r/whatdoIdo • u/Majestic-Vacation-68 • 5h ago
Cant give up hope in my relationship
I (21M) have a girlfriend (28F) who rarely has me feeling wanted romantically. We have been dating for a year now, and i am deeply in love with her. I have been since about 2 months in and never had to question if that's how i felt. She used to tell me every day she didn't love me and correct anyone who said we were in love like her life depended on it. That hurt a lot, obviously, but i didn't expect her to love me. I just wish she didn't have to make it seem like she hated the idea of it. She gets annoyed with me all the time for stuff im not doing because she assumes i am the same as her ex, even though i have proven otherwise many times. She complains about things she doesn't like about me but never says much about what she does like. She tells me all of these problems with me.
TOO YOUNG
TOO INEXPERIENCED
TOO SHORT
TOO SOBER
TOO SENSITIVE (her complaint every time she makes me sad)
TOO CALM
TOO BORING
UNFUNNY
UNTOXIC (Yes, she said that's a bad thing)
UNTATTED (She loves tattoos, but i just haven't gotten any yet because im saving to get a house)
NOT MUSCULAR ENOUGH (she wants a six-pack)
I wish i could stop trying to hold this relationship together because i know she is going to keep hurting me until im broken.
I just end up giving her the benefits of the doubt.
What if she really does love me, and i never find out because i leave her.
She talks to me about other guys all the time
Says they are tattooed and tall and skinny and hot and have nice eyes then she tries to find out if they are legal age.
Oh but she says she wont cheat on me or leave me for them.
She ran into a guy online and thought his voice was hot so she stopped talking to me for 2 days to spend time with him until she got the ick and came back to me.
She then sat there talking about how hot he sounded and how good he is at games and questioned what he was up to every 5 seconds while texting him on call in front of me. She ignored me but seemed real exited for him. Oh but im supposed to trust her and love her and im supposed to be happy not sensitive and sad.
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u/applebottomjeans93 5h ago
good lord. you’re 21. perfect age to begin again, and again and leave her in the past. don’t let her warp your mind and heart more than she already has. look into where you are emotionally and mentally wounded and why you keep someone who doesn’t choose you and know this too shall pass
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u/cheesemonkey222 4h ago
Ok so what do you like about her? Why are you even with her? Do you like the fact that she doesnt like you?
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u/Majestic-Vacation-68 4h ago
I like thst she always tried to influence me to be a better brother to my siblings and son to my parents. I like that she was my best friend who i used to be able to talk to 24/7 for years before we started dating and suddenly i wasnt allowed to talk because it annoys and bores her. I like that she has such cute expressions and that she is the cute kind of submissive with me. I like how she pushes against me for comfort in her sleep and always rubs my face and beard when she is being caring. I hate that i only get most of that during and soon after sex.
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u/Majestic-Vacation-68 5h ago
Sorry for the rambling i just want to be loved and im being a baby about it
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u/austinbilleci110 5h ago
this woman is too old for you, shes a bad person. she actually sounds horrible.
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u/Exitz_Lzr 5h ago
Na you want to be loved but you have the wrong woman. She’s telling you the man she wants and you aren’t it bro, if you are really saving for a house be single and stack man who tf complains about being too sober? Stay sober. And get that money. Hit the gym, but not for her. For yourself bro. Stack up 💯🙏
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u/Altruistic_Metal3238 5h ago
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved, and there's no such thing as "being a baby about it". But you do need to accept that she will be your destruction if you don't leave her. You've sad it yourself - you've provided the evidence that she doesn't respect you in anyway way, body, mind, soul, or emotionally. You gotta go dude I'm sorry 😐
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u/GrandmaHasNotes 5h ago
To be blunt: Ditch that bitch. Why do you want to be with somebody who doesn’t love you or want to be with you?
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u/OkReputation9589 4h ago
It sounds like you might be a bitch in her eyes so you should probably just leave. Let her find someone more dominant, more leader type, more what she’s looking for. She could be staying at this point out of fear, discomfort, or whatever the reason it ain’t love. Just get out.
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u/Wretchedrecluse 4h ago
You don’t have a relationship. Well, certainly not a healthy relationship. The sad part is you don’t really love her either. You’re just addicted to her. You’re addicted to her treating you poorly. This isn’t her problem. This is definitely your problem. She of course, should not be dating somebody she doesn’t love and using them for an emotional punching bag. Then again you’re letting her treat you poorly and you keep coming back for more. You need some counseling to find out why you are accepting of her cruel behavior. At 21 you have a whole lot of life left, and I don’t think you should be spending it with her. Simply put she’s sadistic.
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u/Majestic-Vacation-68 4h ago
Im definitely not addicted to it If anything i just miss what we had and how she was before
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u/HotImportance6016 4h ago
I am sorry but she does not love you treating you like that! Please believe me I have lived that
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u/randomgrl333 4h ago
She's not the one, unless you're a masochist...
It sounds like you need a therapist to help you understand why you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you.
One cool thing about her, at least she's honest.
The man who said he loved me when he actually was hiding that he despised me was a fun little surprise to unravel. But that's my story, this is about your story~💕
I recommend Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman
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u/AnotherSaltyScum 2h ago
Wtf dude, I, of course dont know the whole story, but why would you torture yourself like that?
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u/Ok-Steak673 5h ago
First I want to say I’m so sorry she’s treating you like that because you don’t deserve it.
She’s being a cunt on purpose. She’s praying on your inexperience and being rude and insulting for no reason. She’s toying with your feeling because she can and she knows you won’t leave. You need to decide is it worth it to be with someone who constantly brings you down. You are human at the end of the day. So you are allowed to be upset , mad or even confused why she’s treating you this way. She’s 28 acting like a fucking child and needs to grow up.
Sometimes love isn’t enough and that’s ok. I am also learning this at 22 ♥️
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u/Bolt_of_Lightning_ 5h ago
You deserve someone so much better. There will be a partner out there who respects you. This ain’t it.