how many days would i need to be clean from b/p so that the swelling under my jaw can disappear if i've been b/p multiple times everyday for 5-6 months

after tomorrow when i eat with my mom (Which will be an omad day) I will likely not eat for 2-3 more days. just posting a random though :/

O céu é que mesmo após comer insanas quantidade de comidas e ficar super estufado, após sair do banheiro sai até mais leve e "magro" do que antes. O inferno é que aproximadamente 10-20 minutos dentro desse banheiro são completamente horrendos, eu me sinto horrível fazendo isso, me sinto um lixo, além de tem que forçar muito pra sair, a garganta arde sem contar a sujeira e o cheiro horroroso que fica, esse tempo é o inferno pra mim e infelizmente não consigo superar, é mais forte do que eu.

I keep doing it and telling myself this is gonna be the last one, that tomorrow I will start fresh. But I wake up and again. It's a nightmare, It's been years. Please help. How to really stop it?

I haven’t bp in 10+ years. Tonight, I am struggling.

Tell me how much sushi (cucumber roll) would hurt to purge?
I feel like it would HURT

this is both funny and absolutely miserable at the same time. it's late at night and I'd just binged like mad on stuff that wasnt just filling but also totally nauseating (think grease, chocolate, bla bla bla), and was reaching the end of the binge and getting ready to purge it back up .... until the fire alarm went off. the fire alarm where i live (shared student housing) is weird and sometimes only goes off for like 2 seconds before turning off, but it stayed on this time and i had to stand outside with like, 30+ other people in torrential rain with the most insane nausea ive ever had. You know when you've just binged and you already have the gag reflex triggering because it knows whats coming next, i was fighting for my damn life standing in the freezing cold not to vomit up an insane amount of food next to these totally normal people 😭 and the worst part is we were standing outside for so long, i couldnt even properly purge the food when i got back LMFAOOO (it hurt like hell i dont recommend purging anyway but especially not after that long)

i guess it's a blessing in disguise but to me that's just a total night ruiner because now i'm feeling so full with no way to fix it . Anyways hope you enjoyed my kinda funny story and have a better night/day than me cuz i feel like shiiiit

I have been bulimic from the ages of 11 to 17 then I stopped after I started drinking heavily as that became my new vice. At 20 I stopped drinking and from 20 to 26 fell back into my ed.

At the end of September I noticed my gums were receding and pain was developing in my teeth which absolutely terrified me.

On October 1st I made a vow to myself to do whatever it takes to break the addiction and recover. Though, it has only been 2 weeks since then, I have learned alot. I did have 2 setbacks but would like to share my process to those who may need it.

The first 4 days were absolute hell. I wanted to consume everything in my fridge, cabinets, pantry. I downloaded and deleted doordash multiple times. Had aniexty attacks. Cried. My mood was kind of cranky. I had issues sleeping. I hated it.

But I learned you need to sit with those feelings. You need to face them and work with your brain to fight against them.

My body knew it wasn't hungry, but my brain seen the bp as a stress relief. It needed that release because that is who I trained my brain over the years to handle stress and emotions.

I ate very little those days (a sandwich, handful of grapes, ramen) in an attempt not to bp and knew I had to avoid sugar as that was a huge trigger for me.

But I wasn't bloating anymore. I didn't feel so stiff in my stomach and that disgust that lingers from bp.

And then I felt true hunger that I haven't felt in so long. My stomach was growling, I genuinely needed food for my body and not for the voices in my head.

But as I ate a real full meal, my mind went through the trenches to try and get me to fall back and by the 8th day, I did bp and the disgust I felt was absolutely terrible. I hated myself so much for falling back after doing good for so long.

Then the process repeated of fighting the voices in my head and try to develop a healthy relationship with my body, mind and food. On the 11th day, I fell back again.

Now today, on 10/15, I have not bp'd in 3 days and can say after those 2 setbacks, which I do not shame myself for as it is apart of recovery, I know how to handle things a bit better.

It feels like my body and mind are learning from eachother and the honest truth is you need to keep yourself busy and distracted as much as you need to learn to sit with those voices in your head and overcome them.

Yes, distractions are good and do help, but if you do not know how to face yourself head on, you won't know what it takes for you to recover, (in my experience atleast)

Thank you for reading, I tried to word this correctly as this process is still hard for me to type out emotionally wise.

I wish you all well🫶🏻

Hey guys!

Whenever I stop purging after the 24 hour mark my salivary glands gets super swollen ( LIKE SUPER FUCKING SWOLLEN, somehow without any pain just my ears feel weird ), I made a post abt this a few weeks ago asking for advice on how to reduce it but nothing seem to work

right now I want advice on how the FUCK do I deal with this MENTALLY?
I don’t want anyone to see me and i keep telling myself fuck it I’m gonna purge because it’s the ONLY THING that makes it look better :(. What helps me is saying “it’ll pass” a million times but when I look in the mirror I’m like fuck this.

Sorry a lot of my posts about my chipmunk 🐿️ face because it’s truly making my spiral. :( even sharing success stories of those who managed to surpass this phase is helpful because right now I’m so hopeless.

I’m so freaking happy and motivated right now I can’t believe I’ve come this far after being stuck for months on end and it’s honestly been pretty easy since I’ve been eating balanced and nutritious meals, I don’t even feel like snacking much!! This week was especially amazing because I bought so many comfortable clothes that I can actually tolerate and it was all 60% off!!! Not to mention I finally got ADHD medication today and I think I feel better, I’m calm but happy at the same time and I feel so locked in 😮‍💨👌

went to the ER recently because of crazy sharp chest pain and shortness of breath. they ended telling me its costoconditus and a panic attack. honestly i think b/p is catching up to me bad because before this when id purge id feel my heart palpitate and id feel like super dizzy and weak. this has cause me to have crazy health anxiety well knowing b/p is super straining to your body.

since my diagnosis when id try to purge, right after id have crazy chest pain and heart palpitations so i haven’t been able to purge at all. the stress on that is making me want to eat more and more and forgetting i cant just purge it all making me even more stressed. ive stopped for now but i think its my sign to go into recovery. and get anxiety meds. the thought that im gaining sm weight from eating makes me feel disgusting but also the thought of not eating at all makes me nervous im gonna pass out and die. i just feel horrible and stressed and am in mental and physical pain.

please don’t comment anything about health or about me needing to go to the hospital. all my vitals and scans came back normal plus it will make my anxiety worse. honestly if u have experienced this or going through this i’d love some insight on how to navigate this.

Might get down voted for this post but honestly I just need to vent.

So for context - I've been anorexic for my years now and am serverly underweight.

My body is pretty well broken and stuffed. I break my bones all the time, am always bruised and sore, can barely walk, can not run or lift anything that is heavy and struggle with simple daily tasks things like opening a can - just literally all the simple things are a mission, I barely sleep and am always exhausted, my skin is dry and my hair is just so super thin it's ridiculous. You know the rest - there's so many other things that have destroyed my body, these are just some.

I'm just over it. My body is clearly failing but it just won't give out. I've wrecked my marriage, my 14 year old now stays with her Nana almost 24/7 because I can barely look after myself and I have seizures and sadly my daughter has seen these which scares the shit out of her and that's completely fair enough.

Anyway the vent part, Anorexia Nervosa... They say it's the #1 most deadly mental health disorder but if that's the case, why the fuck am I still here and alive after doing/dealing with this for years? Why do people live so long in general? How can people survive over 10 years even though they are absolutely screwed..

Like I'm not going to purposely commit suicide, I don't think I have that in me. But I just want to be out of this miserable life I live. I feel at this point I have nothing to live for and I've lost all of my independence, I can't drive anymore, had to leave my job like I can't physically work anymore etc I have to rely on other people for help now like just take me out already AN my life is literally pointless I have no purpose anymore

Edit: Just for reference I have reached out for help many times, offered to go inpatient, counciling etc and I have been turned down every time. So I have tried and really don't need that kind of advice. We have a shit medical system here in NZ 🇳🇿 I tried and it failed me. Like I said life is pointless..