r/whatisit • • 4h ago

New, what is it? What is this thing.

11.1k Upvotes

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92

u/mazes_and_roses 4h ago

What the fuck country do you live in?! Glad I don't have things like that running around in Idaho?

95

u/ldr97266 4h ago

Oh yes you do!

• Spotted Pine Sawyer / Whitespotted Sawyer (Monochamus scutellatus): A large, native dark beetle with very long antennae and a distinct white spot behind the head. People often confuse it with the invasive Asian longhorned beetle, but the native sawyer has that characteristic single white dot.

• Ponderous Borer (Ergates spiculatus): A very large, reddish-brown or brownish beetle with spiky margins on the thorax. Large specimens found around urban areas like Boise are frequently ponderous borers or pine sawyers.

• Banded Alder Borer (Rosalia funebris): A striking black-and-white banded longhorn beetle found in the region.

79

u/GoBucks513 3h ago

Man, it sucks I need to start wearing readers. I thought that last one saud Banded Anal Borer at first, and nobody wants an infestation of those bastards!

45

u/Real-DrUnKbAsTeRd 3h ago

1

u/GoBucks513 34m ago

Uh, this meme doesn't fit, homie.

5

u/ANITA-HANCHOB 3h ago

Welcome to old age, best advice; buy 10 pairs you will lose/break/misplace (memory).

4

u/RHX_Thain 3h ago

10 pairs of anal borers sounds a bit decadent.

1

u/Cali-Cornflakes 3h ago

That’s a lot of anal..

1

u/lexiconhuka 2h ago

Or a fun weekend

1

u/ANITA-HANCHOB 25m ago

This is the way

2

u/Stewart_Games 2h ago

And remember if you've lost your glasses check your top head you probably just left them resting up there.

6

u/Interesting_Ad_3583 3h ago

Well, I wouldn’t say nobody

5

u/MentalTumbleweed7434 3h ago

Honestly fair

5

u/Captain_StarLight1 3h ago

I mean… you could make it one of those if you were brave enough…

4

u/Air_Jordache 3h ago

You mean it's not a Ponderous Boner?

3

u/Ok_Look1003 3h ago

Speak for yourself.

3

u/lololollieki 3h ago

😂😂😂

3

u/FOMOerotica 3h ago

That was my nickname in highschool!

1

u/RogueGenX 3h ago

Then why did we all call you Road Apple?

1

u/FOMOerotica 3h ago

Because I was tragically hip?

2

u/RogueGenX 3h ago

Canadian is the best I’ll give you

2

u/wlake82 3h ago

If it's any consolation, I had to graduate to trifocules a few years ago.

2

u/sincubus33 3h ago

nah that would be less bad than the banded alder borer

2

u/actual-trevor 3h ago

I believe what you were thinking of looks more like this.

2

u/Quirky-Astronaut-134 3h ago

😅😂🤣😂😅

2

u/Menacing_mouse_421 1h ago

Goddamn you!!!!!! Lmfao!!! This made me lol. I needed that! I had to recently put down my 16.5 year old Aussie and I needed a good laugh!!! Thanx!

2

u/DarkestFiction 1h ago

Gives new meaning to "buggering"

2

u/Char_siu_for_you 17m ago

Buy some readers right now. Get a multi pack and stash them around your house. It’ll make your life immediately better.

1

u/GoBucks513 13m ago

Picked some up at Walgreens an hour ago when I was there to get some nail polish remover. It's amazing how much easier it is to see small parts I'm working on in my shop!

1

u/Balloon_Fan 3h ago

Hey now, don't kink-shame!

1

u/VerbalGuinea 3h ago

There’s nothing boring about that.

1

u/TrainingSword 2h ago

Speak for yourself. There’s 8.4 billion people on the planet. It’s got to be someone’s fetish

1

u/Original-Taste7723 2h ago

Yeah I like the Unbanded Anal Borer. It also comes in Paisley.

1

u/Ok_Farmer_6033 2h ago

beaded anal borer 

20

u/StrangeGlyceride 3h ago

The Ponderosa Borer beetles are my local DC-10 in the Sierra Nevada mountains. They are really cool on the ground. When they take to the air I feel my soul exits my body through my butt.

3

u/whoamdave 3h ago

Are you certain there isn't a Kappa in your local waterway? Protect your Shirikodama people!

2

u/lminer123 2h ago

The unassuming Loathsome Dung Eater: 👀

3

u/Kriieod 2h ago

A big old Ponderosa was hovering around our FTX site looking for a site to land, and in one of those glorious no words needed ESP moments, a couple of our Air Assault trained NCOs started doing helicopter EZ landing hand and arm signals for it and it obliged landing right in the middle of our group, where everyone else caught on to the joke and immediately ran and went prone in 360 security around it. One of my favorite military memories.

1

u/StrangeGlyceride 51m ago

This is an excellent service story. Very nice.

2

u/Eremenkism 3h ago

Best DC-10 slander I've heard in a long while, respect

2

u/Elegant_Situation285 3h ago

that's beautiful poetry.

thanks for sharing.

6

u/LumpyArbuckleTV 3h ago

None of these look like that monster.

3

u/utzutzutzpro 3h ago

I researched them - they all look okayish. Like big beetles.

This here... this looks terrifying and aggressive. And so much bigger.

2

u/No_Necessary5542 3h ago

You just ruined that guys day. Now do Ohio

2

u/Extension-Alps-6903 3h ago

Thanks I hated that

2

u/BlinkOnce4me 3h ago

There is no pine Sawyer bettle this large. And it isn't a ponderous borer.

This is fake.

1

u/indieplants 3h ago

what are you saying is fake, the above list or the video? 😭

1

u/BlinkOnce4me 2h ago

The video is fake and his list is of real beetles which have nothing to do with the video

1

u/indieplants 2h ago

the video isn't fake, it's a real beetle but the perspective makes it look huge. it's a couple inches and the list does have sizeable beetles

you can see how it compares to the person's fingers but it's real! 

this is a dried bug, pic 2 shows it's size comparatively https://wobam.co.uk/product/batocera-parryi-malaysia/

https://www.naturepl.com/stock-photo-longhorn-beetle-batocera-parryi-in-rainforest-borneo-image01167530.html

1

u/cainhurstboy 3h ago

The borer…is it found in like, beach areas by rivers?? In se washington ive seen what yer describing i believe

1

u/Pocusmaskrotus 3h ago

I got bit by a pine beetle. It fucking hurt.

1

u/enigmagon 2h ago

I think your autism may be a touch better than mine lol

1

u/Cool_Ad9326 2h ago

Laughs in British

1

u/MonstahButtonz 2h ago

Thanks ChatGPT

1

u/ChurchillMkVII 1h ago

Exit the warrior

Spotted Pine Sawyer

Gets high on you?

1

u/Hot_Boysenberry2045 1h ago

Hey man... fuck you for bringing that to my attention

1

u/jarnpil 1h ago

I’ve been chewed on by a white spotted sawyer.
Are they venomous? No.
Did I still scream bloody murder? Yes.

1

u/VonBrandtner 32m ago

I've got a Ponderosa Borer in my freezer.

It's a whole other kind of bug collecting when they get big enough to yell at you while you're trying to get them in the jar.

12

u/RevolutionaryLab654 4h ago

Howdy neighbor! We have the flying June Bug which is equally terrifying (to me anyway), albeit quieter. They do still hiss though.

1

u/DrPikachu-PhD 2h ago

It's kinda cute tho. Why's he smiling at me

1

u/Altruistic-Report-30 1h ago

I’m in Iowa and we’ve got June bugs. I swear they dive bombs people’s hair! It’s like they’re trying to terrify you!

1

u/KimJongUnsFacelift 20m ago

I knew a girl that absolutely terrified of June bugs . The larvea are good to eat. The adult , not so great but fun to munch on a live one to gross out your friends and kids.

9

u/FunisGreen 4h ago

Yeah, only Jerusalem cricket nightmare fuel.

2

u/VoxInferni666 3h ago

Jerusalem crickets make me wanna fucking implode into a black hole. Could they just not for fuck sake...

33

u/SteveMartin32 3h ago

Only thing Idaho has is potatos and ho's

27

u/Oliver_Holzfilled 3h ago

And white power militias.

22

u/lexiconhuka 2h ago

That's covered under hos

4

u/SaltyArts 2h ago

At least hos have value idunno about white militias having value

2

u/HawkHarder 1h ago

They have white values?

1

u/lexiconhuka 1h ago

Easy, they are loot drops in the apocalypse. Each one will have an assortment of .45, .308, 556, and 9mm. With how loud they are it would be easy to find them

1

u/Alki_Soupboy 47m ago

I like you. You are my friend now.

1

u/Redseve 1h ago edited 1h ago

Not to be redundant but lots of Mormons too, it's practically northern Utah

5

u/garitone 3h ago

And the Mormons who were too crazy to be allowed to stay in Utah.

3

u/Axolotis 3h ago

The ones who couldn’t afford to go to BYU.

1

u/Gino-Bartali 2h ago

I thought that subsidized tuitions was like the only outlet the church gives as a charitable return to their members after amassing $300 billion in stock market assets?

2

u/Kindly_Stand_6895 2h ago

Nah. They give support to members struggling financially and have subsidized stores for things like food and clothes.

Every other Wednesday I help unload food for members who have requested it for free through the church. Sometimes the food doesn't get picked up, in which case the excess is donated to local food pantries. The church helped pay for my family's rent for a couple years when we were really struggling as well.

I know there's more education options than just BYU as well. Online you can take a variety of courses through Pathways and I helped with the church's English Connect courses for over a year.

I'm not entirely sure of the full extent of the church's charitable programs but I know some of them are made available to non-members and the members can be very well taken care of.

Also lots of volunteer work. They've been seriously increasing their young service missionary program so instead of sending all of the missionaries abroad to teach the gospel they're also sending missionaries to their local communities to do volunteer work full time without preaching the gospel. Local pantries, the VA, refugee immigration centers, schools, senior centers, you name it. It's a huge program around here where I live.

1

u/Axolotis 2h ago

They don’t even pay for missionary mission expenses.

1

u/Calabamian 2h ago

Jack Mormons…my fave.

1

u/Educational_Fox5319 2h ago

And vocal white supremacists

1

u/EnduranceBoxer 2h ago

The ones who all had the same daddy

2

u/Certain_Expression41 3h ago

And bald faced hornets.

1

u/Impressive-Owl1517 2h ago

We’ve got those in the Great Lakes too they’ve got to be about everywhere temperate 

1

u/VoxInferni666 3h ago

And these things

1

u/General_Mayhem2025 3h ago

I'm having An Officer and a Gentleman flashbacks! "And you don't have eyes, so you must be a ho!" Oh wait ...you DO have eyes...nevermind..

1

u/Quintessence679 3h ago

Two of my favorite things, omw

1

u/Anxious_Bison8007 3h ago

Fries and thighs

1

u/Sovereign-Anderson 2h ago

Ore-Ida-ho's

1

u/Brave_Quantity_5261 2h ago

And all the potato’s just left

1

u/Laserkweef 2h ago

Also neo nazis

1

u/healthy_fats 2h ago

Spuds and hos!

1

u/PearlJamFanLV 2h ago

Po-tate-ho

1

u/OKOK-01 2h ago

Thats like 2 of my fav things

1

u/CastorVT 2h ago

not just potatos!

1

u/ManWithBeard123 2h ago

is that you, Shane Gillis?

/s

1

u/SwimmingSpell8005 2h ago

They have Mormons too

1

u/ShawnyMcKnight 2h ago

Two things I enjoy…

1

u/dbeck003 2h ago

You calling my Mom a potato?

1

u/Substantial_Fox9575 2h ago

I’m familiar with the first but not the last??

1

u/karenskygreen 1h ago

And they aint good ho's

1

u/value_meal_papi 1h ago

Hoflation is making it hard to live in Idaho nowadays

1

u/JonaFray 1h ago

You mean u da ho?

1

u/pyrodice 1h ago

"Miss Idaho" is Ebonics. If you know, you know.

1

u/Akkerlun 1h ago

And don’t forget former Senator Larry Craig, the bathroom toe tapper.

1

u/Ill-Positive6950 1h ago

Sign me up

1

u/vjeremias 1h ago

Literally 40% hos

1

u/UnderTheScopes 1h ago

Mo naked ones, at that.

1

u/Jew-zilla 59m ago

And you don’t look like a spud, boy!

1

u/agatakricti 3m ago

I'm a big fan of both. Maybe I should move there.

0

u/thelimeisgreen 3h ago

And a bunch of racist Christian nationalists. Idaho has a lot of those.

-1

u/WholeTart6066 3h ago

Say it like a bad thing

-1

u/Far_Left_Extremist 3h ago

And the kkk

2

u/EpsilonAI117 4h ago

Native Range: Indigenous to parts of Asia, including China, India, Laos, Malaysia, Myanmar, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, and Thailand. It's a special type of long horn beetle

1

u/No_Trade3571 4h ago

That’s why I like living in Pennsylvania. We don’t have devil bugs like that.

5

u/cookeryandwookery 3h ago

Ignorance is bliss.

1

u/gingered_ginger 4h ago

Tell me you don't really believe that...

1

u/No_Trade3571 2h ago

At least not in SE PA.

1

u/RedReaper666YT 4h ago

Yes, yes we do

1

u/AC-burg 3h ago

I don't know but I wouldn't eat it

1

u/Even-Pressure-8356 3h ago

They would have shot the shit out of that long ago in Idaho.

1

u/notapunk 3h ago

It is known from China, India, Laos, Java, Myanmar, Malaysia, Sumatra, and Vietnam.

Per Wikipedia

Batocera parryi

1

u/Ill-Construction-209 3h ago

That thing belongs on the shelf at Ace Hardware

1

u/bdcr7 3h ago

Looks like something the Power Rangers would fight wtf

1

u/Ecstatic-Maybe-2913 2h ago

Hey guys, what ever you do, do NOT google the largest bug in your state. You don’t need to know that information.

1

u/This-Rush9244 2h ago

You’re a what?

1

u/razulebismarck 2h ago

A person from Idaho in the wilds?

1

u/TimeThruSpace 2h ago

no one gives a fuck about Idaho. Nothing going on there.

1

u/stormblaz 2h ago

Its a wood eating longhorn beetle, no sting but the bite can be a pinch 😋

1

u/TheMostRed 1h ago

You would be surprised what's around you right now im afraid.

1

u/736647584 1h ago

Figured you would be afraid of something so dark.

1

u/garitone 3h ago

You just have to deal with Neo-nazis and the Mormons who were too crazy to be allowed to stay in Utah.

0

u/twinkslayer1337 3h ago

since when is Idaho a country? lmao what a comparison

-16

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1

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