I know people would kill for this opportunity in this market, so please don't judge me too harshly. I just feel sick to my stomach and really need an outside sanity check.

I’ve been a senior specialist on my team for three years. I'm one of the only women in our department, and when our manager left last month, leadership immediately started nudging me to step up. The formal offer finally came yesterday: a 12% salary bump to become people manager.

The problem is, I know exactly what this job actually is. I watched my previous boss drown in 8 hours of back-to-back meetings every day, answering Slack at midnight, and having panic attacks in teh supply closet. On top of that, as a woman in this department, I already spend half my energy fending off being turned into the "team mom" who plans birthdays and mediates egos. I love my actual technical work. A 12% raise does not cover doing emotional triage 50 hours a week.

When I politely declined and said I wanted to stay on the individual contributor track, my director’s face went completely cold. He sighed and literally asked me, "If you're refusing to grow here, are you even committed to this team?"

now I’m sitting at my desk feeling terrified. Did I just torpedo my entire reputation by refusing to be their caretaker?

I'm 30 and left my previous company two years ago after working there for almost five years. My manager was actually a decent guy and taught me a lot, but there was no room to move up.

I joined a smaller logistics company, got promoted to operations manager earlier this year and things have been going well. Better salary, finally saving some money and I like the people I work with.

We're currently hiring a senior coordinator and my director sent me the shortlisted applicants since I'll be managing whoever gets hired.

My old manager is one of them.

I know his company had layoffs recently so I understand why he's looking. He's got more experience than me and would probably be great at the job. But the idea of supervising someone who used to approve my vacation requests feels pretty strange.

We haven't spoken since I left and I have no idea if he even knows I'm working here.

Should I tell my director about our history and stay out of the interviews, or just treat him like any other candidate? Has anyone actually ended up managing their former boss?

I'm 29 and work in purchasing for a regional building supply company. I joined about 9 months ago because their senior buyer was planning to retire at the end of this year. The plan was for me to learn their suppliers, contracts and ordering systems before eventually taking over.

Last week she announced she's postponing retirement for at least another 3 years. She's great at her job and I get why she wants to stay, but it completely changes what I signed up for.

I asked my manager what this means for my position and he said they still see me taking over eventually, just not anytime soon. There's no other senior buyer position available either.

I left a decent job for this opportunity because I thought it was a clear step forward. I've got some money saved so I'm not under pressure to make a quick decision, but spending another 3 years waiting for a position that might not even open up sounds ridiculous.

Would you start applying elsewhere now or stick around and see if something changes? I've only been here 9 months so I'm also worried about how leaving this quickly would look.

I moved states about 10 weeks ago, beforehand it was cleared with my manager and his supervisor (C-level) was informed by me before I left. Turns out the company can't employ people in my state, so I have to be let go. This is fine, I understand. Sucks I got no warning but this is pretty unsurprising knowing my manager and shit happens, have to move on.

However they have me marked that I effectively abandoned the job. I've reached out to HR to at least have it changed to that I was terminated without cause, but they won't budge. I am worried this will affect my ability to claim unemployment.

Do I just file and try to appeal if it is denied? Reach out to an employment lawyer?

Was listening to a recruiter the other day, they mentioned that staying in a job too long is just as bad if not worse then job hopping.

Being the guy who’s “worked here 20 years” is a giant red flag just as much as someone who’s had 3 jobs in one year.

The argument was if you try to apply to an external organization they will see you as someone who got lazy / complacent or stopped trying as much to advance yourself, or even worse that your just an old dog and they can’t teach you any new tricks.

Their guidance was you need a change at least every 3-5 years max, because being the “lifer” is just hurting your career.

About 6 months in to a remote job and am feeling somewhat depressed and confused with my life trajectory. I also am finding myself increasingly disillusioned with the typical American vision of life. Curious if others have gone through somewhat of a similar trajectory after taking a remote position.

I know how privileged I am to have a remote job, but it has been surprising to me how much more unmotivated I have become. I can’t figure out mentally if the depression and lack of motivation is stemming from remote work vs just having my eyes more open to how (in my opinion) the American model and typical definors of success (house, car, debt, suburbs, prestigious job) are so ridiculous and how deeply ingrained the brainwashing really is.

Anyway, curious if others have been through something similar?

​

Me (30M) and my girlfriend (28F)

My girlfriend and I have been together for five years, and we've been living with her parents for the past couple of years. Her family treats me very well. They cook for us and don't ask for anything in return other than that I take care of their daughter. I've offered to contribute financially many times, but they've politely declined. Instead, I help out with driving, chores, and other things, and I buy them gifts to show my appreciation.

Recently, I was offered a potential opportunity by a journeyman to join the IBEW electrical union in a few months, when the company expects to hire more people.

For context, getting into the electrical union could be a significant career opportunity. I'd start as an apprentice, taking an initial $6/hour pay cut compared to what I currently make. However, once I reach journeyman status, the pay is around $50/hour on the paycheck, plus benefits and pension, with a total compensation package of approximately $85/hour. I don't expect to earn as much in my current job, even five years from now.

The main downside is that my current job provides me with a company car and covers its expenses. If I take the union opportunity, I'd need to buy my own car and cover the associated costs. My girlfriend is against the idea because she doesn't think we can afford to maintain our current lifestyle without the company car, especially with the initial pay cut.

She's also expressed resentment about the support her family has given me, since that support has played a big part in helping me get where I am today. I understand where she's coming from, and I don't want to seem ungrateful toward her or her family.

From my perspective, the temporary financial sacrifice would be an investment in our future. I believe the higher earning potential, benefits, and pension would put us in a much better position in the long run, and that we'd make up the difference within a couple of years.

From her perspective, though, we're risking the financial stability and lifestyle we currently enjoy for something that isn't guaranteed. Potentially adding more weight on her shoulders

I love my girlfriend, and she's a great partner who treats me very well. Her family has been wonderful to me, too. I don't want this disagreement to damage our relationship, but we've been having increasingly heated arguments about it.

Am I being shortsighted about the financial risks, or is it reasonable to make a temporary sacrifice for better long-term prospects? How would you approach this disagreement with your partner?

TL;DR: I've been offered a potential path into the IBEW electrical union that would mean an initial pay cut and losing my company car, but could significantly improve my long-term income and retirement benefits. My girlfriend doesn't support the move because she's worried we can't afford our current lifestyle without the car. We've been arguing about it, and I'm unsure how to move forward without damaging our relationship.

About 6 months ago I went for a senior role in my immediate team. The general business I work in is pretty small and this is pretty much my only path upwards. I have experience at this level, just in a different industry so it seemed fitting for me to move into it as I did some time in this industry now at a lower level.

By all means this role seemed suited for me… my boss himself even said “you can probably take their role when they leave” only a few months before they left. I got a really good annual review as well.

Then the job came up, I applied, and my boss didn’t even interview me… just said no with no reason even when I asked, multiple times.

For 6 months I was doing the senior role, and my own role, as I waited for the new hire to start… my boss spent a few months negotiating the contract and in the end offered to pay a full relocation package for him and his wife.

Finally, the new senior person has started and it’s become abundantly clear they bring nothing more to the table vs me. I’m now getting senior management asking me “why i didn’t apply” or saying “I really hope they promote you soon” but my boss has said he won’t and I have to leave companies or wait for the new person to leave until I get promoted…

I’m really struggling with how to get over the anger I have with this situation and also struggling to work with the new hire seamlessly… he’s done nothing wrong, but in my mind he represents what I worked hard for and it’s become clear since he started that my boss wants to “showcase” him off to everyone to prove his worth and in turn is giving me all the meaningless and behind the scenes work…

Any advice?

I'm genuinely curious on how AI wouldn't take most jobs in the white collar space. I feel like everyone can see how it would take like entry level jobs but I don't see a reason it wouldn't take higher up jobs as well. For example recently my brother had an accounting problem regarding his business he's starting and he got a quote from a company for $4,000. He then had ChatGPT look at the problem and was able to fix it after a few prompts. I'm not saying every job is going to be replaced by AI but I don't see how a lot of white collar industries will survive over time if something that is 100x smarter than us and barely incorrect will be able to do any job. not to mention this is the worst that this technology is right now and is only getting better. I'm 21M and trying to figure out how to choose my career with AI as a threat.

I live in Europe, and I was recently let go just a few days before the end of my 6-month probation period.

I was working as a Data Analyst in a fairly demanding role. My manager explained that I lacked ownership and business understanding, which were important for the position.

I switched careers and taught myself data analytics, as my academic background is in a different field, so I don't have a lot of professional experience yet. I also had very little experience in the specific industry, which made it difficult to develop the level of business understanding and ownership they expected within just six months. Looking back, I feel I probably needed more time to get there.

I was able to deliver work, and I received very positive feedback about my professionalism, work ethic, and character. However, my manager explained that the role required someone with more experience who could take ownership of projects and report directly to the CEO. He also admitted that he hadn't fully reflected the level of experience required in the original job advertisement and that he should have included more requirements. He didn't have enough time to provide the level of guidance I needed, either.

What I find difficult to understand is why they kept me until just a few days before the end of the probation period instead of letting me go earlier. I had performance discussions with my manager during my first and third months. He mentioned that I needed to improve my ownership, and although I genuinely tried to work on it, I guess my progress wasn't enough.

I'm struggling quite a bit emotionally because I genuinely liked the job. The working environment was great, the salary was good, I was learning a lot, and I had a very good relationship with my manager. I didn't expect things to end this way, especially so close to the end of the probation period.

I'm also worried about my future. It took me a long time to find this opportunity, and now I'm afraid I won't be able to find another relevant position. I put a lot of effort into switching careers and getting my foot in the door, so this feels like a major setback.

For those who have experienced something similar, I'd really appreciate your perspective:

• Why would a company wait until the very end of the probation period to let someone go, especially if there were concerns from the first few months?
• Was this mainly a mismatch between my experience level and the role, or should I take it as a sign that I need to improve significantly as a Data Analyst?
• How can I use this experience to improve and find a role that's a better fit for my current level?
• Most importantly, how do you deal with the disappointment and fear of having to start over after working so hard to get an opportunity?

I know setbacks are part of a career, but right now I feel overwhelmed and very sad. I'd appreciate any honest advice or personal experiences that might help me put things into perspective.

Honestly, I have no idea what steps to take career-wise, and I could really use some outside perspective.

I originally went to school planning to pursue an MD/PhD and was actually accepted into a program, but ultimately decided against it because I didn’t have the support system I needed at the time and was intimidated by the length of the commitment.
Looking back, I feel like I let uncertainty and fear talk me out of a lot of things I genuinely wanted to pursue. Now I’m struggling to figure out what I actually want to do and what career would make me at least somewhat happy.

A few paths I’ve considered:
Law school: I find law really interesting, especially environmental and health law. However, I know so many unhappy lawyers, and the cost of law school makes me hesitant.
A PhD: I genuinely enjoyed doing research and would love to earn a doctorate, but I have no idea what field I’d pursue. I’m also worried about investing years into a degree only to struggle financially afterward.
Medical school: I would love to become a physician, but I want to start a family within the next two years, and I’m not sure how realistic that timeline would be alongside medical school and residency.
Physician assistant: This seems like it could be a good fit, but getting the required patient care hours while working full-time in my current job feels difficult.
Staying in finance or pivoting to another area: I currently work in financial operations, specifically Fed settlements. I really dislike the repetitive, manual nature of the work and know I don’t want to stay in this type of role long-term.
At the end of the day, I want a career that pays well, offers a good work-life balance, and gives me opportunities to grow. I understand that some of these careers require years of training and may not offer that balance or income right away, but I’m willing to work toward those things if I feel like I’m building a life and career I actually want.
I think part of my problem is that I’m interested in so many different things, but every path comes with trade-offs, and I end up talking myself out of pursuing any of them.

For those of you who have been in a similar position, how did you finally choose a direction?

Basically the title. I am still in a mid-to-low level position in my career and have 5 years experience so I want to start looking for greener pastures. However my demeanor is quite soft-spoken and I dont tend to take risks. I feel really ridiculous sometimes because perhaps just being louder and making more acquaintances at work would've gotten me further by now but I just cringe when I think of that. Perhaps this is behaviour I can change perhaps it is just part of being introverted.

Hi, I'm an 18 year old senior looking for advice I have some posts on my page that I made a few days ago asking for college advice regarding veterinary school. Most people basically said that the path to becoming a vet leaves no time for a personal life or parter, and it is extremely rigorous and grueling. I already knew that it would be very challenging, I have been top 5 in my class throughout high school and kept a 4.0 while maintaining extracurricular activities, a demanding sport, and a 4.0 GPA. Is vet school truly that miserable? Is being a vet an unenjoyable job even after I make it through school?

I grew up in India, with a fairly comfortable childhood. Both my parents were post graduates, had decent corporate careers and good grades, good job was the default life blueprint I was working with. I got the good grades, did an MBA, got a job in a global IT company, got married, moved to London - and somehow, just don't believe in the blueprint anymore.

I dont enjoy my corporate job, although I have no tangible complaints. I have a decent manager, good pay that helps me fund a life that I do enjoy. And yet, it seems so meaningless...I keep thinking about a sabbatical, switching to non corporate, having a panic baby, sticking to the stable job, doing a PhD, getting some tangible skill (because I dont actually know what I do today, and somehow its still valuable to my organization)....

Is this just imposter syndrome or something deeper to address? Any recommendations for finding a role in London with more purpose with visa sponsorship and a respectable pay. (I dont expect the £80k I make now, but would like to atleast be ~£60k)

I'm 40 years old. I'm currently a night shift EKG tech. I work 4 12-hr shifts a week. I make about 2700 a month. The only thing I'm doing outside of work are some photography/digital media classes at my local community college.

I want to reach middle class, but I highly doubt anything I'm doing now will be the ticket. Digital media will all be replaced by AI, and healthcare wages are stagnating across the board. What are some other paths I can take to reach middle class? Thanks in advance.

I just started on a new job after being unemployed for the last five months, which is a relief. I'll be working as an administrative assistant for a financial advisor practice, where I can likely grow the role into one that makes use of my data analytics skills. All in all, it's enough for now.

I also recently completed a recruiter screening interview for a data analyst position, and they want to do an in-person interview next week, after my first days of work. This analytics role offers much more of what I want from my career, and I would happily leave my current job for this one. Unfortunately, the new job makes it impossible to make an interview during their available hours without taking time from my current job.

How should I navigate this situation? So far, I think my best bet is to make up a medical appointment of some sort to tell my employer in order to attend an interview. Should I be up-front about my situation with the recruiter and ask for a remote interview instead?

Hi, I graduated in May, and I have interviewed for a few roles over the past few months. Haven’t made it to an offer stage yet. At graduation, I had a health issue, and I didn’t know what role I wanted in my field. Now, I have resolved that health issue, and I know what career I want and how I can get there.

Before May, I could have interviewed for a technician role. At the time, I wasn’t ready to work, I didn’t see how it fit into my career, and I didn’t want to do a job that I would dread in the morning. I regret that now because I see how it would fit into my career.

This past month, I did not further pursue a role that was exactly what I wanted to do because the working hours were extreme. I am in tech. I do somewhat regret not pursuing that further… but if I keep on making sacrifices, when do I stop?

Right now, I am waiting to hear back from a role in my hometown that I have completed the first interview for, and I have an interview on Friday for another role in my hometown. I have no holdups about either of these roles.

Is it ok that I haven’t taken every opportunity?

Using an alt for this since people at work know my usual account.

I’ve been a senior ops coordinator at a regional healthcare staffing company for a little over 3 years. About 6 weeks ago my manager asked me to start training a newer guy on everything I do: vendor contracts, scheduling system, the payroll reconciliation process I basically built from scratch. Her reasoning was that it’s “risky to have all this knowledge in one person” and they wanted coverage in case I’m ever out sick. Honestly that made sense to me, so I made him a whole 40 page process doc and have been doing screenshare sessions with him twice a week.

Yesterday a friend sent me a LinkedIn listing and asked “isn’t this your job?” It’s my exact title, same responsibilities word for word (some of the bullet points are copied straight from the doc I wrote), same location, posted by a recruiting firm instead of under our company name. The salary range listed tops out about $9k below what I make now.

I haven’t had a bad review. My last one in June was “exceeds expectations” and I got a 4% raise. Nobody has said anything about my performance. But the timing of all this is hard to ignore.

I’m not in a position to just walk out. My wife is on maternity leave until January and I’m the one carrying our health insurance right now, so losing this job before I have something lined up would be really bad.

Part of me wants to ask my manager directly, because maybe there’s an innocent explanation, like they’re opening a second location or something. But if I’m right, asking might just speed up the timeline, and I’d also be admitting I know. The other option is keep training him like nothing’s wrong, slow walk the remaining stuff, and job hunt as fast as I can.

Has anyone been in this situation? Do I confront it or keep my head down until I have an offer?

I just got an interview for a bank teller job and am being offered either an in-person or virtual interview. The office I'd be interviewing at (not where I'd be working) is an hour away. I don't have a lot of experience so I don't know which is better. What would you pick?

16 year old, junior year Highschool

I’m struggling to choose between sonography and dental hygiene (RDH), and I’d love advice from people in either field!

I live in Washington, where both careers pay well. My biggest concern with RDH is that PTO, health insurance, and other benefits seem to depend on the dental office, while sonography jobs seem more likely to offer them.

I’m in Running Start, completing my prerequisites during junior and senior year. My goal is to finish my prerequisites in high school, complete a 2-year program after graduation, and start working around age 20. However, sonography programs may require another year of prerequisites.

Is sonography worth the extra time for the benefits, or would you choose RDH? How are the benefits, work-life balance, and job satisfaction in both careers? I’d especially appreciate advice from people working in Washington!

I joined a nonprofit last month. This month it was announced that the org will be shutting down in 3 years. They have committed funds till 2029 and then will close down. Not getting into the details of why. This was not communicated to me at the time of joining. It's further complicated because I am on a work visa and will lose my status when the company closes. I've spoken to a few others who have worked in the NGO world and they seem to think this was quite normal since NGOs are driven by funding cycles and projects are only secured by grants. I earn decently (equivalent of 75K USD) at a junior manager role. What should I do?

Got laid off and they did not give much pay or bonus etc. Hr in the meeting says multiple times stressing best to get it reviewed by lawyer. Is this common and does lawyer really help with negotiations? Is there a difference if lawyer is hired ?

I’m at a crossroads!

I’m 29F and my background is in school operations and HR. (I was never a teacher btw -- supported a school district health office then was promoted to HR because of all my op achievements woot)

Current situation:

I’ve been at my current district for a little over a year.

pay is significantly better, but the drive is 40 miles round trip a day (M-F) & work environment has turned out to be extremely toxic and unprofessional...

The district is very small, so I essentially function as the entire HR dept while also serving as the personal assistant to the superintendent.

I wear every designer styled hat and am constantly putting out fires. There are ongoing legal issues behind the scenes, wild union disputes, and a lot of tension between the district and its school sites.

But hey the pay is good so that's how they get you! And dangling the pension in front of you..

BUTT I JJUSTT found out that our superintendent will retire in a couple of months.

Given how closely I work with him and how much of my role is tied to supporting him, this has me wondering what the transition will mean for my position.. they aren't communicating this well with me either... just emphasized "YOU WILL HAVE a ton of work ahead of you" like welp nice, very swell

Other districts I've seen cleaned house when a new sup is onboard.. they bring in new people and shake things up, and I’m concerned that my job could become even more unpredictable!

The opportunity I’m considering:

I may have an opportunity to take a 6 month Salesforce contract position for ~ $40/hour. The role is in recruiting in the SF location

(Less money but atleast I get to leave the hell of a job and finally move in with my partner!)

I also have been trying to transition into the tech industry for months and have struggled to get my foot in the door without direct tech experience. I’m interested in technology, innovation, and working in an environment where I can continue growing professionally. This opportunity could give me relevant industry experience, help me build a network, and potentially open doors to other roles down the line.

Essentially -- should I get out of my current situation before the superintendent’s retirement creates even more uncertainty. What would you do here?

--------

TL;DR: I’m 29F, currently working in HR/operations for a small school district. The pay is good, but the environment is poop, I’m essentially the entire HR department AND the superintendent’s personal assistant, and I’m constantly putting out fires. Now my superintendent just announced he’s retiring in a couple of months, and I’m worried about what that means for my role (especially since they’ve already warned me I’ll have a TONNNNNN more work ahead).

I may have an opportunity to take a 6month recruiting contract at Salesforce for ~$40/hour. It’s a pay cut with no guarantee of extension, but it could be my foot in the door to tech, get me out of a toxic environment, and finally allow me to move in with my partner.

Would you take the risk and leave before the leadership transition, or stay ? Thank you!!!

Trying to decide between two positions. I work in healthcare; have over a decade of experience in current field.

Current position is split between some administrative and clinical work that I truly enjoy and find rewarding. Great benefits. Stable position and employer. The main issue is my commute. On a typical day I have to drive 2.5 hours round trip. If there is an accident on the roads, that time will increase. There is a strong possibility that I can transfer to a closer office in the future; however I will have to wait for someone to vacate one of those positions before I can move over. I don’t foresee this happening for at least 2 years, possibly longer.

Was offered a new position that will be a step back job duty wise and be 100% clinical work (patient care). The commute would be an hour per day round trip on a typical day. The pay is more per hour; this position is only 4 days a week but I would be making nearly the same amount annually. I also have the option to pick up extra shifts if wanted if it gets busy. The benefits for this position are strong but not as great as the other position. What holds me back is the job duties. I don’t hate the clinical work, but I don’t like it either. the population I would work with will not be rewarding like at my current job. This employer is also known for high productivity (more patients and more stress)l.

However, would it be worth changing jobs in order to cut down my work and commute hours? If I take the new job, I would get back about 16 hours a week to spend with my family, spend on my hobbies, etc. I have discussed this situation with my family and flip flop on how to move forward. If I leave my current job, I would have to burn bridges and lose my ability to work for this employer in the future.

Hi all! Looking to get some advice. I left my banking job a couple months ago to join a start up and am not necessarily liking the new gig. How bad would it look to go back to my old employer and ask them if I can come back? Or should I just focus on new companies? I had convos with another firm but am wondering if I am burning a bridge if I don’t end up going through the process with them? is it safer to just go back to the old firm?