r/PlusSize • u/hoshimakesmesmile • 23d ago
Discussion Am I catfishing?
So.... I'm talking to a guy from a dating site, I'm excited to meet him next month cuz he's visiting his parents. And yes I dress very conservatively so please don't judge my dressing style
I just wanted to ask does it seem that I have a big belly from this picture? I don't want him to be disappointed when we meet cuz he has been incredibly open about adoring my tummy, wanting to cuddle and touch my belly, or just hold my waist in general.
There are other things ofcourse I'm just focusing on the waist thing
So I guess my question is, does it seem like I don't have a stomach? Or will it seem that I was not open about my body.
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u/Kathrynlena 23d ago
You look very cute in this photo. I really like your outfit. But I also think it very accurately represents what your body looks like. It’s well lit. Your shape is visible through your clothes, and the angle you’re standing at. Wearing cute, flattering clothes is not misleading. If he’s seen this photo, he cannot possibly feel misled, unless this photo is like 10 years old.
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u/hoshimakesmesmile 23d ago
Yeah it's a picture from like 5 days ago.... Thanks for putting it that way makes me feel at ease
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u/Effective-Warning178 23d ago
Someone too dense to see our bodies in the pictures we post does not mean we're catfishing!
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u/lexx-ray 23d ago
I used to have this feeling all the time, the conversations that went "you know I'm big right?", the self doubt that they won't like my body irl, etc etc.
The one of my friends said to me (in a kind way) "you're fat, clothes don't change that, everyone can see exactly what you look like" and honestly, it really helped me. I don't second guess myself anymore when I match with someone....they have eyes, I'm not fooling anyone 😂
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u/Successful-Dog-8355 23d ago
you look wonderful! just be cautious please. the repeated compliments on your belly and wanting to touch you in that area scream belly fetish (i dated a guy who just wanted to be with me because of my belly).
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u/hoshimakesmesmile 23d ago
Because of the last guy, I'm 110% more caustious, please dw he's expressed affection in other ways this was just what stuck in my head cuz of my own insecurities. But yes I'll definitely keep the fetish thing in mind
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u/Successful-Dog-8355 23d ago
okay girly!!! just want you to be loved by YOU and not their fetish. good luck on your date!!! 🤍🤍
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u/dstarpro 23d ago
You are not catfishing, but he seems concernedly to be fetishizing you.
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u/Vicster1972 21d ago
Yes!!! I have never found a man that I have had a conversation like this with to not be creepy, and trust me I have dated my fair share!
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u/hoshimakesmesmile 23d ago
Thanks for the concern boo, he has expressed affection in many different ways this one just is on my mind cuz I'm particularly insecure about my tummy.. 🩷
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u/mowglimg 23d ago
Absolutely not "catfishing", it's a perfectly normal full body pic.
If you meet him and one part of your body is a dealbreaker, it's not meant to be and you're better off. But from experience, if he's comfortable enough talking about cuddling your tummy, you should trust his affections are true.
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u/NeroliNinja 23d ago
The catfishing being he thinks you are bigger? Sorry I am a bit confused
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u/hoshimakesmesmile 23d ago
No like, is it apparent in the picture I have a big belly? Sorry idk if I'm wording it right
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u/NeroliNinja 23d ago
I mean the baggy clothes make it hard to tell, not sure if that is exactly what you are going for? From the picture I’d say your belly looks proportionate for your figure. If you want to highlight it more, a belt would do wonders. But I am still confused what exactly you are going for, if you want to clarify maybe we can help more with outfit suggestions.
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u/hoshimakesmesmile 23d ago
I've started to accept my body, thankfully, I'm still working on it, sometimes I just think he'll see me and think, oh she's bigger than what her pictures suggest
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u/NeroliNinja 23d ago
It’s always scary to be vulnerable and with IRL meetings there is a big amount of that.
That said you are beautiful no matter what your size and if he can’t see that then good riddance.
My two cents, if you want them, are that baggy clothes can make us feel more comfortable but also make us look frumpier to others. You don’t have to show skin or wear something you are uncomfortable in but a belt or a maxi dress slightly cinched at the waist can do wonders.1
u/hoshimakesmesmile 23d ago
I see, yeah I think you're right about baggy clothes, time for some pre-date shopping 🩷
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u/hooked_siren 23d ago
If he thinks that he's an idiot who didn't actually look at your pictures which is his bad. Or he's deliberately being mean which is also his bad. I only bring it up because both happened to me online dating.
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u/hoshimakesmesmile 23d ago
I just hope this goes well, cuz the last guy I was with fucked up my perception of relationships altogether
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u/hooked_siren 23d ago
Just remember dating is for you to determine if you like them not the other way
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u/Wonderful_Seaweed133 23d ago
I take this as you being transparent. I’m a big girl myself and I always make it very known from the very beginning because I don’t ever want someone to think I was hiding who I am. I believe that’s what you’re doing. I think that as bigger women we have this tendency to be really afraid that someone is going to like us in photos but be really turned off by us when they finally see us in person even though we have been fully transparent. My boyfriend is probably the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life and I was petrified he would be turned off by me when we met in person. It was the opposite! Lean into it and let yourself have an amazing time!! You have nothing to be ashamed of and deserve the connection!!
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u/Fluffy-Ad6627 20d ago
You're fine, girl. However, as a bigger girl, I had to stop with the dating apps. I've now been in a relationship that I consider my forever person. Prior though, Id meet guys online and had friends dating, too. As a bigger woman, I wasn't treated as "higher value". Basically men thought they were going to be able to use me for s3x. When they realized that wasn't going to happen, they would ghost me or sometimes just be super rude. Precautionary tale, just be hella picky with those stupid boys.
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u/hoshimakesmesmile 20d ago
Yeah unfortunately I understand what you mean, I've made it clear with this guy sex is not currently on the table, and that I'm taking it very slow
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u/plotthick 23d ago
You look normal in that picture, honestly like someone I'd like to be friends with. If he says he has a problem with "catfishing" then he can go play with his red flags alone.
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u/hoshimakesmesmile 23d ago
Aww thanks... He's incredibly sweet, I guess I'm just overthinking
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u/plotthick 23d ago
Overthinking can be dealt with. Crochet something, clean something, do some boxing, fold some clothes, walk a dog, listen to a podcast, anything but doubting the wonderful you!
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u/PrudentBed6240 23d ago
This is wonderful advice. I'm also a chronic overthinker and I honestly never thought of cleaning or chores as a way to break out of it. Tysm 🫶🏻
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u/doseofdena 23d ago
I mean I’d be more concerned about all this emphasis on your belly. Sounds like he has some sort of fetish which is a 🚩.
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u/biogirl52 23d ago
You look plus size, cute, causal, proportionate. You’re worried he will think you are bigger or smaller than you actually are?
I think we have a similar body type, sometimes I can disguise my lower stomach and other times it’s out there
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u/hoshimakesmesmile 23d ago
Yeah I think he'll see and think I'm bigger than what my pictures suggest, and I'm just 5ft tall ... So I look even more round 😭
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u/biogirl52 23d ago
It’s really hard to show in a single photo what our round bodies look like in 2D. However I know this feeling very well. I have some spectacular posted photos where I look curvy straight sized, but I definitely have a low hanging belly and rides up to greet me when I sit and move around.
The more photos you can send ahead of meeting, the better you’ll feel. I used to send my long distance dude fill videos of me “modeling” an outfit. You just gotta do what you can sometimes.
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u/hoshimakesmesmile 23d ago
Aaah that is a good idea, we do get on video calls so maybe then? Thanks
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u/Outlandishness_Know 23d ago edited 23d ago
I think you are NOT catfishing. You are showing your body in the style of clothing you are comfortable in.
You CAN do a photo in more form fitting clothes to show your body and belly. I did recently. Just so men are clear. And can choose whether that works for them or not before moving forward. I wanted ZERO misunderstanding.
But your comfort level is yours. Do what works for you. Not someone else.
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u/Cinnamon79 17d ago
I think it's clear how your body is built, and it also sounds like he's one of those guys who truly does appreciate a belly. I have met several men who really honestly love it. My advice to you is just to enjoy the hell out of it because he's probably sincerely attracted to you and your belly.
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u/imperial_scum 22d ago
From one big girl to another big girl, don't fixate on that shit. If this is the pic he saw, you're not catfishing at all. Focus more on having FUN. I say this as someone who used to fixate on all the wrong shit. Even after I lost a bunch of weight (gained a chunk back too) I was hot af but too fucked up about the wrong things, gave up. It can be a perpetual cycle.
Learn to love yourself so that you know how to love others is my advice.
HAVE FUN
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u/Forward-Monk8150 22d ago
Wear a brightly colored dress with a v-neck that accentuates your waistline. It can be conservative. Men like confident women regardless of size.
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u/hoshimakesmesmile 22d ago
Ohh okay, I do have a cute top, I was confused between red and navy blue, I think I'll go with red based on your comment ❤️
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u/Monica2796 22d ago
Side note I love seeing photos like this. My first thought was, "omg she looks so cute I like her outfit" before realizing we have the same body type. Makes the challenging battle of loving my body a smidgen easier, thank you internet stranger <3
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u/cedriclongsox71 21d ago
I see curves not a catfish, size is relative to people's perspective, yes you have a belly but the picture I see your proportions are good, not too big, curvey and cute,
but bottom line is if this guy likes you it won't matter , to him you wil be beautiful
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u/Livingdedgorl 23d ago
You can ask him directly if he likes round ones and if he says yes, send him one of just that area
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u/rusnerd 23d ago
You are not. And it does look like you have a belly. If he doesn’t see this, refer him to optometrist.