Advice on getting ready to say bye

[u/Mean_Interest4942]

I’ve never posted here and i hate that i’m writing this as my first post.

This is my sweet boy, Teddy. He came home to me as a kitten when i was around 13. He is the first pet i had that was mine, as much as a pet could be mine at that age. We grew up together. It’s been ten years and he’s been the best friend a girl could have. he’s even gotten better with age. Each year he’s become sweeter, more cuddly, and smarter. He knows when i’ve slept in too much and comes on the bed to cuddle and ask for pets until im awake enough to get up. He’s the best alarm clock I could ever ask for. He’s been the best friend, especially when i didn’t feel like i had many others.

A few weeks ago i made a vet appointment for him after he started coughing. i’m not sure how long this had been going on before i took notice because in the month before i had been helping my mom prep for surgery then out of town helping my grandma transition to hospice before she passed away. The vet was concerned enough to order an x-ray which showed one definite mass on his lung with another one possible. we were able to get an appointment with the oncologist the following week and they shared the same opinion with the vet that it was likely carcinoma. They did a needle aspirate biopsy to confirm the diagnosis. We got the call a few days ago, confirmed cancer. They also found that he has swelling in either his stomach or small intestine that could be the location of the primary cancer that then spread to his lungs.

I’m so sad. Based on my conversation with the specialist vet the outlook isn’t great. We could try chemo but they aren’t sold on its effectiveness. Surgery wouldn’t be worth it because it already seems to have spread. Most of the options we have are hospice care. I know cats are extremely good at hiding pain but, other than the coughing, which happens maybe twice a week for less than a minute, he’s acting totally normal. It’s hard to grasp how sick he is with such little change in him.

I’m looking for advice in a few things:
- If you’ve experienced anything similar, what can i expect?
- I don’t want him to suffer, and as much as i want him here as long as possible i don’t want him to live in pain. How can i make sure im keeping him comfortable?
- I’m having so much trouble imagining not having him, if anyone has any suggestions on how to cope please let me know.
-i’d love some recommendations on how to make his last months special for him and how to make the most of this time. I want to make as many memories to have once he’s gone as possible.

Thank you for taking the time to read, please give your pets a little extra love for me and teddy 💕

[u/JesNycRoq]

Iam so sorry you are having to go through this. It is never easy if you know or don’t know when you are going to say goodbye

I am now a cat momma. I wasn’t before.
I use to have a big fat beautiful black lab.
I had her from a puppy to the end of her life. She was my ride or die. We moved from CA to MO together she was my only constant. I had no friends or family in this new place.

When I tell you I’d do anything for her I’m telling the truth. She hurt herself once. And she refused to go up the stairs. I slept with her in the garage so she wasn’t alone with spiders. I spent thousands of dollars to make sure she had the best quality of life.

She started swelling up one day. Instantly to the vet. She had fluid on her rib cage. They drained it and requested that I go to my regular vet. She got X-rays. And it was not good. There was nothing I could do. They gave me options and the risks that came with those options. everything. Nothing was going to allow her to have a good quality of life.

At that point. I was thinking. Was me keeping her around for me or for her. Not in a million years did I think I was saying goodbye to her that day. My best friend. My everything. My reason to work hard so I could give her a better life. Everything. I slept with her collar for a month. I thought I heard her at my home for weeks. I cried non-stop. I lost a huge part of my life.

She is the reason I’m a cat momma now.
And I honestly think when I have to say goodbye to my Mufasa babe I’m not gonna have a single pet. One of each. I love him just as much as her.

They aren’t pets. They are legitimately my family.

It will not be easy. If you proceed with treatment or not. I will tell you……you will day dream a lot. You will cry randomly. You will see something sweet and be reminded. It has been 4 years and I cried for her two days ago.

I ended up cremating her. I bought myself a solid gold urn necklace off Etsy with her name on it. I had someone etch her paw print into gold pendant. And I got a gold rose made . I wear it every single day. To me we still go on adventures.

If you can find something that gives you peace jump in. For me that is my necklace.

You will reminisce. They are not bad. But they will hurt.