I want to disclose first things first that this isn't a cry for help, nor is this a threat to myself. It's just a place where I need to vent and talk about my struggles as a big girl over the course of my life.

Im 21, 5'7", 310 lbs, female. I cant find clothes that fit me. I look for 3x-4x but even most 3x clothing is starting to not fit me anymore. My wardrobe is extremely basic with t-shirts and maybe 3 pairs of pants altogether. I try to find more, but either its low-quality, or better quality but costs 50$+ for a single article of clothing because I need to go to specialty plus-size stores to find things that fit. I don't feel beautiful. I can do my makeup all I want and try to wear necklaces and do my hair nicely, but it doesn't fix the fact that I don't have a nice wardrobe. I feel like I cant dress for my style. I'd refer to myself as alt in a style sense, I have black, medium length hair and a black septum piercing as well as a few tattoos, but all my "outfits" of just t-shirts and pants don't make me feel like I'm living up to what I could be.

I always see people talking about how it's so fun to customize your avatar (yourself) and I can't have that fun. I don't know if I'm just looking in the wrong places. I know the most obvious option for me right now is to lose weight. I know being this young and over 300 lbs is not healthy. Not to use it as an excuse, but I deal with pretty heavy depression and adhd, and it makes it difficult for me to gain motivation and retain motivation for a long enough period to make a substantial difference. Losing weight is years worth of a commitment, not to mention the upkeep afterwards to make sure I stay a healthy weight. I'm not saying that I need to be 120 lbs and a model, but I just wanna be smaller. I wanna be able to fit into a Large or an XL. I wanna be able to find bras that fit me because my cup size doesn't match my bust size. I wanna find shoes that I can fit into that aren't wide and ugly because they're made for fat feet.

I wanna feel pretty again. I wanna undo my past and fix everything that led me to this point of being so big. I wish i could just wake up and be the girl that my younger self always dreamed of. I wish I could walk out in public and not feel ashamed by every beautiful woman who looks at me.

And lower them to what-hell? I see many plus size baddies with hot men. Both plus size and slim men. I’m tired of this notion we need to lower our standards.

I was at my community college earlier today, just sitting in a study room that had a vending machine in it. 2 guys then walked in, I heard one of them tell the other “ they don’t have anymore of those pizzas” then as the guy who said that turned around and saw I had the last available one, he said in a lower but still still to where I could hear it tone while turning back away to his friend “ of course she had the last one look at her” While his friend was scanning his items. I then said “ excuse me don’t be mad at me they only had 1 left” he ignored me as they kept walking and his friend told him “ Cmon man” and told me “ Sorry Ma’am”. And I said “ you’re okay”. I was sitting there almost about to break down. Then like 20 minutes later the polite guy came back alone to the room told me “ Are you okay I am so sorry about that”. We basically had a conversation where he comforted me, and he also told me he doesn’t really talk to that guy much outside of school and that was the first time he ever seen him explode. We were talking about how crazy it was that he got that mad over a pizza lmao, and then we just started moving on to talking about other general stuff. We eventually swapped Instagrams and I know this is probably irrelevant but he was so fine y’all😭. It did end decently I guess but I am still in so much shock and embarrassment from that initial incident.

Hey y'all! It's time for me to go shoe shopping again, and I'm looking for recommendations on a good daily shoe that will hold up for longer than the rest. I often find my shoes to wear out fast due to my weight and gait.

Must haves:

Wide sizes or a wide toe box

Comfy

Fit for any occasion

Good for walking

Ideally less than $100

Thank you in advance for your suggestions!

i HATE IT when brands claim to be plus size friendly or at least offer sizes above a US L/XL, but the measurements aren't actually plus sized because the straight sizes run so small. I saw a brand's 5xl size and then found out it had 34 INCH WAIST. For 5XL. It isn't even just Asian sizing either, there's a US brand (not naming names) whose 3xl waist size was 36 inches. I wore 36 inch pants back when I was average sized. It really sucks, especially if you have a larger waist than chest because brands seem to only want to (sometimes) accommodate larger chests, but not waists. It's just sad knowing with the GLP-1 craze (that I can't afford) im not going to have any options left soon. Sweatpants and not leaving the house ever again are the way to go I guess 🥲👍

Any other girls around my age struggle with dating? I'm 21, and I honestly try my hardest not to think about dating, but for the past few months it’s been difficult when that’s all a friend of mine brings up. She knows I have no dating experience or, let alone, life and yet always brings it up and talks to me about her exes.

When I was younger I was sad about it, but it was a lot easier to ignore and focus on other things, but now at my age I feel so inexperienced… I’m usually not embarrassed about never dating, but my lack of experience, and I mean nothing, not even hand-holding, makes me feel so insecure. I’ve tried in ways that I’m comfortable with, like a dating app, for a while, but just about every guy I spoke with is nice for a while until they eventually ask for sex; it really ruins my confidence and makes me feel like that’s all I’m good for.

I guess I made this wanting to feel less alone, and maybe others have some stories or similar experiences. I know I shouldn’t let dating, let alone men, determine things like my confidence, but it really has made me feel like I’m just so undesirable when I don’t receive anything and yet the people around me have no trouble.

Hey :)

I want to ask a question about a more adult/cheeky topic, so I will try to be as vague and tactful as I can so I don't come across as explicit or inappropriate.

So I am not a virgin, but I am with someone who is worth making me feel like I am. I (a woman) am with a man who has both a very conventional/athetlic body and enjoys more plus-size figures. He has been very open about this. And he is far more experienced with being intimate with women like me than the guys I have been with before. It's not like they were bad, but often they felt a bit hesitant about engaging with my body or even acknowledging, positively, that parts of my plus-size body were attractive.

But this man does not shy away from touching or engaging with a part of me, or even saying things during intimacy that express that interest. Nothing is bad, I think, or fetishy, I think, but I have never been touched or engaged or had things expressed this way before. I can provide specifics if needed.

At times, it is very overwhelming. Or, maybe not overwhelming, just very different. It has made me sort, engage, or reconsider my body.

I don't want to deter him, as it seems to be very exciting and pleasurable for him, and I, too, am feeling similar satisfaction in new ways, but I don't know; at times, it's a lot, but it also seems normal to have a partner with this type of engagement. I don't want to come across as prudish cause I really am not. Very sex positive.

I am not sure if I am making any sense here, but has anyone felt similarly? Or had similar interactions?

Looking for an affordable knee brace that won't just slip off my leg. I've got pretty big thighs and have had problems finding things that accommodate them. I stand for my job all day and yesterday pushed myself a little too far and now my knee is really paying for it.

Any suggestions on what to look for?

I’m usually really crafty and consider myself a thrift god when it comes to plus size clothes but I’m struggling to get cute boho outfits together for my trip to Vietnam next month. So I want to know: where are y’all purchasing bold, dynamic vacation clothes in size 16+?

I’m seeking pieces that are both vibrant and light in fabric, preferably cotton or linen in a low-mid range budget. Maybe of vampy, tropical, and timeless too. Think Erykah Badu or Lisa Bonet. I’m seeking indie and earthy inspired skirts, cardigans/kimonos, culottes, kaftans, blouses, and dresses.

Anything helps truly! I just wanna get a little gay auntie fly (as modestly as possible) with my girls in Asia 🫰🏾

Edit: Forgot to grammar check! Oopsie.

Link to the previous post - https://www.reddit.com/r/PlusSize/s/NO6tA56Ne7

Update: the date was magical, we went to the movies, took cute pinterest-y pics together, he was courteous, affectionate, we even kissed 🫢, he went to a temple with me, he hand fed me the food. It was just magical, I'm usually a person who's very physically reserved, but we were holding hands the entire time, I was so comfortable just cuddling up to him in the movies, it was beautiful. He absolutely adored me, was so affectionate, literally couldn't keep his hands away from me at any moment. Like we were glued by the hips for 2 days

And then.....

He asked if he can borrow some money from me the next day, he's 24 I'm 28, he doesn't earn yet but this just doesn't sit right with me, I refused gently he accepted the answer but he always talks about how his parents don't really support him much apart from the most basic necessities.

He's currently in the University to join the merchant navy, I'm a person who values financially stable guys for a sense of security and not because I want to splurge the money.

Being an elder daughter I have a strict boundary and standard about how I want a partner, I'm not lending any money to a guy I've known for around a month.

I was okay with paying for the day cuz I genuinely wanted to spend time with him but lending money? It's a whole different thing. He accepted the answer gracefully I even told him this was an inappropriate ask (politely), but I'm just not sure what to think of this anymore. I'm not very financially well off myself I live alone and have to manage my own finances and can't really rely on my parents in that manner.

I like him, genuinely, and after I denied the money request we're talking normally again, it's gonna be long distance as we live in different states, I just don't know what to think anymore. I'm not gonna cut him off immediately but this is definitely strike one.

It seems I'm late to the party on this one but yeah, used to buy lots of clothes at Torrid but lately everything is getting more cheaply made, more polyester, and not nearly hard-wearing enough. Where can a big girl shop for reasonably-priced clothing that isn't 100% polyester or going to fall apart after 1 wash? I tend to be a size 2 in Torrid tops and dresses, 3 in pants and skirts.

I’m considering getting a second job, and I’m thinking something in the retail space would be ideal because I can work weekends and evenings around my full-time work.

My concern is that I am not the most physically fit and I’m worried that if I’m working a job that requires me to be on my feet for hours at a time, I won’t be able to keep up as expected.

I can walk around and stand around fine for a couple hours but I think if it’s more active I wouldn’t be able to keep up.

Does anyone have any advice of jobs I should consider or definitely stay away from considering my situation? I would also consider outside of retail if it pays well enough.

But as the season changes, and my closets do too, I'm realizing I have a lot of clothes I would like to get rid. Decent clothes, in great condition, but from my last career, or just stuff I haven't worn in a while. But I am out of the loop and I have no idea where to list them.

Where do 2xish women in their 40s and 50s in the US go looking for used clothes online?

If you buy your clothes used and online, where do you shop? If you sell your clothes online, where do you sell? Which sites should be avoided as too much hassle or too little profit, which are the best?

(I haven't bought online in a while. My instincts lean toward ThredUp and FB Marketplace... which I know aren't exactly current...)

Where are you all shopping for fall clothes this year? Fall is my fave season and I just went through my closet and listed items I haven’t touched in years on vinted, and I’m desperate for a good new fall style! Are there any stores you recommend? I’ve thrifted a few sweaters, but I really need pants that aren’t leggings for work and just some staples like long sleeve tees. 😭😭

Hello, I'm sure this has been asked. I am flying home for Christmas and my parents are paying as a Christmas gift, so I'm flying American Airlines. I've never flown them in my entire life. I'll be sitting in premium comfort, I am 5 foot 4, around 325 to 330 pounds, will I need a second seat? Will I fit? I'm honestly so nervous. I hate flying.

Something about this math ain't mathin, boss. What do you mean my total has increased by going down?

Hey baddies,
I’m new to the subreddit but not new to being thick! I found a pair of pants today at Aerie called The Hugger Piping Wide Leg Pant. I can’t post the pic because I’m new but pls help me!!
I’ve been looking for pants/leggings like this my entire life: very high-waisted, tight down the butt, wide leg starting at the bottom of my butt cheek. Cameltoe is manageable.
With my waist to hips to thigh ratio, I have never in my life found a pair of pants that make me feel this good and they’re COMFORTABLE!
I’ve tried literally every single brand of jeans (although these are leggings) and every single pair that I’ve found with the same build, give me CRAZY STYLE cameltoe because of the quality, since they’re jeggings 😭
What other pants are built like this? 🙏

Hi, my wife made me join this Reddit after a particularly demoralizing turn of events, but id like to start from the beginning.

Ive always been big since I was young and it never really bothered me. I remember being something like 250 after I left High School.

A lot of things have happened since then but notably I gained weight. Like a lot of weight. A lot of that was from binge eating and of course not working out or really moving at all. I went from 250 to 447(as of my most recent check up) I never really went anywhere because I had nowhere that drew me to the outdoors. My hobby was video games and the only friends I had were online. That coupled with my love of snacking and my terrible habit of not eating all day except one big meal made it easy to gain weight.

In all that time I hardly noticed the change, just a increase of number on my shirts and shorts.

But then I met a lovely girl online that eventually became my wife. She likes video games too, but personality wise shes my total opposite. Me and Introvert, her an Extrovert. Me a Pessimist, her an Optimist. It was like I found my sunlight that pulled me to the outdoors. But that was around when i was 24. I knew from our first date I was out of shape. I had to sit a lot and take a break and as much as I tought ahed leave me, she never did she chose to wait for me.

The relationship progressed between us and finally I wantes to lose weight. I was breaking beds (in the bad way) and was unable to keep up with her demands of going to places. I always wanted to do things like camping, but never did. And now I had someone that wants to drag me out to do it, im too worn out to do so. Ive asked her several times to leave me, but shes been adamant about loving me for the last 10 years. I felt bad everytime we went out somewhere, because they needed to have seating or be a small enough location to go so it would be quick.

Throughout all of this I tried multiple things to get active and lose weight. First was playing Ringfit for the Switch. But the other controller strapped to my leg would always slide off, so I stopped. Then I wanted to go for walks, but the distance was short compared to what I wanted to achieve plus I didnt feel motivated without a destination and didnt want to be seen by others and judged. Then I looked into a treadmill. My friend offered to get me an exercise bike or treadmill. I figured the treadmill was easier. So it arrived and I started using it. Its a little small, but it handles my weight, but i never really felt motivated to use it. It was tough to get into a habit of using it because I much rather do other things than getting hot and sweaty and out of breath, which only reminds me how out of shape I am. So my progressed slowed until it stopped. I hated myself for stopping, but i felt so unmotivated that it just gathered dust.

Finally within the last year, something clicked. I watched a TV show and somehow I wanted that to be me. This character made me want to improve. So I began every night somehow without my wifes notice doing a small exercise regimen. It was tough, but I was finally motivated.

Then my back pain caused me to stop. I thought fine I'll rest up and get back to it. Then the back pain didnt stop. In fact it spread, to my hips and thigh. I rested more, but then finally saw a doctor. I had given myself Sciatica. It was a common thing to happen when pushing yourself too hard, but it should go away in two weeks. So then I rested and waited... two weeks. A month. 2 months. It hadnt gone away. Just got worse. I was perscribed Ibuprofen in the largest dose possible and told to wait it out. Months went by and it didnt go away. Then my Wife and I moved. An apartment in the city on the second floor near her work and family. It was such an upgrade! But the process of moving agrivated my sciatica. A lot of things I should be abled to do or wanted to do fell on My Wife and I hated it more than anything, but what could I do?

The moved caused us to toss our bed frame which i had bent and we didnt have a couch or anything. So for the first months we sat and slept on the floor. Simply getting up had me gasping and whimpering because the pain was so much. Everyday was excruciating. I could hardly wipe myself because the pain was so great.

Finally we got a couch, but that broke immediately under me, in spite of the weight limit. And then we got a new frame. Things that seemed like luxuries were necessities for me. So finally I began to improve and got a new doctor who refered me to specialists who then gave me new meds and referred me to a Physical Therapist. However between then and now I needed to get an MRI. I had had an x ray of my hips and found nothing unusual.

Its the MRI that caused me distress. I had given them things like my height and weight and it all seemed fine, but the day before I got a call to verify my height and weight. I told them and suddenly they canceled on me citing I was too heavy for the machine.

I was so demoralized that I pretty much stopped. My wife insisted there were other places but I felt like it wouldnt matter, the story would be the same.

I already have to limit my destinations to places that have carts, now I couldnt even figure out was exactly was wrong with me because of my weight.

Then my Wife looked up the same problem and found a lovely woman who had the same experience here. So My wife signed me up for the Reddit and its helpful to know others deal with similar things to me.

Even so I feel like an Outcast in this community as well because my brain tells me im not plus sized im plus plus sized. Queen sized.

Anyways, sorry, I just wanted to share my story because maybe it will help someone else because I'm worse and bigger than them or something.

Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Canadians.

shirt just has some no's in my book like no racism.

Does anyone have any ideas for a plus size costume for someone with purple hair? I’m fine with playing a character that is usually thin and I’m willing to do a bit of diy- although I’m not great at it. I was thinking about elissabat from monster high but I’m not so sure I can make that costume look good. Same for raven from teen titans. I’m out of ideas!!

I’m SOOO tired of wearing plastic lululemon pants that pill, fade, collect lint and pet hair, give me camel toe, and inevitably wear a hole in the inner thigh area.

I’m finally putting my foot down and moving to greener pastures. I’m imagining some sort of natural fiber, looser fit pant that I can wear to hot yoga, or weight training.

Thanks in advance!