Day 6 CT, from a rollercoaster of the last 5–almost 6 years of daily use. I did have only one quit around 3 years ago that lasted about 9-10 months. Otherwise, daily use.
I’m gonna be so for real, I think kratom was killing me. It landed me in the ER a couple weeks ago with tachycardia. The last couple months, when I hear they’d be banning 7oh, I decided to try it. My junkie logic was that I wouldn’t be able to get hooked since they’d be banning shortly. I used that and plain leaf together for about 2.5 months until I started having these heart related issues. I’d use it for about a week then have these severe tachycardia events with my heart rate between 130-150 just sitting still. My hands, ankles, feet, and face would all swell. It was terrifying. So I stopped messing with 7oh. But I think that those events must’ve made me more sensitive to just plain leaf. I could no longer take my regular daily dose (~45 gpd) without making my heart race. So I cut down to just maintenance doses of 18 gpd. Did that for a while, then stupidly tried a couple 7oh tabs I had left over. Well, that made me practically allergic to all kratom as best I can describe it. Literally any dose, even just a little bit of plain leaf, I’m talking like 6 g, would send my heart racing.
So, I just quit CT. I had literally 4 clonidine and hydroxizine as helpers. RLS was killing me. I have read mixed reviews re: hydroxizine exasperation of RLS. But in not sure if it was the acutes of WD or the med. Either way, I stopped taking it after night 2. I was getting about 2 hours of sleep the first 3 nights. Taking hot baths every couple hours. 4th night was better, which I attribute to starting black seed oil and a magnesium supplement—but still only about 5 hours sleep (which felt amazing).
Then yesterday, I got my hands on gabapentin—absolute game changer. I took 300 mg around 6:45 after dinner. I know they say it takes an hour plus to kick in, but I swear I felt it 15 min after taking it. Just a slight dizziness that subsided quickly. Otherwise, no effect EXCEPT the absolute disappearance of any RLS through the night. Almost 9 HOURS OF SLEEP. I feel like a new person. I am, of course, very aware of the risks of gabapentin, and I have a very limited supply. So I plan to take it only 2 more days and only at night.
To be completely honest, so far, this quit has been easier than the first. I was down bad the first go round which made me so fearful to try again. And before I knew it, 3 more years had passed on this shit. Also, the discussion around subsequent quits being harder and harder made me anxious. Maybe I’ve just been scared straight by the cardiac issues? But I feel less of the physical symptoms throughout the day.
I want everyone to know that this community has been incredibly helpful throughout both my quits. I can’t even express how helpful. Thank you. I wish you all the best, truly. I wish for everyone feeling hopeless or shameful right now to know that there is light at the end of this tunnel. The time to quit is now. I do believe that kratom can possibly have some therapeutic benefits, but I think that’s for people who can use it at therapeutic doses rather than seeking euphoric effects. I’m definitely in the latter group, and have struggled with practically every opioid out there—so I knew I was wired for OUD behavior.
Moving forward, I know that staying clean will be the hardest part. I’m not sure yet how to approach that considering that I live in a very remote area and resources are limited. But I do know that once I’m through the acute WD that I need to make a plan for staying well. If anyone has any resources they can recommend for someone living literally in the middle of nowhere, I’d gladly welcome any insight.
Thank you all so much. I’m rooting for each and every one of us. Love y’all.