I’m 33m, went to a music event/rave with some friends and got intro’ed to this fit pretty single mom who were one of my friends friend. We had a lot of fun and danced at the music event, I was even hugging her from behind during the euphoric moments. I didn’t really escalate further though as I was more genuinely enjoying the music and goofing around with my friends and having fun.

Fast forward a few weeks after the event, she friend requested me on IG. We’ve been chatting every day since. Lots of flirting, jokes and all the text book game. But, sometimes she would say things like “we should be friends” or “i enjoy my single life” then flip the book and we get back to flirting where shed say stuff like “you crossed my mind today” or “I’d be shy and nervous around you when we catchup”.

I’m having dinner with her this weekend, not sure whether I should try or not. Don’t want to waste my time if she is just seeking attention when she is bored and won’t let me hit it.

Every time I go to my university club, I usually have a moment with an attractive woman, but I can never seem to close for sex or a date. Sometimes, I even see them with other men afterwards.
I have no problem taking Ls at all, but it’s really jarring to see them with another guy after they’ve been dancing with or kissing you. I’ve had more moments like that than I’ve had actual success pulling women, and when I do pull, the majority of the time it’s me initiating, my timing has to be perfect, etc.
It’s really embarrassing for me because it feels like the ball is in my hands, but I somehow always fumble it. As much as I believe it’s down to SMV, I see less attractive guys pulling in the club all the time, or guys I know who approach less than me having more success.
Granted, I’m still working on my SMV, but that’s a very long-term process. Any advice on what to do? Because at this point, I’m just going to take another break from women and “work on myself.” I just can’t take the constant rejection or these invisible barriers anymore.

• Crucial behaviors: You typically HAVE to do these to succeed.
• Non-crucial behaviors: They're good things to do, but they aren't strictly necessary.

Examples of CRUCIAL behaviors:

• These MOVE the PLOT FORWARDS. That includes:
• Approaching
• Getting contact info
• Moving to private location
• Physical escalation

Examples of NON-crucial behaviors:

• These DON'T move the PLOT forwards. That includes:
• Flirting
• Setting frames
• Push-pull
• Teasing
• Interpreting indicators of interest
• Building sexual tension
• Having good conversation skills
• Being funny
• Appearing confident
• Body language / posture

The trap that sooo many guys do is that they spend like 90% of their effort focusing on non-crucial behaviors. And the reason they do this, is because they're afraid of rejection.

If you notice: Almost ALL crucial behaviors can lead to rejection.

Non-crucial behaviors typically DON'T lead to rejection.

This is why so many guys choose the "safe" route. They spend their time and focus on the safe things that just helps a little bit but doesn't actually move the needle. It doesn't drive the plot. It doesn't lead to the results they want.

FOR EXAMPLE:

Johnny struggles with women. He asks how to improve his FLIRTING. Meanwhile. He is NOT approaching, he is NOT asking for contact info, he is NOT inviting her to a private location, and he is NOT physically escalating. He wants help with FLIRTING first.

See the problem? Jonny wants to bake a cake, but instead of buying the core ingredients first, he went straight to the "cake decoration" isle.

In night life and friends group a like it is almost always the somewhat chopped to meh girls who are super into me. In clubs I would get approached and on some occassions someone would make an attempt to kiss. Writing or giving any attention would result in my chat filling up with paragraphs.

On several occassions some of the girl's who were mildly attractive made 2+ hours of drive at night to my place.

With attractive women on the other hand there is pretty much no contact beyond within common friends.

I feel like I might be chopped enough to match said in terms of looks hencewhy the attention from them while receive very little from the ones that I do want

I see so many posts on how to pickup girls but I feel many here lose the bigger picture:

1. Focus on your health: you should be working out daily, eating well. This improves your energy, skin tone, and is a sign of healthy body and mind

2. Focus on tour career/business: Nothing attracts a woman more than a successful man whose got ambitions and is making bank.

Sure you can try other tricks here or there amd get lucky sometimes but the most successful men in this area are usually healthy and financially well off.

Once you have those two locked in, everything else comes naturally.

First real cold approach of my life!

Context & Background:
I'm 26(M) from Mexico, 5'7" (1.70m), decent shape, on face looks I would consider myself more towards the attractive side (im not Brad Pitt but im not a gremlin) overall I would say I’m a solid 8 could me more or less depending on who you ask. I’ve been hitting the gym consistently for the last 4 months so a think that 8 can get better. Anyways the target is this stunning, very fit ~40yo gym trainer that I met at the supermarket and then approached at the parking lot, she is like a head smaller than me with an athletic build; curly hair, beautiful smile, eyes and nose. GREAT ASS and AMAZING PAIR OF TITS, who apparently runs her own gym outside the city.

This was a 2 interaction approach, and I think it went fine.

PHASE 1: The seed (Supermarket bakery - ~3min)
Ran into her at the grocery store below my gym. We made eye contact and I smiled at her and she smiled back. We were waiting at the bakery counter, but no staff was around. She jokingly peeked into the back to call them. I jumped on the opportunity to playfully say: "Nobody's there, huh? Guess the bread is free today." She laughed and echoed the joke. I made strong eye contact with her. And DAMN! that was the moment I knew this was my opportunity, but I didn’t take action there.

PHASE 2: The Hesitation & The Re-approach (~10 - 15min talk at the parking lot)
After that, I lost her in the aisles, went down to the parking garage, put my groceries and gym bag in my car, and almost drove home. But I knew I just couldn’t let go that opportunity and never see her again, so I forced myself back up the escalators. Adrenaline was at 200%.
I waited near the exit, saw her leaving with her cart, followed her down to the parking area, and approached her from behind—touching her shoulder to get her attention. Mistake noted: It was late and quiet; she got startled. I immediately apologized with a calm smile. She laughed it off once she saw I was harmless: "Sorry, nobody was around, so you scared me a bit.", she said.

Direct Opener & Relationship Status: Told her I thought she was one of the most attractive women I’d seen, asked for her name, and made my intent clear by asking if she was single. She simply smiled and replied: "It's complicated." I didn't let that freeze me; I held frame and kept the conversation rolling.

Age Frame & Shit Test: She asked my age right away. I held frame initially ("Old enough"), which made her laugh: "You're just a kid, why don't you guys go after girls your age?" I replied that girls my age were too chaotic/unfocused; she agreed. Eventually told her I'm 26; and she revealed she has two sons (28 and 22).

Common Ground & Profession: She asked what I do, and I told her I'm an architect. She immediately replied: "Oh, look, my 22yo son is an architect too!" I fired back with: "Well, then he and I are going to get along great," which made us both laugh.

Gym & Fitness Connection: Found out she’s a trainer who just returned from a trip to El Salvador and hurt her back squatting. I connected that with my workout (mentioned I strained my lower back on hip thrusts and bantered: "Maybe you should train me so I stop hurting myself"). She smiled and kind of nodded her head and said “yeah, maybe.”

Travel Banter: When she mentioned she was from El Salvador, I told her a friend of mine is traveling there right now and keeps raving about how beautiful the country is. Then I dropped: "Well, now I have one more reason to visit," and she laughed again.

Vibe & Flow: The entire parking lot interaction lasted about 10–15 minutes. It wasn't one-sided: she actively asked me questions, expanded on my topics, held strong eye contact, played with her hair ocassionally, and had open body language. I wouldn’t say she was into me right away, but what I can surely tell it’s that she was a bit flattered about me approaching her and she was at least felling comfortable during the interaction.

PHASE 3: The Close & The Friction

Asked for her phone number. Result: Soft rejection ("Mmmm, No, I don’t think so").

Counter-offer: She insisted I find her on Facebook. She watched over my shoulder as I typed it, and confirmed her profile: "Yes, that one."

The Quirk: Her profile has the "Add Friend" button disabled (only "Message" is available, likely privacy settings for non-friends).

Exit: I was so fucking nervous that I ran out of things to say and she initiated the wrap-up: "Well (said my name), nice to meet you." extending her hand first. I took her hand and smoothly leaned in for a cheek kiss; she was completely receptive and reciprocated without hesitation.

QUESTIONS FOR THE SUB

Overall Rating & Critique:
How would you rate this interaction overall for a first-ever cold approach? Given the setting, the age gap, and the initial startle, what are the biggest technical or calibration flaws you notice, and what should I focus on improving next time?

The "It's Complicated" & Social Media Angle:
How would you read the dynamic of her dropping "it's complicated", denying her phone number, but staying engaged for 15 minutes and then giving me her facebook profile?

The Next Move:
Since her profile only allows a direct DM rather than a friend request, what’s the optimal first message to send here to capitalize without sounding intense or generic?

Personal Reflection:
I’ve been following this sub for about a year now, reading countless posts with the intention of, you know, drilling down the theory. But if there’s one recurring theme in almost every thread here, it’s that no amount of theory works unless you actually put it into practice and go talk to a real woman.

All I remember right after was getting into my car and laughing like an absolute maniac. It felt like I had just unlocked some ancient secret or something, when all I really did was take the very first step toward tearing down my fears. I felt an insane surge of self-esteem rush through my body like nothing I’d ever experienced before.

I know there are guys here with crazy amounts of experience, and to them, this might sound like a baby step. But this reflection is for everyone who, just like me, was stuck endlessly reading, only to end up fantasizing in their own heads. Just fucking do it! Regardless of the outcome, I know that if I had driven home tonight without saying a word, I would be kicking myself right now for not taking the shot.

I am 19 years old never gotten a girl or asked a girl before. I'm just scared and insecure about my looks, and I don't know why. Is it possible to go from never getting girls to getting girls?

I'm really depressed and lonely bc I feel that it might be over. I see fat people getting girls, people shorter than me. And I can't. I'm 23% bf, trying to get lean. Do you think the gym will help me get my confidence?

I truly need your advice, guys.

Back in January, I went on a coffee date with a woman I really liked. I thought it went well, but when I asked her out again, she politely declined, saying she enjoyed herself but didn't think a second date was right for her. I wished her well, and we haven't spoken since.

Here's the twist. At the time, I had a large neck mass that significantly distorted the shape of my face and jawline. Like an Apple sticking out the side of my neck. It was very noticeable. I didn't bring it up during the date because I thought antibiotics would clear it up, and I figured acting confident and not drawing attention to it was the best approach.

It turned out I needed major surgery to remove it. Nine months later, I've recovered, the mass is gone, I'm in better shape, and I look significantly different.

I have no idea whether my appearance contributed to her rejection, but I can't help wondering.

I'm considering reaching out, briefly mentioning the surgery, and asking if she'd be open to another coffee.

I know the odds are probably low, and I'm completely fine with another rejection. I'd just rather know than wonder.

Would reaching out once after nine months come across as creepy or desperate? And would you mention the surgery so she knows my appearance has changed, or leave it out entirely?

People on this sub told me that I exhibited some autistic traits, but a lot of them also overlap with simply being socially awkward due to a lack of experience. Most of these issues I'm fixing pretty quickly with practice (like eye contact for example, I used to avoid eye contact but I've learned not to, and I've also gotten a lot better at reading people). I have no problem determining if a girl is worth continuing to pursue or is completely not interested, and I can also understand vibes just fine.

I'm still not too good at showing intent or escalation, but I feel confident that I'll get the hang of it after some more trial and error. I still don't fully grasp romantic tension but I feel like I can grasp it if I experience it a bit. Like I was very oblivious to social cues not so long ago but it really wasn't too hard to pick those up. Are autistic people like this or am I just socially inexperienced?

So, I have been or getting told every now and then that I am good looking/ handsome by strangers even in night life women (good looking) will approach me now and then or give strong IOIs and I will make my move.

But I do lowkey feel that I am not getting as much action as I can I think like I do go on dates from dating apps or approaches maybe like 1-2/ month this month I got 4 but they won’t convert mostly.

What could be up and how to fix that ? Or is it a normal thing.

EDIT (What I am doing and what is going on for more context 👇🏽)

It’s not only the night game like I also feel I am not landing enough dates I am located in Ireland, from where I am there were like more people to go on dates with.

Night game : plan is have fun actually enjoy dancing and you will get IOIs women will come to you or else give you IOIs get it dance with them make your move. Sometimes they do give IOIs but flake , so yeah escalation is sometimes an issue. So we would be making out and all but not be going home.

Day Game : When I go out which I don’t a lot if I am going out 10 times I will be getting dates or contacts 6 times out of that or sometime the ones from night game. And as I do not go out much or at places where would be a lot women I use apps currently in Ireland, Dublin the apps are pretty slow here maybe the population density. If I go to a more populated country landing it left right and centre.

Dates are pretty chill but they do not escalate it quite a few are boring, I take a rain check of what they are looking for as I won’t mind something long-term if it comes my way.

(Now please guide me through these problems 👆🏽)

I’m specifically putting cold approaching here because when it’s more of a warm approach, I don’t have a problem because some rapport is built already.(Even then I get friendzoned because I’m terrible at showing interest/romantic/sexual intent). So I have no problem talking to women but when it comes to cold approaching, I can’t seem to ever do it. It’s sad but I’m 23 y/o with no romantic experience to speak of because of the things I just mentioned. I’ve even had people, outside of family, tell me that im decently good looking.(Maybe 7.5/10) Even thinking about dates and stuff has me a bit mortified because I feel like I’m kind of boring to talk to which would end up making them uninterested anyway. Though currently I’m working on showing more interest/genuine curiosity/and playfulness in my interactions.

So seriously, please share advice on this or how you personally got over the fear of approaching women.

If you could also advise me on how to show spark instead of always giving safety, that would be cool too.

I just want to meet women and build some experiences of my own instead of constantly hearing about other people’s experiences.

I'm going some time to Japan, to Tokyo.

How's dating there? Young Japanese (20-35) is probable that they speak decent English or not at all? I know some basic Japanese but not to have a conversation.

How about foreign girls? There are other asian women living in Japan? What about western girls? From Europe, America, Australia or even Middle East...

In what areas to go to do some daygame? and nightgame?

Or maybe a good opportunity is go to tourists that travel alone? I thought that a good rule could be: foreigner that I see alone in the street, foreigner that I will approach.

About apps, I heard that the best one is Bumble and then Tinder.

I used to be an extroverted child who always had many friends and in center of attention. After my parents divorce I became much more introverted and had been stuck at it.

Appearance wise I have no issue attracting women but absolutelly zero when it comes to game.

I would like to know how one can build his extroverted side

Me and this girl are both pretty inexperienced(virgins) and I’m not really sure how to go about things.

I was at her house the other night and we ended up just sitting on her twin sized bed together. She put her head on my shoulder, played with my hair and hands. Her parents weren't home because they were at work but she has siblings in the house and a grandpa living their. I didn’t make any moves because I wasn’t really sure what to do or if she was expecting anything to happen. She initiated all the physical touch which is something she never does, she's also a very closed off person from the outside. She's sent me pretty sexual reels on instagram so we are definitely on the same page somewhat.

We both still live with our parents too so privacy is kinda limited. How do you go from just hanging out to actually getting physical without making it awkward? Like going for a kiss, cuddling. My house is definitely off limits for women due to my parents and my car is tiny so I feel theirs not a ton of options to have a great first experience. I've known her a little over 2 years and we are great friends, the vibe right now is definitely different so I'm just going with the flow right now and not rushing anything. I do plan on moving into an apartment in a couple years for my Junior year of college, but that's a while away and I'm not 100% confident I will move out by then.

I feel like I overthink it too much and then end up doing nothing but she is also avoidant so I can't tell what she wants. Just wondering how you guys would handle it, especially if neither person really knows what they’re doing.

I think mystery, pickup alpha, playing with fire are pretty legit and fairly honest dating coaches.

I think most of the rsd coaches and especially Tyler are con artist. I think someone said Tyler got under 10 lays but posture as the master of game. That's pretty pathetic.

Even the homeless millennial in this video below got laid with 150 women per year in one of the toughest environments, NYC. https://youtu.be/bmav517MQJc?is=SHPflrtpaEQUi4Yq

I live downtown. Downside, I'm a little bit older (46). Upside, I'm interesting.

I used to do extremely well. Got into some long term relationships that took me out of the game for a while and now I'm rusty as fuck. I'm back at the gym and in shape. I get 5-10 matches/week online (pretty good at building profiles). I am sleeping with a new woman every month or two from that. Ready to go back downtown or wherever and increase quality and quantity. Let me know when you are available. I don't much care how good, or experienced you are. You can be super smooth, pulling them left and right, or a virgin. I can work with whatever. My only requirement is that we do not get drunk. It messes everything up. 1, maybe 2 drink limit when we go out.

I dont have alot of experience with cold approach
But the anxiety i feel before approaching is really heavy and i feel like ill be so nervous to approach
Does anyone have any tips for me that could help

Hi, so I am 24M student who js movied to NYC. I have been approaching for around 100 girls in the summer in North Carolina for around 100 girls and I have been texting but I never get to bed them. As I have arrived in NYC, I have been approaching at school, but I am also not getting any more than numbers and a few texts. I have had around a year of depression 3 years ago that is no longer here, but I have a lot insecurity that I am trying to work on, and immense amount of obession on women to the point that I feel like a lot of things I do are for women. Women is my final and ultimate goal, which probabaly stems from my insecurities from my childhood. After approaching and not getting them + my prev depression period, I feel like I have developed a sort of resentment towards women, but at the same time when I see a hot women here in nyc, my desire to fk them as well as resentment arises.Right now, when I wake up, I realize I'm in nyc, yet i can't pull no bitches makes me feel like shit, and I would use porn to numb it. I also realize I be saying some out of pocked stuff like the n,r,f word and lean more on the red-pill side. This might be the reason why I don't usually have female friends. I feel like the problem is that women can smell my contempt for them and my desire to js fk them. But people say that I can fairly talk to people and seem confident, and that I have a lot of passion/energy when I talk to people, but little did they know that part of it was from the high of just starting school at an ivy league. I still talk to people normally, and try to approach but I js can't get them to interact w me apart from a few messages, and the rejections feel like shit. Everything in my life is going good except women, but it has always been the jewel that I was searching for. I would say I am 5'8, farily attractive and have decent style. I am really open to advice on what I should do to fix my life/inner game. I am also open to coaching or a community of like minded people at nyc or books too that I could use for real life implementation.

I’ve had a girlfriend before but it’s been years and I’ve always been to much of a pussy to interact with any women with the intend to date until now. I’m 5”9 in height if anybody was curious.

I dont even know where to start like I work 50 hours a week during closing shifts so my time is limited and I don’t drink or have a wingman so I really don’t wanna do the bars or the clubs. I guess I could try the campuses but is it weird for a 32 year old to hit on 20 year olds? Anyways this is my journey I’m gonna take and I’ll update y’all if anything has happened or if y’all have advice for me then please tell.

https://realsocialdynamics.com/

It claims to offer the old rsd vault for $997

I went on Tinder a couple years ago and soon after saw a lot more women at the parks I go to and the grocery store. It may sound unlikely or conceited, but I’m sure some of them saw me on Tinder and wanted me to pick them up (at least in retrospect I it dawned on me). I was very ill prepared for all this. I really didn’t expect anything to come from going on tinder. I didn’t know what to say or how to go about things. If they did want a hook up, do I take them right home with me, exchange numbers for later, take them to get food first? I think I’m lacking some basic information about how these things go.

Despite being an introvert with social anxiety I did force myself to approach a number of women (around 30 women in person) to “shoot my shot.” But I would draw a blank as to what to say and just immediately asked for their number or if they were single. I received all no’s, except for one woman at a park who was able to carry the conversation and I got a number from. I did manage to make small talk for a minute or so with some of them, but still got no’s.

I think one of the main problems was that I ask too quickly without making conversation first, but I almost totally draw a blank. I mean what can I say? “You’re attractive and I want to have sex with you.” If I see a woman multiple times, then I can start to be more comfortable and talk, but this is almost never the case with the types that do hook ups. It seems like one chance, now or never.

Another stumbling block I have is doubt, or the feeling that it’s weird or inappropriate to just stop a random stranger and ask for sex. Even if this happens I don’t want to upset them or make them feel unsafe, but if they’re acting flirtatious maybe it’s OK?

I understand some conversation is often important so the woman can see that I’m safe. I also think there are certain types of women that don’t care about conversation. Do I just say “let’s go,” or “let’s do this?”

I’ve had women come up and stand next to me at the grocery store or be hanging around without shopping. I’m pretty sure they’re very promiscuous girls that want to be picked up (I know some are just shopping). I just need to know some tips on how these things go and what to say.

I don’t have friends my age that I’m current with for advice and work from home, so I’m not able to see the same women repeatedly and ask them out after time, so pick ups are my best option right now, despite how I struggle trying to do them. I applied for a volunteer position recently, so I might try to meet women. I’ve missed countless opportunities in the past with women and am in my 40’s so not much time left before I’m too old for most women to find attractive. Any tips or advice would be appreciated.

The book of p**k recommends never having just one girl in your life, always have either 0 or 2+. This helps you not put her on a pedestal and not view her as a wife (before she is one).

Dr Or**n T*****n in his book talks about the adorer (the chaser) and the adored (the chased). Both are fun for their own reasons. If you're the adored, you feel praise, attention, being wanted, it's easier. If you're the adorer, you feel lust, passion, and the adored is usually more attractive.

I've found that, when having at least two girls in the rotation, having one of them be an adorer and one of them being the adored can be very fun and fulfilling. What I'll do is find a girl slightly below my league, to the point that she thinks I'm a catch, and a girl slightly above my league, just high enough that I can get her, but doing so takes constant effort and planning.

I've found that by doing this, I can have the "best of both worlds", as it were. With the adorer, I can be myself, I can be comfy, I can have in home movie nights and have more of a bf gf relationship. With the adored, I can have exciting dates out, I'm mentally all over her, and every night of sex feels like an accomplishment.

Now, there are obvious drawbacks. With the adored, the relationship can start to fall apart once you become tired of having to constantly put in high effort into keeping her. With the adorer, she will often want to push things towards more exclusivity, and you'll either have to lie to her or break things off (don't do the former, don't be a douche). Funnily enough, I've found that both of these happen roughly around the same time, within a couple of weeks of each other. When that happens, I'll take some time to myself, spend more focus on self-improvement for a month or two, then get back into it.

I’m curious of other “niche” relationship dynamics that that you’ve come across in your journey.

Working 3 jobs while starting grad school is draining, and i'm admitedlg ai little rusty when it comes to dating. I've had a couple hookups earlier this year, but i just blocked out dating to grind my finances- everyday is the same work, gym, sleep and I'd like to have a dating life again..but man...How do you deal with the pedestalizing. Like your essentially giving them free validation for just existing, and boosting their ego. Any angle like "small talk" or direct approach just feels slimey, immature, and self serving. Even if you do approach, If they think your ugly, they'll scream or call the police, or worse record you. They'll give fake numbers or fake ig.

Approaching people at social gatherings or clubs is shitting where you eat. I don't care enough about approaching women to ruin the few places I have near me to relax and engage in my hobbies, and even if pressed most are already in relationships.

Dating apps seem to be the only way since I don't drink/smoke due to past substance abused issues. Not religious either. I've had success on apps, but in person is a nightmare

I'm not trying to find excuses, just genuinely that i jut feel that what is the point of expending effort to ester like a clown in a mating ritual like a disgusting animal just for the mere chance they give a number. I work 3 jobs and the way women talk about men in the breakroom is crazy, that i just don't see the point anymore.

I do want to approach irl but im a 5-6 at best and this is after years of work. The apps are tiring....

I did'nt come here to complain, its just that I feel like I lost that "spark". I've gotten sober off drugs/alcohol and spent the last year fighting my way out of homelessness and living in my car- but the issue is that i just feel like im no longer "fun" to date (at least this is what i've been told from people). Any advice

I recently started a job that requires me to travel for the majority of the year. 12 hour shifts, 7 days a week. I do get the occasional day off and I (23M) always know exactly how i want to spend it. I've never landed a ONS. I've only ever had luck getting laid through hinge a handful of times, and those were FWB's. Im not good on other apps, not even the kinky ones like feeld, and I've never had the bravatas to seduce women IRL. How do I go about landing one night stands?

I am naturally a very kind and nice person. Big white smile and naturally respectful and considerate of everyone’s feelings making sure everyone is included and thought about, but overtime I have gotten rejected by a lot of women who have initial interest simply because I was sweet and caring. For example I once danced with a group of older ladies in the club, doing my best to flirt and touch and chat about little stuff, even getting laughs from the whole group of them, but after about 3 minutes the one lady I was vibing with the most basically metaphorically pinched my cheeks lol and said “aw you’re a sweet heart I can just tell have a good night”.

it’s like I literally just have a sweet side that only the hopeless romantic woman or the insecure ones like. I also tease and everything else, I’m not afraid to escalate, but if I’m not sweet acting, I’m simply just not myself, but it seemingly kills lust attraction which is the most important tbh.

I’m liked a rescue a kitten sweetheart just in my everyday speech. agh help!

straight up, being a short guy is one of my reasons im so sweet. i haven’t been chased much or lusted over in my life for my physique, so I’ve developed sweet heart traits because the girls that I have pulled short and long term, have been with have mostly been innocent and inexperienced and much more willing to look past my height. They’re the hopeless romantic types and the ones who have good personalities, but they’re becoming increasingly rare as I get older (28m) because women grow out of that as they simply get more experience and attention from all the guys they do. but my personality is literally just sweet heart. I see other guys with the same personality make it work sometimes, but I never envy them I look at them like they’re soft because that’s how I see it in myself.

should I just stop being as kind even if it’s not my natural words? how can I change my personality but have it actually stick?