My birth daughter found me a few years ago and came into my life like a wrecking ball. I tried to explain that her conception and birth were quite traumatic for me and that I needed time to get to know her and navigate the emotional minefield that she wanted to run through. She could not honor my boundaries so I cut off contact. Since then she had found other family members and had shared my name, posted things on social media using my name and calling me all kinds of horrible things. In her efforts to garner sympathy she tried to shame me.
Not every birth parent longs for a reunion and that boundary should be respected. I know I made the right decision in giving her up for adoption. By giving her up for adoption I rescinded all rights to her life and am not obligated to offer a relationship.
I understand her pain, but the lengths she has gone to attack me will never give her peace. By the way, I have never responded to her attacks. It’s a trauma loop I refuse to take part in. I’m just wondering if other birth parents have had a similar experience.

Hi there, I'm a transracial adoptee from South Korea; as the title suggests, I have emotionally shallow parents and I want to know if any other transracial adoptees struggle with this.

I was adopted from South Korea at 5 months old by White boomers and just recently have found the words to describe them as much as I love them: emotionally shallow.

Growing up, they didn't do much to engage with Korean culture and did not really do proper research on the culture before adopting me (I also have a brother adopted from South Korea; we have the same birth mom). The way I describe my circumstances is that they adopted us out of convenience; they were in a tough spot as my adoptive mother had fertility issues and South Korea could guarantee them a child for cheap.

To make a long story short, my parents can't really understand emotional nuances and they think very black-and-white (also they are conservative). They also aren't willing to seek out information for themselves and they aren't the most open-minded when taking new information in, which has caused much friction at times. Being White boomers that were raised in the middle of nowhere, they also just don't understand how racism works.

I feel really alone in my struggles with emotionally shallow parents and I want to know if any other transracial adoptees have this problem?

I am m19 and after knowing who my birthmom is for a little over a year i finally got in contact with her, it wasnt like i didnt have a way it was just giving it some time, anyways we have had basic conversation over text, but its been good, she still lives in the same state so she isnt far away but we havent had any convos about meeting yet but my mom and dad would be for it, its not really weird for me because my mom who is also adopted has met basically all of her birth family and is close with alot of them especially her half sister and her birthmom, so I have been pretty used to this stuff but this is a first i would assume for my birthmom, but yeah its been fine and nothing really awkward, if you have any questions feel free to ask.

Looking for experiences from Canadians in this group. Have you adopted from the public child welfare system in Canada, what province, how long was the process to approval of your home and then how long did you wait for a match? What is the current experience like?
I’ve always wanted to adopt from the public system but looking for what to expect.

I was adopted from Russia at 8 months old. Growing up I have wonderful parents, family and friends. I will never get the truthfulness of my biological family. They lied on my adoption papers. That is something I have to accept. Unfortunately my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Every day I’m slowly losing him which is stirring up my own abandonment issues. What is the best way to cope with the grief and loss. Anything piece of advice would be appreciated. I don’t drink or smoke.