As the title implies, I decided to make a joke while interacting with one of the vendors at my job today and it didn’t go as I hoped.

For context, I work at a hardware store as a merchandiser and while I was taking pictures in a specific area, a third party vendor happened to filling the spaces with product. Normally when a regular employee from a department is doing that I’ll joke around with them. I have to submit before and after pictures of each bay to show what I’ve done, so if another employee happens to be stocking merchandise I might say something like “With you doing that, it will look like I worked and I can take credit for it!”, which most of the department associates seem to find humor in since they know I have to take pictures. But when I said that to the vendor, he did not find humor in it. Instead he said something like “Yeah, I bet you will. You don’t realize how many hours I put into doing this.” I tried to explain, but then he said “I don’t want to talk to you. I already said my piece.”. I tried apologizing but I don’t think he wants to hear it. I plan on apologizing again in the near future and owning up to it but I don’t know how soon I should. I understand why he’s pissed but I don’t want him to hate me for something that wasn’t supposed to be taken seriously.

TLDR: I made a joke about taking credit for the vendor’s work at my job and he took it personally and now he’s pissed off and doesn’t want to talk to me.

It’s really hard to explain this without dodging my friends but I’ll try.

So my friends are trying to do something, and I’m trying to join them, however I’m not there yet. So today i try to do something nice, just trying to make their lives a bit easier, and i manage to really upset them. Firstly, i would probably have been fine to do this if i had asked them, but me being an idiot didn’t, and my friends got really upset. Next, i managed to accidentally dox them. It was only up for about a minute, and i checked the views and only me and one of my friends saw it, but i was still being an idiot and theyre all really upset at me. And i have to see all of them tommorow to play DND.

TLDR: I try to help my friends and accidentally really upset them and dox them temporarily. And I’m really nervous to confront them.

Every month, my team and I hold a DEI meeting to plan events for our employees. We do this so employees feel more engaged and appreciated. Before the meeting, I jotted down some ideas which included no shave November and a mustache growing contest. Everyone was sharing their ideas and then it was my turn. I am going on a 2 week vacation starting tomorrow so I’m basically mentally checked out at this point. Instead of sharing my no shave November/mustache growing contest idea, my mind shit itself and I said “It would be cool if all the men in the office participated in no nut November”. The second those words left my mouth, my body completely froze and I realized what had just happened. Thankfully, everyone laughed about it knowing it was a honest mistake. Although, one of my douchey managers looked at me as if I killed her first born. Let’s see if I have a HR meeting scheduled soon.

TLDR: I blurted out that all the men in the office should participate in no nut November instead of no shave November.

I am 23m from UK and I had an idiotic moment today.

Earlier today I was walking to the bus stop when I noticed I couldn't find my disabled person bus pass, I had put it into the transparent pocket of my phone but it wasn't there, so I went home and had help from my Mum to look for it all around the house and her car. We couldn't find it anywhere.

We both then concluded that it must have fallen out of my phone yesterday whilst my Mum and I were out shopping.

I got on the phone to the council to request a replacement and whilst I was waiting for them to answer my call, I had a chance look at the other pockets on my phone and there it was in the deepest pocket of my phone.. so I had to get an hour later bus all because I didn't look in a deeper pocket of my phone.

TLDR: I had to get a later bus because I didn't look in my other pockets of my phone.

My doctor prescribed me metformin recently (and I picked the script up yesterday) to help with my weight, as I'm a woman with PCOS and it has been shown to have positive effects for someone in my shoes. Since I also have IBS though, we went with the extended release to help spare my guts, and I'm sure it would have worked great if I hadn't gone and fucked up.

See, I'm not great at taking pills. One of my sensory issues as a neurodivergent individual is in swallowing them, so I try to keep them small. Metformin is anything but small, so I just defaulted to splitting the pill in half without reading the paperwork fully. I sort-of glanced at it and saw it said not to split the pills, but I guess it didn't fully register or something because I did it anyways.

In my mind it'd be fine, but I'm here 12hrs after taking that split pill with a burning asshole from shitting just about every 20min for the last 2hrs to tell you it's NOT fine. As it turns out there is a coating on the extended release version of metformin that makes it work the way it does (I googled it after the 4th trip to the porcelain god), and splitting the pill breaks this and can thus allow the whole of the medication to dump into your system all at once.

I just want to sleep. It's 5:17am and I'm tired. My asshole is on fire from so much shit and the wiping of said shit. My guts are angry. My anxiety is spiked. I'm nauseous. This was a terrible decision. I will never make this mistake again. I just assumed that the whole pill had a slow-release mechanism (not just a coating), and I was wrong. The unspeakable things that have happened in this bathroom tonight are going to assault my partner's senses when he wakes up in about an hour, the poor man. He too shall have to face the consequences of my choice. I have so many regrets, and so will his nose.

TL;DR: Cut my metformin extended release pill in half not realizing this would ruin the "extended release" part of the pill, and am suffering the side effects of gut distress and nausea in full-force.

Obligatory I'm on mobile, sorry for whatever blah blah blah.

Anyway, I work in a place where the next coworker to come in relieves the previous person. He showed up on time, we chatted. Not a bad guy, but it's a relatively new job and I don't know him that well yet. He seems nice, regardless.

While we chatted I gave him the notes and updates from my shift. Nothing much to say and it takes like 2 minutes. I grab my purse and make sure I have everything. And then I look him dead in the face and say, "Well, let me get out of your hair!"

Just my happy, autonomous customer service voice, loud as hell.

This man is shiny bald. Like reflecting the sun bald. Like you might go blind if you look at his head for too long bald. I'm not even sure he has hair anywhere, I mean his eyebrows could be fake and glued on for all I know. And you know what? I will never sleep again. That will replay in my head on a reel at 2am for the rest of my life. I have no idea what his reaction was. I had to leave immediately because WHY DID I SAY THAT??? And how do I face him again? We work together HELP HAHAHA

I'm not even sure if this belongs in TIFU, but I hope you, dear reader, are as entertained as my friends where when I told them.

TLDR: I said "Let me get out of your hair!" to a very bald man today.

Back in college, I was on spring break and met this gorgeous girl at the bar in the hotel I was staying at. We ended up making out for probably an hour before she told me she needed to head home.

Being young, horny, and completely unfamiliar with the area, I offered to ride home with her and pay for the cab. She agreed.

We hopped in and immediately picked up where we left off. After what felt like an eternity, I finally came up for air, glanced at the meter, and saw $85 and climbing. Rapidly.

I asked the cabbie how much farther we had to go.

“About another 20 minutes. We’re almost there.”

Fuck me running. Well, I was already in deep so at this point, I had to lock in and fully commit.

Fast forward to when we finally arrive to an upscale courtyard with about 20 very nice condos. I paid the cabbie, and walked her to the front door which happened to be the largest, most aesthetically pleasing condo in the community. We started making out again about 10 feet from her door, and after a few more minutes I asked if I could come inside.

“No, not tonight. My parents are home.”

And just like that, she shut the door.

I turned around to discover that my fucking cab was gone.

So there I was, stranded in some random neighborhood, horny as hell, with absolutely no idea where I was. I had to call another cab to take me all the way back to the hotel.

Total damage: $250 in cab fares and the worst case of blue balls I’ve ever had.

But here’s where it gets interesting…

When I finally made it back to the hotel bar, I told the bartender what happened. He immediately recognized the girl and started laughing.

Turns out that her father was a full-bird marine colonel who had just returned from his THIRD tour in Afghanistan.

The bartender looked at me and said something along the lines of:

“Buddy, you’re lucky her dad didn’t catch you. Otherwise, you’d never have to worry about blue balls again.”

So yeah. Spent $250, didn’t get laid, and somehow still walked away feeling like I’d gotten a pretty good deal.

———

TL;DR: Met a gorgeous girl on vacation, spent $250 on cab rides hoping to get laid, got cockblocked by her parents, and later found out her dad was a full-bird Army colonel fresh off his third Afghanistan deployment. Went home with the worst blue balls of my life, but apparently dodged a much bigger problem.

Changing names to keep privacy.

My cousin Hailee (34F) is a childless woman, no boyfriend, no pets, no job and lives with her dad (my uncle). While I (30F) have 2 kids, a cat, a fiancee and 2 jobs. Hailee has been borrowing money off of me for her addictions. Yes, I know. Im stupid for lending money. But she always managed to pay me back on the date she said she would. She basically began spam calling me and texting me to borrow money, and so I would give in so I could get back to work.

Well, the last time I lent her money she didnt pay me back. So I asked her what day she would pay me back. No reply.

Waited days, asked again. No reply.

So I tell my uncle that she lives with, about it and he said she will pay me back. I say fine.

Months later, she still hasnt paid me back and now wont even call me like she used to just to chat, wont text me, so I feel used.

So I crashed out on her. On every platform.

Snapchat, fb , texting.

I even told my uncle and he wasn't replying, just reading it.

So obviously im done with these people. Im not about to be used and stay in contact.

I was drinking and went nuclear.

I called her a loser for stealing money from me. I told her we are done and many things I dont remember and If I do, im not proud.

Anyways...

I look on Snapchat and see my friend of 15 years with the same name as my cousin has blocked me on everything.

I tried messaging her and she called me a psycho.

Looking back, I believe that I could have accidentally messaged the wrong "Hailee" on Snapchat.

Now her and my other mutual friend of 15 years have deleted me and wont talk to me.

In my head she should know she hasnt borrowed money off me and she has a common name. But in reality I guess I would probably do the same thing if someone messaged me blacking out over something I never did.....

TL;DR: TIFU by messaging the wrong person with the same name and now my friends of 15 years deleted me on everything.

I work at a small company and we've been reviewing some outside contracts to save money. One of our contractors has been working with us for almost two years, but management is considering not renewing her contract next month.

My manager asked me to schedule an internal meeting with three people from our team to discuss whether to renew her contract and who would take over her work if we didn't.

Instead of creating a new calendar event, I duplicated one of our weekly project meetings, changed the date to Friday, updated the title to "Contract renewal review and possible handover" and added a few notes about what needed to be discussed.

What I forgot to change was the guest list.

About 15 minutes later, the contractor replied to the invitation asking if she was supposed to attend a meeting about potentially ending her own contract.

She was still included because she'd been attending our weekly meetings for almost two years.

My manager called me immediately asking what the hell I'd sent out. They hadn't even decided whether to renew her yet and were planning to discuss their options before speaking to her.

She's now asking for clarification about her contract, and my manager has spent most of the afternoon dealing with it.

All because I couldn't be bothered to create a calendar event from scratch.

TL;DR: Duplicated a work meeting and forgot to remove the guest list. Accidentally invited a contractor to an internal meeting about potentially ending her contract before management had even made a decision.

My sister helps organize a kids soccer tournament and they rented this giant fox mascot costume for the weekend. I volunteered to return it since the rental place is close to my apartment.

One of the kids had spilled orange soda on the costume during pictures, so before returning it I figured I'd clean the sticky patch. I grabbed my mom's handheld clothes steamer thinking it would be harmless.

It worked for about 10 seconds until I noticed the orange fur starting to shrivel up. Turns out the heat was melting the synthetic fur. I panicked and tried trimming the damaged bits with scissors, which somehow made everything worse. The fox now had a massive bald patch across its stomach.

The rental place noticed immediately and showed me the tag inside that specifically says no heat. They're charging me $380 to replace the damaged part.

My sister also told me they were planning to rent the same costume for another event next weekend. So now the organizers know exactly why their fox is temporarily unavailable.

TL;DR: Tried to remove a soda stain from a rented mascot costume with a steamer, melted its fur, made it worse with scissors and got charged $380.

I had just gotten out of work and was feeling a bit of a sweet tooth. I was mentally exhausted from work and had eaten a fairly hearty lunch, so I decided I deserved a treat. Normally I would go to Wendy's for a frosty, but sadly the one on my route home closed a few months ago, so I decided to settle on the nearby McDonald's instead, despite not particularly liking their food.

I pull into the drive-thru and order a chocolate milkshake. The total comes out to $5.61. Despite my earlier justifications, I still feel uneasy about ordering only a McDonald's milkshake at 2:30pm. Whenever I'm feeling shameful about something I'm buying, I prefer to pay in cash, and this was just such an occasion.

(EDIT: I now realize how neurotic this sounds without context. I honestly don’t know why I thought this would be self-explanatory, lmao. As I explained in a reply, I periodically go through my transaction history on my banking app to check for fraud and review my spending habits. Therefore I’m frequently reminded of every single purchase I make with my card, and I’d rather not think about impulsive McD’s milkshake runs in the future. As to why I felt so shameful, well, that’s a whole other issue that you’re free to criticize me for.)

As I get in line with the other cars, I check my wallet. Empty. Well, the line was pretty long, so I figure I would have enough time to scrounge up some change from the center console.

Sure enough, by the time I'm at the window, I had collected 22 quarters, a dime, and a penny. I imagined that I must look like one of those assholes who pays in change just to ruin the cashier's day, but I was hoping I could laugh it off with them.

The window opens, and I see the cashier girl with my milkshake. She says the price, and I extend my fistful of coins to hand off. She reaches out her hand, but, to my surprise, her hand happened to be highly deformed, smaller than normal and missing about 3 1/2 fingers. Before I realize what's happening, I'm already dropping my absurd pile of coins into her unsuspecting palm. With no ability to properly grasp them, half the coins tumble right off her hand and scatter on the floor.

In a disappointed voice, all she says is "ohhh, why would you do this to me?"

I profusely apologize, throw my car into park, and open my door to collect the fallen coins. I very carefully hand the rest to her, then she counts them up with her one good finger and tells me I'm good to go. At this point, I'm horribly embarrassed, so I peel off with my milkshake as quickly as I can.

Naturally, I didn't get a chance to "laugh off" the situation, so I have no idea if the girl thought I was being a jokester or if she knew my payment method was totally incidental.

As expected, the milkshake was extremely mid.

I think, next time, I'll take a detour to the next nearest Wendy's.

TL;DR: I bought a milkshake with coins, but the poor drive-thru cashier didn't have the fingers to hold them. The other cars in line watched as I shamefully got out of my mine and picked up spilled coins, one by one.

There's this guy that offers a service I'm interested in for months now. I don't have any recommendations for him. I found him and his services via an YouTube video. He has a channel there with content about his services, that seems to be good. His videos are easy to digest and go directly to the point.

I've been following him for maybe 2 months now. On YouTube and Instagram.

More recently he changed a bit his videos. He got some sensationalist titles and cover images, and started doing ads for a clothing company. That raised a flag for me, that he's becoming yet another influencer, which is hard for me to take seriously. I thought of him as a professional using YouTube to show off and get more customers. But getting on a path to become an influencer is another story...

So I did was obvious to me: gave him my feedback, privately, on Instagram. One of his stories was those "ask me anything" with a small text we can send. I sent something like: "I don't want to offend, but your credibility is decreasing to me. You started being sensationalist on YouTube and now doing ads."

I've organized events, conferences, courses, and online communities. I know how important and useful is to get feedback, both for the good things and also for the things going bad. This last one is usually hard to digest, as is someone pointing at us what's bad, but IMO is the most important. This is what makes us improve.

But not for him. He got really angry. He replied publicly, but without mentioning my name, something like this:

My friend, the front door is there for a reason. You’re under no obligation to watch or read anything.

If you’re bothered by the 30 seconds of advertising for a T-shirt brand that I use, which has nothing to do with xxxxx and has decided to support me, then that’s much more your problem than mine.

In other words, in your opinion, does everything I say lose its value because of 30 seconds of advertising? Is that really how little you value all the content I produce?

You seem to be the type of people that only drains energy, wants everything for free, doesn't support anything and on top of that, you come here to criticize my work. Honestly, I want nothing to do with people like you. F*** your opinion.

There are plenty of "credible" influencers out there promising the moon and the stars, selling "xxxxx" opportunities. Go ahead and follow them, be happy.

I clearly made his day worse, and that made me feel very bad.

What should I do? Part of me want to apologize to him. Part of me want to just forget this. I'm not sure I feel offended, but his answer impacted me in a very bad way. I barely slept this night thinking of all of this. I'm afraid of being banned from his events/system.

I regret telling that to him.

TL;DR: accidentally annoyed professional I was considering hiring. I feel bad to have made his day worse.

Important: not immediat relatives (very distant, probably) and nothing has, or will, happen, this isnt any weird incest shit.

so, I (19, nb) have recently begun studying for a degree. first day of classes, the prof starts to take attendance, and one last name sounds awfully familliar. For context, my moms from a family that largely lives in the countryside and procreates like rabbits so my extended family is fkn huge (i know like maybe 10% of my cousins once removed personaly, and its not uncommon that iv'e never met someone im related to)

so yeah, this guy has the name of my moms family. i immediatly start going through all the people that could potentially have kids my age and come up with way too many. I figured it might be fun if were actually related, so i start talking to him (i dont tell him abt the related thing tho, didnt wanna be weird), and he's actually really nice, we match on worldviews, humor hobbies ect and he starts hanging out with my friendgroup from highschool and me, we text lots and study together. Meanwhile im still trying to figure out if he's like, a distant cousin or some sht. I ask my mom, who comes up with no one blood related in our family tree down from my maternal great grandparents, so i figure it's probably just a weird coincidence and let it go.

well, we've grown kinda close over the past few weeks, and i feel like he might have started to crush on me, or at least he's sending hella mixed signals, and i kinda can't say i don't feel anything abt him? He's really my type and we mesh really well. But there's still the off chance that were distantly related, so now i feel like i lost a major chance at someone i'd genuinely could behappy with- but i just don't wanna risk it.

TL;DR: met a guy, same last name as my grandma, did some digging and am fairly sure were not related, have a crush on him but i cant get it out of my head that we could be related

(Posting it again without brand name, this is not an ad)

So I've been interviewing for tech jobs for a bit now and the market is completely fucked, so out of desperation and nerves I started using this AI assisted tool during interviews, It basically listens to the interviewer and generates answers (highlighted keywords) on a screen overlay so I can just read them off.

Anyway, today I had an interview for a really good senior dev role. Things were going fine for the first 45 minutes or so, I was relying on this tool here and there to fill in gaps and keeping good eye contact so I didn't look suspicious.

At around the 48th minute mark, the interviewer hits me with this super complex edge-case technical question about high concurrency and race conditions. Without even thinking, I read off the generated AI answer word for word, super fast and confident like I was some kind of coding wizard.

As soon as I finished talking, the interviewer just stopped.

He stared at me. My heart completely stopped. I went into instant panic mode thinking I was busted. I was expecting he will say something like "If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook" from social network

Then he finally goes "Look, I usually don't say this mid-interview, but that was a real edge case you got there. Honestly, I've interviewed like 30 people this month and you're the first person who actually got so far."

I had to sit there while feeling like the biggest imposter on earth.

Now I got pushed to the final round and I'm terrified because I set the bar impossibly high for a job I actually want.

TL;DR: Used an AI interview assistant, thought I got caught at minute 48 because the interviewer stopped talking, but he was actually just blown away by my answer and gave me a strong hire recommendation while I almost had a panic attack.

​

The girl who loved me told me she doesn't love me anymore and that I pushed her away. Obviously, I changed, and that had a lot to do with how she saw me. The worst part of all is why I changed.

I changed because I was holding on to the hope that my best friend of over five years would love me back. After almost two months of waiting for an answer (months filled with arguments, but also so many beautiful moments, sex, affection, taking care of each other, deeply intimate conversations, mutual declarations of love and adoration, and promises of spending our lives together, along with conversations about a future as a couple), his answer, after everything, was: "You're not what I want."

What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?

We're stuck together here, in my dad's house, thousands of miles away from home, with nobody else here except the two of us and my family (yes, MY FAMILY, WITH MY DAD), in a foreign country where we don't speak the language. We're on a journey we'd been planning for months, something we were both so excited to experience.

I'm not the best person in the world. In fact, I've always considered myself a disgusting person. I've thought that about myself my entire life, and yet I still hold on to the hope that someday, someone will love me.

I felt so loved during these past two months. He's always made me feel that way, until I look at his messages. Until I see how much he misses other people, how he sleeps with other girls, how sweetly he talks to them, how lovingly he treats them, how special he makes them feel, just like he does with me. (Even though they would never do for him what I've done.)

And all I can do is watch as the person I've considered my entire world chooses to be with, desire, and adore other people before me. He keeps looking for other girls, trying to be with them, while I'm right here beside him because I understand him, because I make him feel good and loved in a way nobody else ever has. Those are his own words.

He told me that, at the beginning of this trip, he wanted me to be his girlfriend and had even thought about asking me. The hope that gave me was so overwhelming that I did everything. I left everything behind. I abandoned my life and the girl I was dating so I could be with him and love him.

And it was the worst decision of my entire existence.

I lost everything, and I'm alone again. And the worst part is that I know I deserve it. This is karma for the pain I've caused other people, for all my bad decisions, and for the fact that at 20 years old, my life has no meaning or direction whatsoever.

The love I carry inside me is enormous, and it weighs so heavily on me that I can't move forward. I can't move at all. All I've been able to do these past few days is cry uncontrollably, seemingly for no reason.

The thought of killing myself sounds so beautiful when my days already feel so dead and painful because of my own actions.

It's not just jealousy or envy that I'm feeling. It's not even my shattered pride that's destroying me.

It's the pain of an entire lifetime of never being enough for anyone. Absolutely anyone.

Not even for myself.

To clarify the timeline: This was a three-month trip that my best friend and I had planned together long before I met the girl I was dating. We had already bought the tickets and everything.

A few days after I left for the trip, she asked me for some time apart from our relationship, but we stayed in touch as friends. Then everything happened between my best friend and me, and I gradually started talking to her less and less, until she eventually stopped replying altogether and left me on read for about another month.

When she finally reached out, she sent me a voice message telling me that she had been faking it all along, that she had been forcing herself to imagine us together and trying to make herself see us as a couple. She said I had been a very beautiful but complicated experience for her, and that things were better this way.

TL;DR: I fell in love with my best friend of over five years, abandoned my life and the girl I was dating for the hope of being with him, only to be rejected after two months of mixed signals and promises. Now I'm stuck abroad with him, heartbroken, and struggling to cope with the consequences of my decisions.

This happened a few days ago at work. Part of my job is handling renewals for company vehicles.

In late July, I keyed in the road tax renewal for one of the company cars on our requisition system. I filled in everything, saved it, and moved on. What I didn't do was click "Process", so the requisition never got submitted to the Procurement Department. I also never went back to check its status. In my head, it was done.

Mid-September, the road tax quietly expired. Nobody noticed.

On October, I got a call from a colleague in another department. The car had been stopped at a police roadblock because the road tax had expired. She asked about the renewal status. I told her I had assumed it was already renewed, then logged in and saw the requisition sitting there unprocessed since July.

The next day I told my supervisor what happened. She and a couple of other colleagues, plus our vendor, helped me sort it out. The vendor handled the insurance and told me to renew the road tax in person at a post office counter. I did that at same day.

Today I found out someone filed a whistleblowing report about the incident. I have to cooperate with the governance department

TL;DR I filled out a company car's road tax renewal but forgot to click "Process" and never checked on it. The tax expired, the car got stopped at a police roadblock, and now it's become a whistleblowing case where I have to submit a full chronology to governance.

Obligatory this happened yesterday

I (26F) had a job interview at an eldery home/neighborhood facility. For context the job was for activities coordinator as well as volunteer coordinator (they work with a lot of volunteers to help with the activities). I've worked in travel/events sector with a lot of volunteers, but never in eldery care.

The first interview went very well and I got invited for the second interview. I prepared good for the first one but the second one I wasn't really sure what to expect because I've never had a second job interview before.

I was really excited, because it's a very cool facility in terms of living conditions for the eldery, with the perfect amount of hours, great pay and I was genuinly excited to work in this place.

The fuck up happened when they asked me why I'd wanted to work with eldery. The answer I would've given was that I wasn't specifically interested in the job because it was working with eldery, but also because there are so many different parties you'd be in contact with (residents, volunteers, organisations, family/friends/caregivers), and that I think I could learn from eldery people. I like to spend time with a different generation.

Except I completely blanked and forgot what to say and I just went with the first thing that came to me which was that I don't have grandparents anymore. However before I even said that I started choking up, but it was too late, so as I started saying that sentence I started getting tears in my eyes. I was MORTIFIEDDDD. Tbh I thought I recovered well bc no tears actually left my eyes lol but now that I'm looking back on it I really didn't, because I went on to say I'd just like to spend time with that group of people. Instead of saying that I feel like I can try to connect with the residents and give them a nice day like I would've wanted my grandparents to be treated, I couldn't even come up with that in the moment. So it was just so bad all around.

I really miss my grandparents and honestly, I really like working with eldery people (I've had them as a target group during events before). I'm generally a quite emotional person and this was just way too personal of a comment and I immediately knew I fucked up because 1. I'm choking up during a job interview which is just so unprofessional and 2. it's soooo the wrong answer because the residents there die every couple of months. 😭 Like it's the worst thing to say probably lol.

The lady replied really nice and said it was beautiful but the other guy was very straight, from a village, not a bs type of guy. They never even discussed salaries or conditions with me after that so I knew they already had written me off.

Honestly I feel like this will be the type of thing I can look back on and laugh about in a while but I just feel so embarrassed and mortified. They were gonna call me in the afternoon after the job interview, so I was waiting anxiously all day just wanting to get the rejection over with. But they never even called yesterday, I just got a call this morning and she also sounded like she just wanted to get it over with lol. I was going to ask what the reason was but really felt way too uncomfortable to do that. Raaaaaaaaah

TL;DR went in for a 2nd job interview at an eldery home, the recruiters asked why I wanted to work with eldery bc i haven't before and i choked up whilst saying i don't have grandparents anymore. :|

A few weeks ago, I ordered some cookie dough to support my nephew's kid's sports team, and after shipping it cost me around $100. That makes it seem like I ordered a lot. No, each variety made 24 cookies, cost $24, and I ordered three total. Two weeks ago, I bought a costume for my niece from an online cosplay shop for Halloween. A week ago, a box was delivered while I wasn't home, so my partner brought it inside and set it in the living room. I'm sure you can see where this is going.

I have a habit of not opening something right away if I know what it is, and this time was no exception. I saw the medium-sized box and just assumed it was the costume, and left it on the floor for the next time I would see my sister.

Today was that day. I started getting everything together for her so I wouldn't forget anything, and picked up the box for the first time. It was heavy. A little too heavy for just a costume and wig. Confused, I opened it up to see a large thermal foil bag, and I legit thought the cosplay shop scammed me by sending whatever these hard lumpy things in this bag were.

Yeah, it was three damp boxes of cookie dough and two melted freezer packs. And they were just sitting there, for a week, on my living room floor. $100 wasted. in this economy! I should've just donated cash.

TL;DR: wasted a significant amount of money by not opening a delivery of frozen cookie dough right away resulting in it thawing out and going bad.

EDIT: After a third person asked about the status of the costume, I decided to actually check my email about it. First thing I noticed was my email must've been sold from the influx of emails from costume websites that I'd never heard of before, but more importantly, I found a tracking number. The costume has cleared customs! I thank you all for your concern about it, but I will not, as one commenter suggested, eat said costume upon its arrival lmao.

So to give some background, I work in a very emotionally draining field. I have suffered through depression most of my life but have neglected to take care of my mental health. Then about two months ago I started having multiple panic attacks a day to the point where I was no longer able to function at work. I ended up taking a medical leave of absence and enrolled in a partial hospitalization program which includes substantial group therapy.

During the first few weeks I was there, I did not really speak to anyone and was taking breaks during group sessions due to emotional breakdowns. A new girl around my age then began attending, and was also having emotional breakdowns. At one point we were both "lectured" about taking breaks from group. This led to us beginning to talk to each other during treatment and even after daily treatment despite the rules stating we are not supposed to speak anyone in group outside of group until we are discharged. The therapists do not know this is occurring but im sure they can see that we are close.

We would have multiple hours long conversations after daily treatment and I eventually ended up asking for her number. She said she also wanted to ask for mine and so we exchanged numbers and have been talking almost daily. She has also called me a few times in tears due to something that happened in her day and I would be on the phone with her for hours and turns out she works in the same field as me. We have confided in each other regarding very personal matters that we couldn't share in a group setting.

Recently, I have noticed that ive begun to think about her alot and actively look forward to seeing her everyday and talking to her. I am not sure if those feelings are just due to being vulnerable with someone or if I am actively having feelings for her and now it is incredibly awkward for me in group therapy since we sit by each other.

TL;DR: Think I fucked up crushing on a girl in group therapy and now i feel super awkward.

I was helping out at a community center fundraiser over the weekend. They were trying to save money by having volunteers handle everything, and I somehow ended up in charge of announcing the raffle winners.

There were two raffles, one for restaurant vouchers and another for a donated kids bike.

When it came time to announce the bike winner, I accidentally mixed up the raffle bowls and pulled a ticket from the wrong one.

I read the number and this guy in the back starts cheering. His son, probably around 10, comes running up and hugs him. Everyone claps, we hand them the bike, great moment.

About five minutes later the woman organizing everything realized I'd drawn from the wrong bowl.

I had to find the dad and explain what happened. The kid had already taken the bow off the handlebars and called his grandpa to tell him he'd won a bike.

The dad was surprisingly understanding, but having to ask a kid to give back a bike he'd just won in front of everyone was probably the worst interaction I've ever had.

We put his ticket back in the correct bowl and redid the bike draw. The actual winner even offered to give it to the kid, but his dad insisted he keep it.

I spent the rest of the event stacking chairs because nobody trusted me near the raffle table anymore.

TL;DR: Picked a ticket from the wrong raffle bowl, gave a kid a bike he hadn't actually won and had to ask for it back after he'd already celebrated.

So I recently decided that instead of getting my balls waxed like a civilized human being, I’d save myself some money and shave them.

How hard could it be? I’ve got a razor, two balls, and an unreasonable amount of confidence. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, for approximately 24 glorious hours, I thought I’d made the greatest decision of my life. They were smoother than a dolphin covered in baby oil. I was walking around feeling like I’d unlocked some secret level of personal hygiene.

Then the hair started growing back.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

My balls now feel like two hedgehogs fighting for survival inside a wool sock.

Every step I take feels like someone is dragging a strip of Velcro across my scrotum. Sitting down is uncomfortable. Walking is uncomfortable. Existing is uncomfortable.
I went from having the smoothest balls in the Western Hemisphere to carrying around what feels like a pair of cactus plants in my underwear.

And the itching. Dear God, the itching.
I can’t exactly reach down and start aggressively scratching my nuts in the middle of a grocery store without ending up on some kind of list.

The worst part? I did this voluntarily. Nobody forced me. I looked at my perfectly functional balls and thought, “You know what these need? A landscaping project.”
So now I’m sitting here, questioning every decision that led me to this moment, wondering how something that felt so incredible yesterday can feel like I’ve stuffed my underwear with fiberglass insulation today.

To anyone considering shaving their balls instead of waxing them, enjoy your 24 hours of luxury. The bill comes due tomorrow.

And to anyone who’s survived this particular circle of hell, how long until my balls stop feeling like a pair of angry porcupines?

TL;DR: Shaved my balls to avoid waxing. Enjoyed one glorious day of smoothness. Now my underwear is hosting a cactus convention and I’m the unwilling venue.

Tonight I was finishing up a bus route (I'm a city bus driver) and I had a completely normal day with my passengers up until just before bringing the bus back to base. Before I got to my last stop, there was a gentleman who boarded. I informed him that I'd only be driving up the road and not back to town. He said that was fine but he asked me if it was alright if I'd bring him back to the street I picked him up on after I went out of service. I normally don't allow this, especially picking someone back up AFTER going out of service, but I was going back the same way anyway so I agreed to it. After I ended my run, I stopped at the location he said he would be at, waiting for me and picked him up. He nodded and I said 'welcome back' as I do with just about every passenger I see for a second time. When we got to the light he wanted to be dropped off at, I did not stop. Instead I merged into the left lane as I'm supposed to when out of service. It was like I forgot he was there. Immediately after my maneuver, this grown man's voice cracks as he yelps, "man, where are you taking me?!" I immediately apologized and said I'd turn around, but he didn't talk to me after that. Probably because I just about gave this guy a heart attack. After I dropped him off, I realized he probably thought I was kidnapping him for a second and died laughing (it's how I handle embarrassment).

TL;DR: I drove a passenger on a bus after I was supposed to be heading back to base and missed his stop. This scared the crap out of this guy and he got off pretty damn quick after that. Not my intention, but TIFU and It was hilarious!

she meant Kendell. Her daughter. I only heard the end of the sentence (think, "[...] when my Kindle died.") I asked her what she liked to read. She asked me what I was talking about. Oh, just her Kindle, like she was just talking about. And then I learned we don't even have compatible reading tastes. They're going to put me down like a dog for this one. Why did I enter the conversation. She wasn't even talking to me. I was just in the same room as her. I could have wondered about her out-of-battery ereader for ten seconds and moved on with my life but I instead reached for the juiciest can of worms in arms' length and cracked that sucker open right in the break room

TL;DR: asked about a coworker's device (Kindle) dying when she was talking about her daughter (Kendell) dying.

Obligatory “didn’t actually happen today,” it was my junior year of high school but I’m reminded of it every now and then and cringe. Also gonna try to be vague and not name names.

So I went to high school with a lot of children of celebrities, but wasn’t friends with any of them — or so I thought. This kid and I were pretty friendly with each other freshman year, but over the years we weren’t placed in classes together as often and just didn’t see each other as much, but we always said hi whenever we did cross paths. He’s pretty successful himself now and I’m super happy for him, he was always a great guy.

We had one class together junior year. One day we had a sub teacher, who looked over the list of names in class joked “John [famous name]? is that like Robert [famous name]?” To which my friend responded “Yeah, he’s my dad.”

And for some reason, I just didn’t believe him? I think I was just so confused how I could know this guy for three years and consider him a friend and also have no idea that his dad was a celebrity. How could I have not known? The worst part is that I made him prove it. He pulled up a photo on his phone, and I dropped it, but it still felt so strange.

The actual worst part is I didn’t find out until I got home that day that his dad had passed away years ago.

We never talked about it again and I’m sure he doesn’t remember that interaction, and if he does I trust that he hopefully doesn’t hold it against me. But MAN I die a little inside every time I remember that. If you happen to be reading this dude, I’m sorry about 16 year-old me’s social blunder, and I‘m really glad you seem to be doing so well. You were one of the nicest people at a really not-nice school :)

TL;DR: I found out my friend’s late father was a celebrity and didn’t believe him until he proved it.

I (early 20s F) and my bf (also early 20s M) (not being specific with age because of how embarrassed I am and I don’t want anyone who knows us to find this) went to an away weekend for his frat last weekend. (NSFW Trigger warning: talk of alcohol and throw up). I am posting this because I genuinely don’t know what to do and I’m so embarrassed and need advice.

Background: we have been together for quite some time now and have know each other all of high school and college. We have both been in situations where we have had a little too much fun at the bars but NEVER like this. I have never blacked out before and am not normally a big drinker due to my anxiety of not being in control of my body and just the overall feeling of being sick.

I honestly don’t know how I got this bad this quick. We pregamed the bar and I only had 2 seltzers (which is normal for me). I was honestly feeling normal by the time we got to the bar and actually making sure him and his friends were close behind because they pre gamed a little hard. I think where I went wrong is we didn’t have time to get dinner before but both weren’t hungry from the big late lunch we had. Anyway it was open tab so I got 2 drinks off that and they were STRONG. Still didn’t chug (never really have been a fast drinker) so by the time I was done the tab was gone and basically everyone was pretty hammered. At this point I was feeling good and I got another 2 drinks after that. Those were my last of the night. I remember basically everything up to leaving. I was honestly just drunk at that point until I just was gone. I don’t remember leaving or getting back to the hotel.

But this is where it gets bad, my memory is really spotty at this point but I do remember absolutely throwing up everywhere when we got back to the room. I have only ever thrown up once from drinking before this so this is really out of the norm for me. I just felt like I had no control and apparently he put me in the bed and I threw up all over it and I guess was bleeding from falling??? He was trying his best to take care of me considering he was also drunk and did an amazing job don’t worry. I guess at some point after 3 hours (according to him) fell asleep and slept through the night.

That morning he told me I have no self control and we had to have a big talk when we got home (back to school) which I feel is unfair (the part about the self control) since I didn’t think I drank that much and have never ever blacked out or really gotten to the point where I’m sick from drinking. I ended up sobbing to him for an hour when we got back home (school) and kept apologizing for how bad I was and that I’m so sorry he had to deal with that. I feel like our relationship is different now and that he resents me for having “no self control”. I told him I don’t want to drink like that again and don’t really want to go out (considering I never really liked the whole going out culture and college bar scene).

I honestly am just so upset at myself and it doesn’t help that I’m beyond embarrassed and obviously didn’t mean to throw up everywhere or lose control. He just has been mad at me and almost acting weird/ distant and keeps telling me something feels off. I could really use some advice right now. Obviously I know I’m in the wrong for drinking that much and am so embarrassed but normally I hold my alcohol extremely well since I was exposed to it at a young age from parents and their friends and knew I never wanted to be like that… maybe that’s why I’m so mad at myself because I did get to that point. I’m not looking for sympathy just sincerely looking for advice on how to go about my boyfriend saying our relationship feels off. (It also is taking me a lot to post on here since this is genuinely the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me and I’m so mad at myself for acting this way and losing control like I did).

TL;DR: basically drank to much and threw up for 3 hours when we got back to the hotel and my bf said I don’t have self control and that our relationship feels “off”. Need advice, never drank to the point of being so sick like this.