I'm sorry if this isn't the right place for it, but it feels that it's likely something a lot of us have thought about.

I'm specifically talking about wanted and planned pregnancies here.

I've noticed that when someone sets up a surprise/gets a present to tell their partner or family that they're pregnant, a lot of the time the surprise gets ruined by the person making a jokey comment like "is this a pregnancy announcement or something?" And you can see the excitement drain from the face of the pregnant person.

Maybe it's just me, but pleaaaaase can people stop doing that? In my opinion part of the excitement is the surprised reaction! If you guess it before you even get there, it dampens the moment. If you think you know, pretend you don't and act surprised! Or if you're someone who wears subtitles on their face and it's obvious you know, make your reaction so much bigger. Get really excited and hug them, jump up and down with them, spin them around or do something that (for them) shows how excited you are.

I can't stand to see the indifference, or the "yeah I knew it" in a flat tone (I'm autistic, I know tone isn't always something we can help), especially if you're someone who screams and shouts about your favourite sport, but replies flatly to your partner when they share the news.

Idk maybe I'm just in my head about it because I've seen it so many times now. It's probably very subjective.

Is there anyone out there that would prefer their partner to have guessed by the time they open their present/get to see the surprise, or who doesn't like the overly excitable reactions?

I worry about a lot of things when it comes to having kids lol! This subreddit is a nice place to share.

People always tell me "that's never gonna happen don't worry" well first off, disabled people are actually a fairly large portion of the population, yes it's not the most likely outcome but its absolutely far more common than most people realize. Also my personal family has quite a few people with disabilities. My brother has autism and he didn't need that many accommodations, especially as he got older my cousin has much higher support needs. There are more people in my family on both sides whom have disabilities that require lifelong care.

It feels like another layer to consider and think about what I will do. I think trying to learn as much as I can about disabilities and child development is a good first step, also saving money. I have read online that while the costs of raising a child without disabilities is around 300 to 400 thousand by age 18. The cost of raising a child with developmental disabilities is often around 1.2 million by age 18 and can cost even more depending on severity.

Maybe I am overthinking this, but if I am able to become a parent I want to feel prepared to support and care for my children, regardless of anything.