r/whatdoIdo • u/pinkkbabbe • 19h ago
My dorm neighbors are having the loudest, most aggressive sex literally every single night and I am losing my mind. How do I make them stop??
Throwaway account because people from my floor follow my main.
Okay so I (20F) live in a sophomore dorm in California and the walls here are literally paper thin. Like, I can hear my neighbor clicking her mechanical keyboard. But that’s not the issue. The issue is that the couple in the room next to mine has the most insane, loud, furniture-shaking sex every single night at like 2 AM.
I’m not trying to be a prude or anything, like good for them honestly, but it is genuinely ruining my life. It sounds like a mix between a gymnastics routine and a crime scene. The headboard bangs against the shared wall so hard that my fairy lights fell down last night. MY FAIRY LIGHTS.
I have an 8 AM chemistry lab three days a week and I am running on like 3 hours of sleep. Blasting white noise in my AirPods does absolutely nothing to drown out the screaming.
My roommate moved out a couple of weeks ago so it's just me in here, meaning I can't even bitch about it to someone in the room. I’m just staring at the ceiling in the dark at 3 AM listening to these two statistics majors sound like they're filming an audition tape.
What am I supposed to do?
Do I slip an anonymous note under their door? If so, what do I even write without making it incredibly awkward when I see them in the hallway?
Do I report it to the RA? I feel like reporting someone for being too loud in bed is so petty and the RA is a junior who looks like he hates his life anyway.
Should I just bang on the wall next time they start?
Please give me some realistic options because I’m about to lose it and I have a midterm on Friday.
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u/lvanwall 19h ago
If I were you, I'd try the note. If it continues, I'd bang the wall. After that I'd escalate it to higher powers if nothing changes lol.
Or you know, just try talking to them and explain your situation honestly. It's cool to fuck but come on, be courteous.
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u/pinkkbabbe 19h ago
Thanks for the advice, I think trying the note first is the smartest move. I'm just nervous she'll know it's me because we're on such bad terms right now. If she keeps doing it out of spite, I'm definitely banging on the wall next time and then going straight to the RA. Wish me luck lol.
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u/Confident_Double1392 16h ago
If you're on bad terms, this is straight to RA material.
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u/yams47 17h ago
If you and her are on bad terms, she’s faking. She’s loud on purpose to despite you. Definitely go to the RA. The note is only gonna make it worse. How do I know that? Because I’ve met people like that.
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u/team_fondue 16h ago
In a far off life I was an RA and yeah, this is RA territory because of the bad terms. College students can be petty as fuck especially when it comes to fucking - there's almost always some kind of weird roommate/suite level war going on over appropriate times to engage in sexual relations, and this is that playing out.
If everyone is on good terms and it might just be "hey you don't realize I know you are getting your insides rearranged at 2am because it's waking me up, can you calm down a bit" but bad terms means they'll probably just escalate.
Edit: this doesn't even get into the weird stuff like the couples that enjoyed getting walked in on (I had a coworker walk in on someone after announcing they were doing safety checks and it was clear they wanted to be seen mid-act) or a suite where multiple rooms are doing the deed with the doors open.
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u/bularry 17h ago
You are in a dorm at college to learn. They are impeding you. Report to the RA.
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u/Pitiful-Increase-406 18h ago
They are definitely doing it on purpose if youre on bad terms😂😂
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u/YaGurlAlexandra 19h ago
You live right next to her she will absolutely know who it is, and If she doesn't know exactly there's only like 3 people it could be max so close enough
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u/gavmyboi 19h ago
Unless she's known to be a violent person over stupid bullshit, i don't see a reason to worry about that. If it were me I probably wouldn't have realized how loud i was being. Try the note, might work wonders
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u/gunitmale 16h ago
Who cares if they know it's you? Idk why people are so insecure all the time about stuff like this.
We're humans. We're meant to talk to each other. The way to solve problems is by addressing them directly. This is a great time to learn a live skill that will be so important as you continue to have more life experience!
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u/gimgemgom 14h ago edited 14h ago
i would then just bang on the wall continuously while they doing it. bang with flat hand. bang bang bang and dont care at all about any consequence.
or record their own sounds and mix-stich it into a long soundtrack and play it on repeat and louder than the sound they are making with a loudspeaker that i would place against their wall so it will totally sound into their room and make the wall shake with their own sounds while they doing the act
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u/ExpertlySalted 16h ago
Jesus. The amount of people here missing the point of being a normal person. Knock on her door, have a conversation with her. Like a regular person. If that is met at an impasse or worse, she reacts negatively, then move on to other options (escalation in the form of a mediator, RA sit down, etc). The amount of people here who are going straight for the throat must be real gems in life.
Communicate and communicate some more. Crazy how many of life's problems or the path to their solution can be resolved with a conversation. Also, I just solved that other subreddit of AITA or any format where people have problems with their significant others. Yw.
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u/ReasonableKangaroooo 12h ago
In the real world, there is something called retaliation. I tried to be reasonable as you suggest. Neighbors partying until 3:00 in the morning on school nights where my kid couldn't sleep. I went over to talk to them, so now they know it's me. I had to call the cops, and the neighbors made my life hell until I moved.
I appreciate that you believe the world is black and white and very beautiful and everyone is reasonable, but given enough time and experience, you'll realize you have to take care of yourself.
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u/Feeling-Big-5228 11h ago
The world isn't black and white, which is why trying to communicate is the correct answer. Whether it works out or backfires is another story. Sorry this happened to you but it doesn't make the advice wrong.
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u/butoh-godzilla 9h ago
Your right. Sometimes it doesnt work. But we have to start feom a position of reason. If we assume the worst, we will always get the worst.
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u/Classic-Purple-9378 13h ago
I stayed with my boyfriend in his dorm when he was in college, and we had sex really loud but we didn’t know his roommate could hear us because we would turn up the TV really loud and put the fan on and we realized at the end of the year that his roommate could hear us because he got drunk and he told me. They might not even know that you hear them. They might not even realize that they’re being so loud that it’s going through the wall because I didn’t know and once the conversation was had, then we would have silent sex until his roommate left. So maybe just to talk with them
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u/demystake 13h ago
It's such a common thing on Reddit. Zero nuance, life is black and white, if someone did something arguably bad, they deserve to die, because Reddit council said so.
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u/TotientEC 15h ago
RA's aren't cops. Just an older student with a tiny amount of authority that resolves to "contact adult if needed." Getting an older student with more experience involved to mediate seems fine.
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u/LeadershipLast7247 13h ago
This right here. Communication is truly the key to all things. A simple “it’s super rad you’re getting laid but perhaps you guys spice it up by pretending you’re in a silent film”. A lot of people really don’t understand that walls aren’t sound barricades, especially not during the throes of passion.
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u/Throwaway87hh773 15h ago
Exactly my thoughts! Just go knock on her door and have a fucking conversation about it. My God.
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u/blackpussyeater69 12h ago
I would bang on the wall. These people show no common decency or common sense. Most people don't wana deal with all that at 2 am. So yeah, be quiet or get fucked. What's the issue with being straight up? Yeah don't go snitch, but knocking on the wall is 100% acceptable. I would for sure do that next time they start. And if they do it again then id be knocking on their door
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u/BlitzFortyV 12h ago
I mean, she's gonna get fucked regardless. It should be "be quiet AND get fucked" Also I like the username 😂
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u/Frequent-Club8345 14h ago
In other comments it states OP and the girl next door are on bad terms so that’s why.
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u/marshmallowcthulhu 9h ago
A healthy conversation with another person? How could you suggest such a thing! You’re worse than Hitler!
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u/tuenthe463 4h ago
Have you met a gen z? They'd rather have their fingernails pulled out than have a slightly comfortable conversation
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u/Budget_Respect6622 16h ago
I think you missed the point that someone coming to Reddit to get their problems fixed, are in fact, not going to get their problems fixed. Especially with such a topic like this, the obvious answer is to just simply be a decent person and talk with them. Reddit just wants to meme
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u/hannah_boo_honey 11h ago
I've tried the nice neighbor route twice now and it ended EVERY SINGLE TIME with each group of entirely different neighbors acting nice to my face, then continuing to be loud and then preemptively making up some bullshit to report me for before I can report them for something that they actually are doing. Most people aren't kind and empathetic anymore. They are defensive and get angry at you for even daring to knock on their door.
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u/Annithoughts 11h ago
THIS!
Have a polite conversation. Maybe see if they stay at his place the nights before you have lab? Trying to meet someone in the middle is a much better approach than something rude or anonymous.
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u/BelovedxCisque 19h ago
I’d make a recording of it the next time it happens. Try the note first and take a video of yourself putting it under the door. If that doesn’t work go to the RA and show them the video and say you have attempted to communicate with them. Play the recording too so he knows you’re not being dramatic.
Dude gets paid to be an RA so it doesn’t matter if he looks miserable. I’m guessing you’re paying a chunk of money to live in the dorms/attend school. Your money and education takes precedence over these people getting their rocks off in every scenario. If the RA can’t or doesn’t want to help take it up with the dorm superintendent. Again, you’re paying to be there and learn and due to their nightly activities you’re not getting what you paid for. Stand up for yourself.
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u/pinkkbabbe 19h ago
You are honestly so right. I keep forgetting how much money my parents and I are throwing into this housing plan just to feel like a prisoner in my own room.
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u/Ok_Gas1070 17h ago
This is the bigger issue, and honestly... they can go have sex anywhere. Like I get the passion and in the moment... But like brehs... come the fuck on now. You have a right to be comfortable within your own space, and people go to universities to party. I mean study, you get it.
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u/Ok-Party-3033 16h ago
Also you can download a sound level meter like NIOSH SLM to get a record of actual noise levels.
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u/Intrepid_Source 17h ago
Yes this. Surely there are rules on noise in the dorms and this is clearly breaking those rules.
You mention you are already on bad terms with this person. You could try the note option but if you are on bad terms, they won’t care. They already know how loud they are being. Curious if you’ve spoken to the person on the other side of them to see if they have the same experience.
Does loud sex person have a roommate? I’m guessing no or they’d have lost their minds by now.
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u/YaGurlAlexandra 19h ago
Man everyone is being too nice here I would just blast mood killing music every time they started up. You live right next to them a note will not be anonymous. They wanna be selfish? Be selfish right back
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u/Purple_Equivalent470 18h ago
Yup. I would just bang on the wall or their door and tell them to shut the fuck up.
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u/BoRnIn2aTiTuDe 15h ago
Right before it sounds like she ready to climax, throw your entire body weight up against their door repeatedly like a tantrum child. Then go back inside your room and come back out looking half asleep like yo wtf was that?! Lmao
Total mood killer, getting scared to the point where you accidentally fart or scream during sex is definitely a killer for mood purposes.
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u/safeforworkdoodman 17h ago
One nothing wrong with me… LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR. Every time lol
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u/Broke-Tinkerer 14h ago
When this happened to me at an apartment I used to live in, I started loudly yelling instructions through the wall and cheering him on. One time, I yelled, "I got 20 bucks on her finishing first! I believe in you bro!" After a couple nights, shit got quieter. Was it awkward? Yes. Was it worth it? Also yes.
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u/Broad-Cranberry-9050 13h ago
One time my GF and i were in colombia and we were in an airbnb where the balcony would lead to like an enclosed area that was walled up. So if you lef tthe balcony door even slightly open you could easily listen into other apartments above ours.
One morning we open it up to let some air in and out of nowhere we hear 2 people doing it. It was mostly the lady soft moaning. Lasted maybe 2-3 minutes before we hear the guy finish (he did the final grunt so it was clear he was done) and we are just chuckling and tbh it mightve been less than that.
It didnt sound like the girl was even close to getting hers. And we were half tempted to just start doing it, moan loud enough for them to hear, try to last a bit before getting her to finish so they could hear it and the girl could see what she was missing out on lol. But then we thought that was too mean and decided against it.
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u/SPerry8519 16h ago
As soon as they start, start blasting Disney Music full blast lol hard to stay hard listening to that shit lol
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u/throwawayo222 14h ago
The little mermaid would absolutely kill the vibe. I love this idea 😂
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u/SPerry8519 14h ago
I don't know I feel like that one might actually help the mood LOL darling it's better down where it's wetter take it from me? Yeah that is totally a mood enhancer LOL
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u/mikep120001 15h ago
I’d blast a trump speech. Anyone who can bang through that needs to be committed
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u/Any-Percentage1670 8h ago
You're gonna have to break them up by sleeping with the guy and sending her video proof
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u/ATinyKey 17h ago
I had great success cranking Cotton Eyed Joe every time it started.
Like ridiculous success.
Going off my sample size it is legitimately impossible to fuck to.
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u/DegenCajunX 17h ago
I sincerely doubt that. If you can dance to it, you can fuck to it… and there is a dance!
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u/fizzinator9000 8h ago
Start commenting like a soccer match broadcaster with gems like 'and he scores! What a dribble from the ball to get in the goal!!"
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u/Bermsi 16h ago
I had to r same issue when I was in college. I called the dorm security. They came right away. (They clearly wanted to embarrass someone.) They came into my room to hear the noise. Popped over to the next apartment to knock on the door. Either they were ignored or couldn’t be heard, but the screams that came from when security let themselves into the apartment was amazing!
Never had another noise issue again.
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u/worryaboutnothing 10h ago
I’ve dealt with that at an apartment. I left a note saying . “ We can hear you down the hallway but sounds like she’s faking it dude “ . We never heard them again 😂😂
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u/Braehole 19h ago
Record it and tell the RA. Have them listen to your proof. It will be taken care of with no confrontation.
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u/kameronmemelord 17h ago
If you got a rolly chair pick that shit up and put it sideways on the wall and just roll it around. This will cause the loudest most obnoxious noise. Do this at like 7 am on a Saturday too.
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u/pinkkbabbe 16h ago
The fact that this comment cut off makes it 10x funnier, but I actually know exactly what you were going to say! Honestly, I do have a rolly chair at my desk and the temptation to lift that shit up and violently spin the wheels against their shared wall at 3 AM is so high right now. If they start up again tonight, I might just actually do it. Desperate times call for desperate measures, thank you for the chaotic inspiration!
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u/RealLook3047 15h ago
Knock on the door and ask to join every time they do it
Just make them supper uncomfortable
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u/nanapancakethusiast 14h ago
Yeah I’m sure the exhibitionist fetish couple will be super uncomfortable that someone asked to join their intentionally loud and intense sex. Good idea! /s
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u/Comprehensive_Cap290 14h ago
Just because they’re loud doesn’t mean they’re exhibitionists or have weird fetishes. It just means they’re inconsiderate.
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u/Substantial-Tip-7587 14h ago
I came in to say this as well. Loud raucous sex does not automatically equate to exhibitionism and is not a fetish thing. It is a lot of fun though, when not being disrespectful in a dorm environment affecting a bunch of people!
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u/s0l0d0l0_92 15h ago
I like that, make them supper uncomfortable. Bring over some meatloaf mid-sesh
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u/Urallowed2bwrong 14h ago
Could actually end up with her being in the wrong if they complain about sexual harassment
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u/StrengthEven5386 16h ago
The story is completely made up, if you were really in a dorm with paper thin walls, multiple people on that floor would’ve already turned them in.
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u/TrickyInteraction778 18h ago
Noise complaint, there should be quiet hours for the dorm.
You could also start playing don’t cry out loud as soon as they start on full blast facing the shared wall.
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u/youshantnome 18h ago
Don’t do the note. She’ll immediately know it’s you plus it won’t make her change anything. Go straight to your RA and request a room change.
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u/Top-Possibility9480 16h ago
Knock on the door, walk in sit down and say “I’ve heard good things about him, I’m here to see firsthand. Please carry on.”
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u/Glittering-Kiwi-6223 7h ago
I would just straight up talk asap. If they good ppl they will be more quiet if not gotta be a worse neighbor than them.
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u/hijack8966_ 19h ago
Just knock on their door or slip a note underneath saying their late night fun is keeping you awake at night and knocking your decor off the wall, so try keep it down and maybe try putting a pillow between the wall and headboard.
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u/pgtvgaming 17h ago
Go to the RA first - you said you are on bad terms so prob 0 value in going to her directly.
Its not that difficult to move a bed away from a wall for fucks sake (pun not intended).
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u/RingOtherwise30 17h ago
I mean it’s inconsistent of them, they’re either being asses or they don’t realize how loud they are being, I think the note idea is a good one but honestly go to your RA, even if they seem to “hate their life” they must’ve wanted to be an RA for either the benefits or they like it and I’m pretty sure the application process is competitive. So go to the RA and ask them to say something, if they were being asses then hopefully the thought of being in trouble will make them tone it down, or if they didn’t how loud they are know now they will. And it’s not petty at all, it’s college and yeah you should be able to have fun but it’s an educational institution first and people have to study, sleep, etc so it’s absolutely not petty.
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u/TheMagnificentM 17h ago
This is why dorms have RAs. They are literally there to be bothered. Start there. A neighbor making that much noise of any kind, especially at that hour, is not ok.
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u/Responsible-Salt9128 15h ago
RA first thing.
You’re paying good money to stay there and you have the right to NOT be disturbed every single night.
If they are really that loud, it could be anybody on your floor who complained so you are less likely to be perceived as the complainant.
If the RA doesn’t help or tell you to ignore it go over their head. If whoever is next level doesn’t help you, you have the right to change dorms.
Record audio of the experience for proof. Yes it’s disturbing to do so but it will be proof to support your claim so they don’t think you’re just being dramatic.
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u/Ok-Horror-1251 15h ago
I had a short neighbor who kept his window open when he would do the same with his model girlfriend. She would scream "Put it in my ass. Oh, oh yes, in the ASS!!" I finally screamed "Stick it in her ass already, if you can reach it!" that shut them the fuck up.
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u/imnickelhead 15h ago
Get some of your dorm mates and set up outside their door and critique them. Root them on, come up with some chants/cheers and give fake play by plays.
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u/shaquilleomeal2025 15h ago
Now, me personally. I ain’t got time for the admin BS. I’d flirt with her man and get his number. Then I’d go to the girl like “Hey, I didn’t know at first but I think I’m talking to your man.”
BOOM! No more annoying restless nights. And best thing about it…. Takes only like 3 days to achieve
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u/KyleDComic 15h ago
Make it sound like you’re masturbating to their sex. Very very loudly. Either it’ll make them realize it’s time to quiet down or they’ll get super into it. 50/50 chance it works though.
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u/Necessary-Fig-2292 15h ago
You mock the noises from your room. Or, give them pointers when they see you. Good chance they have no clue you can hear it. But also possible that’s their kink.
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u/couchsan 19h ago
Definitely do not cop knock and yell campus police for 2 weeks, and definitely don’t report them as a possible assault case after they’ve gotten used to your fake knocks…
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u/hashlettuce 18h ago
You record the sounds coming through the wall and then play them back at odd times throughout the day and you become the creeper that people want to avoid.
You see them in the hall and ask when the next session will be because you just got some new equipment that is better at picking up the sounds and eager to test it out.
You need to embarrass them and they ain't embarrassed having loud sex. Perhaps the thought of some dude recording and creating a catalog of the sex might give them the hint to be a bit more discrete.
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u/Fearless_Film403 17h ago
tell the RA so they can have a conversation with them and you don’t have to do anything to put you in an awkward position
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u/meuntilfurthernotice 17h ago
i would knock on the wall one time. as like a “hey we can hear you man.” and then leave a note if it doesn’t get better. anything after that i’d go the RA.
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u/Gloomy-Turnip-7052 16h ago
All you can do is speak with them on it or report it to the head of the dorm let them handle it.
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u/Ill-Departure-2684 16h ago
Woman up and go to them directly. Don’t be afraid of confrontation. Say it just like this: “Hey neighbor, do you have a second to talk? Listen these walls are extremely thin. I am super happy you and (insert whatever name) are having a good time and I can hear you are extremely satisfied lol. But do you mind not being too loud at 2am? I have 8am classes and it does keep me up even when i drown out the noise with noise cancelling headphones and white noise coming through them. Yall were hitting the wall so much my fairy lights almost came down.” Do this all with a smile but direct eye contact to show you are serious. A normal person will apologize. If she continues it, then you escalate because you have already made initial contact.
These skills I’m telling you to learn will help you beyond this situation for the rest of your life. It shows you are a problem solver and not a complainer. If this was a situation outside of your controlled environment where you called the police, they are going to ask you have you spoken with your neighbor and expressed concerns. Get into the habit of being a very confident and assertive, problem solving adult. This will propel you up the ladder of the career field you are currently studying. Good luck mf
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u/Slow_Pirate_3723 16h ago
Don’t be scared to be just as obnoxious as they are. They know as well as you how loud they’re being and dont care
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u/e2_for_life 16h ago
Scream, "Please invite me to the baby shower since I was there at the conception."
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u/Nameles777 16h ago
Call 911 and report a medical emergency. Tell the operator that you attempted to offer assistance but you got no response, just loud noises.
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u/Express_Suit_8021 15h ago
Call the campus security. Say someone is being hurt they will be embarassed. That will take it down a notch. Or you could leave a cat. If she keeps it, it will stare at them awkwardly and you can play Early Adam Sandler standup really loud next time while you listen to white noise. So Adam Sandler saying Elvis stole my lettuce will be their sex playlist. Godspeed good luck in chemistry. This is my best post ever! Thank you for letting me be of service. College pro out!
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u/CurrentSummer1136 15h ago
Ask them if you can join in and or watch since you’re already having to listen to it.
Or if you feel like being diabolical just say, “wow this is a different guy than was over here this morning.” The fight that it causes should provide a temporary halt to the coitus.
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u/Serendippie 15h ago
Go to the RA or other campus oversight.
If you’re able, you might want to talk to them first, IF that feels safe.
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u/Sleuth65 7h ago
Attempting to solve housing problems is one of the things your RA gets compensated for. Explain the situation, let them address it. If that doesn’t change things, tell the RA again. If still no resolution escalate it further. Don’t bang on the walls, that’s just putting you in the same category as they are and will likely disturb more people.
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u/bryckhouze 6h ago
I would just say “girl, I don’t wanna interrupt you getting your back broke, but my air pods are no match for y’all. I’ve tried. Like sometimes it sounds like you need help, do you need help? Y’all knocked off my fairy lights, MY FAIRY LIGHTS, and I’m not gonna lie, I though it could be a head injury. Pun intended, but seriously, I have early, important classes right now, and I need sleep. Can we compromise and come up with a schedule?”
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u/Brashton_Kutcher 19h ago
I lol’d at ‘MY FAIRY LIGHTS’, like they’re drilled into the studs or something
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u/Juna_StarLight12 19h ago
I think you should either write a note or talk to them in person, if you write a note do NOT put your name just say sum like “Hi, I hope you both are well. Can you guys please not have such loud sex so often or at least quiet down? The walls are thin as hell, I can hear you, and I need to be able to sleep; I only run on about 3 hours of sleep and that is a problem since I have classes. All love, I’m happy for yall but I need to able to sleep.” -Signed no name♥︎ if you decide to talk in person, just basically say sum short but simple(I don’t recommend if you actually don’t want the awkwardness) anyways, good luck, hope you can be able to sleep andddd if they are STILL loud, then come back and ask for help again or just be petty and while their fuckin, either play a weird song close to the wall so they can hear it orrr bang on the wall
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u/LastPlaceEngineer 19h ago
Stats majors?
“Do I slip an anonymous note under their door? If so, what do I even write without making it incredibly awkward when I see them in the hallway?”
“Hey, hearing you guys at night makes me want to join. P(3-way|third is a guy) = ?”.
Mostly joking. Don’t get caught if you’re desperate enough to try.
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u/roadblocked 18h ago
When I was working nights, I had a full family and a loud neighborhood. I was in hell until I started sleeping with AirPods with noise cancelation and white noise on YouTube. I wouldn’t hear a nuclear blast
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u/Careful_Trifle 18h ago
Typed note under the door. "We can all hear you." Doesn't have to be deeper than that.
If it continues, report it to your RA as a noise complaint.
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u/MediumWorking60 17h ago
Seduce her boyfriend and have even louder sex in your dorm. Problem solved.
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u/Ok_Trash1264 17h ago
Just knock on the walls thrice, lound enough to be heard and low enough to not to be taken aggressively
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u/the-william 17h ago
i mean, it happened to me once on the receiving end of The Note. loud evening. next morning i got a very kind and delicate note from the neighbour taped to my door. i appreciated the kindness. always made sure it never happened like that again. be decent. but you’re allowed to say something.
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u/Far_Pressure6097 16h ago
On a real note, unfortunately although others say that the couple is being “selfish,” I believe this is just par for the course if you’re in a dorm, separated from dozens of people only by thin layers of sheetrock. It’s not healthy to retaliate vindictively. You could be funny and play some super weird loud noises of your own occasionally. Not to annoy the piss out of them, but perhaps just as a suggestion that the walls are thinner than they may realize. A lot of Redditors like to assume the most hostile scenario when judging the intentions of others. That’s a “gateway drug” to anger issues. You just need some good headphones for real, they’ll get tired of doing it or break up or move eventually 🤣 Nothing lasts forever.
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u/UsernameChecksOut473 16h ago
Get on pornhub and find the noisiest video you can find (from my teenage days I can tell you that that won't be 'hard', pun intended). Play it on full blast. Theyll get the message and also find you hilarious.
Best to have a laugh about it
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u/koolaidismything 16h ago
Slip a note under the door asking them why they listen to whale calls all night and say everyone laughs
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u/Intrepid-Channel-675 16h ago
I feel like reporting someone for being too loud in bed is so petty
I am running on like 3 hours of sleep
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u/ThRoWaWaY_aCcEpT_iT 16h ago
Start playing a children’s show really loudly. That tends to ruin the moment - because who in their right mind would continue to bang to the sound of Sesame Street or Bluey?
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u/Accipiter__Nisus 16h ago
Make some noise yourself. Sex noise. And punctuate it with shouts of "that's right (name of person neighbour really is turned off by), fuck me till I fart!"
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u/spoonguyuk 16h ago
Had this at uni… you need a microphone and a speaker. Make it everyone’s problem.
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u/willowwhispyone 16h ago
The mature adult thing to do? Approach them and tell them you can literally hear everything they're doing. Everything. Emphasise everything. But keep it polite. Some people don't actually realise the way sound and smells travel if they're not sensitive to it. If you don't want to physically approach them? Send a message or pop a note under the door/tape it to the door.
Something along the lines of "Hey there! Its great you're getting laid but just thought you should know you're providing the whole floor with free spicy audio when doing so. Some of us would like to unsubscribe from the free trial though! Mind taking it down a couple notches while you add more notches? Thanks!"
If that doesn't work and you know they're aware of the problem, and still want to be a grown up about it, approach someone in authority and file a formal complaint...
If you want to be immature but get the point across...
- mimick every sound equally as loud back at them.
- record their sessions and message it back to them every time after with a rating. "5/10 only once? Someones losing their edge. "
- blast really loud and unsexy music to ruin the vibe.
- bang on the walls really loud.
- play Donald Trump clips of him talking himself in circles really loud.
If they know they're doing it and continue, they're being assholes which gives you permission to be one too if you want. Doesnt matter if it's awkward. If it's awkward for you then it's awkward for them too and they'll stop to make the awkwardness stop. Sleep is important especially when you're trying to do well in classes. Lack of sleep is a literal torture method. You're well within your rights to bring it up and complain. Seems daunting especially if you're an introvert but they're not respecting you and your space and rolling over to people please people you probably don't even know isn't going to help you. They'll continue being loud. You'll continue losing sleep. Someone else's sex life is not a good enough reason for you to not only be uncomfortable but disturbing your sleep. They will survive, your grades and sanity may not.
Good luck!
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u/jaylan101 16h ago
Had this experience in college and I can agree how wild it is 😂 it was in my now-wife’s dorm. Everybody had their own bed room. Her roommate would be in her room having sex like all day everyday. Eventually my wife got fed up, the other roommate was hearing it too. So she knocked on the door and they stopped.
The next time she wrote a nice letter, put it under the door and I kid you not her roommate moved out the next day.
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u/No_Cranberry5291 15h ago
Chaotic Good Answer: Find her mom, get her to record an audio scolding her or something demeaning. Then play it full blast when your neighbor and her guest are going at it. If anything it will create some uncomfortable associations that might require therapy later.
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u/KitchenClimate5456 15h ago
Have a competition and let them hear your animal noises. Maybe when they hear you, they realize how annoying it is.
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u/An0th3rP1ckyD34dh34d 15h ago
A 2-year-old throwaway account you say? Such obvious karma farming: https://arctic-shift.photon-reddit.com/search?fun=posts_search&author=pinkkbabbe
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u/Lower_Pressure_3100 15h ago
I had a similar situation and just scream at the top of my lungs, "YEAH GET THAT!" Never heard from them again for some reason.
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u/Accurate-Vanilla9187 15h ago
Start making sex noises with them. Sure way to make them think there’s some sort of creep nearby and change their location for the deed.
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u/cheesemoney84 15h ago
Play the mortal kombat "finish him" line over and over again till they get the point to wrap it up. Or play the Dave Chappelle "wrap it up" skit loudly next to the wall.
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u/Daisuke69 14h ago
Definitely don’t be like me and never speak up because I was more concerned about their feelings even though they never gave a crap about mine. Except it was my roommate who was literally having sex right next to me. Just go to the RA. That’s what they are there for.
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u/phosphorescentEYES88 11h ago
- Try communicating
- Scream like a banchee or beat on the door aggressively.
- Report them.
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u/Mech-inationz 10h ago
Take revenge, have louder sex. More than willing to attribute my services. Their selfishness can’t go unpunished.
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u/Dismal-Web-1537 9h ago
You could try a direct approach and talk to your neighbour. If that doesn’t work, post notes on their door for everyone in the building to see, and blast the most obnoxious music you can next to the problem wall whenever they get at it. If the post notes of public shaming don’t work, the music will at least kill their mojo. I also recommend keeping evidence (decibel readings or dates and times of noise disturbance, recorded audio from your dorm) to submit to your RA with a formal complaint.
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u/sirlondoncleanlily 9h ago
Play Cotton Eyed Joe full blast every morning first thing to give them a taste of madness.
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u/0utandab0ut1 9h ago
Get a speaker, put it against their wall and play porn or monkeys mating sounds. Play it at odd hours so they can get a taste of their own medicine
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u/lakenymphhh 9h ago
Knock and ask if you can join in but bring something weird like a spatula and a thing of mayonnaise. Keep doing it until they find a new place to have sex.
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u/Emergency_Note_558 8h ago
Def write down dates and times. Keep track. I’d blast 99 bottles of beer on the wall if you can find a full recording. THAT WILL #%** them up.
The one comment of dressing up and asking him if you can join, that will def cause a disturbance or it might not. Could get you into something you may or may not want to be in. When they are done , play a Disney song or some loud gruesome movie on loop and leave. I do like the baby crying, that’s ingenious
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u/slyjabroni 6h ago
Gather a bunch of friends to wait in the hall right outside the door. Have everyone start obnoxiously cheering when they come out to use the bathroom. Film it. Embarrass the shit out of them. Tell them you’re going to charge admission next time. They’ll get the hint.
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u/Powerful-Summer-3382 2h ago
Record them and then play it back very loudly at a time equally problematic.
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u/datmanrighthere 1h ago
I would stand by said wall and start giving instructions. Cone big boy, pull her hair. Spank dat @$$. Bend her over. Ya like dat b!+(#, you like that? They'll either oblige the order or they'd stop and die of embarrassment.
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u/AromaticBlock781 17h ago
Blast Gilbert godfried while they're doing it. That's a sure boner killer