my family thinks I’m crazy, but i genuinely still feel depressed and horrible thinking back to one of my cats that passed in 2023, the one time I let him out in the sun for a few minutes and left for a moment and yeh neighbours dog jumped over the fence and got him, it hurts more because I feel as I caused it, even though it was summer and he was gone in under 10 minutes.

I miss him, he was bonded with his brother who is still with me, I feel bad for my other cat who was bonded and I just feel horrible overall, I’ve had so many dreams of this cat the last week, I miss him :(.

I also have a horrible dread for when my other 2 cats go too.. I try treat and play with them as much as I can with our time together but it never feels like enough. I don’t know what I’ll do when they’re gone

I’m so sad right now. My sweet male cat had started struggling to use the litterbox and had a blockage. I took him to the vet to get checked out and he had the blockage removed and was prescribed amoxicillin.

I thought he was on the mend and going to recover but later that day he was blocked up again and passed away suddenly during the night. He wasn’t crying out in pain or yowling or any obvious signs of distress. He was drinking water and eating so his death caught me so off guard and shocked me. He was only 3 years old and I’d had him since he was a kitten.

This is awful. I hate this. Rest in peace little guy

life just feels so empty now. dull. i feel like those around me just don't understand or care about the fact that i lost my entire world in a matter of a few hours.

i have nightmares every single night since his passing. even before then, when i noticed he was getting weaker. sicker. i am exhausted. sleep deprived. depressed. alone.

a lyric i keep coming back to:

"you're just thinking it's a small thing that happened

the world ended when it happened to me"

i am struggling to get myself to work. to feed myself actual meals and not just eat tortilla chips and oreos. even to brush my teeth. i know he would want me to be happy. but how can i be? my happiness is gone, it left the exact moment his body went limp.

I lost my dog a couple weeks ago that I had for 15 years. I was an in-state student for university so I was able to come home and visit my dog all of the time! Now it is super hard for me to come home and visit because my home doesn’t feel like my home with my dog not there. Has anyone else in university had this same experience when going home?

My cat experienced over 8 long hours of extreme pain before his death and I’ve never felt guiltier.
He died of “saddle thrombus (fetal aortic thromboembolism)” which is basically a blood clot that stops blood flow and kills him and it says this is excruciatingly painful.
But I was so stupid I didn’t research what it was until after he died.
Why? I don’t know.
I live far away and I wanted my parents to wait til I arrive the next day to put him down so that I could be there, not knowing he wouldn’t make it and if I had googled it I would have known.
I will never forgive myself for this.

I made a throwaway account to vent because i dont have anyone in my real life to talk to. I don’t want to burden them further.
I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder when I was 13 years old, and since then ive managed but its been nothing close to easy. I left an abusive household with my cat when I was 15. years later ive just been working to support me and my cat, living with my narcissistic mother and paying for my keep. its exhausting, and recent events dare i say have made it 10x harder just to live day-to-day.

my cat who ive been taking care of since i was 4 is getting close to passing. its to the point i have to make a decision and appointment to put her down. my beautiful sweet cat has been the main thing keeping me tethered to this world.
It feels as if my whole world is crumbling. im spending as much time as i can with her, making the appointment and giving her my all. along with continuing to work and search for another job to pay for her euthanasia and cremation. (selfish, i know.)
i dont want her to suffer. she is an amazing cat, always there for me, helped me quit sh and smoking, been here when i got out of hospital, and always ALWAYS has loved me back. I dont want to get into it on the internet since i havent even spoken about it much to anyone, but my cat, my saving grace, was a gift from my first handler. and she stayed with me in my care since. alot of people dont know this, and are undermining my connection to my cat and the pain im experiencing having to make this decision. it feels like my world is falling apart around me. and im terrified

trigger warning, speaking vaguely about very dark thoughts. please keep yourselves safe and treat yourselves gently.

im so scared to be alone, truly alone again. I honestly dont know what im going to do to myself. my closest friend is terrified for me, if god only knows then she has an idea of the toll this is going to take on me on top of everything else.

It was yesterday evening. we were having evening snacks in the room and the dog was on the terrace, usually he comes with the sound of wrapper as we have him his treat, he didn't came so after I finished mine I went to terrace to give him his part, he was on the floor still, we called a nearby vet He examined and told it was heart failure.

Now, I am not able to cry properly or how to process this heavy transition. I was trying to make excuses till yesterday to do the last work but now the house feels empty, he was the one who wakes me everyday at 6:00am. Has been with me for 7years. A rescued indie dog . He didn't blame me for childishness, he was the one with whom I felt emotionally comfortable. At least I believe he also enjoyed the times together and is happy till its last moment.

Hi, I just wanna share this with you guys because I don't know if my friends or family really understand how I've been feeling lately.

So, recently, my cat passed away. She had cancer in one of her paws, and I blame myself so much for not taking her to the vet sooner. From day one, the vets told me that the tumor was very aggressive and that it had already spread to her lungs.

That was about three months ago, and during that time, I tried everything I could to raise money for her chemo treatments. I sold a lot of things, like clothes and CDs, and I even sold candy at my school. I mention this because I really wanted to help her. I cared about her so much, and I wanted to do everything I could to save her.

A few days ago, I took her to the vet because I noticed a few new growths on her tumor. They told me the chemo wasn't working and that I had to make the decision to put her to sleep. I was devastated. The next day, I decided not to go to school because she was breathing really hard and strangely.

That was the day she passed away, and I haven't even had a moment to process everything that's happened.

It's been four days, and I still feel so sad. I feel completely lost, and sometimes I wonder how I'm supposed to keep going without her. I don't want to worry anyone around me, but I honestly don't know what to do with all these feelings.

For those of you who have lost a pet you loved so much, how did you cope with it? Does this feeling ever get easier? I just need some advice from people who understand what it's like to lose a part of your family.

Just really struggling with this right now with my childhood 13 yr old Labrador Olive who's due to assisted to die in 2 days. I just know it's the right decision as any reduced appetite for her is a sign something's very wrong, and she has a tumour crushing her spine, but still I just feel awful as she's the last one of my childhood pets.

We had to make the awful choice to put my 11 year old family dog to sleep this week. She was genuinely my soul dog. I feel an immense amount of guilt for not seeing her more at the end of her life. She lived with my parents and siblings and I moved out with my fiance. I know it’s life and it’s normal. I came home all the time to see her and take her on walks. It just doesn’t feel like enough I just hope she knew she was still my girl and I didn’t leave her. I spent four hours with her on the day she passed and went with her to the vet. I just feel sick and my thoughts are all over the place. Everyone keeps telling me that I did enough, she knows she was my girl, I did everything right, it’s life people have to grow up and move out etc but I just don’t think it’ll ever feel right to me idk. I just miss my girl.

I have lost my sweet baby girl Fenouil (Fennel) this past monday. She became very ill very suddenly and when we go to the vet her red blood cells were so low that there wasnt much chances of saving her. We had to let her go, she was only 2 years old.
I feel guilt, i am worried and i just want to know that she is ok now. I dont understand why this has happened to us.
I miss her so much… i dont know why life can be so unfair.
Just came here to seek sone support from fellow grieving pet parents.

(English is not my first language so sorry if there are mistakes)

I don’t know what to do. It’s currently 3am and I’ve not stopped crying since we lost him over 12 hours ago.

I was sat at my desk as I work from home and he reached up for attention/cuddles as he always does. Then he started to have what looked like a fit. Then he collapsed on the floor, struggled to breathe whilst growling then he went silent and stopped breathing. I tried rubbing his back, stroking his chest. Pleading for him to get up. Could I have done more? Everything happened so quickly. This is not fair and I don’t understand it. I rushed him to the vets but he was already gone. I begged him to wake up the whole time I was driving to the vets. The vet said it must have been a heart attack and it happens a lot with his breed but I had no idea! You can get them tested for heart issues but I had no clue, was never told and didn’t even see a hint of it in a random social post or anything online.

I can’t believe I’m never going to see him again, see him playing with his favourite toys, hear his little chirps or feel him making biscuits on me ever again. He was only 7 and had no health issues or warning signs. He was happy and healthy then 30 seconds later he was gone. I’m absolutely devastated.

It also happened on the 1 year anniversary of our dog passing.

He was my little buddy, shadow and best friend.

I feel lost and empty.

Edit: Thank you so much for all your lovely comments. I’m trying to read them and reply through so many tears. It’s helping me to talk about him more and process this horrific event and monumental loss

last night I lost my soulcat she was very old and not in good health i knew i would have to say goodbye but i didn’t know yesterday would be my mast day with her I was sad but accepted it but today has hit me like a ton of bricks and it’s so weird her not being in my room and seeing all her stuff not wear it is. i know she’s not in pain anymore but I want her to be happy and healthy and to still be with me midge meant to much to me i had her since 2014 when i was 6 years old she had the best 12 years with me and she will be in my heart forever. 12.04.14-13.10.26🪽🕊️ I love you midge and I hope you’re not in pain anymore

My cat, Winnie was 16.5. She’d had a few months of health problems (diagnosis of hyperthyroidism in April which was well controlled, hospitalisation for dehydration in May during a heatwave) but was generally well over the summer and still enjoyed her usual routines and spots in the house. In August she contracted a nasty UTI that wasn’t cleared by regular antibiotics. Her urine culture unfortunately took 9 days during which time she was unmedicated and got very unwell but eventually they found her strain and some antibiotics that would work and the infection cleared.

But from this point everything changed. She began to eat litter (there was no medical cause for this, she wasn’t anaemic and she didn’t have mineral deficiency) and I couldn’t get her to stop, she was losing weight rapidly (had been 2.1kg in May and dropped to 1.8kg by end of August and then was down to 1.7kg by the 28th September), was intermittent with her eating, and kept herself in the spare room. I had to put her in there anyway when I was out or sleeping so I could allow my other cats to have access to the litter trays without her being able to eat the litter, but I opened the door when I was home (I work part time and am home more often than I’m not) because the other cats would ask me if they needed to get in and use the trays, but she didn’t really come out much. She never came into my bed anymore and she so rarely came out to her usual spot in the living room or to sit on the sofa beside me I’d get exited when she did. I made the room comfy for her, putting in her favourite basket and toys and leaving a quiet radio on for company.

On September 11th she had a suspected mini stroke or TIA. She had been walking sideways and a bit low and tilted to the ground. I took her into the vets expecting to come home without her, but she came out of it quickly and the vet felt it wasn’t her time and we should run tests. She was diagnosed with stage 2 ckd the following Tuesday and on the Wednesday went in for her blood pressure to be checked. This was very high and she started on the lowest dose of Amocard on Friday 18th. She was well in the interim for the most part and the week following her starting on the meds. But on the 29th September she began to have head tremors. She went back down to the vet and her blood pressure was rechecked and it hadn’t come down at all despite the Amocard. She went up from 1/2 a tablet to 3/4. Wednesday and Thursday she was fine but Friday and Saturday she had two pretty bad days of the head tremors and definitely seemed confused and scared and wouldn’t eat. Sunday she was sleepy but better, no tremors and a little eating! Monday she was fine and ate well.

Then on Tuesday I went in to see her in the morning. She tried to get up out of her basket to say hello but struggled to get up. She did manage to get out eventually but was unsteady. She was walking sideways again and fell over a number of times and seemed only able to go a few steps at a time. I was immediately sobbing and panicked (especially at the worry she was going to have a major stroke) and did on that day feel it was time to let her go. In 8 days, 4 of them hadn’t been good and she was scared and suffering. Her vet was in theatre all day but took the time to call me quickly and we agreed it was time. I spent the day with my girl and at 5.15 I took her down to the vets and she passed peacefully whilst eating her favourite treat.

However since then I’m intensely sure I made a mistake and it wasn’t her time to go. In my panic and grief that day I added a week to the length of time she’d been on her blood pressure medication when I discussed it with her vet, saying it was 3.5 weeks instead of 2.5 (19 days). I know she was suffering on her bad days but I think I didn’t give her enough time to see if we could get her blood pressure down and get her neurological symptoms to resolve. I was so focused on giving her the best last day I could that when I took her down to the vet I didn’t even think to ask for her blood pressure to be rechecked to see if it had moved at all and we were on the right track. Her kidney disease was only stage 2 and she liked the renal food when I swapped her to it. Her blood work had been good. Her blood pressure was high but it should have been treatable. But I chose to put her down in a panic.

Did I make a mistake and kill my cat because that’s how I feel? It’s making my grieving process so much worse, instead of mourning the loss of my beloved cat I’m fixated on feeling like I didn’t give her the time I should have and I let down the thing I cherish most when it mattered most. I am really struggling to cope with the decision and her loss. Any advice is welcome.

seeking advice. last week, we had an incidental finding of a very large spleen tumor on my 11yo staffy. she is otherwise completely healthy, playful, great appetite, loves to hike, really showed no signs of any medical issue. first vet thinks hemangiosarcoma and sends us to specialist for further imaging and surgery. specialist finds a second tumor in her intestine- she is no longer a candidate for surgery as risk of going septic during R&A of intestine is too high. chemo was discussed but ultimately decided she wasn’t a good fit with two separate types of cancer.

now we’re home, and i’m unbelievably grateful for the extra time, but every day is like a ticking time bomb of her splenic mass rupturing. i can’t have her suffer or be in pain, but with her being so happy and playful, i feel like choosing to put her down is taking her life away from her.

i’ve had her for over 10 years. she is my best friend. and i don’t know what to do.

the guilt is consuming me and i don’t think i can handle choosing to put her down, but i know i cant handle her being in pain when the splenic mass eventually ruptures.

advice desperately needed.

I said goodbye to my dear sweet cat of 20 years today. It was the most heartbreaking decision I have ever made in my life. But I did not want him to be in pain anymore. I was glad that I had the week to know and spoil and love him. But the last 24 hours were really difficult. Specifically, all the little things I knew would be the last times. The last time we went to the park. The last time we sat on the porch together. The last time we played. I knew it was the last time I would fall asleep with the familiar weight of him on my chest. He went quickly and peacefully in my arms, which was the dignified ending he deserved. I’ve alternated throughout the day between being numb and falling apart, but nothing prepared me for the pain of lying here and facing my first night without him in 20 years. The pain is unbearable. I cannot breathe through the tears. I don’t think I’ll be getting much sleep tonight.

I was playing video games with my headphones on, and my dog was in his bed next to me. I went to pet him, and with just one touch I could tell he was gone. I freaked out really bad and broke a few things. It happened so suddenly, I don’t know what to do. He passed away Monday morning at around 4 am, so it’s been almost 2 days. But I still feel so sad and I feel a bit guilty because I’ve been away at college, and was visiting over the weekend. I know I’m lucky that he was even around this long, but it also makes it hurt more. I don’t really remember a life without him, he was like my brother. And I also can’t help but feel bad that I missed his last moments playing video games. Maybe if I didn’t have my headphones on I would’ve heard something, and possibly been able to help? I don’t know, I’m sort of in denial right now. My parents removed him from my room because I couldn’t touch him, and put him outside overnight so we could bury him in the morning. But I kept going outside to check on him because I thought he would be cold outside if he somehow miraculously woke up. I don’t know, I’m just typing a lot for no reason getting my thoughts out. Thank you for listening.

I've read a few threads on this page with a similar line of reasoning, but I am very distressed over my current circumstance and would love some insights/opinions/experiences.

My 12 year old golden retriever, who has 3 legs after losing her hind leg to sarcomas a year ago, has just been told there is a huge mass in her chest which is putting pressure on her thorax, moving her heart to the ribs, and preventing space for oxygen intake. She's had a splenectomy this year, and a nasty bout of tick fever. All in all, she has been dealt a really difficult set of cards but.... she's happy. Happier than any dog I've seen. She outlived our late dog who had no health issues aside from artheritis, she is sprinting on 3 legs, she begs for food at any given scenario (if I make a snack in the middle of the night she'll wake up and beg), and she craves hanging out with her dog pals.

We went to the vet on saturday because of fluid build-up in her abdomen (2L!!). Even after her mass diagnosis, we were told she has 'weeks to months' to live, and can't exercise/exert herself much, but the minute she came out of the clinic, she ran away from staff and sprinting towards me, and has continued to try since. Her appetite hasn't wavered one bit, and shes still begging and rolling around after getting meat.

I know what the end result is of a chest mass pressing on the lungs, thorax and heart. I have cried and cried, I have barely slept, but everytime I bring up euthanasia in front of her she begins barking hysterically, even if she's silent. When I'm particularly distressed putting on her harness, she thinks shes going to the vet and starts shaking uncontrollably (never done this before).

I guess my question is, knowing the inevitable suffering, how do i reconcile the fact my dog doesn't want to go, and is still happy now, with the potential threat of hypoxia and acute suffering that comes with leaving it too late?

Selfishly, I have to go on a work trip on Sunday and I am dreading leaving her.

I’ll do my beat to be concise but I have a lot of feelings right now. I could talk about my littles all day if you let me.
In 2019, I got three guinea pigs. One was all a mostly white/pepper spotted Abyssinian named Monster with the prettiest “eyeliner”. One of them was a little black dutch Abyssinian-Peruvian with the cutest little hair cowlick off her butt from the Peruvian side named Bandit (super original, I know, lol). The last was a red dutch Abyssinian, so she had the same mask but ginger, named Creature. Bandit and Creature were littermates, actual sisters.

Three years back, Monster took off running to the rainbow bridge and left my two masked ladies behind. It was completely spontaneous and I didn’t even see it coming. Bandit stopped eating and I had to feel her critcare for a couple days and Creature stepped up as the herd leader, though far less vocal. You could tell they both missed her and needed time to adjust. They did eventually come back around and we had our happy little life.

Last December, I noticed Bandit was dropping weight like crazy. She would bolt around the cage at all hours, eat everything, drink everything. Something was wrong and she went from 2 pounds down to half a pound in a month, so I took her to the vet and she was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. She was given a twice-daily medication and that was that; she put on a little more weight (though I could never get her back up over a pound) and stopped running at all hours.
In May of this year, she decided she decided she didn’t want the medicine anymore. She refused to swallow when I’d dose it to her, instead she’d let it drip out of her mouth. So my vet and I agreed that she did not want it and when she took a turn again, we’d reassess.
She maintained her weight plateau up until September. I could touch her hip bones again, and this time she was incontinent and covered in urine to the point of having to bathe her every other day. Her cowlick was gone from the hair loss of malnutrition and she was so frail. Somehow with all of that she still climbed the cage for snacks, ran around with Creature, she’d call out the moment she knew I was home. She was very sick, but animals are great at pretending they’re fine, so I had to move forward with letting her go to sleep.

This presented a new problem; Creature was also affected by Monster’s passing, and bonding a senior to a new companion is very difficult. Especially a senior sow that’s playing boar, because it can lead to fights as well as the depression from loss. I made the difficult decision to euthanize Creature as well; and it makes me feel evil to say that. She was so healthy and full of life and she wasn’t pretending. Creature was a tank of a little lady. She lost her left eye to a tooth infection the year before Monster passed away, and came out of surgery itchy but otherwise unbothered. She would even try to look at you with her left side as if she never lost it.

When we got into the room at the vet, the techs told me they’d give the girls a sedative so they’d go to sleep first and not feel their passing. Bandit went to sleep so nicely and she looked so peaceful with her whiskers twitching while I thanked her for all of her years with me. Unfortunately I think the thing about redheads and anesthesia translates to animals as well because Creature was asleep for all of 2 minutes before she snapped back awake. It was an incredibly messed up experience, but I also saw firsthand why I chose to put Creature to sleep too. She could only move her face, and her eye was so bugged out of her head. She was stressed and scanning the room; the only thing that calmed her down was when I put her face in Bandit’s face. At that point, she just looked at her, softly wheeking. The tech came back and saw how awake Creature was a took her back for more sedative. The first thing I did when she came back was put the two of them nose to nose so Creature could feel calm again. When they were both finally asleep, I left.

Guilt is harder to process when it’s mixed in with so much understanding. Everything I did made sense. It would’ve been more selfish to keep Creature alone and away from Bandit just so I wouldn’t have to hold the burden of making that call. I had to. I keep telling myself I had to.
I’m also very grateful for the support of my boyfriend, who’s helped me take apart the cage I made for my girls. It’s on to a new chapter for me. I have a lot of love left to give to little hearts, including my dog and my cat who are confused about the missing cage. Thank you for taking the time to read.

It’s been a month since saying goodbye to my sweet boy, Rascal. I miss him so much. I live alone and also WFH so the emptiness he’s left behind has been really difficult to navigate. On some days I feel like I’m stuck in this endless pit of sadness. I try to get out and socialize with friends and family but I still feel so alone. Anyone else have to go through losing a pet while living alone and also working from home? I feel hopeless staring down a dark miserable tunnel with no light at the end. I just miss my boy so much.

It’s been barely twelve hours and my bf just left for work and out house is painfully empty. Our barely 1 year old Maincoon cat Yule went into sudden congestive heart failure on Sunday night. We had him in the emergency hospital and were under the impression he may have somehow inherited a known heart problem that maincoon’s have but unfortunately it was far worse. Our sweet boy was just unlucky and had a completely random congenital heart defect, the cardiologist said it was the most severe case he had ever ever seen and the likelihood of even getting him stable enough to come home for palliative care was unlikely.
Just 361 days after we brought our sweet boy home he had to be put to sleep in our arms, every medical resource possible had been exhausted and his little body could not go on anymore. My bf and I are both completely devastated and traumatized by this whole ordeal and are trying to make peace with even if it had been caught sooner nothing could have been done to prolong his life. We got to love our perfect boy the entire time, his little unique heart and all. He was so deeply loved by us and I find myself looking around the house for him, I am going to be looking for him for the rest of my life. If you are in here and also struggling with the loss of your pet just know my baby boy is up there with your babies being a goof and a snuggle with them.

I have to say goodbye to my dog today at 7:00 p.m. at home, after nine years together, and I feel completely helpless.

I just came back from vacation, and nobody at home told me how rapidly her health had deteriorated. Now, I can’t stop feeling like I betrayed her by being away when she needed me most. I wasn’t by her side during the last three weeks, and that thought is breaking my heart.

I knew she had a small, open wound, but it was actually a tumor growing outward from her body. We thought it simply wasn’t healing properly because it was located right on the joint of her front leg. We got medication from the vet, but within just three weeks, her condition deteriorated rapidly. The tumors have spread across her shoulder, chest, and even her stomach. Some of them are as large as my fist.

I’m angry at myself for not taking her to other vets to get a second opinion. I’m angry at the vet for not recognizing what was happening. And I’m angry at the people I trusted to look after her, because they didn’t question anything or try to do more.

Because of my job, I’ve spent a lot of time away from home over the past few years. I’ve rarely been there during the week, and now I feel like I’ve failed her. I keep thinking that I should have done something differently, that somehow, this is my fault. Maybe I should have taken her to the vet more often for routine checkups instead of relying on the two appointments we had every year.
I wish I had taken her on more adventures. I wish we had traveled the world together and discovered new places instead of spending so much time at home. But because of her hip dysplasia, she could no longer walk long distances, so we stayed home instead. We enjoyed the quiet moments, the cuddles, and all the little things we could still do together.

And now, I keep wondering if I should have done more. If I should have given her more experiences, more adventures, more of the world. If I should have made more memories with her while I still had the chance.

I feel like time is slipping through my fingers, and I never got the chance to give her all the things she deserved. I regret how much time my job has taken away from us. For the last three years of her life, I was mostly there on weekends and during my vacations, and now I can’t stop thinking about all the time we lost.

I know that, in the end, I can’t change what has happened. But that doesn’t stop me from wishing I could go back and do things differently. I wish I had been there more. I wish I had noticed sooner. I wish I could have protected her from this.

Today, at 7:00 p.m., I have to make the decision to let her go, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to live with the thought that I might have been able to do more.
I know I have to be strong, especially because I need to be there for King, her big brother, too. I know he will need me, just as I need him. But right now, I don’t know how to be strong. I don’t know how to process all these feelings, how to deal with the guilt, or how to say goodbye to a dog who has been part of my life for nine years.

All I know is that I love her, and I wish I had more time.
I wish nine years hadn’t gone by so quickly. I wish I could have given her more. And I wish that, somehow, she could understand that even though I wasn’t always there, she has never been forgotten, never been unloved, and never been anything less than a part of my family.

I just don’t know how to let her go.

does anyone feel like as they get closer to a year of them being gone, the grief becomes unbearable again? i feel like every day that i get closer to it, the ugly raw parts of my grief are coming out. i want to sleep all day, i cry daily, im so unmotivated, i don’t want to go on walks or drink water or read a book, i just want to rot away. i can’t believe it’s been 10 months since i held her as she took her last breath, since i kissed her forehead, i just miss her. so fucking much. every day since she died feels like agony. i just want her back. i wish so badly that i could just have her back. i don’t feel like myself. i was so happy before she died, i was so positive, so optimistic, so adventurous, i feel like the person i was died with her and now i’m just empty.

I posted yesterday about my dog suddenly passing away. I want to thank you all for your kind words and support. Today feels absolutely gut wrenching...

Yesterday when it happened it was of course hard but I think I was in shock a bit. Today it has really set in and I've been crying all day. I just miss him so much and everything reminds me of him. My brain is torturing me with what ifs.

I just don't know how to handle this. It kills me because animals are so pure they don't deserve anything bad to happen to them. Having a pet is truly an incredible experience but it really does set you up for one very sad day.

i was here a year ago (well tomorrow will be a year) because i had made the decision to put down my cat because we found out she had lung cancer and was not going to last the week.

at first it was really hard, i had my princess for about 16 years it was gonna be her 17th bday three days later. sometimes i feel super guilty for making that decision but she was suffering so much.

i think about her every day sometimes i'd cry but majority of the time i don't. today however i'm feeling it a lot. i'm just looking at pictures of her and videos of her basically just being alive and i just feel so guilty.

i miss her so much... i would do anything to have her with me again