Hey y'all! My surgery is scheduled for mid-December and I am very excited, even though it doesn't feel real yet :) I am a pretty stable weight right now, 160 lbs ish, but I do foresee losing a bit of weight post top surgery because I will be more comfortable in my exercises (I run, which is currently painful, and do yoga). I know it'll be progressive but I also know that scars react differently because the skin isn't connected yet, not really. Will this process create dog ears or loose skin? I haven't really been able to get a solid answer.

Hey! My surgery (DI with grafts and reinnervation) is 11/20 so just over a month away. A couple weeks ago I was seeing a play that I hadn't seen since before coming out, and I had a panic attack in the middle of it about like...am I making a mistake/is this fine/can I live with this actually/should I cancel surgery. I'm just wondering if others dealt with panic/second guessing shortly before surgery and if so, how you sifted through what was just panic vs an actual concern? Did anyone end up cancelling or postponing or radically changing their surgery because of last minute doubt?

For background, I'm 30, no T (did it briefly, not for me), came out in 2021 after I finally realized that not everyone feels like their gender is a role in a high school play they never wanted to be in. I present masc of center (whatever that is) probably 80% of the time and occasionally enjoy an alt fem-ish situation. I was raised really religious and have some childhood sexual trauma (re: my chest specifically) that's meant I have always had a complicated relationship to my chest. I remember being excited at the onset of puberty because I desperately wanted to be and look grown up (which feels taboo to say? I always wonder if it means I'm not trans bc I didn't hate puberty at the beginning), but beyond that, most of the messaging around my chest was all shame based.

Once I left the religious context I grew up in, I was less worried about modesty but also just...didn't like calling attention to my chest and ended up hiding it (which at the time I would have said was some religious conditioning holdover). My chest was pretty small which I was happy about, although I never liked being topless (even asleep or alone) and definitely didn't like having breasts in a sexual context. When I started wearing binders and taping after coming out, I found it kind of delightful, especially because I could get pretty much flat with it, and I started assuming I'd do top surgery eventually but didn't actually plan it...and then I 1) quit doing the eating disorder thing and 2) started birth control for awful PMDD, and between the two, my chest size went up (from like an A to a small C). I also have chronic joint pain, so binding has become harder and harder, and sports bras don't cut it with the size of my chest now.

My current partner (been together for two years) is the first person I've actually felt comfortable with sexually, and I can tolerate being topless around her, but I don't like it and I can't handle my chest being interacted with or looked at. I stopped birth control after a hysterectomy in the summer and my chest size went back down a little (to like a B range afaik) and that's made me feel less like there's something weird and foreign attached to me, but it's definitely not zero of that feeling. It's just more tolerable. I can sometimes look at it in the mirror and be fine. I can sometimes wear a binder and feel fine. When I had the panic attack during the play, I ended up looking down at my chest (I had a too-small compression top on under a somewhat fitted shirt) and being like "well I don't hate this so maybe it's crazy to be doing a whole surgery, omfg."

My plan for months has been to ask for just barely not quite flat surgery (soft pecs, basically -- small enough to be shirtless outside but with a small bit of softness, and playing around with nipple size and placement). We talked about it at my consult but I didn't have pictures at the time, but I do now and will talk to my surgeon in a couple weeks. My medical clearance appointments are all scheduled. Plane tickets are bought. Airbnb is paid for. This is a stupid time for my brain to do a panic but ever since that panic attack, whenever anyone asks me if I'm excited about surgery, I just have this horrible feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach and I end up saying I'm excited because I'm supposed to be, but what I actually feel is just dread and anxiety and fear about waking up and still hating my chest, or regretting it, or realizing I'm actually an imposter and not really trans, or wishing I'd asked for something different surgery wise (in either direction! worried I'll want flat if I go with my soft pecs plan and worried I'll miss the option of softness if I go totally flat), or that top surgery won't actually look good on me (even though it looks amazing on you all), or any of a dozen other worries (including that I found out during my hysterectomy that I have endometriosis and now I am worried about having to go back on birth control eventually for that and oh my GOD what if my chest grows back).

Sorry for the word vomit. I guess I just want to know if this happens to other people and if so, what did you do, did it continue through surgery recovery/when did it get better, did you change anything about your surgery plans because of it, how did you know if doubt was real, etc.?

And yes, I have talked to my therapist about this, and my partner and my transmasc sibling and several friends. It's just that aside from my sibling (whose trans identity looks very different from mine, including that they have literally always known they were transmasc and I didn't know), no one else has had top surgery.

I got surgery on October 6th! I’m super super happy with my results! Because of some family stuff I wasn’t even sure if it was going to happen but my dr and I managed to make it work! In the next week or so I’ll give a more in depth analysis of the process with Dr. Daniela Cornelio!

Im still doing excercise and such lol but i would love to see results for people like me , im 158cm height and im 52 Kg weight if that also helps with anything ( :

I’ve decided to go with getting a radical reduction/ nonflat top surgery after about a year of going back-and-forth. I’ve decided that this is the right option for me and I am happy with going through with that, but one thing does stick out to me. The only option for me, unfortunately with the size chest that I am now H cup and with my goals being an A/B cup I would have to do free nipple graphs, which is a bit scary to think about how they will have to take everything out out of my chest.

I don’t plan on wanting kids biologically and even if I did, I do not want to breast-feed them, but for some reason, the thought of them taking everything out of my chest and just having some sort of balls and fat there is disturbing for me to think about. I don’t know if anyone has thought of anything like this or gone through something like this similar, but I feel worried about it and kind of sad.

Hello! I have my surgery scheduled this upcoming Tuesday and I’m still in the process of finalizing the procedure I would like to get. I would describe myself as nonbinary/genderfluid and I use all pronouns. My goal is to end up with the equivalent to a small A cup starting at 30DD. I am quite dysphoric about the current size and shape of my chest now as I tend to want more of an androgynous look. I always describe the way I feel about my gender to people by saying “I want people to be confused that I am a girl.” The post I have found that is closest to my goal is this one here .

I just had a consultation with my surgeon in which I was given two options:

1. We could go with anchor scarring and he could get me safely down to a “full A or a low B” and preserve a more feminine breast shape.
2. We could go with a nipple graft and horizontal double incision and he could get me down as small as I’d like to be, but the shape would not resemble that of a breast and was described to me as an “overgrown” male chest.

I’m having trouble understanding what he means by this phrasing and any insight would be helpful. The thought of having a B cup scares me quite a bit, as does the thought of having a purely male chest. I have found myself in quite a tough spot and my last resort is to come to Reddit to see if anyone maybe was faced with the same thing. Thank you for your patience.

After a £500 donation to local charity as a part of my promise while fundraising it’s left me a bit short.

I’ve been working hard this year running events & participating in sponsored races.

If anyone is able to help out with a small amount id be so grateful. I’m about £300 short.

https://gofund.me/eabace46f

Question for folks who had a revision to remove more tissue - what's your sensation currently like? does that feel tolerable for you in pursuit of your other goals? My surgeon said that he could try lipo but if they weren't able to get enough tissue would re-open at my original scars, but either option would likely result in a loss of sensation. I had neurotization to preserve sensation at the first surgery and it worked well. I guess I'm just looking for others' experiences to have some more data on what's possible.

I really want top surgery, but I'm sitting on the fence between flat and non-flat and nipples or no nipples.

I'm quite curvy and plus sized, and am worried flat will look weird with my broad hips.

Is anyone willing to share some pics with me of how they look after top surgery with broad hips and/or plus sized?

I'm anxious about top surgery- mostly the confusion about choosing between flat and nonflat/radical reduction, but I also am anxious because I know scars too "square" on my chest will make me more dysphoric than I am now (which is what I've seen in most top surgery result photos).

I was thinking the dysphoria would probably be better with a little breast tissue to obscure it, but I was also wondering if the incisions/scarring look different for reduction vs flat top surgery. Most of the posts on non flat/radical reduction all mention T incisions, but are there other options??

Primarily I want to look flat in my clothes, and I wouldn't be happy out of them without some breast tissue. But the scarring is really stressing me out because I know I'll obsess over it if they're too "square" on my body.

If anyone has experience with this, ideas, alternatives, or advice on how to mention this to surgeons I would really appreciate the help.

ty

CW for period talk obviously

I got top surgery at the beginning of the year, and ever since then my period has been very minimal and it’s over faster than before. Even before surgery I only got it for 4 days, never experienced bad cramps or pain, but I had very heavy flow. Now I only get it 2-3 days and the flow is very minimal, idk how to explain it, it’s like the beginning of a normal period with the small brown staining but… that’s most of it.

Idk if there’s an actual reason as to why, because I’ve seen people here say it doesn’t affect your hormones at all, but it’s been like that ever since I got the surgery. I just wanted to know if anybody else shares this experience, obviously I’m not complaining, quite the opposite lol.

Also, sorry for my bad English

r/AFABwDysphoria

I have been agonizing over which surgery to have for over a year - I am so confident I need upper surgery but can’t decide which one because my starting chest is so large (E) I can’t conceptualize a fully flat chest.

I am non binary and have fears on both sides including self expression / sexuality / which I will feel most myself with.

For context I bind daily all day, as the only relief from not thinking about my best all the time. But I never achieve flat, only to look flatter. I know I will feel significant relief to body pain either way, that I will have a much better quality of life but how can I make a decision of one leading to gender euphoria / feeling good in my self when that is something I have never experienced from my chest.

I have heard of many people regretting not going fully flat, and later deciding that is what they want.

Has anyone regretted going fully flat?

Any suggestions on how you came to a decision for surgery and appearance of chest would be so appreciated :))

I had top surgery scheduled for next week. A 3 week stay in Brazil but due to a family emergency I had to postpone it. I know postponing was the right decision. I couldn’t live with myself if the situation worsened and I wasn’t here. But I’m so devastated that I have to go longer with this dysphoria. Not to mention the money that I’m out of now. And the plans I had to meet up with a couple friends while in Brazil. It’s such bad timing and I hate it

I had my surgery today finally!! I can’t believe how flat I am just with the binder. It’s my dream come true. I can’t wait to be able to see the results I’m both nervous & excited. Never been on testosterone so I’m not sure if I’ll get “post op depression.” I may post an update on how my healing is going in a couple weeks

Is it really possible to build muscle, especially chest, without T?

i had my surgery a little over 3 years ago. im intersex but have never been on T. i had my surgery with dr.rudkin at ucla. happy to answer any qs!! this thread helped me so much in prep and recovery.

posting here too :)

Warning for pre-op chest pictures

Hello. Does anyone have a pre-op chest similar to mine??? I’m super perky, 34” circumference, I’d say a B cup. Nipples very high up.

I want to see what technique(s) others have done with my chest. I’ve been to 5 consults with 5 different surgeons. So far this is what each surgeon has offered me for my anatomy and what they’re confident in doing with it. All east coast. I’ve been recommended

1. ⁠nipple sparing DI (Rachel Bluebond)
   
2. ⁠DI with grafts with 1 long incision (gfrerer)
   
3. ⁠DI with grafts ( marano ) (asked if he can do nipple sparing for me like Rachel- said yes, but doesn’t have pictures)
   
4. ⁠DI with grafts, 1 long incision ( Jonathan keith) (warned me not to do peri despite Being small)
   
5. ⁠infra-areola aka nipple sparing with areola resizing a year later (dr. Whitehead) (asked for buttonhole- he refused saying my nipples were too high)

When I started with Rachel, I wanted flat and masculine results. As my journey continued- I realized I really wanted to look like I never developed breasts to begin with. I also very badly wanted to preserve feeling, AND preserve my natural nipples. Buttonhole seemed like an amazing option but dr.whitehead refused to do that on my anatomy.

I’m feeling a bit defeated on what to do. Would really benefit from seeing people with my anatomy and what you ended up with 🫶

I'm just about 2 weeks post-op and I got what I'd probably now describe as a very radical reduction (pre-op pic is last). No nipple grafts.

I know depression and the emotional rollercoaster is common after surgery, as is bloating, as is bad posture, and that my results are not final yet, but I've been worrying that I went too small. I know it's all made-up, and I'm in therapy too, but I am worried that I no longer look feminine and that my stomach is too big and makes me look ways I don't want to look. Like I'm scared I made a mistake that I can't undo.

Sometimes I miss my boobs, but I also did NOT like them before - largely for sensory reasons. I wanted surgery because of all the sensory annoyances that come with big boobs, and maybe I went overboard?? I'm worried I won't be attractive to people now-- although it's not like I was reeling in folks before lol.

I want to get more toned and build muscle, and lose some fat, and I'm nervous that if I do that I might lose the little boob I have left (not sure what the breast tissue/fat ratio is in my new chest).

But I asked for "basically flat" because in all of my mockups of my chest, it seemed like the one that felt most right for me at the time. So I know I made the best decision I could with the information I had at the time. And I know my surgeon did what I asked for. She kept enough tissue to keep my nipples alive, but not much more.

But now I keep looking at other people's results and thinking -- maybe I should have asked her to keep juuust a bit more.

Maybe it's just my brain catching up??

I guess I'm just hoping to hear from folks who were/are in a similar boat, and maybe made it through these same feelings and were fine?

Thank you in advance! 🫶