth the squeeze.

The only irl socialization I have is dealing with coworkers at my job, no actual conversations. I don't even desire to socialize but the intrinsic need for human connection is always hovering over me.

Sometimes I'm hopeful I can meet someone by some miracle, other times I'm realistic and end up here.