Are we supposed to get upset? Respond like you would at work - neutral, solution oriented, detached? I just don’t always know the appropriate affect for this.

Do the teachers just want us to perform disappointment when our lives are disappointment? Do they get how hard this is, how sad it is?

Yup, my kid is an ass. Yup, let’s get that functional behavioral plan revised. Yup I wish to anything my kid was normal.

I dunno, help? How do you deal?

I need some advice about my 28-month-old daughter, who was diagnosed with autism at age 2. We’ve been having a lot of challenges with her behavior at daycare. She rarely follows directions, doesn’t sit for lunch or group activities, and spends most of her time walking around.
She’s receiving early intervention services, but honestly, I haven’t seen much improvement so far. I’m now considering being more consistent and firm about having her sit at the table during meals and activities. She has no problem sitting on the floor while playing with a toy.
She’s a smart little girl with many words and phrases, but she’s nowhere near being conversational. She shows little interest in other children and prefers playing independently and talking to herself.
For parents who have dealt with similar challenges, how did you establish consistent sitting routines at home for mealtimes and activities? I’ve tried many different strategies, but nothing seems to work. I’d really appreciate hearing what worked for your child.

My recently-turned seven-year-old son has had an autism diagnosis for about a year -- we knew before then, but schools would repeatedly tell us he was "fine" except for an aide. His pediatrician diagnosed him with ADHD, however I believe that is primarily sensory seeking/PDA behavior (doctors appts. stress him out and essentially bring out the "worst" (jumping, yelling, running etc.), but I digress. Both his school & private neuropsych exam noted that his ability to complete cognitive assessments affected scores and said scores were likely NOT accurate, I agree completely. It seems that a lot of the professionals working with him are attributing his inability to complete these tasks to attention, when I know it is largely comprehension (due to language processing difficulties) and his ability to respond to questions/the stress caused by demands. At home we have much better success than is reflected in his at-school-work. He does very well with sight words, he can spell/recognize/does understand the meaning. but if you were to ask him the "meaning" he mostly would not be able to, despite recognizing the object or concept. So we are dealing with a major language delay, as well as his difficulty with demands at school. In OT they were working on skills he is quite capable of -- he is very physically independent, gets his own food, can make a sandwich, (he does put his shoes on the wrong feet no matter what). We seem to have this issue across the board -- testing is absolutely not reflective of his ability -- and I am not sure how to communicate to the school staff that he does understand more than they think - but also understands less at the same time. He understands what one object and another object is two objects, and can write 1+1 = 2, but I don't know if he is fully connecting the two. I know I'm ranting just looking for insight as to what sort of IEP academic adjustments some people may have made for children with similar circumstances. I'm sure you all understand I could go on and on describing his behavior -- trying to be succinct so his support team can get a good picture!

My son has constipation and withholding issues and consequently soils his underwear constantly. This past week we’ve been struggling with getting him cleaned out, and he just won’t go unless we give him an enema. In my research I happened across the MOP method, and I’m wondering if anyone has used it. I have questions.

1. Is it safe to give daily enemas like that?
   
2. Does it set the child up to only be able to poop with an enema?
   
3. Does it actually work?

Any feedback is welcome!

Decided to commit and start potty training our 4 year old level 2 autistic boy. It’s week 2 and I knew it wouldn’t come easy but we made the decision simply because we were going through a lot of diapers. He was asking for a change every time he peed. We figured he probably felt very uncomfortable after every pee, just the warm wet feeling. I thought maybe we had an advantage but no not at all. He pees and has gone poo in his undies and each time he seems confused? Like he doesn’t understand that we don’t go in them. With the diapers he would tell us when he has gone. He is non verbal but his vocabulary has grown. He’s capable of telling us when he wants to eat, when he needs more of something. When he wants to watch a movie. Things like that. I’ve done research and I just know he is most definitely a gestalt language processor. And I recently learned about pathological demand avoidance. Which when looking it up, he checks off everything on that list. A lot of it just made sense. I don’t mean to go off topic but I just thought I’d give some more info to better understand what we’re going through here. He was in ABA for a little for a year until unfortunately his BT could no longer work with our schedule. But in that time they strongly believe that he has enough vocabulary that they don’t think he needs a AAC device, his mom and I also felt that giving him one he’d completely rely on it and not want to talk himself. But hey maybe we’re wrong and maybe we should, i figured maybe a speech therapist could help decide this for us. But anyways, potty training has been stressful, again only 2 weeks in. I just wonder what it is that we can do to help him understand, to help him tell us when he thinks he needs to go. Even when we can see he might need to, he immediately just says “no no no no” when watching movies we have to make sure to pause them or else he gets very upset.

What do you take from this ? Thank you.
I asked what she felt when writing it, but she just said she don’t know.

—

Was that a life?

Once we ran free out on green fields under the sun and birds in the sky, we were a big wild herd of 20 horses 19 mares and me the leader stalion and I had always been free and knew nothing else than freedom. But it wasnt going to stay like that for me, once I walked into a trap and a bunch of humans caught me. When I had been with them for 14 days I longed for my freedom and the only thing I could think about was my herd. I was going to be broken in but didnt want to, my life was ruined I couldnt excape I couldnt eat I couldnt drink I couldnt do anything, I new that it was death that had come to me. Now I was a quiet tame horse of 23 years old. I was worn out and old. I was bought by a little girl who looked after me well but even though she was a paradise for any other horse, I wasnt happy there was no life left in me. One evening I made a dificult desision for my owner and for myself, I wanted to die. But my heart was strong I couldnt die. My owner who could understand me because I was getting thinner and wouldnt eat. She took me to the vet, the vets desision was the same as mine. Sadly I could faintly and sadly hear him say to my owner that I became light and relaxed but also nervus. Suddenly I saw a big syringe there! I get scared!…… My little owner kissed me on the forehead and said now your pains are over, there was alot I could say but it was forgotten. I felt a little prick I became tired and weak for every minut my head became heavy and the last thing I saw was my girl, I looked at her and my eyes said I love you and may everyone in your life show you great loyelty.

Now I sit and am happy with the heaven horses and you have got a new horse that you have become just as fond of. Now I am truly happy() () () ()

Hi lovely parents!

I've come looking for advice regarding my son. He's almost six years old, AuDHD and PDA profile. We don't do levels here, but I think he'd be a level 1. His biggest struggles are emotional regulation and his rigidity. His need for autonomy is extreme, but he's also a very sweet, funny and intelligent little boy.

He started using the toilet to pee around four years old and that hasn't really been an issue. He will not use it to go number two. We've tried everything. All the rewards you can imagine - endless supplies of candy, Legos and toys if he poops in the toilet. He said he was ready to stop using diapers and 5 and when his birthday rolled around he pushed it to 6. Poop-time is clearly associated with a lot of shame for him because he hides.Hes starting school next fall and we really need him to be able to use the toilet before then. We've tried asking him why he won't use it and he struggles to put it into words, but we think he's afraid. He'll say he's scared that it'll hurt or that his butt is scared. He even did it recently (at kindergarten) and was so proud, and we all celebrated, but the next day he changed his mind. Anyone experience something similar?

Hi, looking for your help in this jungle.

What vitamins, supplements etc do you give your kids and for what? Does it help?

Please share your experience- i am a bit overwhelmed. Thank you!

My child is 6,5 yo, he attended preschool (including preparatory class), and now he is repeating the preparatory class in mainstream school. Since he started school a month and half ago, he keeps having bigger reactions, insulting us, the kids and the teachers when he is mad, behaving inappropriately (walking on all fours, pulling kids' clothes) and hitting.

I am completely lost. Today, a kid came up while I was waiting to pick him up and told me he hit another child in front of 5 other parents and other kids, his mom reprimanded him, I said no problem, the teacher willtell me. My kid later came, realised he had forgotten to change shoes, I sent him back, and he managed to get in fist-fight with older kids. The kids all go to changing where they change shoes and leave jackets. My kid somehow slapped an older girl, her brother jumped on him, and then they came. The mom yelled at my son and me, and threatened to go to the principal. I asked what happened and made him apologise. He lied to me and said they threw his helmet to the floor and then admitted he didn't know what happened, that he slapped her face because he was mad and he didn't know why.

I feel some bad for him, other kids and parents, and myself. I am afraid someone will beat the ** out of him and hurt him bad or incur long term damage (the boy and girl were much older and bigger, girl was 9ish and the boy 10-11ish, when they cane the boy and my son were in a clinch and the boy was slamming my son against a glass wall and regular wall).

What do I do here?

This is really long but please- no judgment here. I am just gram trying to be a support to three individuals the best I can- but slowly burning out

This child is so complex and really seems to be a sprinkle of everything in her genetically or other issues too. Thank God she starts psychiatric evaluation for children soon to figure her out. She’s being evaluated for Tourette’s, autism, and PANDAS related behaviors so far.

She has a mom who’s bio polar, a dad on the spectrum with Tourette’s and was born with larynxgomalatia which is still causing issues with swallowing chewed foods. She has selective foods likes which change constantly due to what I think is also related to the pandas possibility. But maybe not-maybe just the autism possibility. This is limiting her intake of foods and nutrients and obviously contributing to nutrient deficiencies it would seem. We find our way around that but it’s far from stress free.

I bought all new nice clothes for her for school this year that she loved . She wore most once and that was it! Now she doesn’t like them. She picked out her back pack to go with K-pop clothes she chose and 3 weeks into school those were for babies. I and we can’t figure out what is possible autism , a mood disorder, maybe pandas related, or something else.

I literally have nearly emptied her drawers from clothes that she picked but refuses to wear. She now has limited items in bland colors with no bright colors or pink or purple. If there is even a speck of pink or purple she refuses to wear the item- even her new sneakers that we brought for school that had a tiny speck of pink near the aislet -nope!

It’s so frustrating and I don’t want to make it about me but how to get through this with her is the challenge.

Now my other frustration 🙄 , is she constantly wants “play things” and never plays with them after. Yes, we limit the kids you tube now because of that all it. Everything she does for a new fun activity is a week long obsession then poof! It’s not fun anymore. Uhg!! She started playing with her jumper a couple of weeks ago and was getting really good- she could only go backwards though-autism?? But then not interested anymore. Even clothes- she loves something and will promise to wear it and the next thing you know she hates it even better she wears it sometimes.
Literally all she likes for the moment are squishies which she is overly obsessed with. But that doesn’t stop her from asking for other toys that would just be opened and left.Then there are school needs like outer sweatshirts backpacks and water bottles which are like the clothing issue- here today won’t use them tomorrow.

For parents of children with sensory needs, suspected autism, or big emotions, what are you doing for childcare?
My son is 3.5 years old and has been enrolled at his current daycare for just under a year. He has been in three different classrooms during that time. He has not received a formal autism diagnosis, but he has gone through Early On and was found to meet school criteria for autism. We are currently on the waitlist for an evaluation through our local hospital.
Over the last month, we’ve started receiving increasingly concerning reports from his current classroom about hitting, biting, kicking, screaming, and struggling to participate or interact appropriately with staff and other children. The difficult part is that we don’t see these behaviors at home. He absolutely has big feelings, but they don’t typically escalate to this level.
We spoke with the daycare director, who initially acknowledged that some typical three-year-old behaviors, such as pushing or struggling to share, may have been blown out of proportion. A more detailed daily communication form was introduced to help us better understand what was happening.
Since then, however, we’ve been receiving multiple messages a day describing increasingly severe behaviors, with staff expressing concerns about the safety of other children. Even minor or potentially accidental incidents sometimes seem to be framed as intentional or malicious. We’re struggling to understand what is actually happening and how to help when we aren’t there to observe it ourselves.
We want to be clear that we are not excusing his behavior or dismissing the concerns. If he is hurting others, we absolutely want to address it. We’ve offered suggestions like visual schedules, picture supports, and strategies for helping him regulate his emotions, but we haven’t felt very receptive responses from his teacher.
He is moving into a smaller classroom next week with fewer children, one teacher, and hopefully a more individualized approach. We’re hopeful this will help, but we’re also feeling exhausted and increasingly worried that he’s been labeled the “bad kid” rather than a child who may need a different kind of support.
It feels like a difficult gap exists between typical daycare settings and the more specialized programs that may require a formal diagnosis or specific eligibility criteria. I worry that the current situation is unfair to my son, who may not have the tools to communicate or regulate himself in the way staff expect, and to the teachers, who may not have the training or resources to support children with different needs.
For those of you who have been in a similar situation, what are you doing for childcare? Are there daycares that specialize in children with sensory needs, suspected autism, speech delays, or big emotions, even without a formal diagnosis? Have you found inclusive centers or other options that provide more individualized support?
We’re trying to find an environment where our son can be supported appropriately while keeping everyone safe, and we honestly aren’t sure where to turn next.

Anyone else dealing with a shady school system? Like my son just started school 17 days ago! I've been lied to my son said someone called him a feral child he's been calling himself a failure he said someone pulled his hair I've asked his teacher questions and mind you at a 17 days I have 25 pages worth of class dojo messages from her about behavior just about everything. Soon as I started asking some questions that are concerning me she responds no and then she starts telling me that throughout the day he's been lying all day and she had to tell him that that's not good so he's been here for over 2 weeks you spoke to me earlier about his day never mentioned anything about my son lying now all the sudden he's labeled as a liar? He's in a self-contained classroom and I think he's the only verbal child he's very high functioning it's more just getting acclimated to school and just behavioral stuff. He's definitely having a hard time. I'm asking for a modified school day on top of that because a lot of his issues start at 12:00 and forward. Disrobing he's eloped six times he almost swallowed a nail throwing things just having just fight or flight issues frequently and it's always after 12:00. Refuses to eat or drink he is already skinny and we've been dealing with his weight forever. So finally I said something to the caseworker about modified school day and the only thing she could come up with was transferring him to another school a big school way across town where I cannot get to him in an emergency where it's surrounded by woods God forbid he eat gloped with a bigger class with one teacher with kids that would just bad behavior. And that I found out a bcba didn't evaluation on him without my consent or knowledge again thank you for class dojo because I downloaded every message and every shady thing that's happening because his teacher slip ups! Isn't her talking about a new class so then they did a predetermination which is illegal. All in 17 days and just because I asked for a modified school day and then on top of that his teachers on some shady shit! The teacher aid that my son absolutely adores that's very calm and he is getting an intense bond with her she's able to deescalate him now I have no access to her own ClassDojo either I don't know why. Everything is weird I'm not feeling safe I'm trying so hard not to lose my shit!! We have an IEP meeting next week but thank God I have ADHD so now they have to give me everything we're going to talk about at the meeting 48 hours prior so if says anything about transferring him to another school​ before we ever had the chance to have a meeting to exhaust other options that's absolutely predetermination. Also the correct child study team members are not all there were invited to this meeting so again that is ilegal. I feel so sad for my son I feel sad for everything it was so nerve-wracking and exciting and starting school and now everything's like a f****** nightmare

Hi everyone!

I’m looking for some advice from fellow autism parents regarding brushing teeth and using toothpaste.

My son is 6 years old allows me to brush his teeth using an electric toothbrush. Sometimes, he even brushes his teeth himself, which is a positive step for us!

However, we haven’t introduced toothpaste yet because he doesn’t know how to spit it out or rinse his mouth with water afterward.

I’ve been thinking about trying an edible or swallow-safe toothpaste, but I’m unsure which product would be suitable for him.

I’d love to hear from parents who have been in a similar situation:

Have you used edible or swallow-safe toothpaste for your autistic children?

Which brand or type would you recommend?

Is it okay to start using toothpaste even if a child cannot spit or rinse yet?

How did you teach your child to spit out toothpaste and rinse their mouth?

Are there any tips to make this transition easier for a child with sensory or communication difficulties?

I want to maintain his dental health while helping him gradually learn this skill without making toothbrushing stressful for him.

Any suggestions or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

Don’t know if need advice or just to put it out in the universe but here we go. Newly 7 year old daughter (not sure of level at this point, was dx’ed as level 3 at age 2 but is now verbal, cooperative, fairly social, in general Ed classroom, etc) had another student pull her pants down at recess. I’m glad she was wearing a dress and am now going to send her in those all the time :( Principal and teacher messaged me and her bio father on the app to let us know. Daughter hasn’t been upset about it but I am so sad and anxious over this. She loves school and I want to keep that going. We requested a meeting but haven’t heard back. My boyfriend said it’s a kids being kids thing and if she’s not upset then not to stress. Her bio father (who admittedly sucks and spends less than 10 hours/month with her) is extremely upset and I know he’s going to come in swinging (verbally). He sucks as a dad but is a total pitbull when angry, which I’m honestly grateful for since I’m not the most aggressive person and sometimes that is needed. I’m just so, so depressed and afraid for her future. I gave her a shitty dad, and now it’s on me 100% even if my parents and boyfriend are helpful and supportive. Thanks for reading and any thoughts/suggestions you might share.

My almost 2.5 old son is a trouble maker at daycare ignoring all the instructions as the teacher says does only what he wants when he wants throws toys at kids, does not participate in group activities only wants to run in the class consistently, I should mention I was shocked when I heard this as he is not like this at home or I have not noticed to this extent they were telling me they think he needs an assessment also he has always been language delayed like he is constantly improving but behind his peers

I honestly hate having to make a post like this, but I don’t know what else to do. We have absolutely nothing left in our pantry or fridge, and I am asking for advice.

I’m a single mom with two boys one who is autistic. I do work, but between rent this month and last month, my entire paycheck has gone toward keeping a roof over our heads. I simply have nothing left over for groceries right now.

I have applied for benefits, but I was denied because of my income. I’ve also tried food banks, but unfortunately I haven’t been able to receive enough food to get us through. Right now, we have nothing for dinner, and we barely had anything to eat today. My son on the spectrum is having a meltdown because I have none of his safe foods. I’m not asking for anything beyond advice. Anyone have any suggestions on other resources to reach out to? I’m doing everything I can to work and provide for my kids .

I have a 4 year old boy with severe autism. He’s smart and understands a lot but is nonverbal, lacks all social skills, and has severe oral sensory aversion to the point where he only drinks pediasure for nutrition. As in, he’d be tube fed if he didn’t willingly drink it.

He was 2 at his first dental appointment, which I know is late, but we were afraid of how it would go since its nothing but things in his mouth and he can’t even having pudding in his mouth without retching. But I finally found a place that said they specialize in autistic kids and made an appointment.

It went horribly. We were in a room of about 8 chairs all crammed about a foot apart from each other, and other kids were getting work done which was very loud and scared him right from the jump. The assistants were kind and tried to get him to open his mouth, but he wouldn’t budge. Which I figured would happen. Then the dentist came in. She had a thick accent, which wouldn’t normally be a big deal, but it was coupled with very little communication. She didn’t seem to grasp that my son genuinely could not follow her instructions and acted like it was a behavior thing. She was surprised when he refused to open his mouth.

In the end, they made me lay in the chair and pin him down with my legs and arms while they forced his mouth open. But he fought so hard that they couldn’t even get a bite block in, and he bit the dentist hard enough to make her bleed and rush from the room.

We got referred to a place where they put kids under for exams. We went, and they looked at him and cleaned his teeth, and it was great. But the dentist there said we shouldn’t come back unless he has cavities or something because they don’t like doing sedation just for cleanings. But there’s no way to see if he has cavities if he won’t open his mouth?

Anyway. Six months later, we went back to the first dentist for another cleaning. They made me hold him down again and tried to force their way into his mouth. The dentist, same lady, kept saying things like “time to start behaving! You need to listen to me.”

My son thrashed and screamed and eventually bit down on the mirror tool and shattered it inside his mouth. I think he got a cut on his lip but no other injuries thankfully.

That was six months ago, and they recently called to schedule his next appointment. I told them no. None of that felt right to me, but I don’t know what is right. What is a dentist appointment supposed to look like? I want to know what to look for in a practice so I don’t have to put my son through that again.

Took my daughter to the doctor tonight with her brother because she has been waking up in the middle of the night for the last 2 or 3 days now, which is unusual for her.. everything went to well, they said her throat looked a little red so they tested her for strep came back negative.. I noticed her pee was a little cloudy, so they gave me stuff to collect her pee to take to the lab tomorrow to test for uti, but other than cloudy pee she really doesn't have any symptoms of UTI, we were just checking o rule it out because her random unusual sleep patterns and uncontrollable meltdowns lately.... that's besides the point, when we left the doctors office my daughter started having a meltdown and darted across the street.. I immediately ran after her and reached her before she crossed and I slipped grabbing the back of her shirt, so she made it into the street.. luckily the car that was coming was paying attention, I feel so guilty about it.. We get across the street to the car, and my daughter lays in the parking lot, screaming, head banging, refusing to get in the car for probably 15 minutes. Luckily I had my mom with me so she took my son and put him in the car, where he is having a panic attack because of my daughter (he's lvl 2 autistic and is terrified of her trying to bite him/attack him when she has meltdowns) My mom secured my son in the car and came out to help me with my daughter and we finally get her in the car to get her home and she is absolutely losing it, no matter what I try to do or say or offer. We kept driving, I rode in the back seat doing all I know to calm her down, while my youngest is in the front passenger seat (to keep him safe from his sister).. nothing is working... we get home and we park, my mom takes my son inside immediately to calm him, and my daughter is LOSING HER MIND, laid down beside our street as cars are coming by. I'm struggling so hard trying to pick her up, drag her do anything to get her safely to the side walk, she's kicking me hitting me doing all the things. She is 95 pounds. When she is flailing and kicking and freaking out it makes it incredibly difficult to move her. I finally am able to muster up enough strength and adrenaline to at least get her on our sidewalk, where she is still flipping out and trying to head bang off the concrete. My mom finally comes out to help and I'm bawling my eyes out trying anything and everything I know how to do to just get this child inside the house. I'm also running on 3 hours give or take of sleep for the past two to three days (I've lost count) My mom takes over and tells me to go recollect myself, and I come back and we're finally able to get her in the house.. she's still in meltdown mode, screaming and crying but she came inside..

I'm a mess, truly I don't know what to do anymore, besides call her psychiatrist and ask for a different medication to try, and ask about crisis options if this situation ever occurs again. Had I have been by myself, who knows what would have happened and that hurts me to my core. I love her so much. She is only 8 and I hate even typing this but at what point should I draw the line and say that she needs to be admitted until her meds are adjusted, so that I can be able to have a relationship with my littlest son, and a better relationship with her?

Any advice helps. Sorry if this post is all over the place.. I'm panicking, sleep deprived and I feel like a horrible parent... 😓😓

After more than a year of severe, unpredictable, and sometimes violent meltdowns, and even transitioning my autistic son to a new school, I made the incredibly difficult decision to have him admitted for inpatient

My grandparents, who are apart of his care team are extremely upset and judgmental about my decision.

Unfortunately, they are also part of the problem when it comes to enforcing rules, boundaries, and structure with my son. They tend to enable certain behaviors, give in to avoid meltdowns, and undermine the consistency I’ve been trying so hard to establish at home.

I don’t think they fully understand how severe things have gotten or how exhausting and emotionally draining this past year has been. They seem to believe I’m punishing him or sending him away because I can’t handle him, when in reality, I’m trying to get him the help he needs before things get any worse.

This wasn’t an impulsive decision. I’ve tried different approaches, therapies, routines, and a new school placement, but the aggression and emotional dysregulation have continued. I love my son more than anything, and making this decision has absolutely devastated me.
Please tell me how it went when and if you did it

To all of you parents, I appreciate your love and dedication to your children.

I drive children to an “alternative” school that’s a few towns away. I have half autistic children half behaviorally challenged kids.

I have a monitor. We absolutely love our kids. We understand everyone has good days and bad days. We forgive it all. Tomorrow is a new day let’s try again. We play children’s songs on radio that kids request or that are about something we know your child enjoys.
We celebrate all the birthdays, holidays, good days and any other reason to get excited. We have noticed kids who are doing without, so we find a way to work that needed item into the rewards they received for good behavior on the bus.
We noticed when an older kid didn’t know how to read and got books his younger brother would be interested in and worked with him on the way to and from school every day to teach him how to read to his siblings to have something to be proud about.

But, one of my kids is biting us every day, he has hit the other kids because he can’t control his emotions, and as I unbuckled his harness he grabbed my head and punched me repeatedly. I now have a concussion.

Refusing to transport is the last thing I want to do for this student. He NEEDS to be in school. He needs help. But nothing is getting done. The bus company is doing nothing to offer suggestions or assistance on what to do. The school district offers no help or solutions on what to do.
The parent daily shows visible frustration and signs she can no longer handle his behavior.

Why do I feel like I’m the one who is being forced to be the bad guy when. I just want help for this kid.

Edit to add he is 14 so it’s not like it’s a little guy who did this. It is the thought that this could go on for another 8 years before he ages out of our district that’s scary.

That's all.

I can't be the only one!

My autistic son joke- hope this can give all the parents a moment of joy.

Hi all, first time poster. I am at my wit’s end with my daughter, who has never liked brushing her teeth from day one. She’s now 5 and we have this issue every single say and is wearing me down.

She was preemie baby and I was told at the time by my OB that she runs the higher risk of being autistic because of it, and I’m also neurodivergent but here in the UK it takes years for diagnosis, so I don’t know if this is autism or if she just hates brushing teeth.

We have tried everything over the years: different flavour toothpaste, different types of brushes, different tooth brushing games, rewards charts, stickers. We’re now having to move into punishment territory (no story before bed etc) if she doesn’t do it and is breaking my heart. Growing up neurodiverse with parents who treated me like a bad child/problem child and treated my issues like character flaws, I don’t want to do this to her. But what more can I try?

Please help, any advice would be hugely appreciated!