I feel like it’s so hard to relate to other lesbians because most are so confident and I am not. I feel extremely inadequate when it comes to being with a woman. Mainly during sex, but even outside of sex. Men and dick are so glorified that it’s hard to see what I can offer a woman that a guy can’t. I feel like they can do everything we can do but more. They have a penis, they are stronger so can protect better, they can give her kids, they can make more money, etc. Every lesbian I know sleeps with guys yet claims to be a lesbian. Every lesbian I have ever known is now in a relationship with a man. The things I’ve heard when I tell people I’m a lesbian who’s married has completely ruined my confidence. Straight women who have said they have slept with women to experiment and felt like it was missing something. They say it felt like foreplay missing the main act. That’s all I am to my wife? Foreplay? Mutual masturbation? I’ve been told how much better the “real thing” is. How vaginas are made for dick, not fingers. Straight women have talked about how the connection is way better when there’s mutual pleasure. Said that a penis can feel when it’s hitting a bad/good spot, and a strap cannot. A penis is warm and throbbing, a strap is not. All this other shit. I don’t know how I’m the only one that is affected by these things. It’s depleted any last bit of confidence I’ve had to the point where I feel like it’s not even worth it.

I’m 19 and I’ve been attracted to women but I’ve always thought I was bisexual because I still had desire to be with a man but I never really fully enjoyed sex. I have a boyfriend right now who is really good to me but I just don’t think I’m really attracted to men and it’s such a problem and I hate that I’ve ignored this for so long. I think I have always wanted to be straight because it’s so much easier to be something your not than to be different, I don’t even think I want to come out to anybody but I’m starting to think I should if this continues I’m gonna have to because I can’t keep lying to myself. I really had my gay awakening and I feel like I can’t do anything about it. I love my boyfriend and I do want to be with him but I just don’t know if I’m bisexual anymore or attracted to men pls help 😭

I (33F) posted a while back, but I realised I have a strong attraction to women emotionally physically and mentally a while back after falling for a colleague in Feb this year. I told my partner (33M) I think I am gay, but I remember some attraction and interest in men... I am hoping for some advice on how to stop thinking about women. I went and had a couple of hook ups in a bit to explore but unfortunately instead of being turned off now the thought of these encounters keep playing in my head- the way her body feels under my hands, the taste of her skin the sounds of her moans... I think my brain is throughly messed up and I do not want to give up my nice stable life with my nice male partner... I can tolerate sex with him- he knows what he is doing but I do not like kissing or looking at him. The penetration is okay, I can give a bl*wjob if I imagine going down on a woman.... I feel I need to try harder to be more present during intimacy, but my brain is spinning... My therapist said she can't really help with that, and she feels I made up my mind to leave him... I am desperate because he is my best friend and we have a really nice place together. Maybe I am just an asshole who can't commit to someone? I have no kids.

I be feeling with no confidence at all since I ate pussy and she didn’t make any noises any movements , I got really sad and upset and stopped even tho I try different tongue’s movements . I really need tips/ advice I seen the worst way is to poker my tongue on her but she doesn’t seem to like it flat either while moving my head

Hey all, I'm relatively new to wlw dating. I have noticed that a lot of girls want to stay friends if you end things amicably. From someone you've gone on dates and hooked up with, to someone you had a relationship spanning months - they all end things with a suggestion to stay friends. And they mean it - not just being "polite".

Is this a trend I wasn't aware of? Why do they do this? Is it really realistic to be friendly? Is it not doomed to fail the moment one of you gets a bit more serious with someone else?

I feel like the hurt is double when firstly connection doesn't progress and then secondly a friendship ends.

Can't be only one who's noticed this!

I came out earlier this year after divorcing my husband. I had a curiosity about women since i was a child and sensations of attraction emotionally, if you will, but otherwise never really found (or allowed myself to find) women's bodies attractive. I thought if I did "give it a try " I would forever be a pillow princess.........

Boy was I WRONG! I cannot believe how attracted I am to my GF. Her hips, her hair, her skin, her lips, her 🐱, her breasts, her smell, her taste, her touch, how our bodies fit together when we cuddle. How on earth did i repress so much for so long?!?! 😆 That is all. I am glad it only took me 36 years and not a minute longer. I have a lot of catching up to do! IYKYK ❤️🧡🤍🩷💜

I ran across one of my teammates (RollerDerby) on Hinge, and then again, and again (seriously she always pops up on mine)...and now I'm agonizing over whether to ask her out or if that would make things too weird, or to organize some group thing.

It's almost worse because I know it's a crush and not actual deep emotion, I don't know her super well [we're friends, but not super close]. But knowing that doesn't actually help.

Blah

Sorry, just had to vent. I'll probably delete this post tomorrow...just like I would have when I was 16.

I’m 31 years old and have spent the better part of the last year talking to someone I met on social media. She pursued me first (because of course she did). Everything was great until she stopped flirting all together but still wanted to spend hours on the phone with me every single day. I asked her if we were still on the same page feelings wise and she got defensive. Fast forward a few months later, I find out through one of her posts on her social that she has a new partner. Mind you, we were still in near constant communication. I was obviously devastated and cut contact. Two weeks went by and I was in agony (dopamine withdrawal is real) and I caved and reached out settling for just friendship. It’s been 4 months of us still being in near constant communication as just friends and I still can’t get over how hurt I am that she built something with someone else behind my back when I asked her for honesty about her feelings for me several more times and every time she just reassured me she doesn’t talk to anyone the same amount and in the same way as me.
I cut contact again yesterday in the hopes that I can actually take the time I need to heal and break the cycle. I guess I’m just here to feel less alone as a late bloomer. Having zero romantic or sexual experience at 31 makes it incredibly difficult to let this go because I am more scared than I’ve ever been that it will just never happen for me.

hey guys, this is like the most stressful post ever but i'm gonna try my best. i'm already out as queer, and have been for several years- i've had one serious girlfriend and one serious boyfriend. i'm currently with my boyfriend, but recently i've began to seriously question my sexuality. it was never a secret to me that i would've always HIGHLY preferred to end up with a woman rather than a man, but i never realised how important it was to me til recently. there's been more indicators obviously but i'll leave them out for now. how am i supposed to tell my boyfriend, one of the closest people to me, that i fear i may be a lesbian after all? i can't bear to break his heart, because i know it will. i try to picture myself marrying him (or any man) and having kids etc etc, and feeling so much regret and shame and unauthenticness. i love him, in my own way, i just don't know if i love him in the way a woman loves a man. it's all so difficult, we just moved in together why couldn't i have figured this out sooner. it's been a few months since this feeling has grown but it's also because i have started to fall for my female coworker (who obviously has feelings for me back) which has really amplified my feelings and the urgency of it all. just please, someone help me

TLDR: I’m 31 and I have two kids (small, 1 and 4 yo). I know right now is not a great time to turn my life around but I’m 100% sure I’m going to end my hetero relationship in the not-far future because of me being gay. I just know that I’m not going to stick around for the kids. It would eat me alive.

I’m not terrified of being alone and I’d rather be alone than be with a man (and especially that man) BUT nevertheless I’m wondering how am I going to date with two kids. Two boys. I see this content online about “no man household” and yet, there are and always will be two amazing, beloved men in my heart and my house - my sons. And of course there is a man that is the father who is going to be somewhat part of that ordeal.

This whole thing makes me so sad. Had I known. Or rather - had I let myself be with women like I always wanted. I did everything right growing up, I was a fucking “gold star” and yet here I am. And at the same time I don’t regret my children. I cannot imagine the world where they are not there.

But it seems like my desire to love a woman is clashing with the family I already have. I know I have to leave my male partner but at the same time I wonder if I’m just going to die alone. Or am I going to be laughing stock because of my gay awakening ending in me just being lonely.

I’m scared to face the life after coming out (I was always out somehow but like out out). I’m scared that no woman will be okay with a mother of two. I had two episiotomies for fucks sake. I know some of it is internalized sexism. My current partner is sexist and mean so that doesn’t help.

Looking forward to read your stories.

Has anyone else always known they were sexually attracted to women, and even been with women sexually, but never really allowed themselves to consider having romantic feelings for a woman until their 30s?
I’ve known I was attracted to women since I was young and have had sexual experiences with women, but for some reason, the idea of actually falling in love with a woman or being in a relationship with one was something I never really considered for myself.
I remember being in college and seeing women getting married to other women and thinking, “Good for them, but that’s not something I could ever see myself doing.” I never really questioned why I felt that way until recently.
Now I’m wondering if my religious beliefs played a bigger role in that than I realized. I grew up believing that being with a woman was a sin and that I’d go to hell for it. Even though I’ve been with women sexually, I wonder if I subconsciously drew a line between sexual attraction and actually allowing myself to fall in love with a woman. Like maybe I could acknowledge that I was attracted to women, but the idea of building a life with one felt like something I wasn’t supposed to want.
Now that I’m in my 30s and experiencing romantic feelings for a woman, I’m questioning whether those feelings were always possible for me, but I just never allowed myself to explore them.
I’m curious if anyone else has experienced something similar. Were you able to separate being sexually attracted to women from the idea of actually loving one because of your religious upbringing? And if so, how did you work through that guilt or fear? Does that feeling that it’s somehow wrong ever fully go away?

Has anyone else discovered that discovering their sexuality led to a deeper transformation than they were ready for and changed their relationship to themself? Share your journey and transformation 💖✨💫

I’ve been surprised by how much discovering my sexuality challenged me to discover what I trust and fear, what I know and deny, and what I am connected to, and disconnected from. 

When I was experiencing my body be attracted to women, there was a lot more fear hidden within me than I realized. A deep fear about being valued, supported, accepted, wanted, and safe. I learned to trust my fear more than my truth. Somewhere along the journey of life I became extremely disconnected from the truth within me in order to survive an environment that was always treating my truth as a threat or a lie.

And now I am on the path of reconnecting to the truth that lives within me and always has. I am learning to have compassion for my fear, understanding why it took the driver seat. I am also realizing that fear doesn’t have to go away, it is wise. But the truth can no longer be buried and dismissed due to fear anymore. It’s time to make enough space to include inner truth 🌊and inner connection🌳.

In the early afternoon, I went out for a walk in the neighborhood; I walked by one house that had a man shredding leaves--completely shirtless.

The moment he turned to the side, however, the first thought that came to my head was "Okay, that is WAY too much [chest] hair," and a gross feeling in my mouth.

Well Hello... This is my first post... I(28F) am married. I have been for 5 years and with him for almost 8 now. I suppise I just would like some advice maybe.... I love him. I do. He has been my person since I was 20 and we moved in very very quickly and have been together ever since.. I have Autism and Adhd as well... But...I always though because if experiences that happened to me I wasn't into intimate things much or just struggled with it... Now, we have had big moves and other changes and its been a year without any sex or anything and I'm totally fine with it.. I find that if we talk about it I just say "yeah sure" but we never do anything or I don't really find myself into it and befire I did think I was Bisexual, but I keeo being into Sapphic media and music and just about everything... I tell myself its nothing.. That I am in a slump and that's all.... I just feel guilty because he's winderful... I feel guilty because it's nit a bad life.. I feel guilty because I don't know what I am feeling and I am sort of feeling crazy. Thanks.....

It's 2001. I'm 11 years old. Josie And The Pussycats has just hit probably PPV and I'm sitting in my bedroom watching it on my little CRT TV. Josie is going on her mean Josie rant. "Who's a rockstar? I am". That's great and all, super interested in the movie, definitely... But what's that going on on the TV behind Josie?

Women in bikinis dancing with each other. Women. Wearing barely any clothing. Touching each other.

I was laser focused in on that blurry ass background TV. The scene would clip back to Melody and I'd be like, "Nonononono, wait, go back, what was Josie doing again? Let's go back to her". If you wanna know how absolutely miniscule this moment is here it is. The TV isn't visible until two minutes into this clip, and somehow I noticed this and still remember it. Every single time I have rewatched this movie over the years I have quietly acknowledged this scene to myself.

So, I'd like to know what your 20 second clip on a TV in the background of a movie moment is. That memory that is just so specifically niche that there is no possible heterosexual explanation for it.