My (25F) now-ex-boyfriend (23M) and I had been together for 2.5 years and were planning to move in together. However, things got a bit complicated over the summer.

In July, he broke up with me because he had doubts about our relationship. The very next day, he changed his mind and told me that none of that was true. He claimed that he was struggling with his mental health and had been projecting those struggles onto our relationship. He said that breaking up with me had been the biggest mistake of his life and reassured me that he wanted to be with me forever.

Naturally, I was hesitant about moving in together after all of this, but he insisted that it was 100% what he wanted. He made me believe that his doubts had been caused by his mental health issues rather than his feelings for me. Eventually, I trusted him and agreed to take that next step in our relationship.

We rearranged my entire house to accommodate him and spent a lot of money preparing for our life together. He still had a few belongings left to move, but before he could do that, he went on a week-long volunteer trip.

A little background information: he wasn’t working at the time because of his mental health issues and was officially on sick leave. However, he hadn’t told his employer that he was going on this trip. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with him lying to his employer, but he didn’t seem to care.

Now, here’s where everything went downhill.

He came home from the trip on Sunday and told me he’d fallen in love with another woman he’d met there. Apparently, they’d talked about their feelings for each other and had already been intimate on the bus ride home.

I was devastated, but he showed very little empathy. It felt like his head was already with this new girl and that he was only interested in moving on with her. He thanked me for the past 2.5 years of our relationship and wanted to collect his belongings as soon as possible. There was very little consideration for my feelings or for the life we’d just started building together. He just seemed eager to get rid of me and move on.

The following day, we spoke on the phone, and he got angry because he felt I wasn’t giving him enough opportunities to collect his things. I was staying at my mom’s house because of everything that had happened, so I wasn’t home.

During that same conversation, he told me he was relieved that our relationship was over and that he’d wanted to leave for a long time. Apparently, he’d only stayed because he was afraid of being alone and needed to find a “backup” first.

He also told me that the new girl had a better body than me and that they’d already been talking a lot since the breakup. As if that wasn’t hurtful enough, the following day, he came to my house to collect his belongings and brought her along because, according to him, he couldn’t carry everything by himself.

I told him I wasn’t comfortable with her coming into my house and asked him to come back without her. This led to a huge argument over the phone.

At this point, I was furious and heartbroken, and I wanted revenge. So, here’s what I did. I created a fake email account and emailed his employer, informing them that he’d gone on vacation while on sick leave. I included screenshots of his Instagram posts from the trip as evidence.

I was angry and felt that if he was well enough to go on vacation, pursue another woman, and cheat on me, then he was well enough to work.

I know contacting his employer was a big step. However, I felt completely blindsided, humiliated, and disrespected. We’d just moved in together after he’d reassured me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, only for him to leave me for someone else days later and treat me as though I meant nothing.

People in our social circle are divided on whether I went too far by contacting his employer, with some understanding why I did it and others thinking I crossed a line.

So, AITA??

My ex (25F) and I (25M) met in college and instantly bonded. She was dealing with the fallout of an emotionally toxic long-distance relationship, while I was still carrying deep trauma from my previous ex, who had cheated on me with her own ex. Because of our pasts and family expectations, we made an initial pact to keep things strictly college-bound so neither of us would get hurt. But feelings got in the way. After six months of fighting through our walls, I realized how much I loved her, pushed past my fears, and asked her to be my girlfriend.

Knowing my trauma, my only hard boundary was: no contact with exes. Just one month into our relationship, I found texts between them. He told her he missed her, and she replied, "I don't know what to say, my heart is so full," while trading gym videos and complimenting his body. When I confronted her and told her I’d walk away if she wasn't all in, she broke down, apologized, and swore it was just a stupid mistake. I chose to forgive her. Over the next months, my own stress and workload caused friction—I struggled to give her the attention she deserved, and while I repeatedly apologized and tried to do better, the cracks were already forming.

During summer break, she asked where I saw our future. When I admitted I was still scared of long-term family conflicts, she shut down and we broke up. Two weeks later, she messaged saying how desperately she missed me, and the hot-and-cold loop dragged us back in. Soon after, another petty argument over a group trip with a friend group of mine in which she does not like a girl ,ended things again. Still wanting to make things right, I planned to surprise her at the airport when she returned, only to stumble upon a Reddit post showing she had jumped into dating someone new. When I confronted her, she looked me in the eye and swore: "It was just a gym crush. I only asked him out to break the cycle and move on from you. Nothing happened between us." I believed her, and we agreed to stay in each other's lives as friends.

Fast forward through four agonizing months of remaining close—constantly holding each other, admitting our feelings, and crying over how we couldn't make it work. Two days ago, I stayed the night at her place. In the morning, while using her phone to ring mine, a text popped up from a random guy: "I still miss you, please come back, I want to be your slave mam."

My stomach dropped. I scrolled, and what I found completely shattered me. Her digital journal and messages laid out the ugly truth:

• That "harmless gym rebound" was actually her ex. She had slept with him just two days after our breakup and wrote about how "crazy" it was.
• she was also in contact with another ex to whom she had unblocked because she wanted to where she could score some weed and that was the guy asking her to be her slave and she was repeatedly asking him to not message him and unsend the video that he has sent ( no idea what that video was)
• While confessing her love to me, making grand gestures, and having me over, she was actively inviting a guy to her apartment for movie dates and overnight stays.
• In her group chats, she was trashing me to her friends, because she was left stranded on a some random date texting: "[Name] nazar laga gaya bhadwa" ("That bloody pimp put an evil eye on my date").

I felt physically sick. When she woke up, I looked at her and asked outright if she had slept with her ex. With the proof in front of her, she finally admitted it.

I stormed out, but the betrayal was suffocating. I returned later with a mutual friend so she couldn't gaslight me, shut the door, and demanded an explanation through tears and anger. Her defense was:

"I never felt chosen with you, and my ex made me feel chosen. That's why I slept with him. I just wanted to break the loop and move on from you."

When I pressed her on why she was having random guys stay over while simultaneously telling me she was deeply attached and in love with me, she offered the same hollow excuse:

"I was just doing it to move on from you and break the cycle."

She knew the exact nightmare I survived with my last ex. She knew the trauma it caused me, and she chose to reenact the exact same script—using me as emotional support while betraying me behind closed doors. I looked at her, told her I was completely done, and told her to stay out of my life forever.
TL;DR: My on-and-off ex knew I had severe trauma from a past partner cheating on me with her ex. After our latest split, she claimed she went on a harmless gym date to "move on," but we stayed close and kept confessing our feelings. Two days ago, I saw suspicious texts on her phone and discovered she actually slept with her ex right after our breakup, had been inviting a guy over for sleepovers, and was trashing me to her friends—all while telling me she loved me. When confronted, she blamed me for "never making her feel chosen." I cut all contact for good.

I (19M) and my girlfriend (18F) who we will call Abby have been together for a couple months now officially. We dated early this year for about 2 months before I left for home for the university break. lets just say that I wasn't over my ex girlfriend at the time and I ended up confessing a lot of things to my ex while still being with Abby. My ex forced me to tell Abby after a few days and we broke up. She is the sweetest girl ever and only cared about if I was okay after everything and that she just wants me to be happy. After about 2 months of no contact, we all came back to uni for the semester and me and Abby reconnected. I played around a bit because I didn't know if I wanted to be a free spirit or not, but Abby put her foot down and told me that we are either getting together or we are nothing. I chose her in the end and am doing the best I can to make it up to her. I treat her like a princess and I genuinely do love her so much.

But Abby is struggling with trusting me. Which I get. But she constantly asks me if I like her, if shes enough, if Im mad at her, etc. Its kind of annoying because I try to reassure her all the time but its never enough.

Anyways, I went to a concert a few days ago and she literally made me tell her what I would do if a girl came up to me asking for my number. I told her I'd ignore them. She asked me not to give my number or socials to any girl and i told her i wouldnt, she seemed happy with that. She told me shes just worried and I told her its all chill. She dropped me off and I went and it was super fun. But, when I was there a girl came up to me and we started chatting and she eventually asked for my insta. I wasn't attracted to her really and I just thought she was cool so I give it to her. We messaged a few times since but like nothing major. Just photos from the concert and stuff.

I gave Abby my phone to play games on and the girl had messaged me just asking how I've been. Abby started full on crying saying she asked me to not do one thing and I still did it. I told her that i barely talk to the girl and that its just friendly but she refuses to listen. I feel like shes kind of overreacting and hasn't really spoken to me for like 2 days now. I feel like I can't even make friends now because Abby is insecure. I really do love her, but I feel like she has to trust me for this to work out. What do I do?

I’ll try and keep this short and simple. This post will be vague on details to protect everyone anonymity.

I (46) have been with my partner (41m) for 19 years. We have 3 children.

18 months ago we went through a particularly rough patch and separated for a short period.

My partner, let’s call him John. Has worked in the same place for 7 years. He is well liked and very good at his job and I have always been very proud of him. My biggest issue is that I don’t particularly like his choice of friends. They tend to be quite toxic, love drama and will often be very two faced. One in particularly, I’ve always had some issue with. A woman who he works with, let’s call her Claire (26f) works in the same company as him. She’s quite immature and very selfish. Previously she had an affair with a married man who turned out to be very abusive and manipulative to her. I felt some sympathy cause she genuinely was manipulated by him into an abusive relationship. But I had severe with the fact that during this, she was friends with the man’s wife whilst she was pregnant and even spent time at their house. This made me extremely wary around her and distrustful. But as she works in the same company as my partner I was cordial and polite with her.

When my partner and I were apart, it was maybe a couple months. After we decided we did very much love eachother and decided to try again. Things have been good. We got married 10 months ago.

Since we got back together though, Claire has been around a lot, amongst many other friends. My partner always said he saw her as like a little sister even said how he could never find her attractive, how she sometimes got on his nerves and they had various arguments at work. He knew I had reservations about their friendship but with the age difference and the fact they both insisted it was platonic. I had even asked them both if anything had ever happened between them or if they had a thing for eachother to which both insisted no. I let it go and have never had any reason to be uncomfortable.

We became more friendly, she helped organise my bachelorette party and even attended my wedding.
But a month ago, someone in the company told me that something had happened between them whilst we were apart. As it turned out, they had shared a drunken kiss on night out whilst we were apart.

I felt angry. Hurt and a bit betrayed. Whilst I understand we weren’t together and bid no control over what he did in the time we were apart. The fact she was apart of our shared lives since we got back together, and the fact they both told me nothing has ever happened between them. I’m
Struggling with a lot. Cause if it truly was nothing, why lie about it right?

Since then, I’ve said I’m uncomfortable with their friendship. Her history, coupled with their lie. Makes me distrustful. Would I be the Ahole if I asked him to go no contact outside of work with her? To not socialise with her? To put in strong boundaries with a woman he clearly didn’t fully see platonic.

EDIT…. I’ll also add that I’m hurt that she attended our wedding. I loved my wedding day. It was perfect. We had a small intimate wedding. We only invited a few friends and their partners. But my husband wanted to invite her too. And I now feel like my wedding day is tarnished cause I feel like it was inappropriate she was even there. She came alone.

Hey everyone... so... context.... let's call him Steve. We had a fast and furious relationship for 6mo back in 2023-24. Madly in love, doing all the things.... then his son came to live with him and he couldn't balance both. So we broke up but kept coming back to one another. The love was there, the intimacy was intensely good, we couldnt stay away from one another it just was less often due to his teenage son being around. I knew this was my person, I could wait.

Middle of 2025 and we both had so much going on in life that kept us without much time for each other. I met someone out one night and decided I was going to kiss him... it was nice. I felt extremely guilty and I went straight to Steve... explained what happened, and we had such a good conversation about communication and friendship and all the green flag things. He told me to do what I want but communicate so things didnt get weird and I agreed.

I ended up dating bar kiss guy for a few months before we both knew it was fun but over. Steve and I had hung out as friends a few times and it felt sad not to snuggle watching the movie or hold hands walking through the woods... after bar guy and I broke up I chatted with Steve and started hanging out more. His kid had just moved back to his mom's and our time was vibing. Things were going really well and we were enjoying each other's company A LOT. Summer 2026 rolls around and my best girlfriend needs some carpentry things done around her house! I excitedly explain that's what Steve, the guy she knows I'm in love with... her and I talk everyday. She knows all the little things. So Steve starts working for her....awesome! Win win for everyone.

Things between Steve and i start getting weird. No more invitations for dinner and movies. No more coming up to help in my property or do tacos Tuesdays with the group any more.... its glaringly obvious something changed. I ask Steve... I cry to BFF... I just don't understand.

Last weekend BFF, 2 other friends, and I go out for a road trip... yearly journey for a friends place 6hrs away... I'm so excited for the weekend away... BFF asks me all about Steve on the trip over, sympathizing over the weirdness and telling me he seems fine when he's working at her place.... I'm sad but excited for the weekend party. Sunday comes around and everyone else partied until 5-6am and I had tucked in early. Just not feeling the vibe with my mood lately. I get up early, can't find my phone, BFFs is sitting right there...we use each other's phone all the time. I pick it up, unlock it, messages from steve are open. "You make me so wet, I miss you" 😢 excuse me... I scroll up, I keep reading. Everything's sexual or talking about me like I'm the inconvenient wife in their daliance. I'm just crushed as i read through the texts. Let me add here she is married! Has been for 20yrs.

I can't look at her on the drive back, she is desperately trying to figure out what's wrong and I cant do it until we get back. 6hrs in the car... no thanks on that. I confront them both, separately. No regret, no apologies, nothing.... I'm the ass hole. I invaded her privacy. I'm the bad guy. We weren't together so I have no right to be upset. The whole week they've been in town together, with the HUSBAND, talking shit about me being a liar and trying to start drama... I did call her husband and tell him. This friend... has been sleeping with at least 6 other guys I know about. They twist it... I got jealous of her money so I was trying to ruin her life, trying to ruin Steve's life too because he has decided to move on..... all lies. None of it even close to true. I've been brushing it off... the people that know me and know who I am know better.... but wow. Betrayal on top of betrayal. I just feel so gutted. Now Steve is texting me how I've tainted our friendship and he can't believe I tried to ruin my BFFs life being petty, ruin his income all because I'm a jealous b*tch....

HELP!!! AITA?!?! I'm aware their reactions are gas lightning but man does it make you feel crazy!

My boyfriend is (M27) and I am (F26). We saw eachother for around a year before now being in a relationship for nearlly a year.

I live on my own and he lives at his mum's so he comes and goes from mine, sometimes staying for a couple days, other times staying for a week or longer.

For context: I have explained to him over the past few weeks that I'm experiencing some financial hardship - i've struggled this month and my forecast for the next few months is not looking good. I explained this also means I can't spend as much on food for us when we're together cause my budget for when i'm with him (when he's staying at mine) and when im by myself (when he's not staying at mine) is tight.

A few weeks ago we left the house to go get some food, having agreed to go halves on the shopping, and him knowing all of this, told me on our way to the store that he'd brought nothing to the store to pay with - no phone/bank card/cash. So i asked "how are we paying for this then??" And I immediately pulled him up and told him that wasn't acceptable or fair, especially when we were getting food together to cook for both of us.

I told him it wasnt acceptable because he's always late sending me back the money I spend for us. He always says he'll cover it by sending it back to me later but If a small shop for us costs £50 and I have to cover all of it, then he goes home the next day and is gone for a week, but I only had £100 in total and it takes him over a week to send me back whatever he said he'd cover/go halves on, that puts me in a rough position.

He returned to his home earlier this week on Tuesday and with my budget I battoned down the hatches and did a food shop to cover me in to next week. I try to be structured with my eating/managing my food and meals. I didn't know he was going to return today (thursday) until he told me last night and had spent my money on my house shop accordingly. I thought he would return sometime next week. I made sure my house shop would cover this period for myself, and have left myself around £50 to cover me the 9 days until I get paid from my work which should be fine.

Fast forward to today, (thursday) I'd openly outlined my budget for this week and next with him. We've both had a busy day so we finished everything and went for a walk to break up our evening.

He said he was hungry so he grabbed a few bites to eat for himself on our way to the store.

I needed to go in one shop to see something i want to purchase when I get paid and then grab something from the supermarket.

Upon entry to the supermarket, I asked "what do you want to get for food later aka dinner?" He said he was full and wouldn't need anything - "I think I'll be okay for a while i just ate". I said well yeah but its early (it was around 6:30-7pm) you'll/we'll want something later/tomorrow. And he said he was good.

I grabbed a few things for us (pumpkins to carve and drinks for us to do something together) so that our journey wasn't wasted because i didn't want to piss him off going in a shop and walking around without getting anything. He didn't make any suggestions of snacks/a meal for himself or for me/us, he didnt make any suggestions or really respond to anything I said regarding getting any food, he didn't even offer to pay anything towards the things I was getting for us.

Fast forward to us getting home, i was hungry and decided to make myself a meal from what I have in my fridge from the houseshop. And i ate it infront of him and without sharing it. Which felt a bit rude/a bit weird - even though he'd said he wasn't hungry. he said he was good. I gave him a mouthful to try and he said it was really tasty.

Maybe half an hour later i'm sat on the otherside of the room at the table doing my evening admin and he got up from the sofa and said hes going to have some of the food I'd made.

And I said no. You're not. (Not in a rude way and actually I'm not even fully sure why I said no, like i didn't think about it before the words left my mouth). But he is upset. I obviously made him feel unwelcome and uncomfortable.

I relayed to him what he said in the shop about him not needing any food - him saying he was good. And offered him other food from the house that I have more of. He refused and said he was going to the shop to get some food for himself.

He immediately withdrew and started giving anecdotes detailing how even the poor people in his family would always give food even if they had nothing. And that he's never experienced this. His words; "i've never experienced being told no to food". I responded "no to food or just the word no?"

(Bear in mind this is the FIRST time I have done this, and I have cooked for both of us even since we were dating and handled meals for the majority of the way through our relationship, even budgeting my foodshops for two people and my paycheck around being in this relationship. Cooking is something I enjoyed and I perhaps a quality of mine that I like sharing in my relationships).

(He also does contribute. He does get us things if i ask and will get us things but its mostly only if I ask and I'm tired of it)

And i stood firmly on the point that he made no effort to get anything or converse about getting anything for later while we were in the store.

Every time I pushed forward on the issue he would calm his tone, step back, and then say he was gonna go cook his food and that we needed a time out because I was getting pissed off and he wasn't. He said i dont wanna argue I'm gonna leave it. And then he stated that hes basically just not going to eat anything from my house again. He was serious and I feel like he was making himself believe his own petty bs while he was saying it - but in an almost - dead behind the eyes.. but was alive, kicking, and knows what he's doing exactly .. + chilling kind of way.

Yes I get how this can offend him but I'm struggling not to see this as spoilt or manipulative ??

Am I really an arsehole for this? Or is there something I'm just not getting??

I am dating this girl and we are not technically boyfriend and girlfriend but have talked and agreed to be exclusive, She has come over multiple times and stays for days at a time, I know her from class and have been talking with her for a few months. We never really text or call but I did call and sat on the phone with her for an hour and a half monday and we set up a date for thursday, I spent 160$ getting tickets for frightnight a six flags for the both of us, got her soap for the shower since she said she didn't like that it was man soap she had to use etc. Even got her a toothbrush. But today when it was time for her to arrive she never did, I texted and she didn't respond, eventually I called and she said she was driving back to her house and forgot we had a date today. I can't imagine how she could have possibly forgot, I told her im busy in the future but we'll hangout some other time. I feel like there is no greater sign that for whatever reason, this girl is simply not into me despite her behavior on dates with me. And while technically exclusive I dont know if well ever go on a date again at this point. Ill try to set up another on tuesday but how could anyone forget they're dating someone? Would I be bad if I got back on the apps and started looking for a new partner despite our exclusive tag? I feel like at this point it may not apply.

I am writing this because I genuinely can’t tell if I am being unreasonable or if my feelings are justified lol

So, I am 24y/o and very close to my parents. We see each other regularly and more often than what I know from my friends, especially because we live in the same city, very close.

My mother especially always had expectations on being included to social events - birthday parties, spontanoeus bar evenings or board night with my friends... She always says that she doesn’t understand how her presence makes any difference (amongst a group of people my age) since she likes just as much to be social and that she would also always take me to her events.

My birthday is coming up and besides a dinner with my family on the actual day I am planning to do a weekend event for my about 10 friends.

Now, my mother is a party person, she loves to dance, drink and talk to people but of course she would change the vibe of the event. I also got the “feedback” after other parties that she was “so drunk”, “talked so much” - things that are considered normal for people my age but when it’s a parent it’s mentionable and labeled “bad”. On one hand I want to defend her, on the other this embarrasses me…

I myself am also just being a bit different in my personality when I am around her vs my friends and also know that a lot of people my age act different when there is a parent in the room.

In the perfect world I wouldn’t care and  would like her to be at every event, but in reality having her at a second birthday event really stresses me.

I don’t want to lie about having this birthday party; i don’t want to hurt her feelings - how would you handle that?

AITA for listening in on my ex's phone call, and do I file a restraining order over what I heard?

My ex and I have been separated for about a year. We're "nesting" while we finish mediation, so we're still in the same house. We both have new partners. We share a young son. We also lost our daughter last year, and I'm still grieving.

At our first mediation he showed up unprepared and angry. He said 3 weekends a month wasn't enough time with our son. I told him honestly, please see him more, I'd love that.

At the second session yesterday, he flipped. Now he only wants every other weekend. He said my moving out would be a financial hardship and he wants to keep the house. Later that night I heard him tell someone the real reason: he didn't want me to have kid-free weekends. Joke's on him, I love having my son with me. So I agreed.

Then he said the dogs stay with the house. One of them is my emotional support animal. I cried all night.

Here's where I need honest feedback.

Last night his girlfriend called and he went downstairs. I listened through the floor. I know I shouldn't have. But people around me have been saying he's being coached, because he keeps calling me an "emotionally abusive manipulator" when all I'm doing is being sad and crying.

For about an hour I listened to them bash me. She said she plans for MY son to call HER "mom" and that he'll be her son. He laughed. She said that when she first sees me she's going to punch me in the throat and in the face. He laughed again and said "baby, don't do that, she's a pussy and she'll call the cops and I don't want you to get in trouble." She kept going about jumping me, hurting me, and taking my kid.

He ended the call by telling her he loved her for the first time.

So in the same conversation where she talked about beating up the mother of his child, a woman who is still grieving the loss of their daughter, he told her he loved her.

I'm thinking about going to court today to ask for a restraining order. But I also feel guilty for listening, like this is my fault for eavesdropping.

AITA for listening? And would you file?

I think I was 18 at the time. I live in North America but I went to vote at a station in my city for my home country. At the time I was becoming increasingly disillusioned with democracy and the two candidates at the top of the polls. In a snap judgment once I was about to vote, I decided to “ruin” the ballot and vote for a random with no chance of winning. I realized right after I would’ve been a better decision to cross every candidate. To be clear, I regretted it pretty much instantly because I looked up who I had voted for and it was a horrible discovery that she was NOT someone I would have willingly voted for.

Afterwards I was talking to my family and telling them about this moment, how I regretted it and felt really bad. My dad laughed at me really hard, too hard. It wasn’t funny to me because obviously I regretted it. He told me no one can ever know and I was like well obviously, it’s embarrassing.

A lot of our family friends work at the polling stations, and the next day a lot of them came over for dinner and were discussing “the one vote” that didn’t go to the two main candidates and who would be stupid enough. My dad started laughing secretly. The next day, I found out from my mom that when I left, he shared with everyone at the table that it was me. I was so mortified. My dad and I have already a very strenuous relationship, he was quite abusive to me growing up, something he’s admitted to. But this to me was something worse. Of course now that people at the dinner knew, everyone was about to. They spread the rumours that I was a Russian separatist, and my mom said she started hearing this from random people she didn’t even know. I will never be able to forgive him for this(among other things).

I know I was stupid to go off plan once I was in the booth. I’ve voted a few times since then and it’s not something I do usually. I was just so in my head that day, and the impulse just came to me and i made a snap moment decision to “go against the grain”. In what I thought would always just stay a private moment.

My dad still says that it’s not that big of a deal, and that I shouldn’t have shared it with him if I was really so ashamed. I agree I shouldn’t have shared it with him, but I thought I could trust him as a close family member. I won’t be making that mistake again.

So for context, I (35) was told by my husband (33) that when he was 12 years old got called (please excuse the language) a “f***t” by a friend. He is still VERY upset by this. Like he acts like it’s the worst thing that has ever happened to him. Mind you, he is also a Marine and has been deployed in active war zones. We live in Southern California, so this was a very common insult when we were in high school, or younger, at least where I lived (OC).

One of our friends jokingly called him this the other day and he got SO upset (not by the use of the word because he himself has used it in a joking manner) that he left the house and went home. While I do not condone the use of that phrase I do think it’s a bit ridiculous to still be THIS upset by it 20 years later. Tonight it got brought up again just between the two of us as we were discussing being bullied in school. I started laughing because I thought it was a joke and he got INCREDIBLY upset, he called me a bitch and went to bed 4 hours before he usually does.

Sometimes I wonder if he actually IS gay and that’s why it bothers him. We haven’t been together long (2yrs) but we do have a child together (almost 1yrs old) and there have been some signs. Excessive use of porn (usually female based but extremely exaggerated body parts), he grew up VERY religious/sheltered (wasn’t allowed to date/kiss/or hold hands before 18 and ONLY for marriage). We were very sexually active when we first met but after a few months there was a complete lack of sexual desire. Im actually surprised we conceived (not planned though we both wanted kids). We’ve had sex ONCE in 14mo even though I constantly initiate and while I may not be a porn star I’m not “unattractive” as I’ve never had an issue with that before.

I just can’t help but think this is utterly ridiculous, who cares what name a 12 year old called you as a kid, unless it struck a nerve?? I’ve been polite about him bringing it up in the past but I couldn’t help but laugh this time. I know I should be more supportive but dude, it’s been TWENTY YEARS!!

I have this good friend of mine (18f), we have been friends since middle school. She is currently online dating this boy who claims to be 21. I have been against online dating for a long time.

In middle school, she met this guy on Roblox, at the time she was 12/13, he claimed to be 15. I thought a 15 year old dating a 12 year old was weird, and told her. She said it was love, then he turned out to be 20, cheating on his 19 year old gf with a 12 year old. He’s long gone physically but he still lingers otherwise.

Now I’m worried this newish guy (that she also met on roblox years ago but now they text) is another weirdo, as he’s really sketchy (claimed to own a house and have a gambling addiction at 15, claims to move 24/7 by himself since 14, while claiming to be 20k in debt, uses a voice changer, when he “face revealed” I found the same image on Pinterest)

I expressed my concerns with my friend but she said that I wouldn’t understand, and that she is in love. But now her and him have been fighting often (he said he was cheating and then claimed it was satire, mentioned something that she shouldn’t be friend with boys like me, but he can be friends with girls who flirt with him)

What she blames me for though is giving her negative thoughts about him, and telling him that I don’t want him to hurt her like other guys have…

AITA for this?

Married for a couple of decades, relatively recently returned to school. AITA for thinking that spouse’s choice to announce intent to divorce on the Monday night of finals week and to respond to my request to take a beat with “I’ve thought about it and decided hell no” at the end of finals week on my birthday shows poor timing on their part?

In fairness, they would definitely want me to explain that I was flying out very early the next morning to spend time with my aging parent who lose a spouse a year ago, so… there really was no other way to time these convos.

In more fairness, the relationship has not been good for X number of months/years/etc.

I, a 30F, have spent the past 13 years caring for my dad. He is now 86M years old and is newly divorced. 2 years ago, my mom, 61F, decided to sign a lease for an apartment and discreetly move her items. Filed for a divorce and sent me a short text message saying she would not be returning home. Leaving me 100% responsible for him. This was 3 years prior to this. I spoke with her about moving out and purchasing a home. She told me that I was just running away from my problems.

Meanwhile, at this time, I was 25 years old with a four year-old who is on the spectrum. His father passed when he was 9 months old in a car accident. And I wanted my own space. I feel like I was just manipulated into staying long enough for her to leave. Now I am stuck with not only my dad and his extensive list of medical problems, but also my child who is on the spectrum.

I am also stuck providing for my older sibling 36F and her daughter 10F who is also on the spectrum. My sister 36F is the biggest mooch and she is extremely boy crazy. Gets lost in men and tends to forget about her daughter’s needs. Last year she even got herself admitted to the mental hospital. Because of a man. Luckily my job allowed me to use all of my sick hours. For the two weeks she was there.I later found out she was sending this man money.

She doesn’t help with any bills. And she only buys groceries that she wants to eat. This has become even more of a stressor lately because she made the decision to become a pescatarian. No one else in the house is one. Her daughter is not one meaning this creates another expense for me.

Recently my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and it is extremely debilitating for her. She has not even been able to take care of the home. She approaches the year after her lease was over for the apartment. And the worst part is this is a 30-minute drive away. And she is extremely needy. Which I understand because of the situation.

But I am burnt out. She calls me constantly at times when I should be sleeping. To go run errands. She gets upset with me when I send things through DoorDash or Uber Eats. But I do not have the time. I work 3rd shift and I am also my father’s legal caregiver. I’m averaging 3-4 hours of sleep a day. I haven't dated a man since my son's father. I've never got the chance to try to even move on. I'm losing my mind what should I do?

My (27F) ex (29F) and I broke up this year. It was not mutual, she ended things, and we were together for 8 years and engaged. We broke up after a massive argument when we had been on the rocks for a few months after she called off our wedding. She said she didn’t want to get married but would get married because I wanted to. It was a whole shit show. Overall, we just weren’t compatible anymore but I was determined to make love enough.

When we broke up, she said she wanted to stay living together and stay friends. I said no to both, and by the time I moved out a month later, we were not on speaking terms and any interactions we had were heated. After we got our lease takeover into our old place, I blocked her. I also removed most of her family from my social media, because she’s snooped through her family’s accounts before.

Recently, I’ve started getting calls from an unknown caller. This is her MO. Our relationship has been a tumultuous 8 years, so this isn’t the first time we’ve broken up and I’ve taken her back every time. I am incapable of having her in my life in a non-romantic way. Every time we reconnect, we start dating again. It doesn’t matter how staunchly I tell myself it’s not gonna happen, I always fall back in love with her. For this reason, I’ve completely cut her off.

My question is, after being in each other’s lives for so long, am I being unreasonable to not want to have any contact with her? I was another aunt to all her nieces and nephews, and a daughter to her parents. I spent every holiday with them. My family loved her like one of their own too, despite being across the country from us. Most of my friends would joke that we were married in all ways but legally. Am I being an asshole for cutting her off after such a long relationship? AITA for going no contact with her just because we broke up? I’m second guessing my choices every time I get one of those unknown calls.

AITA for refusing to drive my new boyfriend on road trips because he won't contribute financially?

I (28F) recently started dating a guy (29M), a PhD student from India, after experiencing an extreme heartbreak (from my breakup 5 months ago). He's nice, but I'm starting to feel like he's more interested in having a personal chauffeur than an actual girlfriend.

He doesn't have a driver's license or car, so whenever we go anywhere, I'm automatically the driver. He LOVES traveling and constantly talks about wanting to explore the state, visit springs, and take road trips several hours away. The problem? He never offers to contribute toward gas, and when I ask him to split expenses, he gets defensive and says, "But I'm a PhD student! We don't make much money, and I really want to travel!"

Here's the thing: I'm ALSO a PhD student living on a limited income. I can't afford to bankroll someone else's adventures. He also frequently asks me to drive him around town to various places without offering gas money and never bothers to even say 'thank you' the few times I have. Whenever we go out to eat, we split the bill, so it's not like he's reciprocating financially elsewhere.

Recently, he wanted me to drive us to some Springs, approximately two hours each way. I initially agreed but postponed because I wasn't feeling well. When he checked on me, I opened up about struggling emotionally, dealing with depression and some difficult experiences from the past year, including my breakup.

His response? "I think we should definitely go to so and so springs tomorrow. You will definitely feel good"

I felt like he completely glossed over what I'd shared because he was so determined to go tubing, and was only checking in on me so he could remind me of the trip.

I eventually explained that I have academic deadlines, need to prepare for a month-long trip to California, and unexpectedly had to spend $400 on brake repairs. I'm financially tapped out and simply cannot afford a four-hour round trip right now.

He responded, "Are you sure? Is it related with money? Coz I really wanna go to do tubing." He finally offered $40 toward gas, which I appreciated, but that wouldn't cover all the transportation and tubing expenses.

I politely explained that I'd happily take us after returning when I'm financially stable again. I even encouraged him to go with another friend or roommate in the meantime if he really wanted to go. I offered to do something inexpensive and local instead.

Another thing bothering me is that he recently looked through my older Instagram pictures and asked, "What happened? You used to be so thin in your pics." I've gained weight over the years, and that comment really hurt.

I'm beginning to notice that he seems much more enthusiastic about the places I can take him than about simply spending time together. I'm starting to feel taken advantage of.

I understand he's new to the country and wants to explore, but I don't think that should automatically become my financial responsibility. AITA here?

Long story short (highlight reel), I dated a friend of 6 years for a couple months. We discussed it thoroughly beforehand and agreed to preserve the friendship, no matter what happened.

Historically, he would disappear for chunks of time and did not handle stress or confrontation well (alleged mental/trauma response). While we were dating, he would occasionally bring up his ex, but I understand it was processing/something he was working through. We've all been there, at least I have. He promised it was different now, he wouldn't just disappear.

Couple months in, we're long distance courtesy of me getting a job opportunity. He admits to getting drinks, going back to a girl's hotel, and talking about getting it on, but swears nothing happened. I let it go. Jump ahead a couple weeks, he ditches mid conversation without explanation and returns 4hrs later saying his friend called and he needed to be there for her. Same week, his ex from a year ago reaches out and he entertains it out of "morbid curiosity". He asks for some space to figure out what to do and I give him a couple days of silence. When I reach out and ask if he's ready to discuss, he says sure and we have a text conversation where I try to problem solve and he essentially devalues our entire friendship/relationship. When asked if in a hypothetical situation, he could get back with her for a day, doomed to fail again, at the cost of our friendship, would it be worth it, he said yeah. So I call, he doesn't pick up. I leave a voicemail breaking up with him.

Couple months later, I'm in his hometown, ask to get beers to figure out if we want to/can preserve the friendship. We end up trying, and I actually get him a job opportunity to help further his career ambitions. We work together 2 months where all hell breaks lose. He's nasty and ignores me cuz he's obsessed with getting his ex back. I ignore him one day and ask him to not shit talk me within earshot. He calls me passive aggressive, tears up, and says he doesn't want to see, hear, or speak to me again.

We go our separate ways, I reach out afterwards to thank him and apologize, get blocked and silence for 4 months. He randomly texts back demanding I acknowledge the harm I caused and saying we can talk if I want to. He wants to know why I called him a coward and selfish almost a year prior when breaking up with him. Says "everything was good before you went scorthed earth." And wants me to "be accountable" for ignoring him that one day. A day later, he says he's looking for a job, but he'll be back with a proper reply when he has space. I send some contacts and offer to help if needed.

6 weeks of silence later, I text him "dude, show some respect." He replies "I will not be spoken to like this, consider conversation concluded and line severed."

Now, not my best moment, I told him off... how disrespectful, ungrateful, and rude he was to me. Essentially, do better, stop treating people like garbage.

He replied "This will be my final message to you. I hope someday you heal from everything."

Like...wtf? Am I not seeing something?

Basically, I (25M) met a girl (22F) at an event, and we hit it off.

Very important: she mentioned to me she was single.

We started talking regularly, and over the next month, we texted constantly. We had some common interests, and she seemed interested in me too. During that time, she shared a lot of personal things about her life and the difficulties she was going through, and I tried to be supportive.

About a week after we met, she told me she was already dating someone and wanted to clarify things between us. This surprised me because we had been texting nonstop, and she often sent me pictures of what she was doing throughout the day. I understood this as her telling me she only wanted to be friends.

I agreed to stay friends because I thought I could handle a platonic relationship. She also told me she was anxious and worried I would stop talking to her after that conversation. At the time, I wondered whether she was making me feel guilty for developing feelings for her, although I can't know if that was her intention.

We hung out a couple of times, including going to restaurants for dinner. I also gave her small chocolate gifts. She said nobody did something like that before to her and appreciated it very much. However, while these outings felt somewhat like dates to me, she saw them as normal hangouts between friends.

Last nights I realized I'm not comfortable staying like this and told her I want something else and I don't want to be in a friendzone situation. (I unfollowed her from everywhere)
She got mad at and she said she didn't friend zoned me and didn't understand my reaction.
I respectfully said that I'm looking for something else and I cannot continue like that since it was hurting me.

Was I immature telling her how I feel after saying we can be friends?

hi reddit, im having trouble figuring out if im just paranoid so i need to see what yall think. Im worried an ex of mine is shit talking me to mutual friends.

while we where dating he would shit talk some of his best friends (making me uncomfortable but i didnt want to fuck our relationship up over it) and sometimes even mutual friends but then id tell him to stop. When we broke up he sent me a bunch of bs about how i was being immature and i was stealing his friends (this was because i said i didnt want to be his friend after like a week so i said i would be ignoring him at events) a couple months later i found out from a mutual friend he had told her he was being calm and reasonable and i was being immature and petty.

so basically he was being a hypocrite since he said i was stealing friends then shit talking me. I also just found out that a couple ppl i know less but we still know mutually also got a similar story from him. ive noticed a couple of our mutual friends that i knew first and was closer to have started being more distant and hanging out with him more. im worried hes been shit talking me to our friends and i cant tell if im pulling that paranoia out of my ass.

Please tell me if you think its possible he is or if im crazy :) (for extra context he dumped me btw then tried to give me a hug and say i should talk to my family before we revisit the idea of being friends again less than 24h later) 

TL;DR: Ex-boyfriend used to talk bad about his friends while we dated. Now that we broke up, friends are acting distant, and I found out he's been framing me as immature to mutuals. Am I being paranoid, or is he likely bad-mouthing me?

My partner (who drives) and I live together. I don't drive, so I asked if they'd be free later today to grab one quick item from Target (5 mins away). They said they weren't sure if they'd have time later. I said, "kk, just let me know if your schedule opens up later." Instead, they replied, "Let's just get it over with now." I thanked them, and we went. I got only the one item as promised and even offered to buy them anything they need while we were there (they declined).

On the drive home, they snapped and aggressively berated me. They accused me of "insisting" on going and "not letting it go." They also complained they could've used that time to get food, even though their favorite fast food spot is literally right next to Target and they could have easily stopped there.

I'm very confused because I never demanded we go immediately. Why offer to do something only to get angry at me for accepting? Did I misread something here? Where did I go wrong?

TL;DR: Asked my partner to hit up Target later. They offered to go right away, I agreed, and then they angrily berated me on the drive back.

Today was my girlfriend and I’s one-year anniversary. We had planned to go shopping together and let each other pick out our own gifts, which was something we had both agreed on. Recently, I’ve gotten into building Gundam model kits, and I had made it pretty clear that was what I wanted. I’ve never really gotten to pick out my own gift before, so I was genuinely excited about it. I also know she enjoys choosing her own gifts, which is why I thought the plan would be perfect for both of us.
To my surprise, she had already bought me a dinosaur charm for a chain that already has other charms on it. I was still grateful that she had gotten me something, and I took her to get the gifts she wanted. Afterward, I asked if we were ready to go get the model kit I had been looking forward to. She responded by saying, “Let’s call it even because I got you that charm.” I didn’t want to seem ungrateful, so I kept my thoughts to myself at first.
We ended up sitting in the parking lot in complete silence for about 30 minutes before I finally asked, “So we aren’t getting the model kit?” That started an argument because she felt like I wasn’t showing enough appreciation for the gift she had gotten me. I understand why she might have felt that way, but I genuinely was grateful for the charm. I was just disappointed because I thought we had already agreed on how we were going to exchange gifts.
For context, I had spent $150 out of the $200 in my bank account on her gifts, along with a bunch of snacks and flowers. I wasn’t expecting her to spend the same amount on me, and it wasn’t about how much money she spent. I was excited about picking out something I had wanted for a while, and I had even been telling people that my girlfriend was going to get me the model kit.
When we got home, my parents asked where the model kit was, and all I could tell them was that the store didn’t have it. The truth is that I felt embarrassed and disappointed because the plans we had made didn’t happen. I appreciate that my girlfriend thought of me and got me a gift, but I also feel like what I had been excited about didn’t really matter to her. I can understand why she thought I was being ungrateful, but I never intended to make her feel that way.
AITA for being disappointed about not getting the gift we had agreed on, even though I appreciated what she got me?

This seems to be a common issue for me. I flirt too hard but it’s doesn’t even feel like flirting to me.

I became friends with Sam we’re like 10 years apart in age and she’s 19. We come from similar backgrounds culture-wise and I hit on her first and invited her out on a date… this was before I knew Sam had a bf, family issues, and mental problems. Fast forward, I find out she has a boy friend so I go my separate way. Sam starts texting me like a month-ish later wanting to hang out and so we go and hang out. I’m a natural romantic and unfortunately feelings arise…

This whole time we’ve been hanging out she’s basically been trama dumpling and I’m just there to provide her an ear so she feels heard. Sam is also on several different medications and hinted at wanting me to make some more moves romance-wise?

It was at this point I decided to distance myself from her because 1. She has a bf. 2. She has only one full year as a legal adult. 3. Shes lowkey crazy and has family issues. 4. She’s projecting onto me what she sees in me and not who I really am. (I may have a slight hint of moral OCD).

Ultimately, with the advice of friends and family I’ve decided to distance myself from her and one week later she’s texting me again wanting to talk and hang out. Most we did was snuggle up a little bit.

I can’t fix her, I don’t want to stick my dick in crazy, and all the good people I know are against it. Reddit please help.

AITA for getting mad at my husband for saving NSFW pictures of women from Reddit?

Throwaway account for privacy reasons.

I (25F) am married to my husband (30M), and I’m honestly starting to question whether I’m being unreasonable about this.

Ever since we’ve known each other, my husband has had a Reddit account that he uses to look at porn, and he saves NSFW pictures of women. The problem is that these pictures often end up showing in his computer’s photo gallery, so I end up coming across them without even looking for them.

This has been an ongoing issue throughout our relationship because it genuinely hurts my feelings. What makes it worse is that he saved a bunch of these pictures when I was pregnant and postpartum. That was already a vulnerable time for me, and seeing him saving pictures of other women during that period really affected me.

I’ve tried explaining to him how I feel, but I don’t feel like he understands where I’m coming from. It’s not just about seeing a random NSFW picture. It’s the fact that he’s actively saving these pictures, that they keep popping up where I can see them, and that I’ve repeatedly expressed how much it hurts me.

I’m not trying to say that my husband isn’t allowed to find other women attractive, but I feel hurt by this particular behavior, and I don’t know how to get him to understand that.

At this point, I’m frustrated because it feels like my feelings aren’t being taken seriously. But I also wonder if I’m being unreasonable for caring this much about porn when we’re married.

So, Reddit, AITA for getting upset with my husband over this? Am I being insecure, or is it reasonable to be hurt by something that has repeatedly affected me and my relationship?

So basically one of my bf and I’s good friends suddenly passed away last week. It has been awful and a lot of feelings all around. My bf and his old friend group have really came together during this and started hanging out again to be there for each other. One of these people being a girl he used to sleep with who reallyyy liked him. She actually texted me at the beginning of our relationship saying how horrible he is and has been very mean to me in every interaction we’ve had. Well flash forward to now they have been in groups together and I have accepted it given the circumstances. Except now my bf is planning to have everyone over tomorrow and I said I did not feel comfortable with her being at his house. His friends of course think I’m just a controlling bitch. I’m not trying to be insensitive but can’t she just sit out on this one? AITAH???

My bf is great! But. (23m) is always late. Not by hours! That's hella rude and would be a dealbreaker. But just like 5-20 minutes usually. This time it was 45 minutes to my dad's birthday which kind of felt embarassing? I dont know why, lol. I felt judged on his behalf. He said he got busy mid video game and he couldn't abandon his raid team. I said to him, "Hey, I'd really appreciate if you could try to be on time, today yup but just in general". He told me - I was making a mountain out of a molehill and that expecting him to value my dad's birthday when I had plans with my friends on his dad's birthday is a double standard. - that bringing up that he's usually 5 to 20 (by saying in general) is nitpicking. Ik it isn't that big a deal.

Aita for a) expecting him to go to my dad's bday b) bringing up the other times given it's usually under 20 min.