My friend mentioned finding one of my partner's online hookup accounts, which would not be a violation to our agreements, but then when I asked him about it he lied about it repeatedly before I showed him receipts. We had a big convo about it and he reassures me he didnt think it was my business since he hasn't actually been hooking up with people, which according to our agreements is what he would need to tell me.

I'm trying to accept him saying that he hasn't hooked up with anyone. The repeated lie part is gnawing at me tho.

Am I guileless? He's had a hookup account (on a very busy local platform) for months secretly and just no luck? And then just lied repeatedly for no reason? If he lied about having it is he lying about the hookups?

We talked about repairing trust but how? I don't know how he can reasonably show/tell me that he isn't lying and I'm perseverating. Weigh in, I'm at a loss.

I'm 34m, seeing 43f. We matched on an app and have been on about 5-6 dates. She has an existing partner she loves, and I knew that from the start.

The chemistry has been great and we both want a relationship. I was clear early on that I wanted a primary partner and to build a life together: travel, hobbies, growing together, not just a sexual connection. She doesn't want primary/secondary labels. She's poly and has another loving relationship now. I don't think she will want exclusivity with me and it's wrong on my part too since I knew what I was signing up for initially.

She's expressed a lot of emotional investment, imagined me being part of her everyday life, and reassured me that I'm important to her. She's also shared that she experiences jealousy herself. So this isn't a situation where she seems indifferent and I'm the only one invested.

Where I'm struggling: hearing about her time with her other partner hit me much harder once we became emotionally close. I got restless, lost sleep and told her I wasn't sure I could handle this. Parts of that conversation left me feeling misunderstood, although she also acknowledged my feelings and gave substantial reassurance. We've agreed to pause talking for a bit and discuss things after an event we're both attending.

I've had monogamous relationships before. I think sexual openness could suit me, but I'm still unsure what I need around romantic or emotional exclusivity. I also realise wanting a primary partnership and wanting to be someone's only romantic partner are different things. I haven't worked out which matters most to me.

My first reaction was to step back. After calming down, I'm having second thoughts. I genuinely like her, but I also really want a relationship in my life, and I don't want fear of losing this connection to decide for me. Equally, I don't want one painful experience to decide everything either.

For people who've navigated this:

1. How did you distinguish jealousy you wanted to work through from a relationship structure you genuinely didn't want?
2. How did you work out whether you needed exclusivity, priority, reassurance, or some combination?
3. What practical expectations would you discuss before choosing to explore this further, especially when one person doesn't want primary/secondary labels?

I'm looking for help understanding my needs and having an honest conversation, rather than a vote on whether we should break up.

Strong connection with someone who has another loving partner. How do I distinguish jealousy from incompatibility?

I'm 34m, seeing 43f. We matched on an app and have been on about 5-6 dates. She has an existing partner she loves, and I knew that from the start.

The chemistry has been great and we both want a relationship. I was clear early on that I wanted a primary partner and to build a life together: travel, hobbies, growing together, not just a sexual connection. She doesn't want primary/secondary labels. She's poly and has another loving relationship now. I don't think she will want exclusivity with me and it's wrong on my part too since I knew what I was signing up for initially.

She's expressed a lot of emotional investment, imagined me being part of her everyday life, and reassured me that I'm important to her. She's also shared that she experiences jealousy herself. So this isn't a situation where she seems indifferent and I'm the only one invested.

Where I'm struggling: hearing about her time with her other partner hit me much harder once we became emotionally close. I got restless, lost sleep and told her I wasn't sure I could handle this. Parts of that conversation left me feeling misunderstood, although she also acknowledged my feelings and gave substantial reassurance. We've agreed to pause talking for a bit and discuss things after an event we're both attending.

I've had monogamous relationships before. I think sexual openness could suit me, but I'm still unsure what I need around romantic or emotional exclusivity. I also realise wanting a primary partnership and wanting to be someone's only romantic partner are different things. I haven't worked out which matters most to me.

My first reaction was to step back. After calming down, I'm having second thoughts. I genuinely like her, but I also really want a relationship in my life, and I don't want fear of losing this connection to decide for me. Equally, I don't want one painful experience to decide everything either.

For people who've navigated this:

1. How did you distinguish jealousy you wanted to work through from a relationship structure you genuinely didn't want?
2. How did you work out whether you needed exclusivity, priority, reassurance, or some combination?
3. What practical expectations would you discuss before choosing to explore this further, especially when one person doesn't want primary/secondary labels?

I'm looking for help understanding my needs and having an honest conversation, rather than a vote on whether we should break up.

Throwaway because I'm unsure if my partner uses reddit, though I am certain she'd connect the dots, I just really don't want to hurt her feelings if she ever uses my phone or peruses my main profile.

I started dating my partner a little over a year ago, She is poly, her girlfriend and I are not. She has been with her girlfriend for 7ish years, they live together, and are (supposedly) non-hierarchical. They are also in the states, I'm Canadian (we met online) so we don't get to see each other in person often.

Over the months, she has started spending less and less time with me in calls, we don't do the activities that we fell in love doing anymore, and it seems like the only time she seeks my attention now is when her girlfriend is away on a trip or otherwise occupied. She once wanted to send me groceries and sent something that her girlfriend likes and I'm not particularly fond of, which is fine but then the things started to pile up... If we're going to watch a movie it's always one of her girlfriends favourites. If she gives me a compliment, she immediately retracts it and rewords it so her girlfriend is included (ex. "I have such a beautiful partner. No, I have two beautiful partners!" when her girlfriend isn't even there). She talks about how much I'll love taking trips to her girlfriends family home. If I try to tell her about a new thing I'm into, she relates it to her girlfriend and tells me I should talk to her about it. She jokes about how confusing it'll be when we all live together because she calls us the same pet names. She told me that she never wanted to get married, but "feels different with me," and eventually told me that she and her girlfriend have discussed marriage but it's just not something that her girlfriend is into (killing any desire or excitement I had to maybe propose someday). When the topic of visiting the states came up, she expected me to sleep in her and her girlfriends bed, her girlfriend would take the couch. I told her I am absolutely not comfortable with that and would rather book a motel room. Her response is that she hopes someday I feel compersion.

I don't think she's doing it intentionally or with malice, and I've tried gently broaching the concept of keeping our relationships a little more separate, but every chance she gets she relates things to her girlfriend. It really doesn't feel non-hierarchical, she started exploring polyamory at some point into their relationship, and I feel like I'm just there for her to explore avenues that she otherwise couldn't. She has made it clear that she never wants to move to Canada (understandable), and wants me to move to the states, but I really don't want to move countries just to feel like an on-call girlfriend (especially considering I would be giving up quite a few conveniences that aren't available in the states). It really hurts because I do love her so so much, she is an amazing person, but I feel like she's unintentionally seeking a copy of or more time with her long-term girlfriend, who I couldn't be more different than if I tried.

So ya, just wanted to vent in case anyone has experienced this and can give me some guidance or advice on how to further approach it. We're in our 30s and lesbians since it wasn't clear above. Thanks for reading <3

I'm 34m, who's recently matched with 43f on Feeld who was in a poly relationship with someone. I was clear initially that I was looking for a primary partner for a relationship and to also explore the kink lifestyle together. We went on 5-6 dates and the chemistry has been off the charts. We have hooked up multiple times and feel very very passionately for each other and want to have a relationship. She doesn't want to give a primary or secondary tag to her partners. I'm very clear in my head of the kind of relationship I want, I want to build a life with the other person which includes traveling, hobbies, getting better every day, etc. It's not centred around kink but kink is a part of it.

I get incredibly jealous when she mentions her other partner or sees his 3 times a week. I have tried to sit with the feeling and also read enough to conclude that I can't get the better of it currently. It makes me think that we are not compatible and I can't handle poly relationship as a mono person? I also feel it's incredibly time consuming to talk about it each and every time. If you take the second partner out of the equation, I would be fairly okay with things. It's his presence, the fact that I'm not the only one in her life that's eating me from inside.

Do you think I should step away from the relationship? Both of us love each other a lot ( or so I believe)

Hi everyone! This is a long post, so apologies in advance! This is my first time posting here, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on a situation that has made me reflect on reciprocity, trust, and “spontaneity” in non-monogamous relationships.

My partner and I have been non-monogamous for several years. Until recently, I was the only one who had a long-term relationship outside of ours, which has now ended. His experiences have been limited to more casual encounters. He has recently started seeing someone he really likes, despite knowing I had reservations about this person and the timing, and that our relationship was going through a fragile period. This is particularly difficult because I’m also going through a very hard time in my personal and family life and have very little emotional energy left.

I want to be clear that I don’t want to use my suffering as emotional blackmail, nor do I believe my difficulties should prevent him from having other relationships. What I needed was time, reassurance, and a sense that we could navigate this together before moving forward. He went ahead with the first date while I was feeling really low and increasingly anxious. When I asked to slow things down, he worried I was imposing a veto or restricting his freedom. I experienced his determination to move forward without sufficiently considering my emotional state as a kind of betrayal.

We’ve faced a similar situation before, but with our roles reversed. When I had the long-term relationship I mentioned, my partner went through a prolonged period of insecurity and fear. Although our agreements allowed me to continue that relationship, I tried for a long time to make room for his feelings, reassure him, and find a way forward that acknowledged his vulnerability. I don’t know whether I did this as well as he needed, and it was exhausting at times. But I would do it again, because caring for him and making room for his vulnerabilities is something I genuinely want to do.

Now that I’m struggling, I find it hard not to perceive an imbalance. I don’t think my past efforts entitle me to identical treatment, and I don’t want our relationship to become a tally of sacrifices. But I wonder how much room there is for mutual care when one person’s needs conflict with the other’s desire to pursue a new connection. This isn’t about stopping an established relationship, but about a new connection that has barely begun.

Over the past few days, my partner has been more present, listened to me, and suggested concrete ways to care for our relationship. I’m trying to acknowledge these steps, even though I’m still afraid. One of my fears is that he has never felt this strongly about someone before, and I don’t want to pretend that doesn’t scare me.

Given how much I’m struggling and how fragile our relationship has become (a fragility that I believe is partly connected to how much emotional energy my previous relationship absorbed), I wish he felt a spontaneous desire to protect what we have. I hope the word “spontaneous” won’t provoke too much outrage here! I don’t want to reach a point where I’m visibly falling apart or explicitly asking him to slow down before he feels moved to care for our relationship.

I also struggle with being asked how I would like to be reassured. Of course, we can’t expect others to read our minds, and communicating our needs matters. But after so many years together, I would hope there could also be some complicity and attunement: that my partner could sometimes recognise how I’m feeling without leaving me with the entire emotional burden of explaining exactly what I need. Especially now, when I’m so overwhelmed that I can barely make sense of my own feelings.

I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have experienced similar dynamics. How do you distinguish a legitimate request for care from an attempt to restrict someone else’s freedom? And how have you navigated differences in your willingness to make room for each other’s insecurities?

Thank you to everyone who takes the time to respond. <3

Hi everyone,
My partner and I have been together for about a year and a half. A few weeks ago, we mutually decided to open up our relationship and explore non-monogamy.

Recently, I’ve started meeting a few people, although nothing physical has happened with anyone so far.
Since I’ve started taking those first steps, my partner has told me that the idea of me being with other people feels disgusting to her. She’s struggling with the thought that she might no longer be special to me if I develop connections with others, and she’s finding the reality of an open relationship much harder than she anticipated.
She’s now telling me that she doesn’t think she can cope with this and that we may have to break up if I want to continue exploring non-monogamy.

I’m struggling with this situation because opening the relationship was something we agreed to together. I love her and don’t want to hurt her, but I’m also trying to understand my own feelings and whether non-monogamy is something I genuinely want to pursue.

I understand that agreeing to an open relationship in theory can feel very different from experiencing it in practice. I don’t blame her for having difficult feelings, and I don’t expect her to simply get over her jealousy or insecurity. At the same time, I don’t know how to move forward when something we both agreed to is now causing so much distress.

Has anyone here been in a similar situation? Did you manage to work through these feelings together, or did you eventually realize you wanted different things?
How do you distinguish between the normal growing pains of opening a relationship and a fundamental incompatibility in what you want from a relationship?
I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences and any advice you might have.

Edit:

The struggeling partner in question here: Considering I have a history of and continue to struggle with ocd and obsessive tendencies in general the majority of the work I put in consisted of dealing with my mental health first to lay the groundwork for dealing with these difficult emotions so I don‘t spiral out of control at every little step along the way
Right now I‘m just not in a good head space mentally in general tho so the reality of everything is pushing me to the edge of my emotional capacity these last few weeks
I would not say that I am in general un-enthusiastic about opening up the relationship as I can definitely see the benefits, excitement and extra love it could bring into both of our lives
When I‘m emotionally regulated and am able to think about it rationally I can see that this lifestyle/relationship concept can be wonderful for everyone involved and I have also seen it work out with poly friends of ours
It is just proving very difficult for me to remember that when I‘m agitated and overwhelmed by jealousy etc
I feel stranded in those moments because I feel like I have no real coping mechanisms to deal with any of this and at the same time feel inadequate for not being able to deal with these emotions in a more easy going fashion
I am also scared that all these feelings and hardship are not just growing pains but also mean that I am simply not cut out for this

Hi, all! Please keep in mind that I am new to polyamory and be kind… I (47f) realized that I am bisexual over the course of my 20
Year marriage. I had just started to explore with women right before meeting my husband. My husband said he would be fine with us having threesomes to allow for me to continue to explore my bisexuality, but then quickly changed his mind after we got married. Fast forward to a few months ago, when he and I decided to open our marriage to allow me to explore that side of myself. I have my own therapist and we also got a couples counselor to help us to navigate. Both therapists are in ENM relationships themselves and have poly clients.

Anyway- we didn’t know what this was going to look like. Initially, we didn’t think we’d ever want love to enter the picture. But then, we realized that you can’t have sex with someone you don’t have a connection with and are coming around to realizing that you can love more than one person and not have that diminish our love for each other. We started this journey in June. Now- we are dating a woman together (which I’m now learning might be the hardest form of polyamory!?! 😳) she is truly an amazing human being. We weren’t expecting to, but we are all three falling in love with one another. We had our first threesome this weekend where my husband and her had sex- made love, really. And I was there and watching and felt good before, during, and after. That was big milestone for me, and I’m thrilled it went well for all.

The next biggest hurdle for me will be when we start to have solo sexy dates. So far, we have only had sexy time all together and solo dates have been dinner or a movie. I’ve been working on myself with my therapist about what I can do to emotionally regulate when they go on their first sexy date- likely a sleepover type situation. I have some planned strategies to implement. I told them both that-at least at first- I will need a big heads up and not a spur of the moment date, to give myself the greatest chance of success. Monday, however, we learned last minute that she had Monday off from work, so was available if either of us wanted to hang out. I had too much work to do, but my husband was flexible and could have met up. I realized Monday morning this could have been a potential sexy time date, checked in with myself and found I was not emotionally prepared, and asked them via text to please not make it a sex date since I wasn’t ready yet. My husband became upset saying that he worries I will keep moving the bar, and expressed frustration that I seem to be the one crafting how this is all going.
In my mind, I’ve come a long way in the 6 weeks we’ve been dating. And we had a great weekend with a big mental milestone that went wonderfully. I thought I was just expressing what I needed to set us up for success. I felt unsupported by my husband and hurt that he thinks I will keep moving the bar. Our girlfriend understood and was really supportive and validated my feelings. Said she doesn’t want to go solo sexy time until we have six thumbs up, and I SO so appreciate that from her. I told them I wish I was there emotionally and that I think I’ll be there soon- but spur of the moment doesn’t feel like a good way for me to start this off.
I happened to have therapy today with my therapist and also my first solo session with our couples counselor. It was so interesting that they had such different takes. My therapist said it’s all about consent, and that we should all be in agreement. She gave me communication techniques to take back to my husband so we can better trust each other. Our couples counselor said I should rip the bandaid off and start solo dating and it doesn’t matter if they are having sex or not. I need to just sit in my own discomfort and should have no say in their pace especially since that is unfair to our girlfriend. I hear that and understand that, and I don’t want her to feel second best or inferior. But I’m also struggling with feeling like we should all go ahead and disregard my bad feelings.

Anyway- any advice you guys have on how to start the solo dating would be much appreciated. Do you all want to hear the details about your partners dates? I don’t know if I do or not…. Or if there is a usual way of handling that. I don’t want to feel like competing against my husband, and I’m really nervous since I’m inexperienced with women. I know he will please her, and I worry I will feel inferior in that department… so that’s not helping with my anxiety. This is so backwards from how things have ever gone for me! I’ve never fallen in love with someone BeFORE having sex. I know it’s crazy to say I’m in love in such a short period of time, but the only other person I’ve told that love them was my husband three weeks after we met. I just feel like all three of our souls are connected and don’t know how to explain it. 🤷‍♀️ thanks, all!

I'm looking for some advice from other polyamorous people. Over the last year, I've realised that a lot of my memories from a previous poly relationship are surprisingly blurry. The last couple of years of that relationship, in particular, feel difficult to piece together, and I'm trying to better understand what was happening during that time.

 For privacy, I'll call my ex "Alex" and my former partner "Sam". Sam knew Alex and was around for a lot of what was happening in our relationship. Out of everyone from that period of my life, Sam probably has the most insight into Alex's behaviour and the dynamics that were going on. We haven't spoken much in the past year, but when we did communicate, it was civil. I'm considering reaching out to Sam to ask about his recollection of certain events, not to rekindle a friendship or reopen old drama, but because I'm trying to make sense of a period that feels very foggy to me.

 Part of me thinks he could provide useful context. Part of me worries that memories are subjective and that I could end up more confused than before. Has anyone else reached out to a former partner or someone from an old polyamorous relationship to help process a past relationship? Did it help, or did it make things more complicated?

 I'd especially appreciate hearing from people who realised, years later, that they had gaps in their memory surrounding a difficult relationship.

Edit: One reason I'm considering reaching out is that, despite everything that happened, my communications with Sam have remained civil whenever we've spoken since the relationship ended. I'm not looking for validation or to revisit old conflicts. I'm simply trying to understand a period of my life that feels unusually difficult to remember clearly

This is my first time ever really liking a guy😭 and also liking his gf at the same is crazy, especially when she likes me but doesn’t like it when her bf likes me back💀

Начну с того что я парень 20 лет и у меня с ней самые долгие отношения 3 года до этого были отношения на 1-2 месяца которые заканчивались по их воле было тяжело но всё же не много легче было их отпускать но тут 3 года так ещё и с ней был у меня первый опыт но спустя это время она мне предложила открытые отношения по причине того что она чувствует что не нагулялась это было для меня как удар под дых у я ей сказал что меня не устраивает такой формат отношений но она про довила своё решение и мы вошли в такой формат отношений она сказала что Вирт и полки ей нравятся и она этим занималась раньше перед тем как мы начали встречаться но после она отошла от того чтобы сканценьрироватся на наших отношениях и после этого времени она мне говорит что ей ролки и Вирт дают куда больше чувств ко мне но я не знал как это все проходит она мне расклад один опыт который она хотелабы повторить со мной она нашла себе человека для ролки Вирта незнаю как правильно называется если подскажите как правильно буду рад но всё же

Она попробовала с этим парнем с которым она вертит ролит во время этого управлять его игрушкой для мастурбации на растоянии и постанывать ему пока он рассказывает свой опыт

Небольшое уточнение у нас отношения на растоянии мы с ней видимся раз в месяц и тогда мы без остановки занимается интимом и она говорит что очень давальна этим но всё же в основном мы занимаемся этим по телефону

Простите за то что так все сумбурно имне просто тяжело до сих пор принять это все и мне плохо от всей этой ситуации

I just started dating a couple that's been together for 12 years. I initially started talking and met one of them, established a connection and then the idea of a closed triad was floated. We then met the three of us three times before we had the conversation and everyone seem on board to try and explore.

The issue is, with the first person I met everything is clear, but I have concerns and questions on how to approach my relationship or dating the second person. He doesn't like texting nor social media, he is autistic but very high functioning. When talking I suggested we could meet together just the two of us, just how I meet with the first person. He just said that he prefers to meet the three of us and I didn't even get to have his number etc and says that I can just talk to him through his partner. I understand that he is difficult socially and not used to new people or texting and can be quite anxious about these things. But I can't imagine being happy with the situation like this, it's also hard to talk about it because it's still very new and there is no real connection made between me and the second person, besides some kissing/hugging and sexual play the three of us. And his interest is mostly sexual now, while being open yo developing a romantic connection.

Do I just keep going like this and eventually talk about this issue in a few weeks from now? Or is it better to just communicate this need this early (less than a month into it). What would you do?

So after taking some advice from y'all. And talking with the wife, she brought up the idea of having a brother/husband. Where does this fall within poly?

Hi everyone, I wanted to share a brief update. At my son's recommendation, my wife and I ended up meeting the other guy in the relationship briefly before the larger formal dinner with his parents that is in two days.

I won't lie, my anxiety was through the roof beforehand, but meeting him completely changed my perspective. He seems like a genuinely very good and kind person. Seeing him interact and realizing he is just a human being who cares for my son and daughter-in-law completely deflated the monster I had built up in my head.

But with that relief I also have a massive wave of guilt. Looking back, I feel terrible about how I handled things initially. I shouldn't have reacted with so much harshness, and I shouldn't have hurt them as much as I did previously. I panicked because probably because I was uneducated and scared, but that doesn't excuse how much pain my initial judgment caused. I really should have just sat down and talked openly about it, at least with my son. I let my fear dictate my actions.

I am incredibly grateful that my son kept the door open for me despite my behavior.

Last night, while lying in bed with one of my partners, they told me they wanted to end our relationship, along with their other relationships, to pursue a monogamous relationship with someone they’ve recently met.

I honestly didn’t see this coming. Well I could sense the NRE they were experiencing but they were still connecting well with me.

When I first started dating them, I was new to poly and was very cautious about who I got involved with. I took my time and wanted to be really sure they were genuinely poly before I agreed to date them. We’d talked about their relationship history, and they’d told me about previous relationships that had ended because the other person wanted exclusivity. They’d made the decision to let those relationships go rather than give up being poly.

So I trusted that they understood what they wanted and that polyamory was something they genuinely wanted for themselves.

I was happy knowing they had other partners. I liked that we could each have different connections and relationships, and I genuinely enjoyed their company, our connection and their friendship.

And now, seemingly out of nowhere, they’ve decided they want monogamy with someone they’ve only recently met. They knew the knew the new person was not poly but still started dating them. She gave the ultimatum break up with them or be exclusive with her.

What’s making this particularly hard is how it happened. We’d spent the evening together, made love and were lying naked in bed when they told me. I’d had a couple of drinks, so I couldn’t even drive myself home. I was just lying there trying to process what they were telling me.

I’m not saying they should stay with me or give up something they want. Obviously, people can change their minds, and I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to be there.

But I feel blindsided. I was so careful about getting involved in the first place because I wanted to avoid exactly this kind of situation.

I think I’m still trying to work out how to feel. I’m hurt, shocked and sad, and I’m not even sure what I’m asking here.

Has anyone else experienced a partner deciding to leave polyamory for a new relationship? How did you process it? And how do you reconcile respecting someone’s right to change what they want with feeling hurt by the way it’s happened?

I think I just need some perspective from people who understand poly relationships.

Would love some outside perspectives because I’m genuinely trying to figure out whether my gut is telling me something useful or whether I’m just getting stuck in my head.

So I introduced being open to my gf . We agreed on a no romance ENM kinda agreement where we can have sex but no romance. In the beginning we were ok with having occasional one time flings, but Since it is very hard for a guy to get potential partners , and easy for the girl in that way , she agreed that I can keep a FWB kinda deal with my other girl so that I don’t have to invest so much effort into this all the time. I was happy that she understood my position. Yesterday she revealed that she wants to have sex with multiple partners and is already talking to 4 guys on dating apps and considering meeting 3 of them. Damn. that hit me hard. In all honesty, I have worked hard on my jealousy problem before about this, because we did try threesomes and foursomes before but I didn’t plan or expect that she would get so many options in just 2 days time. Also , she also casually told me that the guys are hot af , may be not so much on personality , but hot. Where as my other partner is not that good looking lol. And I am insecure about the fact that over the years , she would have a body count far more than mine and her experience would be choosing from the top end of the pool vs me choosing from the bottom end of the pool . As much as I want to embrace this lifestyle , this fact is bothering me a lot. I know she loves me and I love her and it’s purely sexual for us, how do I navigate this thought of imbalance in number of partners ??? We are open to setting up rules so could anyone share their experience with this , cause I am assuming this is pretty common in this arrangement .

So I’m in a relationship with a poly man, he’s always been open about his status and yet the longer I stay with him the more I feel he’s using me. I don’t get the emotional side from him because he’s got girls all over the world he talks to and has even told me straight up if any of these women visit I’d be basically kicked to the curb for them.
I love this man and have tried to give him everything, am I doing this relationship wrong?

My nesting partner has a girl friend now. For the last 8 months it’s only been us. They’ve been talking for about two weeks in a relationship for two days. I’m truly happy for my baby. I’m having not so much of a hard time when they spend time together. Last night they had the first sleepover and it wasn’t hard but I did miss him. I felt kinda disconnected when he came home. Is that normal? Is that something I created or? I’m new to poly so please have some nice words

So my wife and I have decided to enter the LS. After much discussion she has decided that she wants a boyfriend. I'm totally fine with this dynamic. However my wife has this kink I guess you can call it. They will go out socially alone, but she wants me to always be present during intimacy. Outside of threesomes we may have she wants me to be present. She gets extremely turned on by the idea of me sometimes watching and being involved, but most hearing her having sex with another man. Has anyone heard of poly couples having this dynamic? She said she fully expects to catch feelings for her boyfriend, but nothing will change with us and we can make this work. I fully agree but how does being present when they are intimate affect all of this?