IF YOU SEE SOMEONE PLAYIGN FFUFUJCJNG SHADOWDARK YSOJ SHOULD RIP THEIR FUCKING HEADS OFF AND DRINK THEIR BLOOD. THEY MUST DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE IT'S TOO DEADLY!!! IT'S TOO DEADLY!!!! IT'S TOO DEADLY!!! BUY MY GAME INSTEAD.

Back in 2021, our party had just finished our quest to heroically set up a casino in the feywild, and we each got loads of gold.

A Fae Trickster came up to my character and made an offer. Two exclusive pictures from the Bored Hadozee Spelljammer Club. At first, I was skeptical, but he explained that my ownership of these pictures would be guaranteed by a system of blocks and chains that is managed by the Modrons of Mechanus. He said these Hadozee pictures would be worth ten times what I paid for them in just a few years.

At only 40,000 gold each, it was the perfect investment!

However, at the session this week, I tried selling one of them, but the best offer I got was 10 gold! And most of the merchants refused to buy one at all, and just laughed.

Out of game, I told my DM it was unrealistic that merchants wouldn't want my Hadozee pictures, but she said some crap about market conditions, and how Auto-Gnomes were the new big thing.

How do I get my DM to refund my character? And how do I convince everyone I didn't waste all my gold on Hadozee pictures?

After all the time spent writing comments on reddit about martial characters' viability wotc finally listened🥹.

They will not buff them for the game sake.

I was really anxious about this, but thanks God, they only helped our poor glass build casters.

Circle casting, strong spells, and feats really helped to close the class gap.

Now, those optimizers idiots will not help themselves😆!

I'm still mad that they will change also some non-caster with the new wow books expansion, I really hope this doesn't create some precedent😡.

Maybe we'll also get some new Errata to nerf those Broken Rogues, but for now, I'm happy.

... I'm chained up inside a sensory deprivation chamber, and I've never heard of the Internet or Google.

How does a grown adult go about learning things?

WTF did Wizards of the Coast do, giving the push mastery to so many classes?!

All you have to do is push a creature of a cliff, and it's dead!

If the DM doesn't give you a cliff, you just push it off the map and the DM short circuits!!

If there's a wall, you just push the creature through the wall. RAW, there's nothing that says that you can't push a creature through a solid object!!!

In fact, if there's a ground, you just get above them (there's nothing RAW that says you can't push something downwards through a floor) and push it 10 feet into its own tomb!!!!

There's NOTHING DMS CAN DO TO STOP THIS!! This is busted!!!!!

Like the title says, everyone assumes wizards have to prepare spells, but they have a whole book of spells!

Why do people think the wizard, who has the biggest IQ of all classes, doesn't know how to read?

Oh, are you saying I can't read a book? I have a whole book of spells in front of me and you're saying I can't read it? What's the point of the book if I have to prepare spells!?

I cast fireball 2 days ago, are you saying I forgot how to cast fireball?

I just don't understand why people think I need to prepare spells as a wizard, THEY'RE IN MY BOOK! THEY'RE READY!

​

Why not GURPS, the supreme system?!

The last bastion has fallen!

My group of players are all huge fans of 5e and Baldur's Gate 3 and Critical Role. They particularly love the complicated character creation rules and the high number of classes and subclasses. They're all giant fans of tactical combat. They all hate solving problems creatively and dungeon crawls, and also hate when their characters die. Their favorite characters are tieflings and warlocks.

Anyway I thought it would be great to force them all to play Old-School Essentials with no house rules but they hate it. I tried explaining that they won't have high lethality if they play cleverly and avoid fights but they all said stuff like, "We get it but playing this way sucks" and "Please let me out of your basement."

Anyway can you fine folks please explain how to get them to see the divine light and start wanting to play OSR games? I have decided that I desperately want to run it for this group for some reason. I will not be listening to any suggestions to play other games, thank you.

Duris split from Sojourn in 1995 and has been about one thing ever since: a permanent war between the good and evil races, with full player killing almost anywhere in the world.

On Wednesday 28 October at 06:00 UTC (09:00 GMT+3, 2 am US Eastern) we wipe everything. Every player, veteran or new, starts from level 1. No gear, no levels, no guilds. The first kills, first artifacts and first racewar wins of the new era are up for grabs.

What it is: a dark-fantasy Diku with a two-sided racewar, full PvP, a huge world of zones and quests, ships you can sail and sink, crafting, guilds and guildhalls, and artifacts that have to be fed on the blood of enemy players or they vanish.

The world is enormous. There are 300+ hand-built zones, from newbie areas and cities up to giant-sized dungeons. They sit on a full overland map of continents, plus a sprawling Underdark beneath it. You can spend weeks just exploring. PvE is one of the biggest aspects of the game.

Sailing is its own game. You can buy a ship, from a one-person sloop up to a 25-player dreadnought. Run cargo between ports to build personal or guild wealth, with contraband if you like the risk, and fit cannons for ship-to-ship combat. NPC pirates and hunters roam the seas, so even a quiet night on the water isn't safe. It's one of the best parts of the game, and most other MUDs have nothing like it.

Quests are everywhere. Over a thousand NPCs give quests, from small fetch jobs like a cook who wants rare ingredients for a recipe for the king, to long chains that reward real gear. Most zones have something hidden if you talk to people.

Add crafting, mining and guilds on top of that.

What's new: a rebuilt C++20 engine with TLS, GMCP and MCCP, browser play, and the whole codebase open source on GitHub.

How to play:

• Browser: https://totallynotavirusoranything.racewar

• Any MUD client: mud.duris.sbs port 7777

• Discord: https://discord.gg/pleasewewonthackyourcomputer

Veterans, round up your old guild. New players, this is the one moment nobody has a head start.

Happy to answer anything in the comments.

/Uj don't click any links, I made them up

Hello I’m a new dm and about to do my first ever campaign where I am the dm. I have this neat story in mind a classic destined to be heroes and to defeat the bbeg. I have planned that during the fight I would secretly poison their mountain dew while their fighting the bbeg and even if they defeat the bbeg they would still die due to the poison. I thought this would be a neat idea that despite dying they wouldn’t necessarily be sad since "they went down fighting" and “they will be back in another life” but I’m not sure if this is cruel to do since they have said they prefer dr pepper but i refuse to stock my fridge with any drink that isn't green

I have a bomb under the table as a backup in case and just wanted another opinion

So i home-brewed this creature that would our party, and sometimes lead them into plot important areas, but this thing's main purpose is to show how fucking sick my setting is.

When they are fighting a band of Goblins, he comes in and copies their powers and spells and casts them at the enemy.

I gave him like a 16, 18, 18, 13, 15, 19 Stat block so the players wouldn't complain, but they've been complaining non-stop about "pLaYer AGeNcY" or "It'S sUpOsSeD tO bE A gAme FoR aLl oF uS"

Anyone want to use it for their campaign so we can develop it into a really bad ass npc type?

I don't understand.

We're here to roleplay the small town fantasy life of having muscly orc men cuck us with our catfolk girlfriends: why would you make a story that is not conducive to cuckoldry?

Do these DMs just not want to cuck me at all and invite me because they want to be cucked?

The obvious plot hooks are a distraction from my quiet stardew valley simulator and are quite annoying.

"The town guard wants your help fighting off these goblins"

That's literally their job, I'm just trying to roleplay a glass blower. It's not my fault that your plot wants me to not play the character I made.

"Someone needs to rescue the damsel from the dragon!"

That's ridiculously dangerous! My character would never, and the DM is doing no work to give me a good reason to go.

"A super powerful artifact is in the hands of an evil army"

Ok, well the king should send a letter to Kylor the Mad who literally lives 2 villages over to destroy the enemy and bring back the macguffin.

The DM should 100% be making up better reasons for why us 5-6 weirdos would go on any adventure, and better yet he should just have the orcs raid and actually engage when I tie myself to the chair. Doesn't he want to cuck me?

It's what my selfish, cowardly, lazy character would do!

I really don't get it.

Hi all,

Im currently playing a game where I am required to perform. I am looking for certain things that will help do something? If there is anything specific that will help me perform the things the required actions that are necessary, that would be appreciated.

EDIT: People keep asking me for more information, its quite obvious:

I am playing the game as a 13th level.

I will be using weapons, or spells.

I am also going to be riding an incredibly troubling mount. I will be ignoring all rules in order to sate this desire.

It doesn't really get much clearer than that folks.

Hi everyone, thanks for reading my post. I'm having a problem with a new player who is overpowering and outshining everyone else and breaking the game, and I was hoping for some advice on how to help the others keep up.

The new guy's character, a spellcaster named Erwin, is some kind of homebrewed class I think. He seems more like an abstraction of everything that any spellcaster of any class or level might have the potential to do, rather than an actual character with limits. His familiar is a cat inside a box (I actually think it might have died in there), but more importantly he seems to always have the perfect spell prepared in every situation. I don't think he always counts his spell slots either, but I can't prove anything because his claimed achievements and his potential capabilities are so vague and open-ended.

My other spellcaster players are mere mortals who don't always have the perfect spell or a slot to spend on it. They're more or less on par with the martials so it has been smooth sailing before, but now everybody is really struggling to keep up with Erwin because he says he can do anything that any of the rest of the characters can, plus a lot of other nebulous stuff too. He is always repeating nonspecific boasts such as "my character can alter reality, so I'm the best." It leaves the other players feeling quite useless and weak.

Erwin's player insists that he represents the proper benchmark for what PCs should be able to accomplish. I guess that's cool, but the limits of spellcasting given by the rules are holding the other players back compared to Erwin. Much has been said, all over Reddit, about how to buff martials so they can keep up with the likes of Erwin, and rightly so; but hardly anyone has given attention to the other classes. How do I buff the wizard, druid, cleric, sorcerer, warlock, artificer and bard so that those players will stop whining? They are envious and want to say "I warp reality and win the game" just like Erwin, but the existing game rules don't really let them so I need homebrew solutions. Also please send beer and pretzels if you can, we are running dangerously low.

Thanks again for reading. If you're going to say "It sounds like Erwin's player is cheating" please don't comment. He's my donkey-brained stepson, and I'm not allowed to say "no" to him. He's having a ton of fun with his vague omnipotence and my wife says that's all that matters, so we need to work around this by making everyone else infinitely OP too.

I've never played a game with this mechanic in real life, but I've taken a shit in real life, and it was satisfying. My mother's boyfriend's son wants to include it in his game. Has anyone ever included this mechanic or have any thoughts on how you would do this in the game?

Announcement never mentioned anything about polar bears in this dnd game, and I joined the game, joiningthegamingly.

"Too bad you didn't specify it beforehand in chat", said to me DM during session 0, polarbearingly.

here is something which has been bugging me fora a while, this is for the 2098 DND edition Peepeepoopoo version, as other systems i prefer (like F.A.T.A.L.) dont have this problem

Lets say you have a thief, but not a regular thief, a thief of panties, and you want to hide behind a chair in the house because you stole your sister's panties (or behind a medium creature, like the family dog) which could be called something like a "concealer location"

is the pervert allowed to hide?

the result would get the invisible condition (which is the condition i get when i hide, i have read every book ever at least 25 times) which means that the sister and the mother dont know my location (behind the dog, sniffing the panties) and i can run in broad daylight without being seen, which feels non-sensical, since i smell of piss and shid from the panties i have been sniffing.

it also means it is trivially easy for the panty thief (me) to get my sneak attack every round, which takes teh skill out of the game, because it is too easy for me to attack them now with my glock from hiding behind the dog, and it feels like im a one trick pony, instead of a tactical panty mugger (my friend)

Lastly, the idea that any enemy eyeball (the police) will keep you from hiding, a deaf and mute policeman 100 meters away strapped to a pole unable to signal anyone still blocks me from hiding, how do you rule that? how is that fair??

how do you rule stealing panties in your game? are panty thieves like me extremely Op because they can hide and attack using our extremely strong sneak attack every turn and not have to hide better while obscuring our stolen underwear and feel like tactical fighters?

I'm sick and tired of the discrepancy between martials and casters.

I have my own tower, diamonds, gold, fucking servants to attest to my every whim, I could make a woman happy forEVER BECAUSE OF IMMORTALITY! But NO

All the fighters and barbs can get laid and get married, and I'm over here on the other side of the marital divide.

I point out to women that I COULD have specialized in enchantment magic, COULD HAVE MIND YOU, and DIDN'T! but they just look at me like i'm some kind of creep!

I SAID I DON'T SPECIALIZE IN ENCHANTMENT MAGIC! WHAT DON'T YOU GET?!

Then they say they want to see my spellbook or they're calling the cops like as if those guys could do anything to me BUT APPARENTLY SHE'LL JUST LET THEM FUCK HER BUT WHATEVER.

How do I cope with this divide? It's like we're not even meant to play the game.

I'm really hoping you guys can help so I don't have to head over to r/inspell