Last week my job hosted an event & a client showed up with a few friends, all Chinese men. I thought one was really attractive, but other than a short glance & quick hello, he didn't really look at or speak to me? Totally fine, I figured he just wasn’t interested or had a girlfriend/wife… fast forward to the end of the night & my coworker was talking to their group in Mandarin (she’s Chinese) as they were heading out, & they kept glancing over at me. When I brought it up later, my coworker told me that they were asking about me because they thought I was pretty, & the one I thought was hot said I had beautiful eyes… ok, that’s nice, but I’m totally confused! Why didn’t he ask for my number/ask me out? Or even look at me for more than five seconds? 

Anyway, I was complaining to my friends about it & we realized that none of us have ever had an Asian guy ask us out. We’re all white women, I think pretty attractive, but that feedback is mostly from white guys, so… do white women tend to do something that is a turnoff for Asian men? Is there some sort of green light we’re not communicating? Am I reading too much into the calling me pretty/beautiful eyes thing... like is that a compliment an Asian guy would give to a friend/doesn't necessarily mean anything? One of my friends said I should’ve asked that guy for his number… I’ve never done that & would like to avoid it, but if that's really the only way, I guess I'd at least consider it. Any advice/criticism/opinions are appreciated.

Also: should go without saying, but I'm not trying to do anything that even hints at me being a "-boo" or fetishizing Asian men... I'm bringing this here because attraction/approach kinda seems related to masculinity, & I don't trust/care to hear what non-Asian men have to say about this situation.

Comedian Shane Gillis recently went on SNL and basically “sl*t shame” women for dressing inappropriately to the gym. This is currently getting a lot of heat from him and is getting cancelled

What no one talks about that he was hired on SNL several years earlier but was fired due to racist videos of him talking down on Chinese people.

Of course you look at the comments on video entire comment section of WM defending him, how typical…

When someone is talking about the racist clip against Asians, apparently it only matters if other groups of races get more attention and people care about it.

Racism against Asian people are normalized and this just proves it

Is anyone Bothered by Raj not having a GF by the end of the season?

- I know Asian American oppression and de-sexualization are prevalent in Hollywood

- The industry is ran by white executives. So obviously, Asian men are never shown as sexy and desirable.

- But what cut the deepest is: this is a show about outcast men (all Sheldon, Leonard, and Howard were shown as nerdy and undesirable; even Howard was seen by Penny as gross and repellant at first; his redemption arc of becoming a better man thanks to Bernadette was a big highlight of the show). In a show about outcast men, all the white boys got girlfriends (and married) at the end EXCEPT FOR THE ASIAN GUY. Basically, the racist message was clear: Even among the undesirables, Asian men rank the lowest. Tell me that is not offensive and hurtful to you. "We're gonna show all white nerds they can get laid, get love, and get married. There's hope for you, white nerds. Asian nerds: tough luck. Good luck being extinct and alone forever."

- Sheldon and Leonard were all fully realized characters. Sheldon's acceptance speech at the end showed how much he grew. Leonard came out of his shell thanks to Penny. Raj's character was always an afterthought, a stereotype and never realized.

Disclaimer - To all who think: "It's just a show, get over it", no, representation is important. Looking up at your tv and seeing people that look like you succeed in life is how people build self-esteem. Kids need role models. Even adults need role models. Telling marginalized minorities to just ..."get over it" is insensitivity coming from a position of extreme privilege and ignorance.

Please be kind to each other and to me. I am a human with emotions and a family. :)

Ok so The Hole is an upcoming film that stars Hoyeon (actress from Squid Game S1 who got famous in US for it) and some white male actor. But it is based on a Korean novel where he is obviously a Korean guy.

Now typically this would be extremely exhausting and just the typical Asian male erasure/WMAF promotion.

However, (spoilers ahead for people who care) the interesting part here is that The Hole is not kind to the male protagonist. He is supposed to be disfigured and paralyzed, humiliated multiple times throughout the book, and then is revealed to be an asshole who was unfaithful to his dead wife in the end, and finally is killed.

So I'm not totally sure how to feel about this, though I still definitely lean towards hating it as it's still whitewashing an Asian male lead and showcasing yet another WMAF relationship, even if it's not a good one. Plus I have strong suspicions that Hollywood would demand some critical plot changes to be kinder to the white male lead. And of course, though the wife is dead during the entire book/movie, I would be shocked if they didn't include a flashback sex scene.

I was pretty surprised to see that the director Kim Jee-woon is not, as suspected, a self-hating woman. I don't know much about him, but curiously he's a 62 year old man who has never been married or in a relationship and has no kids. I definitely would suspect that he's a closeted gay, as we know how that's the only type of Asian man Hollywood will accept into their circle.

I think it's better if I hang out with other Asian people.

So I'm a high school junior and this guy is in my class, we've been on 3 dates and he says he wants me to be his girlfriend, but his parents need to approve of me even for a causal high school relationship.

Some info about me just to clarify: I'm Saudi-Chinese, born in US but moved to China as soon as I was born. I lived in Shanghai (where my dad was born and raised) for 10 years and went to an English school. I moved to Silicon Valley when i was 10. I'm Muslim, but am allowed to date and don't wear hijab, my family is pretty open.

But I was only a kid when i lived in China so I don't know how to impress his parents, should I bring a house gift, or food, or a plant???? I'm smart and definitely would call myself attractive but I'm really lost on what to do, because I really like this guy and he's attractive and athletic and smart and tall and my type.

EDIT: would it be rude to excuse myself to pray in a spare room???

Damm you don't hear much about Asians in Miami let alone Mongolians in America. Here is a story for you to read. And you can formulate your own opinions on the situation. This guy is a model of sorts as well.

Basically the title. I’d love to hear your experiences as I’m considering trying it out. I’m a 28y Asian American, wondering if any other Asians have tried matchmaking or even things like speed dating. I want to stray away from the dating apps, it personally has never worked that great for me. I’ve been looking into matchmaking designed more towards Asians meeting other Asians.

If you’ve experienced it, would you recommend it (and what matchmaker would you recommend) Or do you think it was just a huge waste of money? Is this something more commonly done at a later age? Like 35-40s instead of in my late 20s. Any insight is appreciated, thanks.

As title states, I have been mainly bald or buzzed for my teenage years as I haven't really needed hair to look good, now as I try to grow it out, it hasnt really taken any shape and sort of sits there. It also gets greasy quite quickly. I do not currently use any products, if anyone has gotten past this stage and would be willing to recommend what hair style/products/length would be suitable for me would be super helpful.

I'm a late 20s male. My parents had me in their 40s. My parents hoarded and significant parts of our home became unusable. I wasn't allowed friends, so I grew up quite alone. I wasn't allowed to choose my own haircut or clothes. Any semblance of independent thought I showed was met with guilt-tripping. I wasn't allowed to have goals outside of becoming either a doctor or an engineer. The city I grew up in was very car-centric, but my parents refused to even let me learn how to drive. Anything I did was used against me. You know - the typical "tiger" parent story.

I grew up ashamed of being Asian and wishing so bad I was white. My self-esteem was so shit that I relished in the tidbits of attention I got when I played being the token Asian. I was violated at school, and my parents made it my fault when I tried to speak up. I rebelled in ways I could and made some choices I regret, just for the sake of trying to seek attention as a young adult. I was so angry at my parents I eventually cussed back at them. I resented them for seemingly blaming me when I got violated at school.

Eventually, I started disliking the racism I internalized against myself, and I wanted to make something for myself. Once I graduated from university, I threw myself into my work. I moved out to a new city a year after graduating, and dedicated my life to my career. I went almost no-contact with my parents for years. I made manager at the big firms. It was no easy feat. I liked to say that I'm a self-made man.

Then my dad died unexpectedly. I rushed back to my hometown to help fly my siblings in. I coordinated his funeral while working 60 hour weeks. I tried to lighten my family's mood the whole time. Then at his funeral I just broke down crying. I disrespected him the most growing up, and there I was, crying the hardest out of us siblings. I realized that I was so mean to him all my life because I only ever wanted to make him proud, and I talked-back because I felt so bad whenever it felt like I disappointed him.

After the funeral, I quit my job and stayed behind in my hometown to help my mom. While cleaning the hoard of a house, I went through my dad's old stuff. I got glimpses into who he was when he was younger. I started realizing that my dad wasnt who I thought he was. As a kid, I felt that he was a very unreasonable person, but I realized that he was never greedy, he was just scared of being betrayed again by his colleagues. He wasn't a bad man, he just never learned to communicate calmly. I look back at all his unread emails in my inbox when he researched cures for my weak health. Back then, it felt like he was just my biggest hater. Now, I see that he really did care about all of us, he was just really strange and overbearing in the ways he did things. Of course, the way a message is delivered is just as important as the message itself. I can't blame him for that anymore, when I'm a big mess inside too despite being a corporate machine on the outside.

Living with my mom during my period of unemployment was somewhat healing. We had some bad fights, especially when she still made unwanted comments when I drove her to appointments, or when she got mad at me for cleaning out the hoard. Towards the end, I felt like I was enjoying being her son again, despite the fights and despite her making the house messy again. When it was time for me to resume my career, I got a job in a big city halfway across the country. It was so hard for me to take the job and leave her all alone, but to my surprise, she told me to take the job with no hesitation.

I moved to my dream city to finally live the life I always wanted. I was having lots of fun at first, but the novelty is wearing off. I'm realizing that my dream city isn't my dream city anymore. I want so badly to go back to the past and have the chance to actually have a proper relationship with my parents. I think I forgave them a long time ago. These days I just start crying whenever I remember my dad. I am feeling like I will regret if I don't move back to my hometown to be with my mom who is now in her 70s. It's not easy, because my gf's career is in this big city, and it'd also kill me to let her go.

Not sure what the point of this post was. I know this doesn't fit the rest of the subreddit. But I'd love to hear if anyone has any stories on successfully reconnecting with their parents once they got older.

My hair looks very bad and I wanted to change the style from a long time ago but I really don’t know what’s the best haircut for my situation. My two biggest problems are big forehead + hair whorl. I’ll gladly take any recommendations

I’ve been having difficulty in the dating world so I’ve been trying to glow up a bit. The advice I got was to lose weight and hit the gym. In my first photo which was taken a few months ago I was around 15 pounds heavier. All the other photos were taken around this month. Have I made any progress or do I still look the same? I’m currently 5 foot 8 136 pounds.

I’ve also changed up my hairstyle and wondering if I should try a different cut or if it looks fine now.

I feel like I’m still chubby so should I continue to lose more weight or should I stay at maintenance and continue lifting?

Would appreciate all input!

Do you think the Asian man will get the girl this time?

Emasculation of Asian males in media continues

The Netherlands with a history of trading slaves and Black Peter (Zwarte Piet), is not strange with racism against non white people. And sadly, Asians are at the lowest spectrum of bully victims. Here I raised exactly the racism issue https://www.reddit.com/r/Netherlands/s/Etdr01pO9l

My son (100% Asian, aged 12) and our direct neighbor's son (called A, of white East European origin) are at day 40 into their secondary school: a Gymnasium in the Netherlands. This school is known for a majority of parents of middle / upper middle white class.

They formed a closed group of friends with two other white Dutchies (called B and C)

And after just 40 days into secondary school, my son, who has got no bully experience the last 4 years at a Dutch school, has already complained about

- earphones being destroyed by the carelessness of B and C

- beloved pen being borrowed and not returned by B

- a triangular protractor being put on the floor, jumped over and slides as a ski by C

- and today: all A + B + C jointly mocking the language we speak at home: "ling long ching chong language", to which my son cried.

I am thinking about the following measures:

- talk seriously with our neighbour, parents of A

- talk with the parents of B and C

- report to the school person responsible for racism and bullies.Aiming at a slogan like "No Ching Chong at this school" or a diversity training to all kids.

- gather support from other Asian parents in the school.

What would you advice is to do ?

Many thanks.

PS: I am collecting evidence, and start making the bullies feel some difficulties in life. It is not only about them, but about the wider awareness regarding racism and bullies.

"I feel challenged and loved and cared for, and I feel championed. I think the best, healthiest relationships are ones where you have each other's back, and I definitely feel like that's the case"

https://www.cbc.ca/news/entertainment/wedding-simu-liu-allison-hsu-9.7371118

Mid 20s Southeast Asian, my go-to skincare brand released a down perm cream and it has worked for me so far, the top is easier to comb and the puffy sides are gone. Any tips for next use?

Like fr on someone who is on the thicker side will never get a match. I repeat never like my profile. It seems like the likes I get sent are anorexic or very lean. Does anybody ever get this??

Doesn’t look like anybody talked about this yet but Yamamoto threw a gem last night to get The Dodgers to lead the series and bring our chances to win the NLDS to 75%.

The Braves pitcher he faced, Chris Sale, is considered one of the best pitchers in the league for years so a lot of Dodger fabs were worried we may drop this game. But per usual, Yamamoto delivers in the Post Season.

People who have doubted him over and over again for the past 3 years are now coming out to say they “won’t doubt him again”.

This leads us to the most important lesson you can ever learn.

Competence is the only thing that survives contact with reality.

Although I cant prove it, i can’t help but notice that some of the doubt these people had of Yamamoto came from him being Japanese. Now on his 3rd post season run were he consistently delivers, they forced to respect him.

Yesterday marked 30 days of me being in south america. Wanted to drop some game and takeaways for newbies to close off my hoe phase lol. Enjoy

Game stats: Dated 13 different girls (10 from tinder, 3 from night/club game). At least first base with all. Smashed 11. Three came straight to house to smash. Cost per nut ranged from ~$10-$30 (just my estimation; most of cost comes from ubering girls cause im a nice guy). My stats is nothing special since I've met people who went on more dates than days that they stayed here (these were people who come for short term and fully focus on dating)*

Personal stats: Avg male. Mid 20s. My preference is ❄️ latinas. I have a job so Monday to Friday im hustling. Not one of those unemployed losers who pretend to have a business/job while penny pinching in shit airbnbs chasing girls 24/7 cause they got no play when they were younger lol

Let's begin

1. Golden landing aka got laid on the day i landed: Standard Tinder date. Went to bar near house. Pulled up late coz idgaf. Saw her like 2 more times before she got mad I was seeing other girls and blocked me lol.

• Takeaways: If you’re traveling aim to arrive on the weekend for maximum chances of landing dates. Get matches/Preswipe on dating apps 3-6 days before you arrive. Girls have short attention spans and unlimited 🐓 requests so if you start talking to her longer than a week before meeting, you’re wasting YOUR time bc she will lose interest (unless youre a 10/10 chad)

2. Smart engineer chick with good english: Another Tinder date from preswipe. Invited her to nearby bar. Kept repeatedly saying “we’re not gonna fuck” throughout the night, while I take her from bar to my bedroom, where she got high, we smashed, and she came multiple times lol.

• Takeaways: for newbies, that’s a standard female test to see how you react, just say some dumb shit like “im not that easy”/“all u think about is sex”/“im a virgin never touched a woman before” or just ignore her.

3. Another smart Tinder chick with big boobs. Already saw she was into asians so knew it was gonna be an easy smash. Invited her to dessert place 5min walking from house. My lowest cost per nut this trip.

• Takeaways: You control the logistics. Don’t invite girls for dinner/lunch/heavy food or places far away from your house. Waste of time and money. Find the closest cafe as your go-to date place. Don’t be like my buddy who agrees to uber girls to random shopping malls and ends up being a simp paying for them with no smash lol

4. Big titty Tinder girl who came straight to smash. Fastest smash of this trip. Ubered straight to house. It was raining and cold so told her to come up and we can order food. She sat on my couch, I put on music, and got straight to the point. She came in a nice innocent long dress but underneath was wearing a full lingerie set. Cost per nut was a bit high from uber since she lived far away.

• Takeaways: Give a girl an excuse to come straight to house to smash (plausible deniability). In this case the rainy and cold weather helped.

5. Tatted up pale redhead with a big ass: Ran into her super late one of my only times going out for club/night game on a Friday. Smashed same night. Best sex. Saw her a few more times before she got insanely jealous and blocked me.

• Takeaways: The stereotypes are almost always true. Heavily tattooed girls are crazy and for the streets. To me, heavy tattoos signal emotional impulsiveness. But the crazier they are the better the sex. After I smashed this girl, I asked my roommate when the red flags would show up, and literally the next date she went crazy jealous. Pretty sure this girl had borderline personality disorder. I miss the sex though.

6. Green eyed MILF: This was the next day, Saturday, one of my busiest days managing dates.

I had 4 new dates wanting to see me but I was pissed off and tired from the previous night (see this post) so I only managed to smash one.

• Date 1 was scheduled at 2pm but I rescheduled because she lived far away (didn't realize it was 1 hour Uber) and it would’ve interfered with my next dates. Long distance + high Uber time wasn’t worth it. Ngl she lost interest and we never went out. Was a hot 18 year old chick who still lived with parents.
• Date 2 was scheduled at 4pm, but the girl found out I had multiple dates so she purposely and aggressively pushed it to night time to mess with me. I cancelled on her and saw her the next day.
• Date 3 was scheduled at 7pm. Green eyed MILF but she rescheduled to 9pm last min. Bruh
• Date 4 was scheduled at 9pm with a pale blonde chick. She cancelled at 7pm because I didn’t confirm as I was using her for backup in case MILF cancelled. She also lost interest but I can prolly still see her.

Anyways, went to nearby restaurant with MILF. This was my favorite date in terms of pure seduction.

• She was shy at the restaurant and gave no indication she wanted to smash.
• After we ate, I escalated to a brief makeout standing outside the restaurant.
• She wanted to go to the club and said she was not gonna do anything on first date, so I used plausible deniability that my phone was low on battery (I had a portable charger with me lol) to “go back to my place to charge my phone then go out”. She agreed.
• Back to my place -> couch -> music -> makeout -> escalation attempt rejected -> more kisses -> make her laugh -> then she let me cuddle -> make her laugh again -> tell her i was cold so we could go to bedroom (I wasn’t, my dick was ready to burst outta my pants) -> carry her to bedroom -> more makeout -> escalation attempt rejected -> more dumb shit to make her laugh -> more makeouts -> more escalation rejections
• Finally, about an hour in, we got to smashing. I really wanted to hit raw since we were both so turned on, and she was soaking wet at this point. I didn't. Really enjoyed this one because the whole process was a slow dance that ended with the best outcome.

She blocked me 1-2 days later because she saw I posted another chick by accident. Forgot to remove her from my instagram private story.

• Takeaways: Some girls really want to be seduced lol. Use plausible deniability for example your phone is low on battery to start the pull to your place.

7. This was with Date #2 from yesterday that I cancelled on. A pale brunette that spoke great english. Again used plausible deniability of rain and cold to Uber her straight to house. Came down in gym clothes on purpose so I had another excuse to bring her upstairs. Tried to use the cold weather, being tired from gym, and low phone battery to keep the date at my place. My roommate was sitting on couch and I even used that as an excuse to bring her to my room so we wouldn’t bother him. Gave her as much plausible deniability as possible but she still wanted to go to bar.

Went to bar, only made out, and didn’t close. Dropped like $50 on uber and drinks for nothing. She blocked me a day later because I made a light joke about her being heartbroken lol. Triggered.

• Takeaways: I should have just sent her home after she came to the apartment and still wanted to go to bar after all the plausible deniability I gave her. She gave off feminist vibes from the start: argumentative and aggressive. Just ignore girls like this no matter how hot.
• Also, my roommate might have unintentionally c*ckblocked me by sitting on the couch. From her POV, she was in an apartment at 9pm with 2 strange guys she just met, and hooking up with me would’ve made her look slutty in front of my roommate. So main takeaway is roommate should be in room or outside the apartment when date is over.

8. Pale clingy tinder redhead: My favorite. She showed high interest and came to see me on a Tuesday. We smashed and went out to dinner. That booty to waist ratio is divine. Didn’t even have to try for her to become one of my mains. I was too busy spinning plates aka dating other girls and she became attached to me lol. More on her later

• Takeaways: might be obvious but never be needy. The less fks u give the more fks u get.

9. Green eye pale chick that came straight over to smash: This one cancelled on me twice, so I just ignored her, but then she showed a lot of interest sending me a whole 3 minute long voice note and asked me to Uber her to my house to hang out. This was on a weekday where I had a lot of meetings at work, so she had to wait in the lobby for half an hour while I was in a meeting lmao. When she came up she had to wait again as I was still mid meeting.

Anyways I think ignoring her made her more into me. As we were about to smash I realized I ran out of condoms. Went through all my suitcases looking for one and couldn’t find shit, but luckily found one on the ground under my bed. This chick was extra wet so I came a lot lol. Most out of all my interactions. My roommate came in clutch and gave me another condom to smash later. W wingman

• Takeaways: Reduce attention after a girl flakes. If she’s really into you she will move mountains to be with you. Make sure you always have condoms before a date.

Note: At this point, I think I was around Wednesday of week 3. I started getting so tired from all the dates I stopped using Tinder (nice problem to have ik). I usually swipe on Wednesday, start texting matches on Thursday to set up dates for the weekend. But I stopped using Tinder at this point.

10. Side hoe: This was a girl I knew from nightgame from way before that I already smashed. She’s very nice, kind and attractive so she a side hoe. Took her to a local bar and then home to smash. Told her to bring a friend for my roommie. The 4 of us went home but my roommie was too shy and couldn’t smash his girl, so she ended up sleeping on the couch lol.

My girl cleaned my whole kitchen the next morning. I rewarded her by posting her to close friends calling her my side ho. Here’s her texting me asking what “side hoe” means lmao. I forgot I added clingy redhead to my private story so she saw the photo and got jealous lmao, but I was busy spinning plates so I again unintentionally ignored her which made her more into me.

• Takeaways: For girls I already smashed, I bring them to bars with me for preselection (aka other girls are more into you if they see you with attractive girls). I could have just Ubered her straight to house to smash but I took her to the local bar for this purpose.

11. Night game tanned chick: Went out with this girl twice so far. She’s very attractive: a naturally wide smile/mouth, very fit, and very good genetics lol. Whenever I make out with her my mouth gets violated by her big ass tongue. She’s got really good genetics to make D1 athletic kids while still looking very feminine. Thick bones, perky firm muscles and breasts, and stronger than all the other girls I’ve been with. Think of those typical tanned samba girls in carnaval.

Anyways, I didn’t pressure her to smash that much because I am in abundance and want to keep this girl in my roster long term.

• First date: I had her at 8pm and clingy redhead #8 at 10pm. But because #11 wouldn’t give in, we went over time and I had to flake on #8. After #11 left, I opened my phone to see clingy redhead had unfollowed me on instagram and told me I had lost my chance with her.
• I called her at like 11:30pm. She sounded upset, but I didn’t care that much. I asked if she still wanted to see me. She said it was too late, so I asked her when and she suggested the next Tuesday. I agreed, but then Ms clingy changed her mind almost immediately and asked for an Uber to see me. Cute.
• Second date: About a week later, #11 came over to my house. Clingy redhead had spent the previous night and that whole day with me, then #11 came over. I fingered her briefly and got a handjob from her, but she was making me wait. I was annoyed but didn't don’t mind, because even though she’s a good kisser, I don’t think she’s that experienced in bed which tells me she probably doesn’t sleep around as much as other girls. For example, during the handjob she didn’t realize how strong she was (athletic af) and unintentionally gripped my 🐓 so hard it hurt the next day lol.
• Takeaways: Maintain a roster. I will maintain a roster of 2-3 girls that are non-problematic, chill, and super into me, so i can focus on other things.

12. Tinder chick who flaked on me first day: I had 2 dates scheduled my first day here and she was one of them, but flaked even after we videocalled. Her excuse was that she was with her bestie who was visiting town and her bestie didn’t let her leave (which was valid but it displeased me). I ignored her since then until she randomly hit me up last Thursday. On Friday, at this point I was exhausted and didn’t schedule anything for the day so I didn’t give a shit and straightup told her to come over for dick because I knew she was highly interested. She ubered over and we smashed. Another ❄️ latina which is my type.

• Takeaways: 3 girls out of the 13 I met straightup came over to smash. Not bad. I am at a level in dating where I am satisfied, so I’ll stop using Tinder and focus on better things. More to life than just chasing 🐱. Hoe phase is over.

13. Tinder chick who got upset and unfollowed me: Almost forgot about this one for some reason. This one I Ubered over, we got coffee together nearby, and smashed. She was upset that I tried to kick her out after we did it because she wanted to get dinner with me. I know she was a good girl because the days after she did everything she could to try and get my attention back. She lived too far so I just offered dinner another day but never got back to her.

• Takeaways: Good girls who don’t hookup often will desperately try to get your attention back post hookup. Reduce attention post smash to see the kind of girl she is

Anyways last weekend was the finale for me. I barely check Tinder anymore, and I had a date with a new Tinder girl at a nearby bar but I was pretty bored of this lifestyle, so I just told her to come over, which made her mad and she blocked me lol. I ended up just seeing clingy redhead, and then #11 for the second date that I mentioned above.

Ultimate abundance to close off hoe phase: Last Sunday, while I was in bed with clingy redhead #8 and waiting for this second date with #11, #12 called me. Told #8 it was my family and made up some shit about them spying on me. Made her laugh and saved my life lol. #13 also hit me up asking if I wanted to see her at the exact same time as #12 (ho's come in waves). I been ignoring #13, so she unfollowed me lol.

What's next: going to focus on better things while having my roster. This lifestyle gets boring pretty fast. I have learnt a lot about dating throughout the years that I am satisfied with my progress now.

EDIT: Mod suggested to put both parts into 1 post. So there is no part 2. Not interested in talking off reddit so stop trying to ask for my personal contact. Just ask questions on reddit.

EDIT 2: I started calculating Cost per nut to prove a point with my buddy. He's also getting many dates here, but then cheaps out on the girls, which turns them off, and he ends up upset that he doesn't get laid, so he goes to massage parlors to p4p lol

*Disclaimer: everything in this post is fiction and all images and screenshots are AI generated. Poster is a obese redditor living in parents basement

Hey QQ, do you guys consistently work out and track your diet? What are your fitness or health goals? And if you’re not consistent, what usually gets in the way? 🤔

18M Asian American, autistic + severe ADHD, currently at community college. Burner account.

I’m looking for Asian guys with ADHD, autism, or both, preferably Gen Z or younger millennials, who now have dating experience, a girlfriend/wife, kids, close friends, a decent career, or just a solid independent life. Especially guys who were genuinely struggling at 18.

I’ve been extremely uneven since childhood. Around 3, I could memorize Bible verses and recite them from memory and won awards for it. Later I became the kid debating my pastor about contradictions I noticed in the Bible that he apparently hadn’t even registered, which got me disciplined.

At the same time, elementary school was a disaster. I was constantly getting in trouble for messing with people’s stuff, being a loudmouth, refusing classwork and basically trying to force myself into friend groups. I got detention, sent to the principal and was sometimes restrained by staff.

Academically, I could read extremely fast and tested at a very high reading level, and I was great at navigating computers. But I often comprehended almost nothing I read. Words would fly through my head without sticking. My math sucked, I never made gifted programs, and eventually I grew to hate reading altogether.

By high school I basically flipped and became quiet and socially anxious. I had two real friend groups but was peripheral in both. I’ve never been in a friend-group group chat.

One year some guys randomly showed up at my house a few times to get me to hang out, while also constantly fucking with me. They’d take pictures of me without me knowing, and sometimes I’d catch them talking shit about me on their phones when they thought I wasn’t aware. I’d see it while peeking at their screens and pretend I didn’t notice. I still don’t know how much of the overall dynamic was teenage banter/hazing versus me genuinely being the punching bag.

Eventually they basically stopped reaching out. After HS most ghosted me or left me on read. I stopped chasing because I felt like a bitch constantly reaching out to people who weren’t matching the effort. By senior year I was so socially checked out that I skipped graduation, and senior trips? Yeah, forget about that. I basically missed the stereotypical end-of-high-school experience.

Some of this is my fault. I’ve been stubborn, insecure, avoidant and bad at maintaining relationships. But a lot of it also came from circumstances and problems I didn’t choose or know how to navigate.

When I’m comfortable, I can yap and joke forever. Starting from zero is brutal. With strangers I become stiff. My voice gets quiet and monotone, and social anxiety makes it hard to raise my volume or change my tone even when I consciously want to.

Looks probably played some role. I think I look average straight-on, but I have a recessed chin and downward facial growth from the side. Neurodivergence and lack of social capital probably mattered too. Some guys around me were varsity athletes, in student government, etc. They had teams, status and built-in networks.

And at least where I grew up, I don’t think my dating problems were simply a race issue. Some Asian guys around me got attention from popular girls of all races.

The irony is that I desperately want an active social life, but it feels completely opposed to how my brain is wired. I want close friends, dating, going out, networking, trips, eventually a wife/kids and an ambitious career.

I live in an overwhelmingly white area, but culturally my interests became this weird mixture of Barstool/frat-dude culture and SoCal Asian-American culture, despite growing up nowhere near California or even a college town.

I barely game and don’t really watch anime, movies or TV. My actual routine now is scrolling blackpill/neurodivergence content or montages of overachieving Asians getting insane tech offers, living in penthouses or seemingly winning at life, then going to the gym, listening to music and vibing alone. ADHD makes five hours disappear, suddenly assignments are due, and I panic-finish everything with AI.

My mental health is in the dumps living like this.

Academically, I feel like my actual unaided math level might be below algebra. I survived through cramming, cheating, reverse-engineering tests, tutors, Photomath, Chegg and now AI. I maintained around a B average, so I kept moving forward without ever fixing the foundation.

My parents even went into debt trying to give me the education, activities and support they thought would help me live a normal life. I’ve often felt like they saw me as a failure or were disappointed by how I turned out, but they still care about me and have sacrificed a lot trying to help me. That makes me feel ashamed more than anything. They poured so much into giving me opportunities and I feel like I haven’t turned it into much yet.

I genuinely don’t know how much of my situation is actual inability versus autism/ADHD, circumstances, stubbornness, avoidance and years of shortcuts.

Despite everything, I’ve always been ambitious. My dreams bounced between entrepreneurship, social media, creative work and business. I grew up fascinated by unconventional entrepreneurs like Steve Jobs, Richard Branson and, before politics, Donald Trump. Turns out these three men all have ADHD/autism. I wanted to create things, meet people and build something big.

Another thing that gets in my head is reading about the worse average mental-health, employment, quality-of-life and mortality outcomes reported for autistic people and people with ADHD. I know population statistics aren’t an individual prediction and people with these conditions vary massively, but when I’m already struggling at 18, it’s hard not to wonder what my own adulthood is going to look like.

I know this probably reads like doomer mentality. But the reason I obsess over this shit isn’t because I don’t want a life. It’s almost the exact opposite.

I desperately want to live as full of a life as I possibly can. I want close friends, relationships, stupid memories, trips, a career I’m proud of, independence, a wife and kids someday, and to actually feel like I’m participating in the world instead of watching everyone else live through a screen.

The possibility that some of that could be taken away from me by things about my brain that I never chose genuinely aches my soul and makes me depressed.

The person I desperately want to become is social, active and ambitious. My actual life right now is scrolling, gym, isolation and panic-finishing schoolwork. I don’t want my twenties to become another decade of this.

I don’t want this post to just be me declaring myself cooked. That’s why I’m asking people who have actually lived through this.

For Asian guys with ADHD, autism, or both who were genuinely struggling at 18 but now date, have a girlfriend/wife, kids, friends, a career or simply a normal independent life or had a random successful breakthrough into wealth:

What were you like at 18, and what actually changed?

I’d especially like to hear from Gen Z or younger millennial guys who once thought they were completely cooked and later realized they weren’t.

Hmm 🤔
Is there a Hollywood AM emasculation agenda or just another coincidence?

Watch this sht which is currently #4 on Netflix.

No, they didn’t get golden tickets by searching through candy bars like the movies.

This dude was cast. The AM contestant is gay, super feminine and small (pink sweater and all) and he brought , as his game partner, his slightly less small brother , who I had to look up to find out he was straight, bc he sounds arguably more feminine than his gay brother. I literally thought they cast two gay Asian brothers.

Ok. Thats all.