Son of a bitch, Stolas. That bird puss used to DRIIPPP at the sound of my van pulling up.
Where’s that horned-up owl that used to be all over me with that flirty dirty talk?

😭💀 Y’all really waking up every day just to complain about a game using AI that costs 5$ 💀 Meanwhile I donated $4,000 to the game’s AI because THIS GAME IS GOATED 🐐🔥 Y’all hate for free, I support greatness for $4K 😭🙏 Broke, jobless, and unemployed people arguing with pixels while I’m funding the future 💀💸 GET A JOB, GET SOME MONEY, AND LET THE DEVS COOK 🗣️🔥

This includes putting toilet paper on the seat and "wiping" it down. You're not doing anything to improve it. Imagine the amount of paper that could be saved. Just be a grown up and sit down on the damn toilet seat. They're not any more gross than the phone you're holding right now. Plus, it adds a collective human touch and sense of community knowing that we're all human, and have to sit and do business. Lol

Imagine you're having dinner with Jay-Z and your thot daughter shows up with her bisexual boyfriend, the waiter brings a skinnylicious menu but she's wearing polyester so she's cancelled, how many biracial people would win in a fight against 6-7 Labubus if they're autistic? But you can only choose between the man and the bear unless fine shyt clocks your tea.

I was hanging out at a friend's place with a few other friends and his cat showed up. Everyone started making a fuss over it, as one does, except for one friend who said he was silly and that his face looked like a "big mosquito with down syndrome". Everyone started scolding him, saying that the joke was deeply offensive. One explained that he was trying to be funny simply by mashing together two completely unrelated, edgy concepts to create shock value. But I just couldn't help to question this and think... "No! It is funny!" It's surrealist humor, touching into the Lovecraftian and unknown bounds of ludic expression. Isn't this what humor is all about? To go beyond? To infinity and beyond?

(insert whatever message you think is funny here )

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Kindly provide the nearest authorities any information that could lead to this user's execution. FBI OFFICIAL STATEMENT: do not engange with user at all cost REPETITION: do NOT engange with user at all cost. Their larp is too powerful)

Donald duck

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​

My husband has committed an offence against marriage and I need the public to know.

He announces that he’s hungry and *really* wants something with burrata. Fine. Loving wife that I am, I make him a beautiful plate — whole burrata, salad, everything.

As I’m making myself one, he goes: “Oh no, I can’t eat a whole burrata.”

So, naturally, I think fine, I’ll just share his. I DON’T MAKE MYSELF ONE.

This man then takes the plate and proceeds to absolutely stuff his face. Eats ALL the salad. Eats ALL the stracciatella — you know, the glorious creamy middle of the burrata that is literally THE ENTIRE POINT and the bit I was planning to dip the salad into.

And what does he leave his wife?

HALF. THE. BURRATA. SKIN.

Just the sad mozzarella carcass.

I am genuinely furious because I was looking forward to that bloody burrata, my salad was completely unsatisfying without it, and I have now spent the last hour eating random stupid food even though I’m not hungry because I DIDN’T GET THE THING I ACTUALLY WANTED.

This is amateur boyfriend behaviour. Rookie level. You have a WIFE. You should know better.

There is another burrata in the fridge but that is absolutely not the point.

The trust is gone.

What the actual fuck is wrong with this god damn dungeon. The blue wizrobe enemies act like retards and spam their stupid ass attack the moment you step in front of them draining your health for even trying to attack them. The item you get from the dungeon the magic rod does jack and shit against the wizrobes too, which makes this dungeon even more god damn stupid. The beams they shoot out deal a whole heart of damage which shouldn't be bad but when there's so many in one room it makes them fucking stupidly hard to deal with. The magic shield can block these beams but the slob that is the likelike eats it the moment you get hit by them. It wouldn't have been so hard to deal with them if they weren't god damn damage sponges that soak up all the attacks you do. I literally blasted these guys with the magic rod and it didn't do shit, immediately afterwards I get ganked by wizrobes and their fucking cartel. I'm not sure if I missed any upgrades like the red ring, but I definitely didn't miss the magic sword which I couldn't even pick up. Why the FUCK couldn't I get a sword upgrade on the dungeon where I'm obviously too weak to deal with the fucking enemies in them. And also what the hell is the deal with the enemies not having a weakness, they completely ignore the boomerang and arrows, likelikes and blue wizrobes take little to no damage to bombs and the magic rod isn't even worth using. Every time you die or restart your save file in this game your health is set to 3 hearts which is fucking stupid. Why on gods green earth are you put at your weakest after dying for fuck's sake I'm on LEVEL 6. THIS ISN'T LEVEL ONE I NEED MY STRENGTH FOR THIS FUCKING DUNGEON. It makes it all the more worse that successfully killing any of these bastards doesn't reward you any hearts or bombs when you need them the most, if your enemy is gonna be this god damn annoying to deal with AT LEAST make it confirm a heart drop. I didn't remember that I can save at full health and just reload the save every time I died, but that's fucking stupid, I'm not doing that shit when I die. The level design isn't bad the dungeon itself looks like a fetus to me which is pretty eerie, to get to the boss (which is WEAKER THAN EVERY ENEMY IN THE DUNGEON) you have to find a hole in the wall in a room that's away from the boss room to take a stairwell to another room across the level where you can actually get to the boss. The enemy placement though is retarded as hell, the game's acting like you can deal with these stupid ass teleporting wizrobes with these likelikes trapping you in place all while the electric enemy stops you from being able to use your sword. There is a line between challenging and genuine unfairness and this fuckass dungeon crossed the line at mach speed. Before finding the power bracelet I found level 7 and level 9 before I could even find level 6. While looking I could not find anything else, no heart containers, no special shops, which makes my exploration of this game feel wasted because of the straight asinine bullshit I had to go through in level 6.

I’d like to share the dream I had last night.

Patty was visiting my neighborhood for some influencer promo reason I don’t know and stopped by the park where she met me and two friends. Friendly banter and casual conversation ensued at the event and after much discussion and laughter, we agreed on a competition:

Patty would try to knock each of us out, one by one, with headscissors, headlocks, and chokeholds etc. No mercy, no holding back. Whoever lasted the longest without tapping out would get an hour alone with her in our bedroom for each minute we lasted, with Patty starting topless in a tiny black thong, for anything at all.

There was one caveat - I didn’t tell anyone that I’d experienced this type of play before, and had built some tolerance over the course of my sessions with muscular dommes. ;) I also requested to go last, so I’d know what times to beat.

Anyway, fast forward — I won by lasting 5 mins and 12 seconds, beating my friends’ marks of 3:12 and 3:07. What did I ask for when Patty and I got up to the bedroom you might wonder?

That’s obvious: Her fiercest pegging fuckdown.

Farmgirl Patty came prepared with a massive boybreaker bussywrecker strap-on, maybe 10 inches in length, and with a girthy, hot pink cock + a shiny black leather harness. She called it Patricia’s Badass Bussy Blaster and asked if I was ready for cardio…and butthole day. Ofc I said I was.

So Patty tore me up. Roughly.

It hurt quite a bit at first. My butthole felt filled, taken, and fully owned. My prostate got thrust-spammed by Patricia in Mating Press and every other position. :)

She started to sweat from how hard she was dicking me down, and I remember grabbing tightly onto her strong hips, firm buttocks, and athletic, sinewy back and thinking: “She is the alpha. Patty is my daddy, even though she’s not natty. My butthole’s her workout.”

So that was that.

Check this out.

A friend of mine on Facebook just recently posted something that, he actually references a scientific paper, which is Clark et al 2024. And if it's too small to read, here's what it says. "The difference is testosterone. Folks with high testosterone (males) generally elevate truth over consensus and fairness. Those with low testosterone (females) generally elevate consensus and fairness over truth."

I thought this was funny and it made me realize there actually might be a hormonal reason that I have this particular issue. I know this is TMI but I actually have abnormally high testosterone and so this helped me at least realize there might be a reason for why I do what I do and how I think and that made me feel a little bit better.

Like, I had 8 CPS, how am I slow, bro. Like, you see eight, the number "8", represents 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. And then CPS stands fer... Clicks per second... **Thump** And then "Testmode" stands for... There... Is. Something that might, only do... extravaganza...... Formenting Ramification of Minecraft, 11 percent. So, it doesn't really make sense why I'm dying here.