Advice on getting ready to say bye

[u/Mean_Interest4942]

I’ve never posted here and i hate that i’m writing this as my first post.

This is my sweet boy, Teddy. He came home to me as a kitten when i was around 13. He is the first pet i had that was mine, as much as a pet could be mine at that age. We grew up together. It’s been ten years and he’s been the best friend a girl could have. he’s even gotten better with age. Each year he’s become sweeter, more cuddly, and smarter. He knows when i’ve slept in too much and comes on the bed to cuddle and ask for pets until im awake enough to get up. He’s the best alarm clock I could ever ask for. He’s been the best friend, especially when i didn’t feel like i had many others.

A few weeks ago i made a vet appointment for him after he started coughing. i’m not sure how long this had been going on before i took notice because in the month before i had been helping my mom prep for surgery then out of town helping my grandma transition to hospice before she passed away. The vet was concerned enough to order an x-ray which showed one definite mass on his lung with another one possible. we were able to get an appointment with the oncologist the following week and they shared the same opinion with the vet that it was likely carcinoma. They did a needle aspirate biopsy to confirm the diagnosis. We got the call a few days ago, confirmed cancer. They also found that he has swelling in either his stomach or small intestine that could be the location of the primary cancer that then spread to his lungs.

I’m so sad. Based on my conversation with the specialist vet the outlook isn’t great. We could try chemo but they aren’t sold on its effectiveness. Surgery wouldn’t be worth it because it already seems to have spread. Most of the options we have are hospice care. I know cats are extremely good at hiding pain but, other than the coughing, which happens maybe twice a week for less than a minute, he’s acting totally normal. It’s hard to grasp how sick he is with such little change in him.

I’m looking for advice in a few things:
- If you’ve experienced anything similar, what can i expect?
- I don’t want him to suffer, and as much as i want him here as long as possible i don’t want him to live in pain. How can i make sure im keeping him comfortable?
- I’m having so much trouble imagining not having him, if anyone has any suggestions on how to cope please let me know.
-i’d love some recommendations on how to make his last months special for him and how to make the most of this time. I want to make as many memories to have once he’s gone as possible.

Thank you for taking the time to read, please give your pets a little extra love for me and teddy 💕

[u/pyates1]

Please listen carefully to your vet, they will tell you when it is time. Perhaps subtly but you have to ask clearly for help.

Teddy looks my old friend Dan. He passed a year ago and I'm getting misty typing this. Its going to suck, and suck hard but you can't let your friend suffer.

If you can, do a home euthanasia. Have a creamy tube while he sits in your lap and make that both of your last memory of being together.

In regards to now, maybe take a few days off with him prior. Expect lots of crying and hugs.

4 months ago, we bought a pair of brothers. The breeder called us two days after and the last brother was crying looking for his brothers. Now we have three siamese. We talk to them about Dan and love them madly. They are referred to as the goblins and we have built them a beautiful catio. All the while missing Dan terribly.

Enjoy today, I am so sorry for what you have to endure.