Hey! I'm 19 and I've had some really hard times lately (cut all the ties with my parents, dealing with depression and anxiety, breaking up with my boyfriend, trying to go through CPTSD…) and something's been added to it.

It's been some years since I've felt like I was not a man nor a woman. I was assigned man at birth and even though I really don't care what pronouns you use (really, I don't), I just feel like I'm starting to experience dysphoria but I'm not really sure about it.

It's not at all like my trans friends who all consider themselves as a man or a woman.

I've been wanting to change my hair for example. And also my clothes. I really LOVE the idea of someone not knowing how to address me. For instance, I can smile alone just imagining the cashier at the supermarket not knowing whether to say "sir" or "miss". It's just like the androgynous thing feels right.

But as I said, I have anxiety. Like… a lot. And since I've cut all ties with my parents in April, I never went for a haircut. My hair is shitty and it's really annoying, though I'm really afraid of going to a hair-cutter.

So I have two questions:

1. For everyone: do the two styles of hair I just pasted below can seem androgynous?
   
2. Mainly for non-binary/agender… people: does anyone also feel this kind of "strange" dysphoria? I say strange because I just feel like I never heard about it before :/

i'm really tired of my parents hating on us. you can look at these pics of some of the shows i mentioned. we watched Raising Dion the other day and they were complaining about Mr. Kwame just for existing. he was doing a talent show at school and my parents just hated his line and seeing his outfit. just bc he's gay. (1st pic)

then we started watching Matlock. and they turned it off a couple times when this couple appeared. and then a new episode came on and they turned if off after hearing about another lesbian couple who lost a child to food poisoning (it's a lawyer show). (2nd pic)

when we watched The Magic Prank Show they fast forwarded when this man proposed to his boyfriend. (3rd pic) when we watched Star Trek Discovery my dad would skip scenes between Paul Stamets and Dr. Hugh and said that Adira "wasn't their child." they wouldn't let me watch the new She Ra when it first came out. they said "it's kids man" when talking about representation in a remake of Franklin. they complain that Netflix "always makes sure there's somebody gay" in their shows. and looking back, they probably made us stop watching Cartoon Network because of Steven Universe or Adventure Time, but i'm not sure.

and there's other examples i could mention but you get it. i've talked about my family's prejudice multiple times, i don't understand how they can love and hurt me simultaneously.

i don't have much time to watch shows that actually represent me, i've been trying to catch up. what do y'all watch now, so when i'm free/can finally pay for stuff i can watch what my parents tried to keep from me? i really enjoy IDWTBAMG and I gotta get back to Owl House

I'm bi and now in relationship with a gay man. He is kind to me and understands me, and I love him—but we only ever talk when I reach out first. Because of this, I feel like I’m begging for his attention; sometimes he won’t reply to my messages for 6–8 hours. I don’t need him to text me constantly or respond immediately, but it would mean a lot to me if he initiated the conversation at least occasionally. I’m hesitant to bring this up with him, though, because I’m afraid it might lead to the end of our relationship—and I don’t want to lose him. Need your advice

So I'm bi and have known for years, and last night I came out to my Dad in the car on the way to a football game. He's always supported gay and trans rights and I remember him bollocking my friend years ago for a homophobic comment, so I knew he'd be chill about it but it still felt scary for some reason

His reaction was basically "fair enough, how long have you known", and when I said I used to feel ashamed he reassured me there's nothing to be ashamed of and said he's there for me. And within 10 minutes we were talking about other things and went back to normal. Which for me is kinda perfect. I don't want it to be a big deal, and he basically said I'm the same person and it's not a problem, and then we just carried on talking about football and stuff. And we went on to win the game for an added bonus

So I'm definitely glad I told him. He said "looks like you've got some confusing times ahead" and made it sound like I can figure things out without feeling the need to hide it anymore which was nice

I came out to my mum years ago but said I was confused rather than saying I'm definitely bi. But recently I've realised it's definitely not just confusion, and I told her again so she knows properly now. Her reaction was very similar. I'm lucky with my parents as they're both pretty liberal when it comes to people being who they are and neither has ever had any issue with sexuality. They used to go to the rocky horror show when they were younger and dressed up in fishnets and makeup and everything. So idk why I even felt scared to tell them lol

So yeah I'm definitely safe and accepted, but for some reason I still feel vulnerable about it. Like this is something I've carried on my own for years and felt a lot of shame for growing up, and now suddenly the 2 people who raised me know about it. I know I shouldn't feel vulnerable and I want to shake it and be more comfortable, but I'm not sure how long that's gonna take

So I guess I came here to ask if anyone else has felt like this after coming out and see how they managed to feel comfortable with people knowing. And I suppose I feel a bit guilty for feeling vulnerable when I have accepting parents, as I know a lot of people will have homophobic parents and genuinely feel unsafe, and I feel like I shouldn't be having issues when I've grown up in a safe household. So just tryna feel comfortable and be myself without feel off about it

And I also just wanted to share as I am also quite excited about it. Like I can really be myself now without hiding that part of me!

Idk who made this I took this from a different reddit.

I never came out to any of them, not even my best friend because it is not that accepted in my country. I thought that my classmates really don't mind but it's just so disturbing to see them being offended when someone calls them a lesbian and they throw a homophohic slur and call them gay. Why is being queer seen as a "bad" thing? I always wonder how the world would be if people started to not give a fuck about others' sexual orientation.

Why do you care so much whether they want a girl or a boy as their life partner? It's not hurting you, is it?

Ok I'm 18M and like a lot of guys here ive been straight my whole life. I've had expereinces with women that's all good. I've also always been that frined that makes loads of gay jokes, and because of it for a loooong time ive gotten gay allegations, most jokingly but i have been paused by my friends and genuinely aksed if I am attracted to them. I've always said no, and my answer is still no. I don't think this aspect has a lot to do with what im struggling with rn, but worth mentioning i guess.

Well since about a year ago the idea of me being attracted to certain men has been floating in my head, and doesn't feel completely unnatural. Weirdly its mainly anime men, like gojo, geto or sanji ifkyk. The problem is that when it comes to real life I extremely rarely see a guy and think 'oh shit' in that way. In fact it's maybe only been about two or three times fr. It's this specific aspect that's messing with me so much, cause even though in a way i feel kinda bi, in practice its rarely feel it. Like at work I work with a lot of guys and not once do i feel aattraction towards them, and i don't feel the constant slight pressure to impress men like most straight guys do with women. Idk I guess it can feel like I'm faking it or that I just want to be bi and am not actually. Also, the fact that im pretty straight presenting makes it harder to fully accept it and I'm also 6'6 and go to the gym so I have a decent build so I'm way bigger than most guys, even the ones that i have found somewhat genuinly attractive, which gets in the way of what i would want when with another guy which would be to feel more relaxed and not have my guard up, unlike when i am with a woman i am attracted to. I guess i just want peoples views on it, and some advice on how to move forward, and wethers its ok to be like 5% into guys 95% into women or something like that?

Thank you

Few points of interest:
- I have bisexual friends telling me that to them I am clearly in denial HAHAHAH
- I have pecked a guy friend whilst drunk on various instances

- I have fantasized about getting with guys, wether that be having sex or just making out, but when I look around at real guys I don't super rarely see anyone I'd actually want to do that with

Jag har många homosexuella kompisar (nästan alla ett tag) så naturligt började jag undra om ja också skulle vara det.

Men jag vet inte om ja är det eller tänker att jag vill vara det. Nu just tror jag att jag är bi.

Men jag vet inte.

Tycker heterosexuella att kvinnas kropp är sexigare än män och gärna skulle ha sex med dem eller som vilja ge dem pleasure??

I’m going to keep this short…
But every time I think of myself, since I was like 7 (I’m 25 now), I never really thought about myself as a woman.
Every time I played video games, I wished I was whatever male character, never a woman.
I never looked at a woman and thought wow I wish I looked like that, but did to so many men.
In my last relationship I had, I couldn’t stop admiring my ex and wished that I too looked like that.
I don’t hate my body, but at times I do wish I looked different. All I think is that I would’ve been happier with myself. I’m ok this way too but yea.
But then… I can never think of myself as a man. I don’t want to be a man. A woman I can accept being, but then also I’m like eh. Slightly mixed feelings. Stuff is confusing.
I always cut my hair short. I go bald when it gets to my shoulders. With the premise that hair physically annoys me. But maybe I lie to myself and it’s not that which causes me discomfort, but looking too womanly.
Anyway. Idk.
Im confused.

Hi everyone! I'd like to ask for some advice.

I recently had an anxiety attack that made me reflect a lot on my sense of identity and how I express myself.

For some context, I'm 25 years old and have been on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) for about 4–5 months. My body has responded well to the changes so far. My reasons for taking HRT are more about aesthetics than gender identity, and I'm comfortable with that.

What I really need help with is: HOW DO I LET GO AND OPEN UP MORE?

I feel like I skipped certain stages of personal development that might have helped me become more comfortable expressing myself, enjoying life, and simply being who I am.

In my case, there's this huge mental block that keeps me from trying to express myself freely. For example, I want to wear makeup, experiment with different clothing styles, wear shorter outfits when going out at night, and be much more uninhibited and open with my boyfriend, including exploring my fetishes.

But something in my mind keeps holding me back. I become hesitant and overthink everything, which stops me from even trying the things I genuinely want to do.

I don't know if it's fear of judgment, insecurity, or something else entirely. I just feel like there's a barrier between who I want to be and how I actually allow myself to behave.

If anyone has gone through something similar or has any advice on how to overcome this kind of mental block, I'd really appreciate hearing your thoughts.

P.S. I live in a small city in Brazil, but I'm planning to move to the state capital in a few years. I think having a different environment might help, but I'd like to start working on myself now rather than waiting for that to happen.

Hi everyone! I'm from the Philippines and currently looking for remote VA opportunities.

Since coming out and having short hair, I sometimes worry that employers judge me based on my gender expression rather than my skills. I've submitted several applications but haven't had much luck, and honestly, it's discouraging.

I have nearly 6 years of customer service experience, plus experience in appointment setting, CRM management, lead follow-ups, and administrative support.

Any advice on finding LGBTQ+-friendly employers or clients? If anyone is hiring a remote VA, I'd love the opportunity to prove my skills.

I just want a fair chance to work and grow. Thank you! ❤️

I’ve come across people who claim that transgender people who haven’t undergone gender-affirming surgery are “fake,” or that they have “internalized transphobia.”
And it’s not just one or two people—quite a few people seem to believe things like this…
That’s not true, is it? It’s perfectly okay to be transgender without undergoing gender-affirming surgery, right?
There’s so much criticism that I’m feeling completely overwhelmed and distressed…
Personally, I believe that if someone identifies as transgender, then they are transgender, regardless of their body, appearance, or whether they’ve had surgery. I also believe that gender-affirming surgery should not be a requirement for someone to be recognized as transgender.
But there are so many people criticizing others for this (or maybe they’re just the loudest voices?) that I’ve reached a point where I don’t know what to believe anymore.
Please, help me…

hi guys! this is going to be kind of a rant post as i have no one in my life to open up to about this. i really hope this is the right place to talk about this.

i'm 22afab, and recently i've been having horrible gender dysphoria. i've had little moments of it throughout my life but i didn't really understand these moments or clocked them for what they were until last year, when i had a complete and total depressive spiral over this cute boy i saw on tiktok. there was this sinking feeling in my chest, and i stalked his posts and felt so much bitterness and hatred and just pure jealousy because of this poor guy. ever since then, it's just been this cycle of basically loving being born a girl, and then phases where i absolutely despise it and i spend time scrolling pinterest looking at pretty boys and just adding more fuel to the flame.

sometimes i feel happy to dress up like a girl, and feel okay with being one. but i'm not sure if that's just me attempting to cope with the hard truth, that i'll never be a cis man. i've never felt truly comfortable in "feminine" clothing or having to doll up every single day to be treated well. when i think about being born a boy i feel so much relief, and then it all comes crashing down when i remember what i am and what i will always be. at this point i just hope reincarnation is real and in my next life i'm born a man.

to make things worse, i'm 5'9, i'm darkskin (which isn't bad. i love being black and i love my skin, but being darkskin as a woman is associated with being ugly and that's a whole other can of worms to open), chubby, and to make it even worse i'm not a pretty girl at all. i find myself constantly asking the universe, if i couldn't be born a boy why did i have to be born as such an ugly girl? i see cis men who are prettier than me and it's a huge slap to the face. it's like i'm meant to suffer.

& i feel like my features that i hate about myself so much would be just fine if i was a boy :"). i feel so masculine as a woman, and it feels like society has done nothing but discard me because i'm not pretty and it hurts. i look at other women, who are so small and pretty and i feel like a man next to them which is such a confusing mix because on one hand i do want to be a man but on the other hand why am i failing at being what i'm "supposed" to be..? . i've never dated anyone, never had a first kiss, never had sex nor been romantically pursued. i haven't been hit on or catcalled and have been bullied my entire life. i have no friends as a result, just nothing but dysphoria and a dead-end job. i've made peace with the fact that it'll probably be like this for the rest of my life.

i don't know, i'm sorry if this doesn't make sense but i just needed somewhere to talk about it and maybe relate to others..? i feel really alone and i'm sorry for being so depressing

o título não ajuda, mas sempre pensei que era muito mais comum mulheres em relacionamentos lésbicos traírem mais com homens do que o oposto, ou seja, homem em um relacionamento gay trair com uma mulher.

isso faz sentido ou é só a minha bolha?

For years, I’ve always felt this sexual attraction toward gay sex, but I never felt emotionally attracted to men themselves. I’ve always felt sexually, emotionally, and physically attracted to women, so I don’t know if it’s just a confusion between fantasies and my actual sexuality or if I’m really bisexual.

My friend was talking about her sexual attraction to her boyfriend and I have never felt such attraction to anyone. Obviously I love people romantically and platonicly but I've never felt like, "yup I wanna fuck them". I have a girlfriend and I love her but I could never love her sexually. I see nude bodies more artistic then sexual and don't get aroused from seeing them. I understand I could be young but it's been hitting me recently when I heard kids in my class talking about sex they've been having (which I think is way too young). I'm almost in high school and I'm aware sexual feelings can develop around middle school but I haven't been able to feel anything towards people in that manner. Is it possible I'm asexual or maybe just not fully developed??

me and this new friend(?) of mine recently got into a debate of transgender people and the meaning of gender.

he said that he thinks transitioning “has its cons” but he is friends with trans people and respects them. he also views gender as very black and white. i personally, think the opposite. gender affirming care is life saving and gender is a social construct that fits everyone differently.

we decided to agree to disagree, but i still feel weird about it. i don’t want to be friends or ass with someone who is iffy on the rights of trans people.

should i stop talking to him? or do i agree to disagree?

Quick self portrait I did which includes some of my socials. I’m very happy with how it turned out

I F19 am bisexual, I grew up in a conservative Catholic family. I originally came out to my mom at 15 but slowly she pushed me back in the closet. She didn’t know about my girlfriend, even though she knew I was bi. After that going horribly wrong (on my mother’s end) I chose to only date men. But recently I have been feeling more attraction to women than men.

I no longer live with my mom anymore and so it isn’t a problem but I don’t want any women I date to meet her. I live with my aunt and uncle who are accepting of me so I could bring her home if I so chose, but I worry about what will happen when I do finally tell my mom. Should I risk it and date women anyways or just not bother?

Sometimes I feel like I’m outside the bounds of female. I don’t feel like a man. I don’t entirely feel like I fit the standard gender identity of female. I don’t like having a chest or I wish I could screw them on and off whenever I like. Or wear a binder most of the time. When I see pictures of me and see my chest I feel like I hate it. I don’t feel like a man, but I also don’t feel ENTIRELY like the “definition” of femininity or identifying as the word woman, y’know? I like the concept of she/they but I just don’t know a good definition. I recently heard of gender queer and that kinda made me think of it as a potential of who I am. I prefer being outside of gender norms. I don’t like dressing super feminine, but I also like to wear fun makeup. Anyways, any advice?

I’m a 17M and In the past year I’ve realized that I find men attractive. I’ve never been that into girls my whole life, I can definitely recognize that some are really good looking but they just don’t make me feel how others I’ve talked to describe it. I’ve tried talking to girls in the past and could never get into it that much, I just felt like something was missing. While with men on the other hand it feels different, like it’s something I actually want instead of what is “normal”. I force myself sometimes to watch straight porn to try and see if I enjoy it, and the whole time I feel miserable and stressed out. The whole time I can only think about how I don’t want to watch it, and guys I think look attractive. The thought of being with women in general kinda stresses me out while with men it’s the opposite. I try to fantasize about women but I genuinely just feel kinda uncomfortable the entire time. I feel like part of me must like women tho since I keep watching straight porn to see if I’m attracted to the women in it, even though it makes me feel really bad. Is there any questions I can sit down and ask myself to figure this out?