r/genderfluid • u/galvanian • 43m ago
Hey, I think I’m genderfluid
Im like more less 70% sure, idk if it is dysphoria or something, but I just identified that sometimes I dissociate from being a man and kinda start disliking being a man and start wanting to be a woman instead of wishing I was born as a woman, but also there is some times I think I want to stay as a man, sometimes under the thought that I like to have a flat chest and I would actually miss it if I had boobs and no way to go back.
I’m a femboy and I’ve been a femboy since I was 18, I’m 20 now, and dressing feminine kinda helped me realize that I might be some percentage of genderfluid, I grew up as a man, and my problem is that normally I hate masculinity, most men around me are a bunch of assholes, so there comes my other dilemma, I sometimes feel like a boy but want to be feminine, and sometimes I would like to be a girl or maybe think about it, but I never want to be masculine unless I was a masculine girl, but I just don’t like masculinity and it gives me a lot of dysphoria.
Although I’m still kinda learning how to identify my gender identity and try to understand when the changes happen, and I’ve identified signals but I’m still not sure how they work.
Also been wondering if I could maybe do an HRT in the future, not to become a girl but more like look kinda androgynous so it would be easier to pass.
Also I don’t know if it is because of some kind of internalized transphobia I have but I just don’t know how to identify what pronouns I should use or how to tell someone that I want certain pronouns. For now I just conformed to putting in my profiles that my pronouns are he/she or any, so people can just choose, I’ve already saw some people talking to me using she/her pronouns which kinda feels good.
Also I don’t know at what grade of female I reach because I may not identify fully as a girl when it happens but more like a Demigirl, also I noticed that the changes syncronize with my want to dress feminine and like I sometimes feel so good in femboy clothing but sometimes I just don’t want to put them on.
I know that this is long but I kinda wanted to let it all out and like I also wanted to get advice cause I don’t really know much about being genderfluid