r/Explainlikeimscared • • Jul 11 '26

Rules Update and Consequences (Removals, Mutes, Bans) (Long Mod Post)

58 Upvotes

Hi, all! Nothing much is changing, but I wanted to actually clarify the system for rulebreaking in our community, set it out clearly so everyone can see, and add one new rule that will only impact a very small minority. Strikes and bans won't usually be applied retroactively, so no need for too much worrying as long as you follow the rules. Most of this post isn't necessary to understand the changes, I have a TL;DR at the top and you'll be able to check the rules page if you're curious. But this is mostly just laying out the consequences for rule breaking, why they exist, and having them here so that everyone can refer back to them if they're curious. So feel free to read it all, or not, if you're sure you've never had a comment removed.

But tiny housekeeping addition cause I hope people will read this: If you put a link in your comment, and it looks weird, Reddit autoremoves it. Not me. If you're selling a product, I will remove it. If you're gonna give OP a virus, I will remove it. So think really hard about any links- if you must, link to an official site or something. And think about whether OP is really going to want to go to your Instagram or whatever.

Anyway! Clarity, or TL;DR: Gatekeeping and Civility & Respect are really important rules in a community for people who are struggling. No exceptions. This includes being rude to people who were rude first. So being bigoted gets you permanently banned from the subreddit. Being cruel to OP or other commenters gets you escalating temp bans to permanent. Being rude to people, yes, no matter what, gets you strikes up to escalating temp bans. If someone's a dick, report them. That said, if someone is rude and you disagree without breaking rules, I'm going to remove your comment without any strikes just because I'm nuking the whole thread. But don't do that. Cause I'm just going to remove it and it's annoying.

We also now have escalating temp to permanent bans on intensely repetitive posts- You may not make more than two posts about the same topic in under fourteen days. More detail about this later on, but this really is only going to relate to people who are continually reposting the same thing, not people who have multiple questions about different topics.

First, Gatekeeping and C&R.

Why? Because this subreddit is for people who are anxious or struggling with a task, to give them guides. Cruelty is obviously not helpful. And A) People who are nervous about something do not want to open their post to see a wall of back-and-forth where two commentors are arguing. And B) this is for guides, not reddit fights. Come on.

So:

1) Bigotry/cruelty. Anything very nasty (threats, suicide baiting), anything offensive (slurs, bigoted comments), anything openly rude (personal insults). Post is removed. Immediate permanent ban. There's no excuse.

2) Cruelty. Name-calling. Gate-keeping. Bluntly rude comments and dissmissiveness. This is not quite to the offensiveness level of above. Example: 'This question is stupid' / 'Then maybe you shouldn't try' / 'Anyone can do that'. Nasty stuff... but not like the unprintable examples above. Comment removed. Strike one- one-month temp ban. Okay, maybe this popped up in your feed and you didn't read the rules, and you'll have a miraculous turn-around and your heart will grow three sizes. If you come back and do it again, that's a three-month temp ban. If you do it a third time after that, I can only assume you're trolling. Permanent ban.

3) Rudeness. Yes, even in self-defence or defence of OP. Why? Because this isn't real life or a fandom forum. People are not here to watch you argue with someone. Not even for a good reason. If you want to comment, leave a comment for OP that's helpful. If someone's being nasty and I haven't already seen it, report it. If someone's being really nasty- like, level one stuff- and it's been up for a little while, send a mod-mail because I'm probably offline and that'll send me a notification. If you think someone's being a jerk and it's been a while but it's not level 1, I'm probably allowing it through for some reason, like it has really good advice, or it seemed off to you but it's borderline, so I don't think it's that deep. That said, if I get a notif that like, a dozen people reported a comment for being hurtful, I'll know that it is that deep, so always feel free to report. Numbers help.

If you're rude and argumentative, your comment will be removed. Comments should be helping OP in some way! That's the point!

First removal: strike. Second removal: strike. Third removal: one month temp-ban. And then escalating to three month and permanent.

Why? Because this is not the place for that. You're still breaking rules. And imagine you're OP, you were super nervous to post, you're hoping for answers. You see your post has thirty comments! That's exciting!

...And when you open it, it's one answer, one rude comment, and a long comment thread of people arguing.

That's why if I see a thread of arguing under some nasty comment, it's all getting removed. If you're not breaking rules, no strikes or bans, but like... don't. So if you have some really good advice, post it as a top-level comment.

This means: If OP says:

"Hi, guys! How do I buy a sandwich?"

And Commenter 1 says "This question is dumb lol... who doesn't know how to buy a sandwich"

And Commenter 2 replies "You're a dick! Don't be mean!"

And Commenter 3 replies "Hey man, that's not cool."

Commenter 1 is getting a one-month ban. Commenter 2 is getting a strike. And commenter 3 is getting their comment removed cause the whole thread is being removed cause it sucks.

Second, New Rule: Repetitive Posts

So. I'm about to put up a new rule. Just based on numbers, this affects less than 1% of posters here, and even fewer contributors. But I want to explain it clearly because it's new.

This rule is against repetitive posts. Similar three-strikes system.

The rule: You may not make more than two posts about the same topic in under fourteen days.

Now you're nervous, right? Don't worry. All three of those have to be hit to cause an issue.

So... you're going to uni and you need to pack. You're nervous. You make a post about it. The next year you make another, similar post about packing. No worries! Same topic, but only two posts, and months apart.

So... you're taking the boat to Antarctica and you want info. Great! Make a post! But the next day, Mum calls. You're actually taking a flight! So you make a post about flights. No worries! Under fourteen days... but it's two different topics, and only two posts.

See what I mean?

This is about repetitive, reassurance-seeking posts.

Now, this is not limited to, but very commonly run into by people who tell me that they have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and/or anxiety. I'm not surprised. I also have Obsessive-Compulsive. I'm not diagnosing anyone, but the fact is that the vast, vast majority of these posts are from people who speak about having these conditions. That said, the rule applies to everyone regardless of reasons.

If you're not familiar and you're curious, here's a page on reassurance-seeking from a reputable organisation. OCDAction: Reassurance

If you're not familiar and don't want to read a page, here's a relevant quote: "Like with all compulsions, the initial relief in anxiety that the person feels when they get reassurance does not keep the anxiety at bay. The OCD will be telling the person that once they get just enough reassurance they will feel better and be able to move on from the concern, but in reality the doubt eventually resurfaces, or a new one will take its place."

Reassurance-seeking is basically when someone wants to be assured that they're safe, that they're okay, that nothing bad will happen. Happens to all of us. But with people who have these and similar mental health conditions, no amount of reassurance will be enough. It'll twist, and change, and need constant settling-down.

What this means in practice is that someone will make a post (that doesn't fit the subreddit, by the way), saying 'Do you think I have X Disease?' 'Am I safe if I XYZ?' 'Is it okay to ABC?'. These are not requests for guides, they're questions, so should be ignored. I'll likely remove them when I see them.

But if you answer them, the poster will be effusively grateful. And if you're the poster, you'll feel a lot better!

But then the next day, the poster will go 'aw, crumbs, I left out Theta Symptom of X Disease' / 'biscuits, I forgot to tell them that I didn't just XYZ, I also QRS'ed!'.

Another post. More answers. More gratitude. More feeling better. Then the next day, they'll realise something else.

This can (and has!) gone on for weeks. Listen, it's no good for our subreddit when it's flooded by repetitive, off-topic posts. It's no good for our contributors, who are trying really hard to soothe someone when they don't have the training for it. And it's no good for the posters! If you're feeling bad and looping a thought, Reddit answers aren't going to be good enough to help. That's why they keep posting! It isn't good enough. You could get harmful advice or someone could accidentally make you feel worse. There's advice out there about how to help someone with reassurance meant for family and carers and treatment professionals. Strangers on Reddit can't help. They just can't. Reassurance-seeking is banned on the major OCD subreddits for a reason.

It's got to stop. And early.

So. You make a post. Maybe it's off-topic, so it gets removed. No worries. If you do it again, that's your second. Also removed.

If you make a third post on the same topic in under fourteen days, it will also be removed. You'll get a two-week temp-ban. I want you to come back and contribute as your best self! But not like this!

If you make a fourth post on the same topic at any point in time, you'll get a one-month temp ban. A fifth post is a three-month temp ban. A sixth post is a six-month temp ban.

Anything after that is a permanent ban. But this isn't the same as cruelty or gatekeeping. If you're permabanned for this and you want to talk about it and you've got a reason you're not going to do it anymore (treatment, support system)- modmail me. We'll talk. No one's mad, you're not in trouble. Just gotta keep everyone safe.

Fin.

Okay, that's it. Long post. I apologise. I'm going to update the rules shortly. Again, I won't really be banning people retroactively, so don't worry about any mystery bans. Strikes also accumulate going forward, excepting cases of major meanness (so, if you break a rule tomorrow, and I tap your name and your activity on the sub involves open cruelty or personal insults or slurs, that's definitely going to change how things go). Obviously also moderator discretion happens. So if you convince me your evil little brother posted something nasty full of slurs and invectives and typos and your whole account is you posting Pikmin fanart with flawless grammar, okay, I'll let it slide. If you're being a huge jerk, I might ban you even if it's strike two. Cause, you know. It's the internet, not a court of law. I'm not trying to argue with people on Reddit. Just be nice, please, holy heck.

But this is functionally not a large change. Just making it clear what was originally happening behind the scenes. So let's everyone just be cool going forward.


r/Explainlikeimscared • • Feb 22 '25

Political Megathread

83 Upvotes

Hi, everyone!

This is our first r/Explainlikeimscared megathread on politics. This is the place where you can ask for advice on things regarding politics, future speculation, and the sort of things that are no longer allowed in main posts. This is a bit of an experiment as yet, so rules for this may change in the future.

Now, aside from being allowed to post political things here, the other rules do apply. No conduct violations, no submitting too much personal information. Any posts alluding to suicidal content or violence against others will be removed, and repeat violators will be banned. That includes violence against politicians- no matter whom. It's not an issue of agreeing or disagreeing, but this is not the place.

This is also not the place for political disagreement or discussion. If someone asks for advice as a person who loves Snickers bars, do not respond saying that you don't like Snickers, or you prefer M&Ms, or you think that Snickers-liking is irrelevant. Respond to their main point, or not at all. Political back-and-forthing will be deleted.

With that said, go forth and be excellent to each other!


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 14h ago

how do i buy from a liquor store?

31 Upvotes

hi all, i turn 21 in 2 weeks and have never purchased alcohol before. none of my friends are 21 yet so i’ll be heading to the liquor store alone. i guess my question is how do i behave 😭 will they think it’s suspicious if im wandering around trying to orient myself and decide what i want? any other tips? also, my ID will still be valid but wont be renewed to the other orientation that shows i’m 21 - will that be a problem?

ps. if you have any tips for ordering at a bar feel free to include that too :) thanks!


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 10h ago

How do I online date?

7 Upvotes

I feel kinda pathetic even asking, but basically the title. I (40, trans guy) know the logistics, I’ve done it before a few years ago. But I have a really hard time connecting with dating profiles. I’ve been in love with 3 people in my life, and they’re all people I’ve known irl and formed an in-person connection with. How do people look at dating profiles and, well… feel anything? Even curiosity?

I’m recently-ish single (4 months ago) but ready to get out there and try again. I’m at the age where most of friends are happily married with kids, and I’m ready to have some version of that life too. It seems like online dating may just genuinely not be my thing, but options in my area are pretty limited, and I don’t know any other way to meet someone, especially being a trans guy - it feels like it really narrows the pool of options especially because it’s hard to tell from a profile if they’re even open to dating someone trans.

So, like, how do you donut? Those of you who’ve found love on a dating app, what advice do you have?


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 14h ago

How do I update my address?

11 Upvotes

Hi all! I recently moved into my new apartment—yay!—and don’t know the steps I should take to update my address. Where do I need to update it? How do I go about updating it? What do I need to update it?

I’m located in the USA, if that helps clarify any processes! Thank you!!


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 15h ago

How do you clean dog ears?

3 Upvotes

r/Explainlikeimscared • • 1d ago

Mice Droppings

11 Upvotes

Hello, I have contamination OCD and I’m really scared. I had found mice droppings in our garage, got pest control, and was hoping to be done with the issues. They also sprayed NoHarm repellent around the house. However, I just found a mouse droppings inside in a storage closet that is on an exterior wall. I’m crashing out and don’t know what to do. I cleaned it up (sprayed with disinfectant, let it sit for 10 mins, wiped it off).

But now what?

I was in there barefoot and moved things around. Am I at risk for hantavirus?

What about where I walked on the floor in the remaining house after? I also dropped my phone in the closet and only wiped it down with a wet one antibacterial wipe, is that enough?

I am contacting pest control again, but what do I do in the meantime?

I have a toddler in the home and this is my worst nightmare


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 1d ago

How do driving lessons work exactly?

15 Upvotes

I have never had actual driving lessons before, and I recently booked a few. When they arrive to pick me up, do I immediately start driving or can they take me to a parking lot until I'm a bit more comfortable in the car? I have driven before, but never on actual roads. Those who have had lessons before: did your initial lesson have a conversation prior to starting, and if so, how did it go?

I do only have 4 2-hour sessions, so I want to get on the roads ASAP to make the most of them, I just don't think my driving skill is okay enough to do that yet.

TL;DR/main ask: Please give me a run-down, ideally in detail, about driving lessons. If possible, please include info about how to ask to practice other skills. Thank y'all in advance!

Edit for more info: I live in GA, USA. I live in a suburban neighborhood, but it's pretty small and pretty much every street leads to a fairly busy road. I will be taught by a stranger who is a certified teacher


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 2d ago

How do I get a ct scan?

20 Upvotes

Ive been having abdominal pain and my doctor wanted me to get a CT Scan with contrast. I have one schedule for tomorrow but Ive never done anything like this and I don't know what the process will be like. Like what do I wear? Any description of what the process will be would be awesome!

Edit: Thank you for all the help! I went in and got it done! It was easy and I was ready for al l the wierd sensations. Of course everything was clear which means Im no closer to figuring out my abdominal pain and will likely have to get other tests done.


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 2d ago

How do I take my only car to the shop?

25 Upvotes

I need to get my car fixed - some minor body work and an unknown brake issue. How do I do this when it's my only ride and I live alone? Most repair shops (outside of dealerships) don't have waiting rooms. And I'm guessing the work will take many hours if not over a day or two.


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 3d ago

What do you do with finished crafts?

58 Upvotes

What do people do with crafts that don't have a purpose?? I understand wearing/gifted things like scarves or mittens and stuff, but what about the first few really bad attempts at those? Surely you dont gift those?

What about stuff like origami? What about art that isn't "sell-worthy" like finished coloring pages or paint by numbers or silly drawings? Amateur sculptures? Surely crafty people don't keep all this stuff, but it feels incredibly wasteful to me to just... throw it out.

Several times Ive wanted to do some fun or meant for kids pinterest craft like basket weaving or lantern making or paper macheing a volcano, but stopped myself because I dont really know what to do with it after I've gotten my joy from creating the thing and having it out for a bit. My home is small, and I dont have a lot of space to show off finished crafts

Is throwing it out really what people do?? Should I only be making crafts that I can find a use for?


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 3d ago

How do I invite someone to a party?

22 Upvotes

I've got two coworkers who seem like cool people. I wish I could get to know them better, but you can only talk so much at work. My friends are hosting a Halloween party next week, and I want to invite them so we can hang out outside of work. I blame the nonchalant epidemic bc truthfully, I wish I could tell them I want to be their friend.


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 3d ago

How do i go to a doctor?

18 Upvotes

Every once in a while i find myself needing a small check for a recurring problem but i dont know how to visit a doctor.

Do i book appointment for consultation? Or urgent care etc. Also is there any clinic etiquette? Do i sit down after entering or wait at the counter? What about payment, is it ok to ask how much before or after treatment? My parents never taught me and now i have to go by myself.

Any parents or kind soul can help me out. Im a very awkward person and thanks a lot


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 3d ago

How do I end an email to someone about a technical issue?

15 Upvotes

I occasionally have to email my online professors about an error with the course, but I never know what to say after explaining the issue. I might be wrong, but it feels rude to just say "Can you look into it, thanks." Is it better to just not say anything else?

In case my explanation is confusing, here is an example:

Good afternoon, I'm having an issue accessing X assignment. It gives me the message "this module is not available."

[This is the point where I don't know what else to say]


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 4d ago

Blood tests

12 Upvotes

I am fine with injections but do not handle blood-draws or IVs well. The concept makes me feel dizzy and nauseous, and I have a tendency to hold my breath during and pass out. I am fine with blood in general, it’s like I have a mental block on this particular concept. Even just visualizing it starts making me feel sick.

I need to go get a bunch of labwork done. Should I try to do it over multiple appts, or attempt to get it over with in one appt? Do I explain over the phone and ask if they have somewhere to lay down, or is that standard? It’s worse when I don’t eat, but the lead-up makes me feel nauseous - how do I deal? Should I try bringing my own numbing cream? Can I just preemptively faint and they do this while I’m unconscious, so I don’t have to think about it (kidding, but also not)?


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 5d ago

Outgoing mail at a complex?

16 Upvotes

So I know with a normal home mailbox you put the mail in and put up the little flag. How do I send mail out from my building's group of little boxes? Do I put it in my own box? Is there a slit somewhere I can't see? What am I missing


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 7d ago

How to tell new job I don’t want to put in two weeks or accept offer until background check clears

53 Upvotes

So I’m not sure if this is the best place to ask this, but I’m struggling and need some guidance.

A little background, some years ago I was struggling with drug addiction and made some poor choices. I’ve since contentedly turned my life around, yada yafa. I’ve been interviewing for a production planne, which is my dream promotion after years of working on the floor in manufacturing. After my final round interview today the recruiter called me and said they want to move forward, and to expect the offer between tomorrow and Monday. She indicated to just let her know when I put my two weeks in a free accepting and they’ll initiate the background check.

The problem is, back when I was using and being stupid (early 2023 to be exact), I acquired an attempted theft charge, in the form of attempted shoplifting. I literally just had the charge expunged last Tuesday but I doubt the background check databases have updated it yet. I honestly wasn’t thinking about them doing a contingency based offer. I really don’t want to give up on this because it’s genuinely my dream role and I’ve been so excited at this option, but I’m scared to put my two weeks in and have them revoke the offer and me not have a job.

My question: is there a way to email the recruiter/HR/whoever handles this moving forward and ask if there’s any way to not accept it and put in my two weeks until the background check comes back without it sounding suspicious? I genuinely don’t know if maybe they would just overlook it, it won’t come up, or wasn’t even a deal breaker. The team seems to love me already, but it’s a massive company and might have blanket policies.

Any advice would be great. Btw the job is in KY, I reside in/charges were in OH


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 7d ago

How do I compliment someone?

11 Upvotes

I mostly care about how people feel and what they are rather than what they do.

Sure you dyed your hair, but I really don't care about the color. I don't have a preference. Does it make you feel good? How can I say that without sounding weird?

Do I compliment someone on their choice of phone, or their choice of clothing? What's the difference?

How can I compliment someone's skill when I am not impressed? I don't mean it, so I just lie. I just think it's nice they can do something.

I like a person because I like how they act or if we have things in common. Similarly I don't like someone if they are so unpleasant (for me) to live with. Regardless of how good of an ass they have.


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 8d ago

what do you do at a house party?

56 Upvotes

i have a terrible habit when i’m in a group of new people of just leeching onto the one person i know the most and following them around all night. which my friends have said they don’t mind but i would like to be able to actually hold my own and mingle with other people better.

my best friend is hosting a halloween party where i will like half know a lot of people and so it is my goal to not do that to her 😤😤

my concern though is what else do i do instead so that so i don’t end up just awkwardly hiding in a corner?

i also dont know if im going to drink, so maybe factor that into your recommendations lol.


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 8d ago

When I’m giving a gift to a friend, do I take the price tag off? (I got a gift receipt too)

26 Upvotes

So I just went to Winners and bought a gift for a friend, got a gift receipt too in case she doesn’t like it and wants to return it. If I take the price tag off, will she still be able to return it? And if I can’t take the price tag off how else can I hide the price? Thank you

Edit: thanks everyone for the answers!


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 10d ago

Job interview starts when store opens

96 Upvotes

I have an interview for a retail store at 9:30 which is when they open according to their website. How do I arrive early in this case, as I’d just be lurking outside a closed shop staring at whoever is opening up OR waiting with the actual staff members.

I do not want to be late but also don’t want to seem like i’m inserting myself in so early on. It’s quite a small shop too.

Thank you in advance!


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 10d ago

how do i email my resume?

27 Upvotes

hi everyone!

i found a job that i'm interested in applying to, but the listing says to email them my resume. i know it may sound self explanatory but i haven't done this before so i'm a bit confused.

do i have to write something in the body of my email with my resume? or are they only asking for a blank email with my resume attached?

thank you in advance!!

edit: i probably should've mentioned that this is for an entry-level retail job lol but i think the given advice still applies here, so thank you everyone!! :-)


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 10d ago

Tips needed on how to find a job, please

41 Upvotes

Hi,
I wanna start that I'm very anxious and agoraphobic. I deal with health issues both mental and physical, I recently flunked and dropped out of uni because of those issues; now I am unemployed.

I got put on meds that make me even more nauseous and stressed than usual. Nothing is helping my anxiety and I need to find a job to not a burden to my family. Every time I'm scrolling through job listings I feel so stressed, this is such a foreign territory to me, I feel like I do not know how to do anything, let alone physical work with my health issues right now or dealing with other people.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation like this? How did you get better, or advance?


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 11d ago

How do I "freshen" my face and hair?

48 Upvotes

I don't know a thing about makeup or self-care, don't have a lot of money for extras but my face looks tired and WORN. My hair also is limp and thinning (thanks hormones and children). I just want to look 32 in the mirror and have an occasional refresh. I've tried asking acquaintances who look how I'd like to feel but they only suggest YouTube tutorials.

(When I've attempted makeup on my own, I feel like a clown even though I realistically it's never that different?)


r/Explainlikeimscared • • 11d ago

the tanning process at planet fitness?

9 Upvotes

I so badly want to go for a tan whether it be a spray or the bed but i’m so nervous of how it works