I work as a server at a Chili’s in California, and today I had an interaction with a customer that genuinely made my week.
A gentleman came in to dine alone, and right away, he seemed like a really cool guy. When I first approached him, I asked where he was from because I initially assumed he was South Indian based on his appearance. To my surprise, he told me he was from Sri Lanka, specifically Colombo, and that he was Sinhalese.
He seemed surprised that I knew about the Sinhalese and Tamil communities, so he asked me how I was familiar with them. I explained that I was Tamil myself and originally from Chennai, India. Interestingly enough, he wasn’t familiar with Chennai!
I knew about Colombo because, last year, I had spent a considerable amount of time reading about the Sri Lankan Civil War, the ethnic tensions between the Sinhalese and Tamil communities, and the horrific atrocities committed during the conflict. I had learned about the immense suffering endured by Tamil civilians, as well as the violence and suffering experienced by Sinhalese civilians and other communities.
But I’m not writing this post to discuss the war or the politics surrounding it.
I’m writing because of what happened afterward.
After finishing his meal and paying his bill, this gentleman waited approximately ten minutes while I was busy attending to my other tables. He could have simply walked out, as most customers understandably do. Instead, he waited until I was available, just so he could shake my hand and personally say goodbye.
It was such a small gesture, but it genuinely meant the world to me.
I had been having a particularly difficult week, and this was honestly one of the kindest gestures a stranger has shown me in a long time. He had absolutely no obligation to wait for me, yet he chose to do so.
I don’t share this story because I take pride in being part of some symbolic moment of unity between two communities with a historically complicated relationship. Nor do I believe that one positive interaction somehow erases the suffering or discrimination that people have experienced.
I’ve spoken with Sri Lankan Tamils who have shared their experiences of prejudice and mistreatment by Sinhalese individuals. Those experiences are real and shouldn’t be dismissed.
But today’s interaction reminded me of something equally important: hatred and prejudice are often learned, but they do not have to define how we treat one another.
We weren’t trying to reconcile historical grievances or make some grand statement about ethnic unity. He probably grew up amidst both the fourth and the fifth phase of the war(where hundreds of thousands of Tamil died in months). We were simply two people from different backgrounds having a pleasant conversation.
Sometimes, that’s all it takes to remind us of our shared humanity.
A little respect, curiosity, and kindness can go a long way toward helping us see the person beyond the differences.
I doubt this gentleman realizes how much his small gesture meant to me, but I sincerely hope he’s doing well, wherever he is.
And to my Tamils from India… I understand you might feel a certain way towards Sinhalese people because of the atrocities your brothers and sisters in Sri Lanka had faced. But remember… Embrace the humanity before the politics.

As time goes on, it seems more and more of the online hate is encroaching into the real world.

It's important to realize that people in the diaspora with a similiar mentality as communities like this or r/thebronzemovement, who could have seen this type of incident (and honestly worse ones) from a mile away from the massive surge of hate online a couple years ago are very much a significant minority.

Too many Indians in the US think their high paying white collar job or successful business that lets them live in a "nice" neighborhood is going to keep them safe, and they can go to the temple every week, go to family/friend functions and dance events, and festivals, thinking everything will be just fine.

It needs to become the norm amongst Indian Americans that a lot of us have targets on our backs, and unfortunately places of worship or large gatherings such as weddings or other parties will be a prime target for these white supremacists whose goal is to harm many Indians as possible. It also imperative because Desi's, especially those raised in the west, are arguably the most vunerable to become self hating. We need to come together and realize we still have a lot of work to do and build as a community here in this country to empower each other, improve our personal lives, and to increase our safety.

Spent most of my 20s and now early 30s paying down my parents loans, getting them out of stupid business ideas and contracts and legal issues, and still taking care of their household expenses. I moved to canada as a student, still managing to pay my tuition, my expenses and also their debt. But now I’m tired. Ive been doing this for 10 years now, and I don’t think I can keep doing it. Need genuine advice because I want things to change. Are there any coaches/advisor who would be able to help in this situation.

I'm dead serious, guys. Not just your hygiene, diet, level of physical activity needs to be changed but getting your eyebrows threaded will change the way your face looks.

Also make sure to invest in eyebrow tweezers to plucks hairs out of your unibrow. Make sure you pull your skin back before you pluck them and take a hot shower to loosen your pores.

Don't get your eyebrows threaded AND waxed, you will look more overly groomed which sends the wrong message to girls.

This wasn't the first time, either. I recall them doing it to r/SouthAsianMasculinity too.

The wannabe tough white frat kid will try to bully and punk some Indian fob kid who has a lot to lose and won’t fight back because he has to protect his student visa but never a brown frat kid on his level from a rival frat who would whoop his ass

That same dude will go catcall some Indian fob girl who got no clue about how to navigate American college social rules, just wands her degree , on a hb1 visa , and was taught at home to ignore boys but he’ll never catcall a rich Indian girl from a westernized background or a group of brown baddies on campus cause he knows they’ll destroy his name.

Them 12/13 year old wannabe gangster kids will go terrorize some Indian fob uncles gas station but will pussy out the moment his son and nephew comes out

Some white girl on campus will try to humiliate and call some fat neurodivergent brown dude a creep because he accidentally stared but will never do that to a brown dude who’s jacked and in good shape and socially savy

The brown people who have more social power and who grew up here need to protect our venerable members (our fobs, elders, neurodivergent members) because they face the worst of Indian racism. Racists always target vulnerable people but never people that will btch them.

I am genuinely exhausted by all the anti-Indian racism online. So exhausted that I’ve deactivated Instagram and X for 2 months now.

I am not trying to engage in victim-blaming or begging to be liked by anyone. But morality does have an aesthetic taste. All this hate has lit a fire inside of me to be the fittest, best dressed and confident version of myself.

Build muscle, get lean, dress well, and walk with your chin up.

Fuck the racists and fuck trying to fit in amongst filth and seek their validation. Cut down your social media usage, cut toxic friends who make snarky remarks and “edgy” “jokes”. Focus 100% on yourself, your family and your real friends.

The only thing in your control is yourself.

https://x.com/TheRealJamieKay/status/2108614720542441797 These man only got this energy for women and elderly never for the young guys lol the town it happened in Wirral is also a town which is like 92% white

How can we help this guy? Emailed couple international human rights organizations. Not sure what we can do to gain traction. Please share and make people aware.

https://x.com/ifpost47/status/2070120294354993517

Just wanted to share that I squatted my bodyweight this week (80kgs) and did 8 wide grip pull ups, unassisted.

I've been lifting consistently for over a year and eating a high protein intake, around 150-200 grams of chicken, with rice and veggies. I marinate the chicken with salt, pepper, oregano, and red chili.

Also have been eating eggs, protein shake and instant oats, fruits, as well as other assorted dishes with meat made at home, such as chicken biryani, rotisserie chicken, salmon, sweet potato, and drinking plenty of water around 2.8 liters - 3.6 liters.

Only have one cheat day on Sunday. I usually eat a bit of junk food just to satisfy my cravings.

I've avoided Indian dishes that upset my stomach and prevent me from eating the dish entirely because I can't consume all of it.

I spent 3-4 years crash dieting and yo-yo dieting and hating it because I didn't feel full from eating it and not stretching and hydrating enough. Got the stretch marks to prove it.

I also love combat sports, trained in Boxing and Muay Thai for 2 years but had to leave and focus on university and finding a job, as well as a lack of funds.

I saw my father get diabetes by eating like complete dogshit and all the men in my dad's side of the family grow old with big bellies and skinny arms and decided that it wasn't going to be me, and for some reason fitness and self-care is a form of rebellion against Indian culture.

If diabetes and heart disease is part of our culture, then I don't want to be part of it. I'm not sacrificing my health because they want to force their restrictions on me because they are jealous that I am 1000 times more disciplined and health-conscious.

I'm not a picky eater, I just don't treat my mouth like a trash can and my body like the lobby of a low-rent motel like them.

Hardest part is breaking away from their stupid ass ways of fitness. Let them live looking like shit.

Self-improvement means you have to focus on yourSELF not about how the way you live makes others feel inadequate.

Their inadequate, rigidity and insecurity is not your responsibility. And it's not mine.

Update:

My knee is sore asf from squatting, please focus on your form and rest adequately.

This was because the modern concept of race did not really exist pre 1800s, so for example if you went back in time and told an Indian mercenary that he was a race traitor for conquering Indian land for Persian, Turkic, or European people, he would be confused/indifferent and not really understand or care about what you're saying, unless of course you showed him an iPhone or a bag of chips or something. From his perspective there are already some natives of India who phenotypically look very similar to Persian, Turkic, or European people. From his perspective the people in the neighboring Indian kingdom who look just like him are also "genetically" different from his people (innately/spiritually/in their soul/nature)

He didn't see it as a foreign race conquering his race, and neither did any foreign conquerors at the time. He saw it as his boss paying him for contractor work, and his boss was just one of many in a long line to gain control over the most invaded and contested land in history.

It was only in the 1800s during the height of colonialism when Europeans began creating and socially engineering the modern concept of race, and shortly after Indians began to form their own pan Indian anti British identity and revolted and the British simply could not afford to keep India. Because historically it was never possible to conquer/rule India without using Indian troops.

The only times it was a foreign army conquering, they only held border kingdoms and small pieces of territory, they always failed and were defeated and driven out of the subcontinent when they tried taking on the major Indian powers. The Mongols, Huns, Persians, Arabs, Scythians, Greeks, Dutch, Portuguese, etc all were defeated. India is literally the most invaded land in history due to its fertility wealth and knowledge, maybe only Egypt or the Fertile Crescent faced slightly more foreign invasion. But relatively India is actually one of the least or the least conquered by foreigner lands in history

19th Century version of the lads who cry "never mix" in the comments lmao

Weekly free for all thread

You can post anything you want here

Rules still apply

Hello fellow South Asian boys!

I have just moved to Bratislava and was thinking that in the spirit of South Asian unity, we guys should create a space for us to know each other and emotionally support each other when we're thrown into a whole new world and stereotypes don't work in our favour. I feel like South Asian men share a lot of insecurities because we've been bodyshamed and frequently made to feel less attractive due to western beauty standards.

My idea was to create a whatsapp group for guys from 21 to 50 from Afghanistan, Bangladesh, India, Maldives, Myanmar, Nepal, Pakistan and Sri Lanka. Let me know who you are, let's chat and figure a way forward.

Through this group, we could potentially plan a get together but also talk about what's bothering us and how to fight certain challenges whether career related, dating related while living in Europe.

I’ve visited this subreddit a handful of times before and was wondering about people’s thoughts on this. It seems to be rarer than western raised Desi guys with western raised Desi girls, or just with women of other backgrounds. I’m currently in this type of engagement and she’s definitely much more “traditional/submissive” than the average western raised Desi girl is, which I actually appreciate. But I can only give my full experiences after we finally get married, once immigration gives the green light.

Is anyone else in the same scenario or considering it?

Not really south asian men related but this just goes to show proper diet, nutrition, and training and Indians can perform well athletically.