r/AITAH • u/Secure-Ad5711 • 1d ago
AITAH for calling my cousin an oompa loompa
Last week, my cousin (M24) was making fun of me (M22) for having a ton of stuffed animals in my car. As someone with Autism I explained to him they make me feel not lonely. He then started calling me girly and that girls don’t like “girly” dudes. I then told him girls wouldn’t want to be with someone who looks like an oompa loompa. After that he blocked me on all social medias and then told his parents that I was bullying him. Did I go too far?
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u/HUNGWHITEBOI25 1d ago
Ask your family why your loser of a cousin can dish it out but cant handle it😂😂
NTA
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u/SuperFormal3052 1d ago
Wait, wait, wait... a 24-year-old man tattled on his cousin... to his parents? HAHAHAHAHAHA! What an immature child. And HE has the nerve to make fun of YOU? Bravo. NTA.
Oompa Loompa doompety doo!
I've got a Reddit doozie for you!
Oompa Loompa doompety dee!
If you are wise, you'll listen to me!
What do you do when your cousin's a twit?
Mocking and teasing and being a shit?
Give him a taste of his own me-di-cine!
Tell him the girls like men... more... thin!
They won't like the look of him!
Oompa Loompa doompety docks!
In glass houses, never throw rocks!
Bully the bullies--make them cry, too!
Like the Oompa Loompa doompety do!
Doompety doooo!
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u/RoxxieRoxx1128 1d ago
Somebody pay this person. Please. Give them money. I'm broke but they deserve money for this gem.
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u/Rosietheriveter15 1d ago
Cannot tell a lie- just sang this to my husband. He applauds you
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u/NobleKorhedron 1d ago
Not married, but found this hilarious.
I also agree, 99% of the time you don't tell a girl what she wants - the 1% where you might be able to is helping choose her D&D class...
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u/Comfortable-Fall1419 1d ago
NTA. He's mocking your autism and then presuming he's NT he cant take it being dished back out.
Hes also 24 and should grow the F up.
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u/OrnerySnoflake Political 1d ago
I would assume 24 is too old to be mocking/ insulting someone’s mental health diagnosis; but then again I’m 40 and it seems my generation’s 24 was much more emotionally intelligent than this generation’s 24.
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u/cman_yall 1d ago
I dunno about the 24 year olds, but today's kids are WAY more accepting of disabilities than I remember it being like when I (nearly 50) was a kid.
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u/thehobbyqueer 1d ago
Not sure I agree w that. Most of the 40 year olds I know are also the biggest assholes I know. From how they talk about their childhoods and college days, too, seems like they're better now than before...
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u/DConstructed 1d ago
FWIW you might meet a woman with a larger plushie collection than you. Then your problem will be “our back seat is so full I can’t see out the rear window”.
NTA. He bullied you. But if you wanted to be correct you should have pointed out that girls will sometimes date Oompha Loomphas but won’t date guys who tell girls what girls want. Girls decide that for themselves. So do women in their 20s.
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u/VampiresKitten 1d ago edited 18h ago
I would let your family know he was bullying you first and multiple ways. You just lashed out because of his insult and that was the consequence of that. Don't let that bully get away with making you out to be the bad guy.
He started it and you reacted and "being the bigger person", when it comes to a bully, is exactly how they keep getting away with their behavior. You stood up for yourself and he needed a life lesson. You are sorry his feelings got hurt but he hurt yours first and if he can dish it, he better be able to take it right back.
Also, you are just fine that he blocked you. He owes you the first apology, and you doubt he will apologize first and will just continue playing the victim instead of the fire starter.
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u/Helena-Handbasket89 1d ago
INFO: Does he look like an Oompa Loompa?
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u/Yung_SenseiDyn78 1d ago
Why did you think he went straight to that comeback? He probably does 😂
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u/Diasies_inMyHair 1d ago
No. He was attempting to bully you. All you did was deliver a clap-back in kind. How were you supposed to knowt that he's the type who can't take what he wants to dish out? And why should it be your problem in any case.
Don't worry about being blocked on Social Media. Your generation makes too much of that sort of thing and it isn't healthy for you.
NTA - it was a form of self-defense against a would-be bully.
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u/Proper-District8608 1d ago
Ehh. Cousin was being an arse but OP clapped back with something about his physical appearance. Truthfully id have to see exchange if cousin was pushing it and or just insulted as he strapped his seatbelt on, saying it girly looking or if he was pushing it over long car ride.
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u/No_Builder7010 1d ago
He went crying to mommy? At thanksgiving, be sure to tell him girls don't like a Mama's boy.
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u/No-Relationship-8724 1d ago
A 24 year old male told his parents you were bullying him? I repeat 24 YEAR OLD MALE? 😂😂😂😂
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u/theoddfind 1d ago
Both of them of fucking idiots.
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u/Robsrev 1d ago
Why both of them?
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u/cuchulainn1984 1d ago
because one is whinging to his parents at 24 years old, and the other thinks that he himself might be the AH for giving shit back to his dumbass tiny cousin at 22 years old.
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u/Robsrev 1d ago
Nah, you're definitely allowed to defend yourself and clip back when being attacked like that. Cousin is an AH, not OP.
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u/cuchulainn1984 1d ago
i dont think you understood me, i meant he is not an ah for giving it back but is a dumbass for even having to ask, i was mostly joking anyway.
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u/Real_Life_Sushiroll 1d ago
As an autistic person, you're kinda just being a dick. We ask these questions because we genuinely do not know what is acceptable in many social situations. Joke or not, it sucks seeing comments like the ones you have made here.
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u/cuchulainn1984 1d ago
As an autistic person myself, i don't care what you think of my joke.
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u/NowWithMoreChocolate 1d ago
NTA
If he's got a problem with the stuffed animals then UH OH he's lost car privileges.
Sounds like you're better off without him in your life. He "bullied" you first if either of these "insults" count as bullying. At least yours didn't come across homophobic.
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u/SinceWayLastMay 1d ago
I can’t imagine being 24 and telling my mommy and daddy that my cousin said something mean to me
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u/ProbablyNotPresent 1d ago
if someone is gonna be an ugly fuck and try give you shit then they can't complain when you throw some insults back
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u/Real_Life_Sushiroll 1d ago
Sounds like your cousin is an insecure manosphere incel guy.
I can tell you right now, a lot of us (women) won't care. If anything a lot of us would find it cute.
I also may be biased since I have over 100 plushies.
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u/Nervous_Explorer_898 1d ago
He told his mommy and daddy on you? 😂 Do not let him live that down next time you see him. NTA.
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u/toktik27 1d ago
NTA, you gave him a taste of his own medicine and he couldn't hang. Your response was legendary, and I will be using it in the future.
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u/ghast123 1d ago
Just so you know, I'm a 38 year old woman and I have more stuffed animals than I can count and I'm not autistic.
Dont ever feel bad about innocuous things which give you comfort. And anyone who makes you feel bad sucks.
Nta.
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u/Yung_SenseiDyn78 1d ago
😂😂😂 Your cousin should understand that you don't dish it out if you can't take it. Both of you are AH.
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u/Secure-Ad5711 1d ago
my mom told me the same thing she was like “You shouldn’t have added fuel to the fire now you’re part of the problem”
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u/quandjereveauxloups 1d ago
Sorry, but your mom is full of shit. She's basically telling you it's ok for people to pick on you and you just have to take it for some noble reason. It's bullshit.
You're not an AH at all, but your cousin needs to grow the fuck up.
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u/Simply_Toast 1d ago
I bet mom thinks that if her child is bullied enough they will transform into 'normal' or some bullshit.
my mom was like that
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u/quandjereveauxloups 1d ago
That's horrible. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.
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u/Simply_Toast 1d ago
I'm still here, and if I can help One person avoid the pain, I'll call it good.
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u/GasRepresentative246 1d ago
Nah, you are good, bud. Fuck that "just shut up and take it" attitude from your Ma.
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u/Universal_mammal 1d ago
Nuh uh, you are NTA here. He was bullying you and needed to be taken down a peg. If you hadn't, he would have kept up the insults every time he saw you. Your one comment simply took out the trash from your life. When/ if you see him again, he might not be so quick to insult you. If he does, play the oompah loompah song quietly on your phone 😂
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u/theDagman 1d ago
NTA - If you did not stop him with your comment, he'd have kept going thinking what he was doing was okay and that he was funny. You checked him. If you follow your mother's advice, you will go through life as everyone's doormat. You have to stand up for yourself from time to time, so that others will not use or abuse you. Take the fact that he blocked you as a win. No one needs his kind of energy in their lives.
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u/Simply_Toast 1d ago
So, mom is defending the bully.
This is why people end up cutting off family.
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u/Secure-Ad5711 1d ago
She said both of us are at fault
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u/Simply_Toast 1d ago
she's bullying you.
that's her defending Her own behavior.
r/raisedbynarcissists Opened my eyes.my only regret was not finding it before my mother was dying.
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u/I_wanna_be_anemone 1d ago
To follow the metaphor: You didn’t add fuel to the fire you threw water on an idiot trying to set you on fire. A grown man ran home to cry his mommy and daddy because the disabled person he was bullying said mean words back.
If he doesn’t want his feelings hurt he shouldn’t be a dick. That is the lesson to be learned here. You defended yourself, the trash took itself out. You aren’t part of the problem and your mom is an enabler of a misogynistic man baby.
Finally, no self respecting woman would care if he looked like an Oompa Loompa, but they would care about him being a condescending sexist asshole. NTA
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u/DescriptionFew6118 1d ago edited 1d ago
Nta. Am I the only one who wants to see a picture of the Oompa Loompa.
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u/ezra_barwell 1d ago
NTA. What a baby this cousin is. Running to parents at 24yo! That is not normal. Add that to why women would not find him attractive. Whining to parents about teasing as an adult. FFS.
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u/mayunever 20h ago
If he resembles an Oompa Loompa, then it's fair comment. I bet he looked in the mirror when he got home and reviewed his tanning bed habits.
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u/Syndicalist_Vegan 1d ago
Telling your parents that you are being bullied are 22 is so fucking funny. What a baby. NTA OP, keep calling him an oompa loompa and maybe hell sing a somg
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u/24possumsinacoat 1d ago
NTA. Your cousin is 24 years old, an adult man, and he ran to his parents bc you "bullied" him??? Yikes on bikes. If anyone asks you about it, tell them he was bullying you for being autistic so you shot one insult back to see how he liked it.
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u/One-Employee9235 1d ago
I'm going to have to see a picture of your cousin before I can render a judgment. Are we talking old school Oompa Loompa?
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u/Rosietheriveter15 1d ago
NTA- but I certainly hope you meant Gene Wilder Oompa Loompas & not Johnny Depp Oompa Loompas… or maybe the other way around bc Gene’s Oompa Loompas rocked & Johnny Depps failed miserable. It would be more insulting to be called a JD Oompa Loomp
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u/LayaElisabeth 1d ago
Just wanted to say;
Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-da, Given good manners, you will go far. You will live in happiness too, Like the oompa loompa do-ba-dee-doo. Sing that to your cousin if you see him again :p
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u/Fragile_reddit_mods 1d ago
Imagine being 22 and reporting someone to your parents. Absolute melt.
NTA
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u/Arielmika 1d ago
Nah bro, that guy sounds like he has major insecurities. Besides, it’s like calling someone a nincompoop or knucklehead.
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u/Newt-Abject 1d ago
NTA for all the reasons everyone listed. And for what it's worth, a car full of plushies is probably far more attractive to a kind, sensitive woman, because many women value vulnerability, honesty, and safety. Explaining to a woman why you have those in your car will probably endear you to a nice girl.
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u/Aggravating-Emu-2535 1d ago
A 24 year old man was bullying an autistic man and got mad you stood up for yourself? Jeez talk about some thin skin
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u/ShannaraRose 1d ago
NTA. Bullies who think it funny when they do it and then run home to cry to mommy when someone answers back in the same fashion are truly pitiable excuses for human beings.
He's 24? Oh, wow. I would've said 4 or 5 from the behavior.
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u/Simply_Toast 1d ago
NTA and welcome to the world of two different rules systems. One for folks like your cousin, the NT, and one for us over here in Autistic land.
There really no way you can win.
I'm over apologizing for existing, but, you might not be. You have choices. Apologize, with the full knowledge that he's going to bully you for the rest of your entire fucking life. Or tell him to get wrecked, and know that a chunk of the family will defend him forever, because he's 'normal'
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u/unicorn_in_a_can 1d ago
nta
sounds he bullied you first, and didnt like the taste of his own medicine
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u/tedivertire 1d ago
Nta. He's clearly a meanie beanie, which is much worse than looking like an oompa loompa. He's also a lily-livered poltroon... completely blocking someone for such a slight criticism is soooo lame.
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u/sammy_vldz 1d ago
this made me laugh out loud. ngl oompa loompa is fouuulll twin 😭
NTA. man cried to his parents after the one time you hit him back with his childish “jokes”, whole vibe is screaming immature.
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u/Iplaythebaboon 1d ago
NTA he was mean first and couldn’t handle you giving the same energy back.
A lot of my friends have stuffed animals and we’re older than you btw
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u/TheeBoredB 1d ago
Genuinely don't understand all the ESH. Easily NTA. Bro started it unprovoked. If he can't handle it, maybe next time he shouldn't instigate. Also 24 yo man first instinct is to cry to Mommy.
NTA
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u/yesmrspankysir 1d ago
NTA: You handed back the same negative energy he was throwing at you and couldn't handle it. Bullies don't like it when you hit their weak spots and cave like a house of cards when you do
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u/KittiesRule1968 1d ago
NTA, my nest friend's brother looked like one and we never hesitated to remind him. We insulted each other all the time.
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u/ZoneNo5065 1d ago
Well that all depends on how accurate you were with your insult. Is his skin orange? Is his hair green? Is he just really short?
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u/Secure-Ad5711 1d ago
he look like a ball
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u/sparksgirl1223 1d ago
Well see there's your problem.
The one who looked like a ball was Violet Beauregard.
The oompa loompas looked like dancing rectangles.
You need to brush up on your shape recognition 😂 (ps I'm teasing)
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u/No_Artichoke7180 1d ago
Does he make chocolate for scam wages? Look anyone who can hurl an insult risks a comeback. He's upset because he's fucking oompa loompa who can't even get a job in a chocolate factory. I think you should tell his mom that her oompa loompa ass son should watch himself and fuck all the way off. If she is on his side she's a bad mom, because she raised a little bitch who can dish it out and can't take it..... Like actually say that
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1d ago
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u/Secure-Ad5711 1d ago
The only thing I did wrong was add fuel to the fire. That’s what my mom said. If you’re out here swearing to other people on the internet, maybe you should grow up.
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1d ago
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u/Secure-Ad5711 1d ago
How do you get so mad over this? I didn’t really do anything to you besides implying to you that swearing is childish.
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1d ago
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u/Secure-Ad5711 1d ago
Still unnecessarily mad and disrespectful.
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u/theoddfind 1d ago
I think you need to grow up and act like an adult. Until then, the adult world shall leave you behind.
Im not mad in the least, you simply represent something that I have no time for. You don't have to speak with me, go talk to your mom. One day she won't be there for you and you might have to act like an adult. Grow up.
That was pretty respectful way of saying stop acting like a toddler. Nobody likes it.
They tolerate you, smile to your face and roll their eyes when you turn your back. I dont...I tell you to your face...and you whine that Im rude. Grow up.
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u/Master-Use-2061 1d ago
found the cousin
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u/Secure-Ad5711 1d ago
It’s literally not that deep, no need to curse at someone. Grow up.
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u/theoddfind 1d ago
Yet you felt the need to create a post on Reddit about it. For you, apparently its deep.
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u/Secure-Ad5711 1d ago
Ofc it would be deep, it involves my family? Don’t know why it’s deep for you.
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u/KnowsIittle 22h ago
YTA and that's okay. The alternative is to accept the abuse and do nothing. Instead sometimes you have to be the Asshole to stand up for yourself.
You stood up for yourself and he didn't like how that felt.
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u/Curious_Bookworm21 1d ago
Nope, NTA. If your cousin is going to insult someone, he needs to be prepared for the blowback.
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u/Loreo1964 1d ago
He was bullying you first. Let him block you! You don't need to be in contact with a jerk like that.
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u/bethliza 1d ago
You can’t choose your family. NTA and I hope you can limit interactions and/or keep the peace when you meet
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u/Blamdomonis 1d ago
Based on his comments leading up to yours, I'm going to say NTA. He has a big mouth, and you cut him down to size. He deserved it.
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u/henrikhakan 1d ago
Hey play stupid games, win stupid prizes. That's 1-0 op. Also there are plenty of women who like girly dudes.
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u/Oh_Waddup 1d ago
NTA. A 24 year old whining to mommy about being bullied? Lmao. Now you have more ammo to fire at him if he ever tries to be an asshole again.
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u/Existing_Arm_2340 1d ago
NTA - your cousin wants to dish rude comments but can't take them. Good on you OP! He deserved that
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u/I_love_Britpoptarts 1d ago edited 1d ago
NTA. Sounds like you did fine in this exchange because after the bully tried to make you feel bad, he cried about it when you clapped back (pretty mildly, too) and blocked you. Plus, you still have your plushies that make you feel happy, and which don't hurt anyone. #winning
Also too, women like kind and thoughtful men who actually like and respect women, and they like men who aren't so rigid and uptight about upholding strict gender roles in every single interaction with other human beings. Imagine how tedious Cousin's life must be if he has to put everything he does and enjoys through some sort of internal "but is this MANLY ENOUGH?" stress test instead of just, IDK, doing activities he likes, wearing what he likes, listening to music he likes, playing games he likes, consuming media he likes, and so forth. Who is he performing masculinity for, that he felt the need to try to shame you for not performing it as strenuously and ardently as he apparently needs to? Other dudes? Dudes you don't even know? Dudes whose opinions mean less than nothing to you? Deeply weird behavior, Cousin. All of this toxic weirdness got revealed because your stuffed animals made him feel insecure or confused or something and he had to confront you about it.
While he's fixated on what is "girly" or "not girly," how "girly" was it when he boo-hooed to mummy and daddy? (To be fair, I'm a woman who, in her adult life, cries maybe on average once a year. Like, I didn't cry when I broke most of the bones from my knees on down bilaterally, I just gutted up and splinted my worse leg with an umbrella and a scarf, and arranged a ride to the ER. When I do cry, it is usually some stupid advertisement with people being kind and loving to each other (direct hit in my soft spot!) -- or some REALLY EXTREME stressor -- that will maybe have me squeezing out a tear or two, so I guess I'm not really "girly." But I bet Cousin thinks crying and tattling is "girly" behavior, doesn't he?)
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u/PicklesMcpickle 1d ago
NTA- to your cousin.
(Perhaps for treating oompa loompa as an insult. With all they've given to our candy companies. )
As a invisible autistic child of the '80s, the plushie thing is hilarious to me as an adult.
Because often we weren't given coping strategies. We were given a plushie and told to be quiet. That the plushie would protect us.
And then at some life stages and adult you buy them for yourself. For your own comfort. I heard an uncle of mine ranting about his kids wasting money on plushies.
But if you hug a plushie, yeah feels like a hug. And that's comforting.
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u/GJion 1d ago
NTA. HE was bullying YOU. You did not ask for his opinion on your stuffed animals in your car.
You told him nicely that they make you feel less lonely. And before anyone gets on your case, plenty of women and men of ALL ages have stuffed animals for lots of reasons. (See below for RL examples*)
Back to your situation. HE calls you "Girly" and bullies YOU with the rest of what he said. And you were hurt. He pushed your buttons and kept on until you called him a name for a group of very hard workers.
And he went home "crying" to his parents.
He is a jerk.
- Other reasons people I know have stuffed animals... And some of them are NOT "girly".
My wife has stuffed dogs because they are soft and they remind us of our dogs ... Past and present. Sometimes when she has to go to the hospital, we can't bring our dogs. Instead we bring stuffed dogs so she won't feel alone.
My daughter is an adult now. Ever since she was a toddler, she collected dogs and especially stuffed toys. Her speciality are dalmatians. When the movie came out she had 147 of them and all had unique names. And you could try to switch them up. But she could tell. She also has real dalmatians.
Amalee, a singer and streamer, has sooo many stuffies and plushies. So does Lilly Ke, another famous VA and singer.
I give my sister, who is in her 40's, a Snoopy dog plushy because our family rescued a beagle when my sister was born. When I went off to college, Snoopy became her Velcro dog. And she loves her stuffed animals. She is a psychologist and nurse and counselor. Her family loves her stuffed animals.
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u/Vivianca_Osley 1d ago
Nta also I would love to hear about some of your stuffies if you're willing to share. I too have a nice collection of stuffed shrimps and horses and you know what my bf loves it. Don't let anyone get you down! Good luck out there my fellow human 💕
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u/Disturbedcreate 1d ago
im sorry im cracking tf up and no like if they wanna make fun of you like they better be able to take it back
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u/EasilyStartledRabbit 5h ago
Gently ESH. These kinda comebacks are really missing the point. Obviously your cousin is the biggest asshole here, but did you really need to make it out about his body type? "Ha ha let's laugh at the fat fuck" except now every fat person falls under that scope. Why not say girls don't want to date immature loser assholes who are clearly insecure?
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u/Stillwater-Scorp1381 1d ago edited 1d ago
The fact that a 24 year-old ran to his parents to whine about this speaks volumes to me and you decided to ask if insulting someone is asshole behavior. You’re both too old to act like that. ESH
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u/Artistic_Reference_5 1d ago
ESH but congrats on getting that AH to block you! Now you don't have to deal with him.
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u/Beautiful-Ad-7616 1d ago
As someone who gets called an oompa loompa by a friend because im short, its not that serious. However im plenty okay with my height he might not be as comfortable in his own body. But honestly ESH, neither of you acted your age in this moment. Tattletailing at 24 is incredibly immature and name calling at 22 or 24 is also just as immature if its not done in a joking manner.
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u/Hennessey_carter 1d ago
What? Okay, you both are grown ass men, you both are the asshole, and you both would benefit from growing tf up. This is so dumb.
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u/ToggleMoreOptions 1d ago
You dont say why you chose oompa loompa out of all the insults nor why it was insulting to him.
If he has dwarfism and teased you lightly about your choice of decor, that would make you TAH
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u/SuperFormal3052 1d ago
It's because he has orange skin, a round body, and stupid-looking hair. In truth, given that description, there's a far worse thing OP could have called him.
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u/Hairy-Proof8504 1d ago
Yes, you are the AH. Do you LIVE in your car??? How much time do you spend that to get 'lonely'???
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u/Secure-Ad5711 1d ago
Am I not allowed to have stuffed animals in my car?
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u/Hairy-Proof8504 1d ago
Did I state you weren't allowed to have stuffed animals in your car????? So you ask that & just ignore the rest. Still the AH.
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u/SuperFormal3052 1d ago
Hairy-Proof8504 is clearly the man-child cousin.
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u/Hairy-Proof8504 1d ago
Fuck off.
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u/Secure-Ad5711 1d ago
Me feeling lonely doesn’t even mean that I am. You’re being unnecessarily rude as well. No need to curse at anyone who hasn’t even done anything to you.
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u/NurseDave8 1d ago
No, as my generation used to say: Don't dish it out if you can't take it. Dude is a little whiney b*tch.