Hi all, first time poster. I am at my wit’s end with my daughter, who has never liked brushing her teeth from day one. She’s now 5 and we have this issue every single say and is wearing me down.

She was preemie baby and I was told at the time by my OB that she runs the higher risk of being autistic because of it, and I’m also neurodivergent but here in the UK it takes years for diagnosis, so I don’t know if this is autism or if she just hates brushing teeth.

We have tried everything over the years: different flavour toothpaste, different types of brushes, different tooth brushing games, rewards charts, stickers. We’re now having to move into punishment territory (no story before bed etc) if she doesn’t do it and is breaking my heart. Growing up neurodiverse with parents who treated me like a bad child/problem child and treated my issues like character flaws, I don’t want to do this to her. But what more can I try?

Please help, any advice would be hugely appreciated!

Hey lovely people!

I’m not sure if this is the right place to post but I’m dating an amazing woman with a daughter who has autism and GDD (she’s 6)

I’ve only met her daughter a handful of times and she’s quite standoff-ish with me (which is understandable)

I’m trying to be as supportive as I can and I’m reading some books and doing courses so I can understand better. I’m just looking for some advice in what I can do to support them both. If people have experiences, anything at all. I think it’ll take time for her to warm up to me but I’m just looking for experiences to know if it just takes time? I also just want to care for them both the best I can over the years so any advice is welcomed :)

My birthday was yesterday. My 3.5yo daughter is autistic with a PDA profile, and she absolutely hates birthdays. For the last two years, we haven’t celebrated them in a traditional way at all because it just isn’t worth the meltdowns.

I have always loved birthdays. Since I was a little kid, I made handmade gifts for my family, and as an adult, I’ve always planned my friends' and family’s birthdays. I just love making people feel special on their day.

This year, my mom FaceTimed me to wish me a happy birthday. My daughter was there, and she cried maybe four times just during that short call. Later, my best friend who lives in Europe called. To be honest, I actually canceled the call the first time because I just didn’t want to deal with any more tears. I felt guilty and called her back, we only get to FaceTime maybe three times a year because of the time difference, and she was so excited to chat. But as soon as she wished me a happy birthday, my daughter started crying again, and cried a few more times while we talked.

Today I got a small cake. After dinner, my husband put a candle on it, and my daughter blew it out after screaming “no singing!” (We haven’t sang happy birthday in years). I told her we weren't singing, but we were celebrating my birthday. She just said "no," and "let’s eat cake."

Now she’s sleeping and I’m just crying. I'm not crying because I expected some big, perfect celebration. I'm crying because those phone calls with my mom and my best friend should have been fun moments. I'm grieving because autism has robbed us of so many of the little things that make life happy.

Because of her PDA profile, she tends to be negative about everything, nothing is ever enough. It's just hard. Sorry for the long post, I just wanted to vent to people who might understand.

I really don't know where to go, so I'm here on Reddit to vent about this awful experience we had today.

We were kicked out of a gym today.

My autistic child is 8. He has a heart of gold and he desperately wants to get along with friends. He's competitive and if you tell him he needs to win a race, he will run as fast as he can even if he's exhausted.

We went this gym class. It was his second day. It's for kids but they pride themselves on "training athletes". I always thought it seemed like a pretentious place but some very sweet friends invited my son to try it with them. He liked it the first day.

It's loud and the kids are running and pushing metal carts and so forth. There is a bit of light competition. My child is one of the smallest and is also not the most coordinated. Anyway, today he kept crying when he couldn't keep up in a certain exercises.

He was upset that the other kids might think he was slowing them down. It wasn't the case. The kids were sweet but he did break down crying about three different times. The gym owners basically refunded our class payment and said they couldn't have someone in their class doing that. They had to look out for their other members. Their neurotypical members.

I do understand in some ways. The class was a lot for him. I don't think we would have continued to do it again anyway. It's just the cold, callous way they handled it.

His behavior is certainly confounding many times to even me but these people didn't give a rats ass that he is autistic. They basically looked at me like I was making excuses for him.

The essential problem for him was not being able to process that it was not a major competition. That it didn't matter. He was trying his best. He is as determined as a bull. He just physically couldn't do it as fast as most kids and he was so embarrassed.

The owners of the gym were about as compassionate as starving crocodiles. It was an opportunity for me to teach my son to let go of people who are going to be like that to us. I think his little heart is still hurt but I hope it's a bit stronger.

My autistic level three son with significant communication issues notice me talking to ChatGPT and realize that it would talk back with the voice feature. I added this to his tablet and what I am witnessing and only in hours time is absolutely remarkable. Two-way conversation, question asking, interest, excitement, inquiry… This is absolutely a win. He is talking away!!! has anyone tried this?

Do any other families have a similar situation to mine. It’s been 1 year since my son dropped all his safe foods which included, eggs, pizza, chicken nuggets, French fries, ice cream and goldfish. The only thing that he has been taking is Pediasure which is prescribed by his pediatrician 4 times daily. He is turning 5 next month and I’m beginning to feel hopeless. I tried re-introducing his old safe foods and new foods and he is so grossed out by food in general. We tried feeding therapy but the closest one to us is two hours away so it is very difficult to take him on a weekly basis. Any advice is so much appreciated!!!

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My daughter is 5, non-verbal, and has ARFID. A couple of weeks ago she caught RSV, stopped drinking and ended up in hospital on IV fluids for a few nights.

She's home now and drinking well (lots of apple juice, plenty of wet nappies), and she's taking her fruit pouches again. But she hasn't eaten any of her safe foods in over a week. She has stopped asking for them and pushes them away when we offer them. Our best guess is that eating hurt when her throat was sore, and now she's wary of food in general.

Her paed isn't worried yet. They said RSV can hang around for 3 to 4 weeks, and she's hydrated and getting her pouches. She's still coughing. We're offering her safe foods with no pressure and leaving them near her, but nothing so far.

Has anyone had their kid lose safe foods after an illness? Did they come back on their own, and how long did it take? Anything that helped, especially with a non-verbal child, would be really appreciated. Honestly, I'm just scared she won't go back to eating.

I know how head strong she is and its super scary.

I’m looking for advice I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing but but me and my fiancé are about at the end of our relationship I feel we are just roommates at this point and I know we should probably just separate but my son, I feel needs me and I need him but he also needs his mother and it just breaks my heart so much if I couldn’t see him everyday , I just don’t know what to do , I would sacrifice my happiness just to see him everyday , any advice would be appreciated

Hi friends !

My son has level 3 autism and is non verbal. He turned 3 this past June. I would like to TRY and introduce potty training. Any advice or tips ? Thank you in advance!

My son is 2.5 years old. He speaks in 2–3 word sentences and is understanding more and more. However, his behavior is really overwhelming me. He has frequent tantrums and refuses to do almost everything.

But my biggest concern is his eating behavior. He eats the foods he likes without any problems, but when it comes to vegetables, fruit, and now even bread and warm meals, he will only eat if I distract him with videos and feed him myself.

It takes up so much time and is really exhausting. Of course, I’ve tried simply putting the food in front of him and letting him eat on his own, but he would rather go hungry than eat.

What I really want to know is: should I stop using videos completely and only offer him his safe foods, or should I continue using videos while feeding him slightly healthier foods? I’d really appreciate hearing from parents who have already been through this and can share their experiences.

One thing I forgot to mention is that, for example, he refuses to eat blueberries. However, if he is distracted by the TV and I put one in his mouth, he realizes that they actually taste pretty good and then wants more. But the next day, he will refuse them again. This happens with almost all foods.

Did things get better for your children? Do you have any tips for me?

I honestly hate having to make a post like this, but I don’t know what else to do. We have absolutely nothing left in our pantry or fridge, and I am asking for advice.

I’m a single mom with two boys one who is autistic. I do work, but between rent this month and last month, my entire paycheck has gone toward keeping a roof over our heads. I simply have nothing left over for groceries right now.

I have applied for benefits, but I was denied because of my income. I’ve also tried food banks, but unfortunately I haven’t been able to receive enough food to get us through. Right now, we have nothing for dinner, and we barely had anything to eat today. My son on the spectrum is having a meltdown because I have none of his safe foods. I’m not asking for anything beyond advice. Anyone have any suggestions on other resources to reach out to? I’m doing everything I can to work and provide for my kids .

He keeps making himself throw up and locking himself out of my room. Whenever he doesnt get in my room or i need my own space, he throws up right outside my door. I think he's distress but I cant always let him in my toom. I have a door knob that locks differently from other doors so i think that can play a role too but whenever hes in my room, he runs out the door and lock himself out so many times and throws up afterwards but he understand how my door works.

Hi everyone!

I’m looking for some advice from fellow autism parents regarding brushing teeth and using toothpaste.

My son is 6 years old allows me to brush his teeth using an electric toothbrush. Sometimes, he even brushes his teeth himself, which is a positive step for us!

However, we haven’t introduced toothpaste yet because he doesn’t know how to spit it out or rinse his mouth with water afterward.

I’ve been thinking about trying an edible or swallow-safe toothpaste, but I’m unsure which product would be suitable for him.

I’d love to hear from parents who have been in a similar situation:

Have you used edible or swallow-safe toothpaste for your autistic children?

Which brand or type would you recommend?

Is it okay to start using toothpaste even if a child cannot spit or rinse yet?

How did you teach your child to spit out toothpaste and rinse their mouth?

Are there any tips to make this transition easier for a child with sensory or communication difficulties?

I want to maintain his dental health while helping him gradually learn this skill without making toothbrushing stressful for him.

Any suggestions or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

I just needed to get this out…

TLDR: (Too Long Didn’t Read aka short version) - it seems to be time for meds for my almost 9 year old son. I knew this day would come and 3rd grade was likely going to be when but still having feels and want to share.

… below is full version

First I will say every teacher he has had there has been amazing. The 9/10-10/10 school ratings online are well deserved. In kindergarten he was spinning in the back of the room, they checked in and ensured he had still followed along… 2nd grade his teacher added having him help explain the math to other students because he was proficient and excited to help….

They could not have done a better job accommodating and encouraging him. I never once even had to ask. It was an email of “here is struggle, we have X work around, he is doing great”

Yesterday, in our call his teacher in a nice way explained how they reached the end of those accommodations being sufficient. She did so very nicely. She is great, we really appreciate her. She obviously didn’t bring up meds but it was the clear next step

We are in no way surprised, we saw it. Also understand that 3rd grade is a big year and very different from K-2….

My son has a child psychologist which we see to maintain a relationship with because I knew this was coming. I made the appointment Tuesday after the email- on the 26th we will go and he will get his first script for ADHD meds…

I think I feel guilty …. Clearly this neurodivergence is genetic - at least I hope because the alternative is I’m just screwing all of this up…. My daughter is in ECSE. Clear attention problems which exacerbate her language development to the point where we still are “minimally verbal” which is a huge step from our “nonverbal” classification from a year ago….Unsure what kindergarten environment will work for her or what the future is … and my son is starting ADHD meds in 3rd grade… (I started in 4th grade…)

have I screwed all of this up? I’m thinking I failed them.

My son is 3.5 , level 2 .

What are your sleeping schedules looking like ?

At this age did they go through a Change or something?

My son is suddenly refusing Nap time and waking up at 5:30-6 in the mornings and it's gonna kill me I'm telling you.

Should I drop naps ? Make bedtime later?

So my 14y old was recently diagnosed with autism so now we have 2 autistic kiddos in the house. I always knew he was different but I didn’t know what specifically and he’s always struggled in social situations and interactions with peers.

Today he just broke down crying because he doesn’t feel like his friends like him and that they just tolerate him. He’s doing a ridiculous amount of masking and hiding his personality apparently to avoid being completely ostracized but still feels like an outsider.

I don’t know how to help him other than encouraging him to be his full self when he starts high school next year and he will find his people that way but that doesn’t help his current feelings of isolation and loneliness. Some of the heartbreaking phrases he said tonight:

- I don’t want to be the weird kid
- I just want to be noticed
- I’m not trying to be annoying i just want to talk about things I’m interested in too without being seen as wired
- I just want them to choose me first for once
- I don’t want to be an afterthought
- I feel selfish for wanting more from my friends (the more being a text/call on his birthday and getting his locker decorated for his birthday like everyone else)

I just don’t know how to help him with this. I feel like growing up I got lucky to find my friends and I’ve had the 3 of them for over 20 years now. I just want him to have that. The school he’s at only has 25 kids in the entire 8th grade class so changing friend groups isn’t really an option unfortunately.

I also want to have a conversation with the parents 😡🤬 but that’s just the mama bear talking.

Hi all,

I woke up this morning so afraid. My daughter and her husband are having another baby and want to move closer to me to 'be around family'. They already have a 15 month old child. The issue is that my daughter was diagnosed at at 18 as autistic (back then, called high-functioning) and she doesn't believe her diagnosis. She just thinks that everyone is a 'little different' and that nobody should be put in a box. True, but she cannot manage her life as an independent adult. She needs massive down time, gets over stimulated easily, has social issues that make her so direct and brutally 'honest' that few people like her, and so on. She is enrolled in an online graduate program, taking one class at a time, and does not work. Her husband works remotely and basically caregives both her and the child, in my opinion. They keep taking on more than they can handle (they have several pets as well) and I am not physically well. I already have a husband who is in his 70's and has cognitive decline and I am trying to keep working a demanding job so we keep good health insurance. If she lives near to me, I fear that I will become a full-time caregiver to her and her kids and that feels like way too much for me. She will call me multiple times a day, even though I am at work, and I feel like if I am not there for her immediately, she has a melt-down. She loves her child, very much, but I am not sure how this will go as that child ages and another one is added. I am just venting here, but would be interested in hearing from other (older) parents of adults who are not NT.

My son (4yo) was diagnosed with level 1 autism two months ago. Due to the timing, he had already started preK at a private program through our church. Per his teacher, he is doing better than before with meltdowns, transitions and feeling overwhelmed. He has also made 2 friends. Before, when he was having a hard time, it was difficult for her to give him the attention he needed because she has other kids but the school overall was being as accommodating as possible. For example, if the teacher couldn’t be with him, then other teachers or admin would step in.

We finally finished the IEP process and learned that we can only use the IEP for the public preK program and my son would be placed in a special program for autistic children (there are also other NT kids in his class called Peer Pals). He qualified for speech therapy as well as socioemotional support so he would receive that in class. The class would also have 2 additional teachers aides for when he needs 1:1 support.

Meanwhile, my son has already started at a program that has ABA, ST and OT. He’s enjoying it very much and we believe that it has contributed to his improvement in his current program.

My husband and I need to pick between - keeping him in his private program where he has shown improvement and made friends, but won’t have 1:1 support for when/if he has hard times or extra speech therapy. OR put him in this new program with more support/extra ST and hope he enjoys it and makes friends as well. He would continue his ABA/ST/OT in the afternoons.

What would you guys choose?

Hello,

My son is 4.5 yrs old and has ADHD. He has ongoing therapies going on for Speech and OT. We are expected to relocate to Bay area by Jan 2027. I would like to know which are the best school for him that would support him.

Also getting started with new therapy might need re-evaluation of skills which would take much time. In order to avoid break in his therapies, I am thinking to go for private sessions till then. Any recommendations for good speech and OT in bay area, especially near San Jose and around Fremont. I am immensely stressed on how he will adapt to new school and if they would accept him. He does sit in class, but just started talking. He can communicate basic needs like water and food.

Any personal experiences are appreciated and would help to plan better.

Thank you

Bonjour

Je suis papa d'un garçon autiste de 9 ans. Cela fait 2 mois qu'il a des crises de pleure, hurlement. Il peut pleurer a haute voix pendant ses heures matin comme nuit.

Il s'est créé des personnages imaginaires dans sa tête. Ça lui créé de l'anxiété et il commence a pleurer a haute voix. Très fort. Il bouche constamment ses oreilles avec ses deux mains. Il ne va pas bien he le sait.

C'est très pénible pour nous ses parents et pour lui

Le médecin nous a prescrit la clonidine et ATOMOXETINE mais pour le moment il y a pas d'effet. Ses personnages imaginaires , ses pleures, ses hurlements sont toujours présente. Il me va plus a l'école a cause de tout ça . Sans solution ma femme pense même que la maison serait hanté et qu'il voit ce que nous ne voyons pas.

Dès qu'il prononce ces mots AOIO ou È(lettre). Les hurlements commence, il court dans toute la maison, inconsolable.

Qui a vécu quelque choses d'un peu similaire. Je veux juste avoir une piste de solution.

Merci

My daughter is turning 4 next week and her psychiatrist and psychologist (they work as a team) want to complete cognitive testing for her as soon as possible so we can measure progress over time. She’s heavily speech delayed and doesn’t interact much with other people unless she’s comfortable. Is there a point in doing cognitive testing right now?? She probably wouldn’t interact much with psychologist. Or maybe they want to establish a baseline for now and conduct another testing in couple years to see how she has progressed?? I’ll be talking with her psychiatrist tomorrow to get more information. Please let me know your opinion based on your experience.

My kid is 5 years old and is on the spectrum for Autism. He has a habit of waking up every night between 2 AM and 3 AM to drink water.

Some Context: He was born at the lower end of the weight percentile, so we always gave him milk to drink at least 1-2 times at night. He made this into a routine/habit and kept wanting milk, and even if we tried cutting out the habit, he would cry for hours together. If we kept the milk in a bottle ready, he would wake up, drink, and fall back asleep quickly. It was like his soothing mechanism more than hunger.

Finally, when he was 3 years old, we managed to cut this habit, and he has replaced this soothing mechanism with water. We didn't think of it much initially, but now we are finding it hard to cut out the water as well. Drinking water makes him pee a lot and wet the diapers he uses at night. He is potty trained during the day, but this will make it much harder to get rid of his nighttime diapers because of this habit.

I also observed a pattern: every night he goes to bed between 8:30 and 9:00 PM, and his sleep is pretty good for the first 4-6 hours. He wakes up between 2:00 AM and 3:00 AM and asks for water. Then again, around 4:00 AM - 5:00 AM for water again.
We don't want to give him melatonin, as I fear it will create a dependency, and his neurologist suggested slow-release melatonin gummies, which didn't help him stay asleep either.

Has anyone seen such behavior or something similar?

We want some help getting him to sleep through the night and are wondering whether any magnesium supplements have helped people here.