I just had a baby a few months back, and moved home because of the baby. My friend from high school is currently 4 months pregnant with a baby of the same gender.
I’m financially more well-off, and she’s lost her job before she found out she was pregnant and her husband makes just enough for the both of them. I truly feel for her and told her I’m happy to set some items aside for her baby later, as we don’t plan on having anymore.
So I love spoiling my baby with nice items once in a while - we purchased a hand-smocked outfit from a local artisan to celebrate baby’s 6 months; and my goal is to keep it for them as memory, maybe even something they can hand down to their own children in the future. Other than that my baby uses well … normal children clothing.
My friend recently came over, and she’s still only 4 months in so I haven’t set aside much for her other than some brand new nursing bras, underwear, body oil, and belly band that were gifts and didn’t fit quite right (underwear not tried on). For baby, I’ve already set aside most of the newborn clothing; most of which were used at most twice, and some completely brand new because I gave birth to a much larger baby than expected.
But then, she started pointing at things and calling dibs on things that she wanted as hand-me-downs. This includes the bathtub (okay), footed pyjamas (okay), bouncer (okay), breastpump (huh?), crib (huh?), and some of the custom outfits we had made.
I told her we’ll get to that, but some items are off limits. Some have sentimental value and other items I likely will still use when her baby arrives.
Now she’s telling me I’m being very very picky choosy and only wanted to hand her down really ugly old clothing as if she’s Goodwill. Had a whole crying session about being poor and me making her feel like she should only get “cheap shit” (honey the baby clothes I got and handing down to her were from burt’s bees baby, seed, and peter alexander they’re not luxury but they weren’t cheap)
Now I’m tempted to actually just donate all of it to someone else who would actually be happy and not choosing beggars about it.
Edit: I texted her to say I will choose what she gets and she’s not a happy camper. I called her a polite version of a choosing beggar, so I’m not the bigger person. I decided to drop off my stuff to a women’s shelter and a local health center (they welcome underaged mothers and support them so they take baby items).