My boyfriend would be telling me something and I’d pick up my phone halfway through. Usually work. Sometimes absolutely nothing important.

I’d say “I’m listening,” then need him to repeat the last bit.

Meanwhile I was quite pleased with myself for exercising regularly and meditating in the morning. Apparently I could sit quietly with my thoughts but couldn’t eat pasta without checking whether someone needed something.

I tried leaving the phone facedown. That just meant I had to turn it over before checking it.

What eventually helped was putting it on the charger in the hallway when we started setting the table. Same place, same moment. Laptop closed too.

The first few evenings I kept thinking of reasons to get it. A message I hadn’t answered. Something I needed to look up. I wasn’t enjoying some incredible sense of peace. I mostly wanted my phone.

But getting up from dinner to fetch it felt different from reaching beside my plate. Usually the message could wait.

I use Rootmates with two close friends for habits, but this one needed a change in the apartment. Remembering that I wanted to do it wasn’t enough while the phone was sitting there.

We still watch things on our phones together sometimes. If we need to check a train or show each other something, fine. I just don’t keep mine next to my fork anymore.

Dinner is better. I hear the whole story

In one of his lesser quoted lectures, Epictetus makes an argument that sounds almost mechanical for someone usually associated with willpower and self-discipline. He says every habit and ability gets stronger through the specific action that builds it, walking strengthens walking, writing strengthens writing, and the reverse is just as true, every time you give in to an impulse you're not just having one slip, you're adding weight to the groove that makes the next slip easier. His advice for breaking something wasn't to try harder in the moment, it was to reduce how many times the action actually happens, because repetition is the thing doing the building, not motivation. If you can't cut it out completely yet, he suggested replacing it with a competing action often enough that the new groove starts outpacing the old one. This lines up strangely well with how a lot of habit research talks about friction and repetition today, the idea that you're not fighting a craving in the moment so much as you're managing how many reps a pattern gets over time. It also reframes a single slip, it's not proof the habit won, it's just one more rep on one side of a count that's still running. What's a habit you actually managed to shift, not by wanting it more, but by just changing how often the old version got a rep in?

A lot of the replies to my earlier post were about making mornings easier: packing a bag, choosing clothes or clearing the kitchen the night before.

What interests me is how people choose that first change. If you're tired, behind on work and barely making time for yourself, several habits might sound useful. You still have to decide which one fits your situation.

I'm building Litak around that decision. You start with a Wheel of Life, rating how satisfied you feel with different areas. The AI coach can discuss your situation with you and help you choose a focus, then work out an action for the week.

For example, wanting calmer mornings could lead to packing your bag after dinner. You can put it in your planner, track whether you did it and review whether mornings actually became easier.

https://litak.io/

There's a free plan. If you try the wheel, does it help you choose what to work on first? I'd like to hear where you still get stuck.

There’s a fairly well-known idea in habit research that I keep coming back to. A vague intention, like “I’ll exercise more”, leaves the decision open every single day. You have to remember, find the time, and talk yourself into it, usually when you’re tired.

The alternative is to attach the behavior to a specific cue in advance, in the form “when X happens, I will do Y”. For example, “when I pour my morning coffee, I’ll put on my shoes and walk around the block.” Researchers call these implementation intentions, and as far as I know, studies have found that people who make plans like this follow through more often than people who just state a goal. I believe the effect was moderate to fairly large across a lot of studies, but I’d treat the exact numbers with caution.

My guess about why it works is that the plan moves the decision from the moment you need willpower to a moment when you’re calm. By the time the cue shows up, there’s nothing left to decide. The cue itself starts the behavior.

It’s also not magic. A plan for a behavior you don’t actually want to do won’t hold up. A cue that doesn’t happen reliably (like “when I feel stressed”) is easy to miss or to argue yourself out of. And a plan that’s too rigid can break the first time your routine changes, which seems to be where a lot of people give up.

So the part I find interesting is the cue. A good one seems to be something that already happens daily, is easy to notice, and is close in time to the thing you want to do.

What kinds of cues have actually held up for people here? And are there cues that sounded good on paper but kept failing?

Back in 2025, my health was suffering. I weighed about 100 kg, had pre-diabetes, and my sleep was a mess after working a job that kept me up late into the night. My circadian rhythm was completely inverted: I’d eat a full meal right before bed, wake up feeling rocky, drink coffee immediately for a quick boost, and then crash and go back to sleep.

To turn things around, I tried adopting a Huberman-inspired routine to anchor my body clock:

• Taking a morning walk every day for outdoor light (plus occasional sunset walks)
• Delaying caffeine for 90 minutes after waking
• Stopping naps 8–9 hours before bed and hot coffee 8 hours before bed
• Avoid late night snacks 2-3 hours before sleep
• Avoiding bright lights at night once my body entered its "phase delay" window (when bright light pushes your clock later)

The problem wasn't just motivation—it was remembering all of these rules and knowing when they applied. Waking up groggy and in a poor mood made starting hard. In the first few days, I literally just forgot to take my morning walk, and even when I remembered, I didn't know how long I needed to stay outside. On top of that, trying to track a 90-minute caffeine delay, calculate evening cutoffs, or figure out when my circadian phases actually shifted each day was a losing battle.

To make the routine adaptable to real life, I changed three things:

1. Making the first step effortless: I started setting out my walking shoes and clothes the night before so they were waiting for me the second I got out of bed.
2. Habit stacking with things I enjoy: Instead of treating the routines like chores, I paired them with rewards. I saved my favorite podcast for my morning walks, and before bed, I started stretching while burning lavender incense oil. That made my pre-bedtime routine so relaxing that I actually looked forward to going to bed.
3. Offloading the timing and circadian math: To stop relying on memory and guesswork, I coded a simple Proof of Concept (POC) app for myself that calculated my daily phases and nudged me at the right moments (I’ll share more about how it works at the bottom if anyone is interested).

Once those pieces were in place, the habits finally stuck:

• ~3 days in: Better morning mood and noticeably more alertness after walking—a contrast that became obvious on days I skipped it.
• ~2 weeks in: Much better daytime energy and sleep, naturally shifting my bedtime and wake time earlier. My Oura sleep scores, which used to sit around 60–70, now land mostly in the 80s and sometimes 90s.
• ~1 month in: Noticeably less hunger in the morning and throughout the day.
• ~6 months in: I lost about 40 kg (~88 lbs) while keeping my usual 3–4 weekly workouts alongside the new walks.

The science behind why this worked: Fixing my body clock changed both my sleep and my weight because light controls our daily hormones. Morning sunlight triggers a healthy rise in cortisol to wake you up naturally and helps it taper off by bedtime. On the flip side, your eyes get much more sensitive to light after sundown—so bright light during your evening "phase delay" window blocks your sleep hormone (melatonin) and causes nighttime cortisol spikes that keep you wired. When your sleep and cortisol are thrown off, your body cranks up your hunger hormone (ghrelin) and drops your fullness hormone (leptin). Fixing my light timing and cutting out that late-night meal quieted my constant cravings and made eating less feel effortless.

For anyone interested in the POC I built:

Sometimes sticking to a habit is just about getting a gentle nudge at the right time. I built my personal tool around the exact friction points that tripped me up. It calculates your circadian phases so you know when—and how long—to get morning light, using a built-in lux meter to check outdoor brightness while tracking your walk.

To take the mental math out of the rest of the day, it puts a Live Activity right on your Lock Screen that updates as your day unfolds. Instead of memorizing a dozen cutoffs, you get a persistent visual cue for each daily timing window—including when to start or cut off caffeine, when to exercise, when to stop eating, and when to dim the lights and wind down. Once I saw how much it helped me stay consistent, I polished it and released it on iOS as "Rhythm: Better Sleep & Energy".

For those of you stacking multiple habits across the day, what’s your favorite way to pair a difficult habit with something enjoyable so it actually sticks?

“Get ready for tomorrow” can quietly turn into “fix the entire house”... which is quite a job for a Tuesday evening 🙂

A clearer finish line might help. Instead of “sort the family schedule,” try “check tomorrow’s fixed appointments and agree who’s handling the pickup.” Instead of “tidy the drawing table,” try “put the pencils back and leave one clear space for the next person.”

The bit I like is deciding what doesn’t belong in that routine, too. Noticing a drawer needs sorting doesn’t mean it has to become part of putting the pencils away. Add it to a separate list if it matters, then let the original job be finished.

I run Useful Little Otter, a family and home printables shop. This is just a household routine idea—no download or purchase needed.

What’s a clear finish line for one of your everyday household jobs?

Journaling every morning was the habit I dropped most. Some mornings I'd wake up rushed or tired, tell myself I'd do it later, and later never came. For a long time I figured I just didn't have enough discipline.

Looking back, I think the issue was that willpower and excitement run out fast, usually in the first 2-3 days. My plan only worked on good days, and that's what failed. So I stopped counting on motivation and tried a different setup. Three things helped.

First, I gave every habit a tiny version that takes under 2 minutes, and I kept the full version for good days. For journaling, the tiny version was one sentence. On rushed mornings I wrote that and moved on, and it stopped me from thinking "I've already blown it, so why bother." I did the same with my phone: ideally no phone for the last 10 minutes before bed, and on bad nights I just left it face-down for the last 2 minutes.

Second, I tied the habit to something I already did without thinking. The formula is "After I [thing I already do], I will [new habit]." Mine ended up as "after I make my tea, I write one sentence." I didn't have to remember or feel like it, because making the tea was the reminder.

Third, I made a backup plan for the days that go wrong, and I made it ahead of time. Mine was "if I wake up rushed, I write one sentence and that's it," so I didn't have to decide in the moment whether I felt like it. I also had a rule never to skip two days in a row. If I missed a day, I did only the tiny version the next day and didn't try to make up for it.

Which habit do you keep dropping?

It’s easy to design a routine around the person you are on a rested Sunday.
Then Tuesday happens. Work runs late. Dinner needs making. You have fifteen minutes and very little patience.
That’s the version of your day worth planning for too.
Give a habit two versions:
Regular version: Read ten pages.
Reduced version: Read one paragraph.
Or:
Regular version: Spend fifteen minutes writing.
Reduced version: Write one sentence about the day.
Decide ahead of time when the reduced version applies. That saves you from negotiating with yourself when you’re already tired.
One paragraph won’t accomplish everything ten pages would. It can still make returning to the habit feel manageable.
If you keep needing the reduced version, take that as information. The regular version may need a different time, a smaller target, or fewer competing commitments.
And sometimes you’ll miss both. Plan your next opportunity instead of turning the miss into a verdict.
Which habit would benefit from a realistic bad-day version?

I have big goals for my career, health, fitness, and personal growth, but I struggle to stay consistent. I waste hours scrolling on my phone, procrastinate on important tasks, and often stay up late trying to compensate for an unproductive day.
I keep making plans, but following them consistently is the hard part.
For those who successfully built lasting habits, what actually worked for you? What specific changes helped you become consistent, stop procrastinating, and stick to a routine even when you weren’t motivated?

The idea is simple: we all pick the same day. When it's Friday night and every part of you wants just one beer, everyone in the group is on that same Friday. Same cravings, same bad sleep, same awkward "why aren't you drinking?" at dinner.

How it works:

1. Comment "in" below (and how much you drink, if you want)

2. I'll set up a small group chat and DM you the invite

3. Between now and Monday we get to know each other and prep

4. On Monday we all stop. Then we check in every day and help each other through the first weeks

If a lot of people join, I'll split us into smaller groups so nobody gets lost in the noise. Everyone still quits on the same day.

One important thing: if you drink heavily every day, talk to a doctor before stopping. Quitting alcohol suddenly can be dangerous, unlike most other habits.

No experts here, just people who want to stop and would rather not white-knuckle it alone.

Who's in?

I've played piano for years, but practising regularly was always the hard part. Habit apps never stuck for me. They lived in their own app, separate from everything else I had going on, so I'd forget to open them.
What finally worked was putting my habits right next to my to-dos and calendar, in one view of my week. When I plan my week, I can see where practice actually fits. And at the end of the week, I can see honestly how I did.
I'm a designer, and I built this for myself over the last year or so of late nights and weekends. It's called WeekOS. Here's how it handles habits:
Habits sit in your week view, next to your to-dos and calendar.
Each habit has stats, so you can see your progress over time.
Every Monday it can archive last week, if you want it to, so you start fresh instead of staring at what you missed.
It works with Apple Health, so your workouts can count too.
I'd love to hear how you all keep habits going. Do you track them by the day, or by the week?
If you want to try it, it's on the App Store for iPhone, iPad and Mac: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/weekos-weekly-planner/id6752861015

A lot of people try to push through the afternoon energy dip with energy drinks, sugary snacks, or sheer willpower. The habits that actually work usually take less than five minutes and focus on changing physical state. Stepping outside to get natural daylight on your eyes, doing a few minutes of slow nasal breathing, or just drinking a large cup of warm water instead of another espresso. What is the low effort mid day habit you rely on to reset your focus?

Hey everyone!

Have you ever wondered how much your daily habits actually influence your health?

I've been asking myself that question for a while. Personally, I want to stay healthy for as long as possible and understand what really works best for my body.

That's what inspired me to create PSIA.

At first glance, it looks like another habit tracker. You can create routines, plan your day, and track your progress.

But here's what makes it different:

PSIA aims to connect your habits with your health data, helping you understand how your daily choices might influence your well-being. It also uses AI to suggest personalized improvements based on your progress.

I'm currently looking for people who would genuinely like to test this idea.

If you're interested, leave a comment or send me a DM! I'll send you a free TestFlight invitation.

I'd love to hear whether you think this could actually help you build healthier habits!

As a thank-you, early beta testers will receive lifetime Pro access completely free — no subscription fees, ever!

I'm building tools around habits. Before I go any further, I want to understand the real reasons people struggle to stick with them, not what I assume the reasons are.

So I’m curious:

• What’s a habit you’ve tried to build and couldn’t keep?
• What actually got in the way?
• Have you tried apps, trackers, or anything else? What worked, and what didn’t?

You can answer in the comments, DM me, or do a quick 15–20 minute call if you’d rather talk it through.

I’m not selling or linking anything. I just want to build something people can actually use, and that starts with listening.

One of the easiest ways to build a habit is to focus solely on keeping the streak alive.

It’s called Don’t Break the Chain and works like this:

1. Pick one thing you want to do consistently. It could be exercising, reading, writing, meditating, learning a language, or anything else that matters to you.
2. Every day you complete it, mark an X on your calendar or tracker.
3. Keep going. As the days turn into weeks and the Xs form a chain, your only job is to avoid breaking it.

The method is often associated with comedian Jerry Seinfeld, who is said to have used a calendar to track his daily writing. But the real power isn't in the calendar, it's in making your progress visible.

You don't have to rely on motivation every day, you just have to show up and get your X.

If you like the idea and want somewhere to put it into practice, I've been bringing r/dontbreakthechain back to life as a community for exactly this purpose.

We've got a built-in habit tracker and daily accountability threads where you can share what you're working on, record your progress, celebrate your wins, and get back on track when things don't go to plan.

You're welcome to join us!