​I (18M) made some massive mistakes recently. Last month, I texted an online friend at 3 AM out of lust. I lied to her, saying my girlfriend and I broke up because of my hypersexuality and lack of self control, using that as an excuse, and then I asked her for nudes. She refused and blocked me. Feeling guilty, I vented to my best friend (well, former best friend now), about it, also complaining that my girlfriend and I argue almost daily about my sexual needs.

​A few days later, another girl on Snapchat (who my girlfriend didn't know about) sent me a revealing picture. I took a screenshot and showed my best friend. He made some questionable comments about the girl, and I agreed with him. Ultimately, my best friend betrayed my trust, sent the screenshots to my girlfriend, and told her everything.

I told her the truth I did not lie after getting caught, I complied with her on everything, like giving her my online friends number, my girlfriend wanted to tell my mom everything how I'm a bad son because while in a relationship I talked to another girl, she talked to my mother, I talked to her sister and apologized to everyone for what I did.

And now that I've seen that I lost her just because of my lust, I will never ever let lust take over my actions

How can I apologize to her for my mistake.

​

Hey everyone (23M), I need to get this off my chest because I honestly don't know how to process everything that happened.

I recently went through a breakup, and it has left me feeling completely broken.

I met a girl, let's call her Angelina. She is originally from Idukki, Kerala, and is now settled in Australia with her family.

When I first got to know her, she was incredibly sweet to me. She spoke to me so lovingly that I genuinely thought I was lucky to have someone like her in my life. We only met around four times, but my feelings for her were real. I fell deeply in love with her and trusted what she told me about herself.

She told me she was 22 years old. I believed her and trusted the details she shared about her life. She also told me about a guy around her age and assured me there was nothing to worry about. I trusted her because I thought we had something genuine.

I wasn't just playing around with her feelings. I was serious about our future.

I even convinced my parents to accept our relationship. They initially disagreed, but I kept trying because I genuinely believed in her and wanted them to understand how important she was to me. Eventually, after putting in so much effort, they agreed.

Imagine working so hard to get your family to accept the person you love, only for that person to leave you without you even understanding what went wrong.

Angelina broke up with me, saying that I wouldn't understand her and that I wasn't the person I used to be. I was hurt, but I tried to process it and understand her reasons.

Then, shortly after the breakup, she started seeing the same guy she had repeatedly told me not to worry about.

That alone hurt me badly, but what happened next broke me all over again.

One of her friends contacted me, and during our conversation, I learned that Angelina was apparently only 16, not 22 as she had told me. I was shocked. I couldn't understand how someone could lie about something so fundamental while I was taking the relationship seriously and even involving my parents.

I want to be clear that I learned this from her friend, and I haven't independently verified it. But hearing it was devastating.

Her friend confronted Angelina about the situation, and afterward, Angelina blocked me on Instagram. We were still connected on Snapchat, so I asked her friend whether Angelina had said anything bad about me. Her response left me feeling even more confused.

From what I understood, Angelina was presenting herself as the victim, while I somehow ended up being the problem.

I'm not saying I was a perfect boyfriend. I know every relationship has problems, and I'm willing to acknowledge my own mistakes. But it's incredibly painful to feel that you trusted someone completely, made sacrifices for the relationship, and then discovered things that made you question whether you ever truly knew them.

The hardest part is that my feelings were genuine. I remember how sweet she was when we talked, the conversations we had, and the future I imagined with her. Now, those memories are mixed with confusion, hurt, and questions I don't know how to answer.

I keep asking myself: Was the person I fell in love with really who I thought she was? Did I miss the signs? How can someone leave you feeling like you're the problem when you're still trying to understand what happened?

I put so much effort into this relationship, even convincing my parents to accept it. Now I'm left trying to move on while questioning my own judgment and ability to trust people.

I genuinely want to ask you guys something: How are we supposed to trust someone in this generation?

How do you move forward after an experience like this without becoming suspicious of everyone who comes into your life?

Have any of you experienced a relationship where you felt manipulated, only to be made out to be the villain afterward?

I don't want to hate anyone, and I don't want this experience to change me into someone who can never trust again. I just want to understand how to heal from something that has affected me this deeply.

I'd appreciate honest advice from people who have been through something similar.

Please read the whole post before giving your advice. I genuinely need some perspective on this situation.

I’m 22M, and I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for the past year. We both love each other and have been committed to this relationship.

For the last 4–5 days, I’ve been dealing with a lot of family tension and career-related stress. My mental state hasn’t been good, and I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by everything.

Today, my girlfriend asked me on WhatsApp why I had been so quiet and hadn’t talked to her since morning. I told her I needed some time and would talk to her later. She kept asking what happened, so I told her to leave me alone for a while because I was dealing with family problems.

She tried to show me sympathy, but I wasn’t in the righ state of mind to talk. Later, I deactivated my Instagram and told her I wouldn’t be using it for some time.

I don’t know what happened, but she reacted badly and asked me to block her everywhere. She also didn’t contact me for the next two days.

I was already struggling with my personal problems, and not hearing from her or even being asked about my situation for two days made me feel even worse.

Eventually, we started arguing, and in a moment of anger, I said something I deeply regret:

“You don’t respect me. I’ve spent so much on you, yet you don’t value me.”

After that, she blocked me everywhere, and now she isn’t talking to me at all.

Honestly, I know those words were wrong. I never wanted to make her feel like my love depends on how much money I spend on her. I said them out of frustration and anger, not because that’s how I genuinely feel about her.

I regret hurting her, but I also wish she could understand that I’ve been going through a really difficult time mentally because of my family and career problems.

**I don’t know what to do now. Should I give her space and wait, or is there something I can do to fix this?**

I genuinely love her, and I don’t want to lose this relationship over something I said in anger. I just wish I could explain what was going on in my head at that moment.

​

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. He has always loved and supported me, motivated me to build my future, and helped me with my career. However, our biggest problem has been my anger and emotional reactions over small things. He has told me many times that he has tried to help me change, but he's now frustrated and fed up because he feels nothing is changing.

He works in the oil field in Gujarat, and his job is extremely hectic and stressful. I realise I haven't always been understanding or given him the emotional support he needed either.

After our recent fight, he decided to end the relationship. We talked afterwards, and I begged him repeatedly to give me another chance. I told him that I had realised my mistakes and genuinely wanted to change, but he said he's frustrated, fed up, and doesn't think things will work out anymore. He has now blocked me everywhere.

I'm extremely emotional right now. I love him deeply, and it's difficult for me to accept that our relationship might really be over. Part of me still feels like he'll come back, but I don't know whether I'm just giving myself false hope.

I know I've made mistakes, and I genuinely want to work on myself. I want honest advice about where I've gone wrong, what I need to change, and whether this relationship could ever have been healthy if we'd both worked on our issues. I don't want people to blindly take my side; I want an honest perspective.

My boyfriend can get very angry and explosive during conflict. If I bring up something he did where I felt hurt he feels attacked and blows up and yells and says hurtful things. He stays mad for a long time and is perfectly fine going to bed without resolving anything which is extremely hard for me. He always says he’s too exhausted to fight anymore and just goes to bed. It always ends with me trying to make amends and apologize. It’s really frustrating because I feel like there’s no space for me to communicate simple issues without it turning into a huge fight. It’s not like this all the time but I feel like when he’s very stressed at work he gets in these defensive fighting moods and gets triggered very easily. Most of the time we have a great relationship and he is very kind and thoughtful and communicates well. Is it something we can work through in therapy together or should I just let it go? Is there some way I can communicate better so he’s not defensive and feeling attacked?

Last year, Mid October I met my current girlfriend on tinder (F 25). She has 2 kids with separate fathers which was weird for me as someone with no kids at first (M 24) but we really hit it off from the get go and have a great connection.

While we were talking last year, we’d hung out maybe 3-4 times prior over the course of 2 weeks and Halloween came. On Halloween night she asked me to come hang out with her at a bar. When I arrived she told me her ex boyfriend was there but that I didn’t have to worry about it.

She was hanging with me in a separate area of the bar from all of her friends (which id met and hung with with her at this point) and her ex.

Through the night she kept bouncing from hanging with me and the group in the other section of the bar. It got to a point where she’d disappear for 10-15 mins leaving me alone and then come back for 5ish minutes. We’d made out for the first time on one of the times we were hanging. After she’d gone for 20 minutes at one point I just went to where her friends and ex were hanging and she was having a meltdown of sorts. I decided to leave the bar and just go home because I was sick of being at the bar essentially alone. After that night she apologized for it and said she was drunk and going through some emotions.

We moved and started dating after that night. However 5 months into our relationship everyone kept on bringing up how much of an ass she was on that Halloween night, so I later asked her what happened. And she had admitted to sleeping with her ex that night.

We weren’t dating at the time, but we were seeing eachother and had made out for the first time that night. She also told me when I showed up to the bar that I didn’t have to worry about him. Since then I’ve been very emotionally volatile in the relationship over this situation and having to deal with dating someone with 2 kids on top of it. She blames her actions that night on being to drunk and getting taken advantage of, am I an asshole for being really upset and torn about it though?

She’s overall been a great partner and loyal since but I am trying to figure out if the emotional turmoil this puts me through to this day is grounds to just leave or try and wait out my emotions on this matter.

Please give some input!

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\*\*TL;DR;\*\* : My girlfriend slept with her ex on Halloween night last year. She had invited me out that night and told me not to worry about him. We weren’t dating at the time but had been seeing eachother for 2 weeks. I figured out 5 months after we started dating. It has caused me to be resentful and it’s hard to overcome this. Should I leave her?

Hi! First post after a long while. But I'm kinda struggling. Badly.

Things had been rough for a while. We met once on the whole month of September. We live afar, but not that far. And we fought a bit about some stuff.

But, yeah, October starts, and he decides to meet. The date was doing great. Until it wasn't. And he refers to one of his friends as his "second girlfriend".

I had never cared before about anyone's friend. Like, half of my friends are guys, and we both talked about it at the start of the relationship. That's not it. But that felt like a pretty low blow.

Especially, because a few weeks before that he spent a whole evening without talking to me because I was taking a coffee with a guy of my friend group (we didn't even meet 1 on 1, we were waiting for the rest of the friend group, we were just the first ones to arrive).

So... Yeah. Things got bad real quick.

I couldn't focus on the conversation that whole day. Like- I find it amazing how he gets bothered by me just having a coffee with a friend I had for YEARS, THAT HE KNOWS, without any romantic implication, meanwhile he says something like that without a filter. Without giving it a second thought. Isn't it some weird mismatch??

That was on Saturday. Next day, I told him how I felt and told him I needed some space. I was thinking about breaking up with him, to be honest. It hurt like hell.

Three days passed by, and I got the courage to open myself to him after asking for some distance. We ended up calling, and had a three hours long conversation, and a lot of apologies. Everything was respectful on both sides, and he even told me himself he wouldn't talk with her for a while.

I expected to feel way calmer. Oh boy, I was so wrong.

Next day, and I still feel antsy and insecure. Somewhat angry and frustrated. I'm struggling to go on with the relationship, and I feel kinda trapped by the situation. Feelings of inadequacy came back rampaging. It's not that I don't love him. But I don't feel safe anymore. And I don't want to condition his friendship with this girl, either. Which I know will end up happening inevitably now that he knows that I'm uncomfortable with her. I barely even know her. Nor do I want to inevitably compare myself to her, trying to win a fight I can't because I'm the judge.

The worst part is that this could trigger stuff I've been dealing with, which frustrates me and scares me a lot, as it is something I've been struggling for a long time and my therapist was gonna give me the green flag next time after a lot of hard work on myself.

I feel awful, even if he apologized. And it's also my first time experiencing something like this about a friend. I didn't even care about her before he said that.

Am I overreacting by thinking of breaking up? Would you leave, even if it wasn't because you don't want your partner anymore? Is there any way to fix this mess of a situation?

Hi all! I (36F) have been with my boyfriend (57M) for 2 years, and I feel heartbroken that I won’t to end things. He is very codependent and talks in terms of being together forever, spending the future together, but has never initiated a conversation about actually planning a future. We spend like every weekend together, and I don’t see him during the week. I squeeze friends in after work since I feel like a few days a week isn’t a lot of time to see him. I’m tired of us packing weekend bags and then just texting during the week, and I feel like 2 years is long enough to want to take that next step of moving in together.

I brought this up, and he was not excited.. he doesn’t want to live with my cat, is worried about not having space for me (he’s already lived there with his wife pre-divorce), and how living together changes things. Then he backtracked and said he does want to live together but not sure when.

Should I break up with him or try to stick it out for a while longer? I love him and I know he loves me too, just worried if it’s a good long term fit. He takes me out and treats me well, but I still have a lot of concerns.

Thanks for any advice!!

I’m not really looking for advice. I mostly need somewhere to vent and hear from people who might understand.

My girlfriend and I have been together for eight years, and I’m moving out on October 26. We had more than one issue, but one of the biggest sources of conflict and resentment was her daughter’s travel softball.

I worked hard all week to help provide for our family, and I struggled with the expectation that seemingly every weekend would revolve around traveling for tournaments. Between the money, the time, and being away from home, it felt like there was little room left for anything else. I could either go along or miss time with my family. I also felt like our younger daughter was constantly along for the ride, spending her weekends watching her older sister play.

I wasn’t against her playing sports. I wanted her to play locally, without the constant travel, expense, and intense parents. But sports are a huge deal in my girlfriend’s family, and travel ball was treated as something we absolutely had to do.

When I pushed back, I was told I was being selfish. From my perspective, wanting some weekends at home and a balance that considered everyone in the family didn’t seem unreasonable. But it became a constant source of bitterness between us, and I honestly believe it played a significant part in our relationship falling apart.

Has anyone else gone through something similar? Did travel sports put this kind of strain on your relationship, or am I just a selfish prick?

I will make this quick because I know many hate these really long text‘s.

So I‘ll be visiting Spain with my school for a week and since were all 18, have no curfew and have the most chill teachers ever. My boyfriend works so he doesn‘t go to my school so he will obv not attend. Anyway, he asked me if I‘m excited, and I said yes because I will definitely go out with my friends and party/drink. His Energy shifted immediately and he quickly talked about cheating and stuff like that. And the end he said, well but it‘s up to you/your choice if you cheat, I said yes obviously but if I get roofied or black out or whatever then it‘s obv not my choice anymore. But he said, yes it is. He said that if I can’t control myself and then end up getting raped, that‘s on me. Now I don’t know what to or think because I‘m a really big feminist and his opinion just isn‘t it. Disclaimer: he goes out to bars and clubbing without me too.

Why my partner is ready to let me go in specific moments only?

Situation 1:

So when my bf behaves like a jerk and I'm absolutely ready to leave them and move on in such a way that if I think about them later I'll probably just spit on them and give them curse words during such incidents he will always like always stay and apologize than let me go.

Situation 2:

If the incidents are somewhat like where he gets a bit of a room to prove that he's not that bad and he didn't make any mistake he's ready to let me go.

About me- I'm that person who always thinks of breakup when a little disrespect rises up or when I feel like my partner doesn't love me as much as I do.

And hence there are many instances where I tried to leave but he reacted differently in each.

Also

When situation 2 rises (which happened twice due to arguments) I've gone to him by the 3rd and 5th day thinking I should give it a chance and that the relationship can work out.

When I went back to him I always asked were gonna reach out to me if I hadn't? To which he said "yes, i would have once I would have cooled down" but I personally think he wouldn't have reached out and is just saying without meaning it.

Rn I'm on the 3rd breakup, and I'm not gonna go to him again, as i really wanna see if he's gonna reach out this time (situation 2) or else I will just accept that I never mattered to him the same way, ik it's a bit toxic but honestly it's more complicated than I could explain and hence I bring breakup as i really Start doubting the entire relationship once it makes me doubt my value in the relationship.

As per the given pattern lmk if you are a love guru and what do you think if he's gonna reach out or not?

So why is it that he's very specific about the breakup and letting me go as per the situation demands?

So im 30 and already have 1 kid from a prior relationship. My bf is 23. I was told after my 1st child I wouldn't be able to have another. Well I found out today that im pregnant. My bf doesnt want any kids atleast not rn......we have beem together a little over a year should I just break up w him and keep my child or should I atleast tell him even though I think he will tell me to abort it...

39M here. I've been struggling to understand my wife's (32F) decision-making about our bachelor/bachelorette expectations. I'm curious whether outsiders could offer valuable insights.

Months before our bachelor/bachelorette, she brought up that she didn't feel comfortable including women in my bachelor party under any circumstances because it gave her anxiety and might prevent her from enjoying her bachelorette. I had no problem respecting her wish, and I've been to my friend's bachelor party. We didn't really have women involved- just hung out at a bar like brothers' time. I talked to my brothers about hosting a huge Airbnb alone, no women, and ended up booking an Airbnb in the middle of nowhere.

She went ahead and had her bachelorette in Las Vegas. She wanted Magic Mike, and I shared that I felt she had expectations of me, and it wasn't fair if she didn't follow through. She called me dumb and insecure. Magic Mike is just a show- nothing else. She shared her experiences at Magic Mike, including touching and lap dances. However, she still stood and said it wouldn't happen this time.

Another thing: she said she didn't trust my friends, even after I told her I went to their bachelor parties and nothing happened. She said her friends wouldn't encourage her, but she still questioned my friends.

Right before bachelor/bachelorette, she mocked that she should have a better time because it's Las Vegas, then apologized and acknowledged that she pressured me to be isolated with my brothers and felt awful. She cried, and I reassured her that I'd have a blast with my brothers regardless.

At nighttime, she called me and said omg men were all over her. She felt dicks and laughed. She seemed to be having a blast time. I was like, eh, she set her expectations of me, but she didn't follow through. I thought maybe she was having a great time and didn't think to acknowledge it or apologize. After a couple of days, she didn't text or anything to apologize.

When I saw her again, she smirked and said several guys flirted with her. She rubbed a guy’s chest at Magic Mike. She had the video, and I asked to see it. Was she like, " Eh, you sure? I watched and saw she seemed to have fun rubbing a guy’s chest from the top down to below his hip while the guy was humping or doing a lap dance on her. Then another guy, or two guys, did the lap dance on her.

She saw my reaction. I was really confused and didn't understand her thought process. She reassured me she didn't plan it, but the guy grabbed her hands. She froze and went along. She wanted to be cool. Her friends told me that she laughed and said she rubbed the guy’s chest the day after the incident. They said she seemed to show no remorse and played along.

I reminded her that she questioned my friends when her friends encouraged her. She said she didn't see her friends encouraging her. I was like, but the video shows it. She protected and insisted that her friends didn't encourage her. A few weeks ago, she finally admitted that her friends encouraged her and had fun. She agreed that Magic Mike is the space where women could sexualized men. They had to go there and it's Vegas. She didn't know what else to do there without Magic Mike. They had to go there because it's bachelorette. I was like huh and she didn't want me to experience traditional bachelor?

We had been digging ourselves in deep hole and it affected our marriage. She apologized thousands times. We agreed to reset and let it go. We see counseling and work it together.

At time to time (nearly everyday) I'm still confused about her thought process and why she thought it was okay while she didn't want me to do this. It's so weird to me. Can you help me out?