r/teslore • • 1h ago

The Lusty Argonian Maid: A Mechanical Analysis

• Upvotes

Archivist's Note:
Alavani Arano, Clockwork Apostle and Archivox scholar of Tamrielic literary curiosities, encountered the following adaptation while reviewing the work of the Factotum designated the Clockwork Archivist, whose assignment to catalogue significant examples of Tamrielic dramatic literature resulted in an unexpected encounter with Crassius Curio's celebrated play, The Lusty Argonian Maid.

The machine had classified the scene as a domestic sanitation scenario involving an employer, an employee, and an improperly maintained weapon. It had further concluded that the dialogue contained an unusual quantity of redundant phrasing for what appeared to be a straightforward exchange concerning household duties.

I confess to some irritation that the Clockwork Archivist's considerable analytical faculties appear to have deserted it at precisely the point where a mortal audience might find the scene most entertaining. Its report proceeds with admirable mechanical precision, yet somehow arrives at conclusions that would astonish even the most decorous of readers. I have refrained from correcting its findings. There is, after all, a certain scholarly value in observing how a mind entirely untroubled by innuendo might attempt to catalogue the works of Crassius Curio.


ACT IV, SCENE III, CONTINUED

Lifts-Her-Tail: Negative, respected male individual. My present objective is limited to the removal of dust and other unwanted particulate matter from your private chambers.

Crantius Colto: Is the removal of dust your sole intended purpose, diminutive employee? From my chambers specifically?

Lifts-Her-Tail: I cannot determine the implied secondary meaning of your inquiry, master. My biological classification is Argonian, and my occupational designation is maid.

Crantius Colto: Affirmative, my small spherical confection. Your lower limbs exhibit considerable structural strength, and your posterior appendage possesses pleasing curvature.

Lifts-Her-Tail: Your unsolicited assessment of my anatomical characteristics is producing an elevated level of social discomfort, sir.

Crantius Colto: You may disregard this discomfort. Current environmental conditions indicate that you are in no immediate danger in my presence.

Lifts-Her-Tail: I must resume my assigned sanitation duties, sir. Failure to complete them may result in severe disciplinary consequences administered by the female proprietor of this residence.

Crantius Colto: Sanitation duties, you say? I have identified an implement requiring immediate attention. Please undertake the necessary procedures to improve its surface finish.

Lifts-Her-Tail: An objection: the implement in question exceeds my initial expectations regarding its dimensions. Completion of the requested maintenance procedure may require an entire nocturnal cycle.

Crantius Colto: Time availability is sufficient, my agreeable associate. Time availability is exceptionally sufficient.

END OF ACT IV, SCENE III


r/teslore • • 8h ago

Are actual effects of decay, corruption, cruelty, injustice, destruction etc. connected to daedric influence? Or disfavour from gods

2 Upvotes

Let's say ther are those things that are not directly caused by daedric lords' meddling, but bad things could happen when something goes bad. Who do you blamed? Are they ultimately part of the daily struggles of aedra vs daedra (light vs dark)? Perhaps disfavour from gods due to unpious acts or that their instutes are defiled or tenets disobeyed? Would theologians claim that human shortcomings, environment, historical background or flaw in a system equally can be blamed (but then what causes these)?

What is evil and how it works in a metaphysical and magickal sense?


r/teslore • • 17h ago

How did people deal with tongues?

29 Upvotes

The thu'um used to be relatively common farther back in nordic history before jurgen did his thing and made it all about worship but before that nord armies would enlist tongues in their armies rather than siege weapons since they could just shout down enemies walls which leads me to the question of how did opposing armies deal with this? were nords smaller in number or were mages just much more commonplace in armies back then for the same reason


r/teslore • • 4h ago

How large are the larger nordic ruins in lore?

8 Upvotes

Something that's commonly discussed in the Elder Scrolls series is how the games downscale the size of the world spaces for gameplay purposes. A common example of this is both modern cities as well as Dwemer ruins, for example.

In lore Whiterun alone would probably be larger than all hold capitals in game combined, and blackreach should be the size of a small country in itself.

Now, I have wondered what the actual size of larger Nordic ruins would be. Some examples might be Labyrinthian, Saarthal, Forelhost, and Skuldafn.

Many nordic ruins are just tombs, so it stands to reason that they are a practical size, relatively speaking. But a few of them are former cities. Now I wonder what the lore accurate size of these cities would be, given the time they were constructed. If we want to draw real-life parallels, I would like to point out the Roman settlement of Carnuntum, near nowadays Vienna, Austria, and If I remember correctly, that settlement used to be much much larger and densly populated compared to how the area is populated today. By that measure, I would argue that ancient times isn't a direct link to population size or urbanization.

I imagine Saarthal or Labyrinthian ought to be vast megacities relative to their time period. Probably close to the larger cities in modern-day Skyrim. Smaller fortified settlements like Forelhost were probably the size cities like Markath, as they are depicted in game.

The only thing I can't wrap my head around is Skuldafn.

It's a Necropolis with an immense size, even in game, and it's built for dragons, with a portal to Sovngarde. I feel like it should be the pinnacle of development, architecture and craftsmanship for ancient nords. Something like the great pyramids are in our time.

What are your thoughts on this?


r/teslore • • 5h ago

The Immortality of Dragons

4 Upvotes

To start this off, I understand that dov can't be killed except by other dov or dovahkiin. If dov were consuming their brethren's souls right and left since the dawn age, how would a dovah be able to be resurrected if another dovah already came and absorbed their power? Given how many dragon burial mounds in game and expanding by 10-20x since Skyrim is a scaled down version of the actual size, there had to have been a hell of a lot of dov if there are so few left and there were dovahkiin throughout recorded history consuming their souls.

If the dovahkiin dies after consuming hundreds of dragon souls, is he functionally immortal like a dovah is, or would the souls be released back into the world to be rejoined with the bones of the dov since the dovahkiin is a man and therefore not immortal as a dovah is?