When do I know when?

[u/EggplantNo1992]

Everyone always says “when he’s ready, you’ll know.” And I’ve always said, I’ll never keep him here to spare me the pain. But as we grow closer, I feel like the lines are so blurred. Royce (13 y/o Boston Terrier) was diagnosed with a chemodectoma in April 2025. We decided to go the no-treatment route and I honestly do not regret it. He’s a trooper and a borderline miracle dog at this point, I know. Over the past few months, my sweet boy has been slowing down tremendously. We battled IVDD which has been really well managed by a cocktail of medication and bowel issues that have been relieved with his new food. The past few days he has had multiple spells where he collapses (not losing consciousness) and urinates on himself. His wheezing labored breathing has also gotten worse. He still eats like a lil piggy and has his moments where he seems truly happy and “fine.” But I can see the defeat and exhaustion on his face. I feel like I’m in a weird in between place right now where we are just waiting for his heart to give out. I know that will be so horrific for me to experience but (hopefully) quick for him. I don’t want to give up on him too soon, but I also don’t want him to go in a traumatic and painful way. Has anyone been in the same boat with a chemodectoma and if so, how did you “know?” I can’t imagine saying goodbye when he still has moments of being his usual self. We aren’t in the diaper wearing, no eating, accidents all the time stage yet. But I also don’t think that’s how it will end for us. I’m preemptively grieving and maybe grieving too soon. It just doesn’t feel like there will ever be a right time. Any thoughts or guidance is so appreciated.

[u/Kooky-Laugh-7861]

I'm so sorry to hear about Royce's condition.They truly become pert of the family.

We are in a very similar situation and it's so tough and so very sad.

Our 16 year old Jack Russel (Ben) was diagnosed with prostate cancer(about 3/4 weeksa ago) and we had to make the difficult decision between an operation , chemo or palliative care.

After many tears, talks with vet and Google searches we decided to give him the best home care possible until its time.

When that time comes we are going to keep the below in mind :

- "better a week too early than a day too late"

- " Making that choice is the final, ultimate act of taking his/her pain and making it your own".

All the best !