My toddler is a little over two now. We cosleep and they’re still breastfeeding. I’m currently in the process of night weaning them. The first couple of nights my toddler helped me put bandages over my nipples said goodnight to them and didn’t really fuss even when they woke up throughout the night looking for milk - I’d say boobies are sleeping and they’d fall back asleep. But tonight they were adamant and kept on balling their eyes out. I didn’t cave and then my husband suggested I leave the room. He was able to put our toddler to bed. I’m not fully done weaning but I thought I’d at least night wean them so that sleep gets better for all three of us.

My concern is my emotions through all of this. I feel like a robot. I’m a pretty rational person. I’ve learned to have to be strong throughout my life. I don’t cry too easily. When my toddler cries or falls down (and I know they’re safe) I don’t really freak out. I’m ultra composed. I love my toddler more than anything in the world. But sometimes I’m like… am I broken? Why don’t I cry easily? My husband is so emotional when it comes to our toddler - he can’t take it when our toddler is crying.

I brought this concern of mine up to my sister ages ago and she said it’s likely because I know when to be strong and that when my toddler falls or cries or whatever my brain knows it isn’t anything super serious so being composed is likely a better approach.

I’m not a complete robot. I am deeply empathetic and sensitive. I cry at the drop of a hat in movies whether it’s something happy or sad. When someone tells me good news I get tears in my eyes oit of happiness. Same if someone tells me something sad. I have felt the need to be strong because my whole life I’ve felt I’ve needed to carry my family through things.

But sometimes I just wonder why I’m not like other moms I’ve seen. Or other parents, including my husband. Why am I ok with seeing my toddler cry their eyes out asking for milk (while still giving them comfort and reassurance but not giving in)?

Am I broken?

My baby is 8 months and has discovered she can scream. Like a pterodactyl in a wood chipper. She’s screaming all day from wake up to bedtime. My husband and I are about ready to sell her.

Is there a way to discourage the screaming? All I have thought of is to just not react when she does it and then interact excitedly when she’s doing her normal volume babbles and such. Basically how we taught our dog to quit nuisance barking. Reinforce the behavior you want. Problem is she does it mostly when she’s playing independently and not seeking a reaction.

I don’t know that we can take much more without going bananas. I honestly wish we’d gone to more concerts when we were younger so our hearing wasn’t so great…

Hi everyone, I could really use some gentle advice or perspective from parents who have navigated daycare nap transitions with babies/young toddlers who are used to nursing to sleep/contact sleeping.

​My son is 12 months old and just started at an in-home daycare full-time about a month ago. Before that he was at home with me full time. While he’s doing okay with the social and play aspects during the day, daycare naps are an absolute struggle. He is consistently only sleeping about 10 minutes max in the crib.

​Here is our specific bottleneck:

Our provider is wonderful, but she runs an in-home setup by herself. When she gets him to sleep (usually by holding him), the second she tries to transfer him to the crib (I think she is trying this as soon as he gets drowsy/falls into a light sleep), he startles awake and refuses to go back down. Obviously, she can't spend an hour trapped holding him for every nap while managing the other kids.

​At home, our routine looks very different:

• ​We bed-share / contact nap / nurse to sleep.
• ​On nights following a bad daycare nap day, he is profoundly overtired, cranky, and essentially runs on fumes until bedtime. His sleep debt also just gets worse and worse as the week goes on.
• ​When I’ve tried putting him down "drowsy but awake" or using independent sleep techniques at home, he heavily protests and insists on nursing to sleep.
• I do not want to do CIO or sleep training. I love contact napping, nursing to sleep, etc. and it has mostly always worked well for us and our life and routine at home.

​My main questions:

1. ​How do we help a 12-month-old who is used to contact sleep bridge that gap into a daycare crib when the provider can't hold him the whole time?
2. ​How much should I worry about our home routine (nursing/contact sleep) interfering with his ability to nap at daycare, or can babies just compartmentalize "Mom does x at home vs. daycare providerdoes x for nap time"?

​Any tips, gentle strategies, or solidarity would be hugely appreciated. I hate seeing him so overtired!

I think what’s difficult for me is that all of the stuff in the wiki just seems like no no-brainer stuff. Be nice to your kid, touch your kid, play with your kid, don’t neglect your kid. Foster an attachment between parent and child.

It kind of just seems mostly like what you should just do in general for babies. Like I don’t understand what makes it any different from just bog standard parenting?

I think that would really help me understand what makes attachment parenting a specific thing with its own label and name is if somebody could give me some examples or “for instance“ of what one would do under say a traditional parenting style versus what you would do in that same scenario with an attachment style.

Actual practical real world examples a functional differences that make attachment parenting unique would help me understand what exactly is going on here.

My 12 month old never liked being in the car seat but over the months she started to tolerate longer and longer rights (from screaming right away to nie being okay in it for 40-60 minutes). We put off all the traveling because of this. I don't want to put mu comfort over hers. But also I don't want my anxiety to prevent her from having new experience. She never slept in the car seat. At home she falls asleep rocking and breastfeeding or with my husband in the carrier.

How should we try if she's able to sleep in the car seat without putting too much stress on her?

Did you have similar experience? When did your kid start (if ever) sleep in the car seat?

Hi!I am 2 weeks post partum with our 2nd and our 1st is almost 2.We have coslept since she was 11 weeks and have enjoyed it and we are also cosleeping with the newborn.
Our oldest has had mostly independent naps since 7mo and a stretch at bedtime by herself before coming to bed with us.The only problem is that she has needed a lot of support to sleep which we have been okay with but I want to start to get her to a point where she can fall asleep a little bit more independently.

It was a very long process to get her to nap by herself as a baby and with my second I can’t be nap trapped all day like I was wight my first as she is an active toddler now and frankly don’t want to be as I wasn’t able to take care of myself very well,I am all for carrier naps but I want to be a little more intentional about sleep with our second (without CIO sleep training)and I just don’t know where to start.I love cosleeping but I also want her to have an independent stretch at night and naps as going to bed early with my first majorly took a toll on my mental health because I barely spent time with my husband until she was 7mo.Obviously as a newborn and through different things going on they need a lot of support but what are some gentle ways I can support both of my babies sleep better as they get older?

Here I am, looking for some solidarity with this sleep, or lack there of, situation, again.
I posted a month or so ago encouraging the tired moms to give change a try when it comes to night weaning if it’s what they felt they needed to do. My baby handled it amazingly, and her sleep only got better and better- right until she turned one.

Suddenly, she wouldn’t accept rocking as a soothing method, and will only accept nursing. She wakes up right in the middle of the night, every night, and takes a very long time to fall back asleep, followed by a few more wakes. Will not accept being placed back in crib.

For context, she also JUST GOT her first tooth at 12 months and several seed to now be coming at once. I’m having a hard time being here for her (at least without moping) when it comes to how fragmented the second part of the night is, with how exhausting it is to be lying awake for what feels like hours.

Is it a schedule issue? Is it her rapid development? Teething? Is it ALL of it??

Looking for other 12-13 month stories and support, and words of encouragement.

I’m less worried about finding the “perfect” formula at this point and more worried about finding something my kid will take every day. For parents who’ve tried both gummies and chewables, which one actually worked better for a picky or texture-sensitive kid? My kiddo has ADHD and really doesnt eat her lunch we pack and dinner is a battle every night. Forget a balanced breakfast lol. I just need something she will actually take. reviews are literally all over the place on this.

My daughter is 15 months old, and for the last 5 or 6 months, she has had a strong preference for her dad.
When it started, I was on parental leave and spending the whole day with her. People used to tell me, "Don't worry, this is going to change once you're less available to her." But since July, I started working full-time again, and my husband is now on parental leave, making him her primary caregiver.
Instead of improving, the situation got worse. She is obsessed with her dad in general and constantly wants to be held by him. He is a great dad, has so much patience and never gets tired of playing with her. I get it, he is just fun. But now I'm even struggling to do bedtime because she just screams and cries for her dad.
I feel like a horrible mother because I work and she doesn't see me much. I feel like she isn't bonded to me anymore. Everyone keeps telling me "it's just a phase," but I am losing hope and starting to get really worried.
Even though I work, I try my best and do everything I can for her. I play, cuddle, kiss her, try to be present. The only time she seems interested in me is in the morning when I need to leave for work.
Has anyone been through this? Any advice on how to handle this and mend our dynamic?

I'm returning to work this week and I'm trying to figure out the best schedule.

My little one is 18 months old and goes to a really great daycare from 9ish to 330ish everyday. My husband is able to do drop off and pick up because he has a flexible schedule.

My options are:

Mon to thurs 7 to 5

Mon to fri 7 to 3

Mon to fri 9 to 5

Also I have a pretty decent commute (40ish mins)

I loved my 4 day work week before the babe but I'm not sure if that's too much time away from her day to day. I'm also not able to see her in the mornings if I start at 7 and I'm wondering if I should be prioritizing connection in the morning before daycare.

Any advice is appreciated!

I’m sure this question has been asked a million times in this forum but I am a FTM and this feels like an insurmountable challenge so please help! I have an 11mo old daughter who in 2 weeks will be mostly with her dad cause I will start working and he will start his parental leave (we live in Sweden so we both get generous leaves)

Our approach has always been prioritizing the sleep of the one that is working so my partner will start sleeping with her during the nights and I will temporarily move out to another room (we co-sleep which I would also love to stop doing soon but weaning comes first). That would be the ideal scenario and I am confident we will get there… somehow….

But currently she does only fall back asleep with the boob at night. She can wake up 1-6 times per night, depending on the period. Leaps/regressions/travel - more wake ups. Calm periods - 1/2 wake ups but those periods are short and rare. For bedtime she no longer needs the boob, we rock her.

I tried to wean a couple of months ago by postponing the weaning time and I found it so exhausting as she didn’t give in easily and both our sleeps were ruined for the night and I was wrecked the next morning (I have to admit I was not super determined though). And then she got sick shortly after and was sick for almost a month and then we traveled and been traveling since then (next week we’re back home).

First week of me being back to work I will need to travel and will be away for two nights so I guess if I try again before and fail, we will need to do it the hardcore way aka her and her dad will just need to figure it out.

And I know that has worked quite well for some families but I just want to give them both a bit of a softer landing and thinking if I should try “soft” weaning myself before as well if that is even possible…? What has worked for you and why, you think? I’m hoping that I will read something that might resonate with my daughter’s temperament. Or just reassure me that it will work/share words of wisdom 😄

Just feeling so confused by all the different approaches and honestly scared! Everything else in motherhood has felt quite manageable so far but this…. This is scary 😅

My 16 mo has a severe boob attachment. They are a highly sensitive baby but has started sleeping through the night, night weaned, and nursing very little throughout the day a month ago. Well I felt so relieved and excited to be past that chapter that I applied for and got a 20 hour week job. Well after 1 week of work my baby has reverted and gotten much worse. They are screaming all the time, buying, punching and waking every 2-3 hours for boob. I'm at my wits end as now I can't nap during the day because I'm working/cleaning/cooking to make up for lost time working. How do some moms work and tend to their babies?

I posted in cosleeping and it recommended posting here, which idk why I didn't think of in the first place 🤦🏼‍♀️

I’m looking for experiences or advice from other parents who have been through this because I’m really struggling with it emotionally.

I have a 19-month-old son and a 5-week-old daughter. I’m my son’s primary caregiver, and I spend the majority of my day with him. My husband is a wonderful, involved dad, and I genuinely love that my son has such a great relationship with him. I don’t want to take anything away from that. But lately, my son’s preference for his dad has been hurting me more than I expected.

At nap time, my son will sometimes scream for his dad, even when I’m the one putting him down. He’ll push me away, tell me “bye-bye,” and make it very clear that he wants Dad instead. If my husband is home, my son will run straight to him. He also gets extremely upset when my husband leaves the room or leaves him, whereas he’s usually perfectly fine when I leave.

The confusing part is that when my husband isn’t around, my son happily comes to me for comfort, affection, cuddles, and everything else. It’s mainly when we’re both available that he seems to choose Dad every time.
My husband recently returned from a weeklong work trip, and my son has seemed especially focused on him since then. My husband doesn’t typically do naps or bedtime, either, so I’m not sure why this preference has become so strong.

Today, nap time was particularly difficult. My son was fussing, I got frustrated and raised my voice, and afterward I felt absolutely awful. I know I’m human and that one bad moment doesn’t define me as a mother, but it made me spiral into wondering whether I’ve done something wrong or somehow damaged our relationship.

I know toddlers go through phases of preferring one parent, and I’ve read that it can be normal. But knowing that intellectually doesn’t make it hurt any less when your own child seems to reject you, especially when you’re the one doing most of the caregiving.

I’m also five weeks postpartum, so I know hormones, exhaustion, and adjusting to life with two little ones may be making everything feel more intense. Still, the feelings are real, and I’m having a hard time not taking it personally.

**I would really love to hear from parents who have experienced this:**
\-Did your toddler go through a strong preference for one parent, even when the other parent was the primary caregiver?

\-Did it eventually pass? If so, around what age?

\-Did your child’s preference change, or did you find ways to cope with it emotionally?

\-For those familiar with attachment research, is there anything meaningful to take from a toddler being okay with one parent leaving but becoming very distressed when the other leaves?

\-Is there anything you found helpful that didn’t involve forcing affection or making your child feel bad for preferring the other parent?

I’m not looking for anyone to tell me that my husband should be less involved or that I should somehow compete with him. I’m grateful my son has such a loving dad. I just want to stop feeling like I’m somehow less important to my little boy because I’m not the parent he chooses when we’re both in the room.

I would really appreciate honest experiences, advice, and reassurance from people who have been through something similar.

I need some mantras or things I can tell myself when I have to leave my son or take breaks for myself. I have PPA and loads of mom guilt (in therapy/on meds). I am a SAHM to a 1.5 year old boy, and any time I leave him with his dad, or a grandparent, I feel AWFUL. On the weekends when I take breaks to get things done around the house or just chill on my own for a minute I feel like I’m abandoning him. I know he’s not upset, I know he might wonder where I am but that he’s not in distress. I just feel like I’m being absent and it’s so hard for me to even run an errand or do any act of self-care on my own. I just need things I can say to myself to tell myself it’s ok and that he’s ok and that our bond is ok. I know it’s irrational but I just can’t shake the guilt over it.

We have a 2 y/o who's recently be fighting going to school/daycare. We've been going at many angles to try and get her to like and want to go to school so the morning routines are easier.

Mainly because she's very independent and dextrous (e.g. if you put her clothes on, she can and will take them off). We tried everything we can think of: being firm, counting, being playful, getting her stuffies ready, sitting and validating that she doesn't wanna go to school etc.

She doesn't struggle with transition and is the world's most helpful kid in getting ready as long as it's not school.

She's okay at pickup, and once we get to school and she enters the classroom and she settles. But because she didnt use to dislike going to daycare (she has different teachers this year since she moved up a class).

We thought that maybe it was separation anxiety but she's actually okay with us leaving her with the sitter and at other playspaces/classes. So I'm a little bit feeling like maybe she just really doesn't like school. But she can't yet articulate what's wrong, so we can't help fix it or give her tools for it.

A friend pointed out that maybe she just likes hanging out with family and friends more than school, and I can't argue with that. I was that kid that just liked staying home or being with my mom more than school too. Granted, my schools sucked.

And my mom (she is an educator) was amazingly fun and engaging, and a better teacher than all my teachers combined.

Idk. I guess I'm wondering, first: what is the line that people use to determine that the daycare really is the issue and should just change schools, and second: maybe instead of trying to fix school/fix how she feels about school, to just accept that she dislikes school and work with that instead? (Like instead of, go do this fun thing, make it a, bribe her to do this thing she hates?) We've been avoiding that approach because...well...she'll have her entire adult life to hate going to school and work. She's only two, it's too early for school to suck.

Tldr; we think: kid like school = no morning battles; but maybe that's a lost cause?

Hey everyone. Please be nice, I'm not at 100%.

My 15m old suddenly couldn't really sleep with just nursing to sleep anymore. He would keep switching sides and dozing and moving again. So the new routine has been rocking him to sleep, transfer him to bed, and then nurse to keep him settled.

He's getting heavy now. I am sick and weak, and he screams to the point of vomiting with my husband despite my husband being able to put him to sleep before (he worked part time evening shifts, so it's usually me who does bedtime). I had to get up and rock him despite a 103 fever. When he wakes up in the middle of the night he needs nursing and after 4am it's constant latching and sometimes he keeps crawling over me and switching sides for like 20 minutes despite being asleep.

I got really frustrated with him last night and I know it's not his fault. He was overtired already and it took me 30 minutes of aggressive rocking to get him to sleep followed by nursing and switching sides a million times. He no longer takes to his dad. Only me for naps and bedtimes. I don't know what to do. I work full time at home, have a ton of help otherwise, but because of that he is very attached to me especially after a few consecutive days of my husband being gone for work.

He is not like those babies that show sleepy cues too. I have never seen him doze if not for me trying to put him to sleep. We go by wake windows, but I just don't understand why sleep is so difficult.

I had a few questions:

1. Am I spoiling him by always giving in to his cries to be with me instead of his father? Not just for naps, sometimes I'm busy and dad is watching him and he demands me or he cries.

2. What is the deal with him not nursing to sleep anymore and needing rocking? What should I do to stop him from needing so much help from me to sleep (both for naps and bedtime)?

3. Is it too early to night wean? He sometimes latches and sleeps and accidentally bites me. The post-4am constant latching is diminishing my sleep quality.

im a dad of 3 girls, i make a huge mistake in my job, and decided to quit my job, without savings and i became a burden to my inlaws, they feed me and my family. im too much ashame of myself and wanted to suicide.