Hey all, I’ll try to keep it short. My (23f) partner (28m) got hospitalized multiple times back to back a couple months ago due to what we thought was sepsis from an abcess. After lots of tests, they narrowed it down and conducted a biopsy, which came back last month and found out that he has a type of ALCL. Long story short, we got him in oncology another month later (after much insistent advocation and transfers) and they said it could be curable. After 4 days straight of intensive chemo (and a 3rd hospitalization), the tumors had almost completely shrank, although the road is long from over bc he’s still got about 4 more months of chemo and a necrotic wound that’s just now healing that the main tumor shrank.
Now, that’s all great news. The problem is so much happened in such a short time and it feels like we’re both spinning. His life got completely derailed and went in a direction he never thought it’d go, I was thrown into a caretaking role just after starting 3 different jobs and graduating college. His childhood dog died while he was in the hospital, and he went into septic shock and almost died in front of me one of those nights. Not to mention him being in agony from pain daily (the tumors got as big as tennis balls on the neck!), the stress of both of us advocating and orchestrating all things insurance and medical, and the psychological impact from his experiences and unexpected stays in the hospital where he got multiple other devastating diagnoses. My own personal health and financial issues came up out of nowhere too. Just one of those life timing things that seem to happen when you’re in the worst of it, lol.
Thing is, it’s been a couple months now and as we’ve shared with each other, it still feels like limbo. Yes, he’s responding to treatment, and his energy is coming back. This whole time we’ve kept each other laughing and have been each others peace, but I think that now that things are slowing down and “better”, we’re seeing delayed effects of everything we actually went though. And honestly it’s not like it’s over yet- he’s barely getting a port tomorrow, it’s still early on. We’re trying to remind ourselves what a life lesson this was on the importance of maintaining health, but I think just after running on survival mode for so long, it feels like we’re both running on fumes at this point and slumping. It feels like we’re still stuck in a time bubble of those weeks he was in the hospital and shortly after.
I’m wondering- does anybody have a similar experience, or a way to cope with it? Any advice is appreciated. Thank you all