Something to look forward to-Impact !

Come on Apophis, you can do eet!

Been depressed/suicidal since my early teens and I’m 30. Did therapy on and off through the years, tried antidepressants but nothing worked. Can I just not be helped? I even ate healthy and lost 80 pounds last year into this year and I still feel like shit. I’m not confident or happy with my body and I’m worse mentally now than when I started my diet. Have no partner or friends and just work and sleep and that’s it. Literally just living to die. Just can’t do it anymore. If I’m 30 and still not “normal” then what reason do I have to live? Nothing to look forward to, just work, sleep, work, sleep, work, sleep. The only thing I care about in the world is not being in miserable fucking pain, that’s all I want, that’s all I want, I wanna wake up tomorrow not in miserable fucking pain, that’s all I want.