It’s been almost two years since I lost my mom to cancer and life just keeps getting harder and harder. She passed two days before my son’s first birthday. So much has happened since then. I have a 5 month old daughter now and it breaks my heart every day knowing that I have a child she never got to meet. I miss her so much!

Life is not going the way I thought it would be and I’m so angry. She should be here and she’s not.

I am having such a hard time surviving through motherhood right now with a small village(that I am so so so thankful for) but it’s not the same. My in-laws have no interest in being grandparents and it makes me so mad that my mother was robbed of her chance so early. You would think that would make my in-laws not waste the opportunity to be involved in their grandchildren’s lives more.

I feel like there is a black cloud hanging over me and my little family, we just can’t catch a break. We’re close to losing our home and the bills are piling up. I don’t know what to do at this point. Finding better jobs seems impossible.

I feel like a helpless little girl who desperately just wants and needs her mother. This existence is crushing me. Does anyone have advice on where to turn?

My mom passed away when I was 25 years old, she has been gone for over a decade now. My MIL came into my life when I was 23. I miss my mom so very much and no one would ever truly replace her. She was my best friend, I called her everyday. I truly wanted a relationship with my MIL because I am lonely and I guess I just miss a maternal figure/friend. Someone to complain with and vent, shop but my MIL is just not it. She is a Christian who is not very supportive of others beliefs. When I try to vent or complain, she just tells me that Jesus wouldn't complain about people because everyone isn't perfect (even though she complains and judges people even who go to her church), she barely has any pictures of me in her house in comparison to my SILs because "I got pregnant out of wedlock". She is overbearing with my children, finances, and health. My daughter is my twin yet she rants how she looks nothing like me and just looks like her. I just.. I try so hard I call her mom, gifts, crafts (that I got told to stop making because they don't go with her decor and she is not interested in "Pinterest stuff"). But then she turns around and tells me I am her daughter she never had, she is the mom I needed since mine is gone. And she reminds me CONSTANTLY that my mom is gone. "Since you don't have your mom..." I dont know what to say to her, I do not want to start shit at all. My mom wouldn't want that from me. I just wish she could be my friend. I truly wish I had a friend. I miss my mom. I guess I am just asking for advice, does anyone deal with this.

Watching White Lotus, and as a 40 year old who lost her mom as a teenager, this line hit me hard. I think because it encompasses a part of grief I hadn’t really been able to name previously—the part of it where, the person who thinks about you the most, your wellbeing, your happiness, who invests in your future, who puts you at the center of their universe, is no longer. That universe where you are the most important, is no longer. When this happens to you as a kid, it’s humbling in the worst way.

Sometimes understanding a feeling is comforting in itself, so I thought I would share. Solidarity ❤️

I can't remember my mother's voice. She passed so long ago and I can't remember it. Why does this hurt so badly and how can I cope with this?