Title: I made a short psychological visual novel called Axiom, and I'd love some honest criticism

[u/golkest]

Hey everyone!

I recently released my first psychological visual novel, Axiom. It's a short, introspective experience exploring isolation, anxiety, and the feeling of being trapped inside your own mind.

I'm not posting this just to promote my game. I'm currently working on my next chapter, and I'd genuinely like to understand what I could improve as a writer and developer.

I'd especially appreciate feedback on:

• Writing and dialogue: Do the characters feel believable? Does the writing ever feel awkward or unnatural?
• Pacing: Are there moments that drag, feel rushed, or should have been handled differently?
• Atmosphere and presentation: Does the art direction and sound design contribute to the experience?
• Choices and storytelling: Do the decisions feel meaningful? Is the story engaging enough to keep you interested?
• Overall experience: What worked for you, what didn't, and what would you change?

Please don't feel obligated to be positive. I'd rather hear a specific criticism that helps me improve than a vague compliment.

The game is free to play, with optional donations.

If you're interested, here's the game: https://alicejo.itch.io/axiom

Thanks to anyone willing to give it a try. Even a short, honest review would mean a lot to me as a beginner.

[u/Imaginary_Idea4687]

it looks good but the only thing throwing me off is the beeping noise for the text. its either too loud or js a personal preference. if you like it you should add an option to turn it off or keep it on tho