Just for some context, I (19f) have not experienced penetrative sex before.

I can have an orgasm through clitoral stimulation and i absolutely love it. I have tried multiple times to enjoy fingering myself, but having an orgasm aside, i can't even enjoy the sensation.

It just feels like im touching my insides and i have seen a lot of women here complain about this in here.

I don't expect to have an orgasm through fingering, but just feels like im missing out by not enjoying it. It just feels like nothing before it starts to hurt.

And no, curling fingers doesnt do shit for me either. Is this a lost cause?

I think I cured my 4 year long primary anorgasmia with the satisfyer pro penguin. I believe I had a singular orgasm two weeks ago but ever since I’ve never experienced it again. It wasn’t very ‘earth shattering’ but I genuinely felt like I was floating for a couple of seconds and my hand didn’t jerk away involuntarily. I used the higher settings to orgasm without squirting. Ever since then, I keep on squirting solely from clitoral stimulation on the higher settings of my toy but idk why I can’t get to have an orgasm again. My towels keep getting soaked for nothing. idk what to do. Someone please help 😭

If I stimulate the ‘top part’ of my clit with my toy, I squirt so I try and lower the toy to avoid it. But I think my hips keep on moving so my toy ends up higher then I accidentally squirt. Mind you, prior to buying this toy I had never squirted in my life idk why my body keeps doing this shit instead of orgasming. I really want to get that floaty feeling again :(( I’m frustrated since I finally got to see what I was missing out on 💔

I’ve never orgasmed with my own hands and am completely reliant on my current toy. Sometimes I get really horny and want to masturbate every day of the week but like my clit is now ’perpetually swollen’. It doesn’t hurt but I have to take breaks from masturbating even when I really want to because my clit just becomes numb. Like I’ll have the satisfyer on a medium setting and literally feel nothing. Do air pulse toys do this to other people or…? I normally only use it for 30 mins at a time sporadically (in the morning, in the evening sometimes and before bed)

25F I get really frustrated sometimes with the fact I can’t orgasm. I have an extremely high sex drive but have never had an orgasm. It basically feels like I’m perpetually edging. Some days it doesn’t bother me, other days I just feel so frustrated and defeated by my body and brain. I’m slowly getting off a medication and lowering the dose has helped some but it’s still frustrating

Im 26F and I never had a orgasm. If someone can give me advices or techniques for reach the orgasm, I will be grateful 🙏

i've been trying for an hour to cum by rubbing myself but the most i felt was mild pleasure. sometimes its just uncomfortable to touch myself down there and i can't keep my mind in the right headspace for it. i can never focus on porn.

i don't know what to change... i can't afford a toy right now. i've been able to cum by fingering with a full bladder and pressing down on my gspot, but i want to explore my clitoris more. idk if i'm not sensitive enough or putting enough pressure on it or what.. i don't even know what to do because mostly it doesn't feel like much.

i just want to feel the same pleasure as other women, so much so that they get like addicted to it. does anyone have any tips?? i've had 1 really good orgasm and it lasted for so long.. i want to experience that but with my clit.

at the very least, what do other people do?

any help is appreciated

I've never really been able to finish from penetration alone. Like I enjoy sex a lot but getting there takes some extra work for me and I don't even know why. So I've been seeing this new guy and tbh the sex is really good. The only problem is that every time I'm getting super close, he ends up finishing before me and I just fake it because I don't want him to feel bad or think he's doing something wrong. One night I even asked him to use his fingers too and I swear I was literally guiding his hand to the exact spot that felt good but somehow he kept missing it... I was getting so frustrated but didn't know how to say anything without making it awkward. Anyway yesterday we were having sex again and I decided I wasn't going to just pretend this time. So while he was inside me I grabbed my WhisperBullet and kept it against my clit and OMG. For the first time in forever I finished before he did. And the best part was he didn't stop immediately either. I was still shaking a little and he kept going until he finished too. The whole thing just felt so much better because I wasn't lying there pretending I'd gotten mine.

But I'm wondering if there's a way for me to finish from penetration alone or if I'm just overthinking it lol. Does anyone else struggle to finish from penetration even when the sex itself feels amazing? Are there any positions or little tricks that helped you?

So when I cum with a vibrator by myself, I have pelvic contractions and it’s very obvious ive orgasmed.

When I’m with my partner, I don’t have strong involuntary muscles contractions but I get tingles in my legs and intense waves of pleasure and then after we’re done my vagina feels like it has a heartbeat, but not the same as the obvious muscle contractions I get with masturbation. The pleasure is 10x better with my partner than masturbating, but it’s so different it has me questioning…

Am I still coming with my partner? I’d like to think I am, but idk if anyone else relates to orgasms feeling vastly different depending on how you get them?

as stated above, I cannot finish without a vibrator and I cry every couple months when I try to do it. I look at videos of women with larger clits, and I cry because I feel I will never experience what that’s like. I have never been able to cum with my own hands. I have never succeeded in fingering myself. Neither has any man even if it feels good sometimes(including oral) it just doesn’t go anywhere and I can only cum from my vibrator on on the highest setting. Ive read that over usage of a vibrator can desensitize it but I’ve also read that it’s a myth. Even though I stop and I try with my hands, I can’t finish so what is the alternative for me? I’ve gone a couple months without it. I still couldn’t finish , cried and had to get a vibrator again. What do I do? I’m so tired. It makes me really sad.
I’m still pretty young under 25 and don’t want to accept this as my fate

For more context, I first started masturbating when I was 17 could not figure it out for the life of me. I looked up videos, read articles and still did not enjoy it so I had to get a vibrator when I turned 18. I’m 23 and still in the same predicament so I don’t know if that information helps anyone but yeah.
I’m so envious when woman would tell me oh they hump pillows or they squeeze their legs together or the shower head I feel like I missed out on so many things that young women experience. I just feel so weird. I tried everything nothing makes me finish only a vibrator on the highest setting

I (21f) have never been able to orgasm no matter what I try. I’ve definitely gotten close a couple times, but it takes forever to the point where i get bored and just stop. Long story short, I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety for a long time and my depression has seemed to reach a peak, to the point where i’m finally trying to get professional help. I have a doctors appointment at the end of the month and am considering antidepressants because I genuinely feel like i have no other option. If i already cant orgasm without being on an SSRI, is my chance of being able to in the future going to become pretty much 0?

Hey, I, '21F' , was just wondering how exactly would orgasm feel like.. I can't distinguish it yet..

I was a virgin up until my 20, bfr which I never enjoyed myself as well.. clit is the only thing that gives me the hype nd after a point it hurts nd I asked chatgpt of it nd it said the nerve ending due to constant friction nd stuff... I donno how to do it then.. I wanna achieve the peak so bad.. I'd like to know if I can squirt.. I've been tryna understand through porn but I genuinely felt it ain't reality.. it even showed legs starting to shiver..I'm here, open to a discussion

Fyi, my partner, '21M' , nd I are both beginners when it comes to sex, and we’re figuring things out together..

I (F20) am having trouble masturbating. I normally use a pillow and grind on it while watching videos, but I'm looking for better ways to do it, as it's not as good anymore. I'm a virgin but have done some other stuff with my boyfriend (M20), like fingering and him eating me out (which has felt good but hasn't led to an actual orgasm, as far as I'm aware). Currently, we are long-distance, so there's not much he can do to help me out. I'm open to just about anything, I just want to feel satisfied!

I don’t know if anyone else is like this, but when I’m having some solo time, I usually need something to help me get in the mood first.

I used to try porn, but honestly it never really worked for me. Maybe I’m just way too picky lol, but if I don’t like the guy’s face, body, or even his voice, I lose interest almost immediately.

Eventually I tried googling self-pleasure audio instead, and it worked way better for me. I only really need to find a voice I’m into, and then I can just let my imagination do the rest.

That’s pretty much what I use now. I usually find a collection or a few audios that really fit what I like and keep going back to them, though every once in a while I start craving a new voice or a different vibe.

Just curious if anyone else here is more into audio than visual stuff too?

Soooo… rarely if ever have I ever orgasmed without a vibrator (38F). I’ve tried OMing. Ive tried no vibrator for awhile. I’ve tried all kinds of things. It’s not my hormones or anything like that. And I have this kegel thing called perifit that I also use. I have always been this way. Would love best ideas/examples on what has worked or what to try.

It’s not the end of the world or anything if I don’t figure it out. I’d just like to have to not need a vibrator if I want to orgasm and don’t have one handy. Like sometimes I get really turned on but then I can’t go all of the way without help and it leaves me incredibly horny.

hi

i just found this community and feel so seen already but i’m overwhelmed with all the content and hoping for some guidance or support on where i can start?

as the title states, i have a super low sex drive, ive been on SSRIs for 14 years, and ive never orgasmed. i want this experience and even struggle with feeling like a woman because i haven’t had it.

i also have endometriosis, dysautonomia, depression, and anxiety (not sure if any of that is relevant, but maybe so i’ll include it!). i had PTSD from SA starting when i was a kid but proud to say through lots of hard work in therapy that is now in remission :)

the only thing that really gets me close is a super powerful wand or fingering from my boyfriend. other than that, i don’t usually even feel close.

where to start? amy advice is super appreciated.

Explanation of the title: the process of getting horny, wet, and for my vagina to “open up” in preparation for penetration is a totally completely separate process from orgasm generation . Literally, it’s two separate activities entirely that don’t influence each other in the slightest. If i have an orgasm, it doesn’t mean I am wet or prepared in the slightest for sex, and vise versa

I think my issue is anatomical and physiological. Anatomy because I orgasm from clitoral stimulation, and my clit is just too high up to receive stimulation from the things I do that make me horny and wet lower down. There is an inch or more of difference in the placement.
Physiologically the movements required to make orgasm happen are not remotely sexual. It is these circular movements of a highly specific pressure that I can do on my own, with hands or a toy, and I can teach a partner to do it too. But it’s a movement that is essentially impossible to make in sex. It’s impossible for me to orgasm spontaneously, I have to make it happen manually.

Internal orgasm is almost impossible for me to generate in any context. The few times it happened, it was from masturbation with a hard object specifically angled to find that spot and put a lot of pressure on it. This is an impossible pressure to create from sex
I think my clitoris (both outside and inside) is small, and sexual activity just doesn’t hit those spots at all.

If you have any ideas or just like to share, maybe you agree that your anatomy/physiology is the same.

I’m 35f, straight and had never had an orgasm, ever, not even a little bit lol. saw 2 different sex therapists 8 years apart (one told me maybe he’s not the one and the other asked ‘but have you nearly orgasmed before’?? Like how tf would I know?!) I’ve had several partners, tried masturbating with fingers, did absolutely nothing, wand vibrators which also didn’t help at the time. I really felt nothing pleasurable from the clitoris/externally. Therefore led to no desire to masturbate. Not that into porn or have any specifics which turn me on (makes me feel very boring lol). I found sex really enjoyable and have been able to squirt, unknowingly. Squirting doesn’t have any pleasurable feeling for me, up until recently I didn’t even know when it’d happen (ie couldn’t feel it happen, would only know because of the wetness). The last few times I’ve been able to feel it, a warm feeling inside, like a warm waterfall? My ex made me think my clit was fused or something lol so I had thought that’s why I couldn’t feel anything from outside.

Anyway the thought of having a fused clit scared me and I decided I wanted to learn more and do something about this. I learned about anatomy and found this thread. Hallelujah. I bought several toys and did lots of reading. I especially found it helpful reading about others experience, and what it feels like for each person when they orgasmed, positions, tensing (this was new as all id ever heard in the past was ‘just relax’ 🙄) game changer. I got a script for cbd oil. <edited to add cbd oil is taken orally>

It probably took a month of trying different things until i got the right combination. I’d try a few nights a week, a couple hours each time. The Womanizer was a step up as I finally felt something from stimulating my clit. Cbd oil was the tipping point. Then the rose (cheap one from Amazon). I worked out if I used a wand vibrator inserted and the rose that this was the receipe for me. I also like edging and relied on this a lot in the beginning.

I find laying on my back, knees bent with feet resting near my butt, tensing my stomach (and legs at first but I don’t have to do that anymore) really pushing my back down flat on the bed to tense abs and breath work, holding my breath, is the position I have to be in. Using the 2 toys and taking cbd I would tense my vagina/ Keegels but really try to focus on the feeling at the vagina opening, there would be this little tickle that builds up. The build up for me is like a sneeze. The first time I felt it I knew this was it. I would squeeze and count each squeeze like a rep at the gym until it built up enough that I’d go over the edge. I remember the first time of feeling the vagina contractions, I finally did it. That’s one of my favourite parts, the contractions, not that they are pleasurable, but being able to feel something new and it being the defining part of an orgasm. Going over the edge is also very similar to the feeling after you sneeze haha like an ‘ahh’ and a bit of a cooling feeling? So hard put into words. It doesn’t last for long either, varies from 5-15sec? It’s still very centralised, I spasm little bits here and there leading up to it, and during but I don’t get full body feeling yet. I don’t seem to have a limit with how many times I can orgasm in a row, I also don’t get much of an after affect like a lot of people talk about. It’s only in the last week Ive noticed a heavy feeling, like a weighted blanked on top of me and just feeling overall relaxed/sleepy.

It’s been about 4 months now and I really only use the rose on its own because I’m trying to reduce stimulus in hopes to orgasm during sex/piv. New partner is excellent, really patient. We have been using the rose with him laying next to me, so I am used to doing it with him in the room. We’ve tried a few times during sex but I can’t get there yet. I don’t really enjoy oral as I need the vibrator to get the build up. So any tips on being able to get there during sex while using vibrator would be great. Because I rely on the tensing pelvic floor (95% of the time I have to squeeze to increase the build up to orgasm), I can’t do it, or can’t feel the tensing when he is inside. I don’t know how to work around this, strengthen pelvic floor? I’ve thought of edging a few times before sex and then trying that way? I also still take a long time to orgasm with him in the room. By myself I can orgasm within 2min, I even tested myself one night and got to 17 orgasms in less than 30min. With him laying next to me, it takes maybe 10min to orgasm once (used to take closer to an hour!). If I have too many drinks I can’t get there, and I still struggle with staying present mentally and not letting my mind wander.

Anyway, that is my journey, thank you if you read all the way to the end. If I can work it out, so can you 💪🏼 you can do it! We got this.

Im 21 F and ngl, im kinda upset i didnt lose my virginity yet-maybe it would have been easier?? Even my gyno was confused when i told her ( went for an examination cuz my period wasnt regular but whatever, thats not the point; it's an important detail tho)

Thanks to my examination, i discovered my uterus is positioned backwards - i think it's called retroverse???? Im not sure...

Context:[ if u dont wanna read all of this, skip to ✨️]

Either way. Both me and my 21 y o BF are virgins, as in we didnt have penetrative sex- other types yes. The thing is that i have never fingered myself- i sure tried but didnt want to do anything with it after 1 or 2 tries when i was single.

However, i am faced with the need to do it like so- he is girthy. And long...

His fingers are pretty wide. As in, my hands are normal, and my thumb si as big as his pinky. But his penis is 3 fingers of his, maybe even bigger a bit. Whenever we tried finding condoms that fit him, there were none available in the pharmacy or supermarkets, he had to order online.

Even my gyno recommended we start with fingers and work our way to penetration.

✨️ this is important:

We first tried while i was on my back- it HURT LIKE HELL. Even after foreplay. And another day we tried again and again and nope, still horrible.

Then i took into account my uterus position and he did it while we were spooning- worked great! He could slid one finger in and out after a while very smoothly and i couldnt feel him. But when he tried to go deeper..... nah... ( he could only go 7/8 cm deep before it started hurting again). And this was one finger only, never two, let alone three....

Maybe my legs didnt sit right? Maybe im wierd? Maybe he doesnt know the technique??

Im willing to try so if yall have any tips and tricks it would be amazing... he is very patient and understanding but neither i or him know what to do anymore...

I want to experience the pleasure my boyfriend gets, I love pleasing him, but it also makes me sad bc ik I'll never feel the intensity that he does, at certain times it can feel nice or intense, but ik it will still never be the same between us. I just want to feel what a man feels. I don't want this body I live in, and I can never shake that feeling.

For a long time, I treated solo time almost like a test I had to pass. I felt a lot of quiet guilt around having sexual needs in the first place, and I put weird pressure on myself to reach an end goal quickly just to get it over with.

Things shifted for me when I stopped overthinking and bought my first Tracy's Dog suction toy. Taking the physical effort out of it made a huge difference. Having a reliable, easy orgasm on my own terms helped me realize that wanting pleasure is completely normal, not something to feel embarrassed about or treat like a chore. Once that pressure was gone, it became a lot easier to just enjoy the sensation instead of worrying about how things were supposed to go.

If you have gone through a similar shift, what helped you finally drop the pressure or guilt around pleasure?

The concept sounds amazing. Internal and external, all at once. But the reality is, most "rabbit" style toys are designed for a "standard" body that doesn't actually exist. Everyone's anatomy is so different. The result is either the external part lines up and the internal part hits nothing, or the internal part feels right and the external "ears" are pointing somewhere completely useless. You end up twisting into weird positions just to make it work, and it's more exhausting than relaxing. The experience is terrible. So the problem isn't the idea of dual stimulation, it's whether the design actually considers individual bodies. We've been ranting about this over at r/TracysDog and discussing what kind of designs actually fit properly. If a feature doesn't work for 90% of people, it shouldn't be a selling point.

I (30F) just got married to my husband (32M) five months ago. Until we got married I was a virgin. Never watched porn or masturbated. Now that we’re married we have an active sex life but I’ve never gotten to the point of orgasm. My husband finishes off every time but I’m starting to feel like just a participant who does what he wants. I’m starting to get envious because he feels so relaxed after sex while I feel nothing. Any advice on what to do to learn my body better and spice up my sex life?

P.S we are both Christians and I don’t want to watch porn for the fear of getting addicted and at the same time I want to first understand what gives me pleasure before I introduce toys. My husband is willing to explore with me but it feels like I have to tell him what to do but I don’t know what gives me pleasure. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

Okay. I've been trying and struggling to have an orgasm through masturbation for a while now, it took me some time to figure out what works for my body. I had a few of those contractions and that felt good, but my body still wanted more, so I held the vibrator.. And my body kept trying to physically repel away, like it was physically repulsed and didn't want this. I tried to ignore it, I assumed this was just.. part of it, the 'squirming' people talk about, but then it got WORSE. My body realized it couldn't repel away from it, and I got this awful horrifying feeling.. The only way I can describe it is rapey..

That's definitely not normal, right? There's no way this is the feeling people want, is it..? I've been so confused about my sexuality and if I might be on the asexual spectrum with the way my body was so unreactive until my experimenting lately.. I just.. I really need to know. I only got into this curiosity spiral because I felt like I couldn't know if I liked/wanted sex/orgasms or not until I experienced it, but this felt honestly scary..

I just. I know this sub is for people who are figuring it out, for people giving advice on getting orgasms, so, I figured this was a good place to go to know what's normal and what I'm supposed to feel.. because this felt bad.. and, well, orgasms are usually described as feeling good, to some even the best feeling ever, but this wasn't.. at all..

i am a 19 year old who’s never finished - i only fairly recently actually tried to orgasm (past 3-4 months) and have been close on numerous occasions, but every single time i get close it really overwhelms me. i don’t like the feeling, often tense up, and i think about how bad i feel when being close so never finish. i really want to get there because i feel like im missing out but im unsure what to do.