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Over this summer I decided to have some fun and go on a couple dates, all dating apps btw cause I dont get asked out irl.

I started to realise I only matched with white guys and only went on dates with white guys.

I was getting a little worried because of course im attracted to black guys I just didnt know why I only liked white guys on dating apps.

I almost feel like I've been indoctrinated to prefer interacial relationships through youtube, tiktok etc since I was a kid.

Just to note I find black men more attractive than white men btw. So this whole experience has made me quit dating apps for the forseeable future and I've blocked any interacial couples I see on social media.

There's always conversation about black people who grew up in predominantly white areas being white washed... but as someone who grew up in a predominantly black area, l've came across black people who were still colorist, still putting whiteness or any kind of non blackness on pedestals, making fun of black woman’s hair, treating racism like a joke. Like literally during the whole George Floyd situation back in 2020, it was BLACK PEOPLE from my area on Facebook making jokes. I can really go all day. And it just shows how a lot of black people be having black friends, black partners, ATTENDING HBCUS AND OTHER BLACK SPACES, and STILLLLLLL have the same mindset as the typical whitewashed person, sometimes even worse. But I digress.

I noticed on reddit when you say anything white and describe that person, they'll act like why couldn't someone just say their character instead of their racial identity?! Maybe because it absolutely matters in the story. I just saw a post on a subreddit about a TV character trope and I'm sure OP a lot of the time has seen the majority if not all, White women play that trope. In the comment sections people were acting like it's that big of a deal instead of understanding why they constantly see the character as "White" or something they saw as a personal attack. Not surprised since Reddit is majority white.

Then in the comment section one white person then said something that wasn't even related to the post saying, "There's no colonizer alive today," which is a very ignorant statement. There may not be "Colonizers" but there's neo-colonialist? How ignorant do some people have to be.

(I'll show screenshots in comments)

Edit: One of them just responded to me, and of course called colonization some "Old shit" (Another screenshot

I’ve been trying this new perfume/oil and I usually put a bit on my chest, wrists and a bit near my ears, I’ve never had this happen before (I use this brand a lot) but it seems I’m having a reaction to the oil. I’ve developed a rash only on my chest area and near my ears and it’s driving me crazy looking at it 😫.

After searching online, I believe it might be Contact Dermatitis. Does anyone have any recommendations on what I can use to clear it up? (Yes I am no longer using the perfume/oil)

I will attach a pic in the comments if I can!

Like making Disney characters black, I didn't ask for it, I can bet that like 60% or more people like me didn't ask for it. Y'all can't even shame me for this one, I'm black too. Well brown but still, not the light brown where I literally look white, just normal light brown. But back to the point, I literally hate it, it's pathetic too. Another thing, I hate forced LGBTQIA representation in Disney, when they make a character like that, they make their sexuality their whole thing, I don't see them doing that for a straight character. Like, being gay is just what type of person your attracted to irl, but no, Disney has to exaggerate it and make them hold hands 24/7, no sane irl person holds hands with someone that often. It's like they're trying to force us viewers to know that they support the LGBTQIA. I dunno how to describe this off feeling where they're just making a character for their attraction towards a specific gender. Example, the little mermaid 2023, they removed scenes to make Ariel look like the brave hero, something just seems off. It wasn't even the right hair color. Strange world, 2022. In the film, Ethan’s crush on Diazo is completely, unconditionally celebrated by every adult around him. While intended to portray a supportive family, critics and audiences noted that treating a teenage romance as entirely flawless and without any typical teen awkwardness or friction makes it feel hollow and unrealistic. Luz and Amity went from a brilliant, complex "enemies-to-friends" dynamic in Season 1 to a couple that felt like they were perpetually locked in a honeymoon phase.

By "Flop" movie I mean movies that either aren't widely known or liked for some reason, not that it was actually a flop (even though these can make into the category),

Feel free to share why you like this movie!

Me: Penelope (2006)

Everything about is ridiculous but James McAvoy was amazing to look at it and it is so silly that it distracted me for a solid one and a half hour.

I truly need black women to extended grace to other black women. And or the benefit of the doubt.
Some people dont notice when our hair looks a certain way but a black woman will and not the majority of the time BUT enough for me to notice that they will point it out. Especially older black women. If someone clothes are wrinkled, if they gained weight, if theyre too thin, if theyre going down a mental spiral and are making mistakes, or if theyre defending themselves.

Today someone posted about a lifestyle youtuber who is a black woman that was arrested back in july. We know that shot she someone but we dont know ANYTHING else. The comments are filled with other black women instantly saying “i knew something was off about her” “i thought she was normal” and other just horrendous things. Not one singular comment talking about how we don’t know what happened, we dont know if she was defending herself especially because the person shot was a man. And im SORRY BUT it is NOT far fetched that it could be self defense. Its just not!
Most back women that are murdered are murder by men they KNOW.
Instead of thinking that way which frankly is common fucking sense, people are making her the crazy one. Is that what white people do to us? Why tf are we doing it to each other. Comments talking about her recent mental health why dont you think “hmm i wonder if the man she shot was cause that mental illness” no instant shes crazy.

Black women and native women have these HIGHEST level of domestic violence in america. Im not saying to blatantly support her or anything but to create a dogpile like the world doesn’t give the shittiest end of the stick is WILD.
Dont we all complain about how our mother, aunts, sisters, grandmother’s instant blamed us for things? So instead of deprogramming we are just perpetuating it?!

Can we extended the benefit of the doubt? Can we attend some grace? Can we at least fucking WAIT and give other black women a chance? Like fuck bro no one else does.

I tried. I really did, i tried my best. But sometimes your best not enough. Ive been so stressed. And the time that I really just tried to enjoy my own company and think. I get arrested. Got pulled over for expired reg. Now I got 2 cases. This really the cherry on top and im so confused. Ik people be like you looking too deep into things. Not everything has a meaning. But i do believe that and I dont know the meaning behind this. But ion think i can fight this battle no more. Ion think its for me. I been tryna gas light myself to think oh its ok everything is ok. You’ll figure things out but this? Nah. Ion have the time or the funds in me to go along with ts. Im giving up. I thought I deserved so much more outta life. Clearly I was wrong and my parent was right. I’ll never be shit and I am a failure. Ive failed myself by letting ts happen and im just not ok with proceeding with this. Ion really wanna talk. Im exhausted. Ive exhausted myself and the others around me trying to fight for something thats not there. Im ready. I quite literally have nothing left.

I've been seeing a lot of conversations about Mike Flanagan's Carrie, particularly within the Black community, with people arguing that only white kids would treat Carrie the way her classmates did, and that if Carrie were in a predominantly Black school, things would have played out differently.

And I beg to differ

Have we forgotten how cruel children can be? Black kids bully people, too. Black teenagers can be vicious, humiliating, and downright sadistic. Maybe they won't dump pig's blood on your head, but they can absolutely make your life a living hell.

When I was a child, no white kid poured pig's blood on me. But Black kids forced me to sit on a chair covered in broken glass because they thought it would be "funny"...

So seeing a number of black folks talk about how Carrie would have been accepted in a a black school I just gotta laugh 😭

Like yes it fuckin does...try being an autistic or neurodivergent black girl...they might not pour pigs blood but they'll definitely let you know they see you as an *other*

I can’t lie, I was ignorant and thought dry shampoo was for the palm colored folk. It doesn’t do anything for my hair in its natural state, but a week-old silk press???? Wow.

My silk press starts looking flat & oily after a week or so, but that dry shampoo damn near completely brings it back to life…especially if I need it to last just a little bit longer.

I’m just sharing in case you also need a way to extend the life of your silk press.

So I re-downloaded Hinge a couple of months ago after 3 or 4 years when I downloaded it the first time. I wasn’t on it for long the first time bc I kind of got my long-term boyfriend through there. So I deleted it after. Went on a hiatus from dating while in grad school and now after finishing I remembered I kind of do want to be married (lol) one day so need to get back to dating back seriously this time. I decided to download Hinge again, not necessarily because I think I’ll find my soulmate there, even though possible. But moreso, I want to get more experience with dating in general.

I’m kind of really only interested in BM and especially in this political state I really want to stick with my ppl. I know when you first re-download, Hinge will boost your profile and I would get likes every day. Because I don’t really like talking to multiple men at a time I used to pause my profile back-and-forth when they were a decent amount of likes sitting there.

My preference has always been set to BM on there, but I still have it to where I’m open to being shown other races. Before it would show me a mix of guys, mainly black. But now, it’s slowly starting to only show me white men & a few other races sometimes. So then I unchecked “open to other races” so it would only show me BM, but after about 3 or 4 BM, it will say I’ve ran out of options. And I’ve noticed if you give it a break a little bit, you would get a few more options sometimes the same guys but after about 5 Xs, it won’t show you any more people. When I went back to check “open to showing other races”, even though my preference is black men, it only shows me white men constantly. And I can continue to X them out and it will still be a multitude of endless white men Hinge will only show me. But when I wanna focus on BM, it will only give me five options before it tells me I’ve ran out of guys?? Why are they doing that as it’s so annoying and how to fix it.

So recently I’ve been seeing a lot of hate on weird black girls from the community. I can see the perspective of the black community bc it’s a very pride driven group and when someone disregards it or minimizes it, it’s seen as disrespectful. The problem is though, with weird black girls who get bullied for the things they like by ppl in the black community, I can see why they might consciously or subconsciously separate themselves. The thing that is specific in the black community is being black comes before everything else. But for some of the weird black girls who have felt their blackness isn’t what they relate to the most, other parts of their identities come first like their gender or their interests. I feel like we are the only groups that shame ppl in that position bc it comes from a place of tribalism. Yes, I feel bad they aren’t secure, but sometimes it’s hard to be.

For most of my life I have been in alternative spaces listening to super heavy music, wearing alt clothes, and am neurodivergent. I was bullied for not being black enough my whole life bc of these things. But, alternative spaces I was in accepted me more than my own ppl so I resonated with that more. I still accepted I was black but it wasn’t before everything else. Later on in my life I started to love it after some mentors helped me reclaim but, I don’t see a problem in putting mother things before it. ESPECIALLY when some of these girls feel like they don’t fit into the black community bc of how WE treat them.

I need some costume ideas that are cheap and simple.
I need one that in can where behind the bar at work. One that is Sexy and one that is ugly

My hair is black.
Please help a black girl out . I don’t have much money to spend so I’m hoping I can DIY

Might make another post but I’m currently on city break with my friend. During the car ride, we were listened to her playlist and then a song came. I look at the singer name and i was in disbelief. Basically in my country this guy is like if Charlie Kirk pursue a music career. He never hide the fact that he’s is far right and has shows cancelled because of his lyrics considered to be racists and homophobic. And when his song came i was like « there no way she listen to him », i start derealized and my mood changed during the whole vacation. We came home tomorrow but i don’t know what to do, confront her directly, or pretend to be a far-right so that she’ll be forced to show her true colors, bc there’s no way that you’ve been around me (for 9 years) while holding those kinds of views and acting as if nothing’s wrong.

When I get stressed out, overwhelmed, or frustrated, I start to think of a lot of scenarios. It can be about my friends, other people, my future, what I like about myself, what I hate about myself. I'm bothered to the point where I think I'm going to be still single when I hit 30. I'm 26, btw. I even think a lot about what my friend's advice on what to do and not do when it comes to styling my clothes, what face to where, how to handle a guy with today's day of age in the dating world.

When I think back about our conversation, I feel that I'm just a sexual awakening or just an eye-candy. I never truly experienced "pretty privilege," and I told them I grew up fat and an ugly duckling. As a black woman myself, just me, I personally don't feel at my best or see the best of me where I'm now looking up books to read on how to be elegant. People I know who are married or dating found their partner in a way that they have similar interests and/or were able to click. As desperate I sound and want to rip my flesh off my bones because of my decision-making of a book, I can make a million of friends, but I can't get a date with someone that isn't BSing me. Every guy I talked to had BS me. One guy wanted a make-believe wife, and I cut that shit.

I have thoughts of doing something stupid, but I know it would never happen. All I can do is sit in my imagination and think of a hobby that requires zero to little money.

I met my friend through Valorant, and we’re both Black women with a good understanding of the community. We know that some people can be pretty unpleasant. She invited me to play with her friend, and I was excited to meet new people.

As the games went on, we got into a game where the random player was racist and her friend didn’t do anything to help us with the situation. He just listened and acted like nothing happened. We continued to talk about how it was strange and that it was strange people felt comfortable calling people the N-word.

Then, her friend asked us, “Well, what if people are surrounded by Black people and are told they can say it? Is it okay then?”

I may have been rude and asked if he was stupid for asking, but I felt like you have to ask something like that. You should really already know the answer.

My friend and I got into it because she was defending him for me calling him stupid instead of realizing that he was actually a little weird. He wasn’t willing to defend us or speak up when someone was calling us the hard R, but he felt comfortable asking us questions like that.

She was more worried about me calling him stupid than he was about seeking a specific response. I love her, but to me, it was genuinely off-putting. I feel crazy thinking about it.

I (25F) wanted out of the matrix. I deleted every platform except YouTube in April. I got the gel soaked off my toes and went with regular polish instead. I got my acrylics soaked off my hands to let my natural nails grow like my grannies’. I stopped wearing much makeup and I stopped trying to live a picture perfect life. My little world has never been brighter. I finally felt ready to get baptized and I have a more intimate relationship with God. I have the mental capacity to keep my apartment clean and I even go around my family again. I’ve found real friends who I actually love to hangout with after my 9-5. I am more productive offline without the constant the weight of comparison, borrowed identity, spending influence, and the constant performance metrics.

I spent so much time ruminating on what my life “looked” like that I wasn’t living a life of actual quality and I was afraid to be seen as my natural, imperfect, growing self. Many people seem to have the capacity to balance social media presence and real world identity but I personally feel, think, love and experience much deeper without it.

I also learned I don’t have many insecurities. In the real world, I am totally fine. I don’t feel I need wigs to look put together anymore. my textured skin and natural hair make me feel like a beautiful individual. I’ve randomly been told “you’re glowing” by my friends and my therapist. I can keep up in conversation just fine (I was worried I would be out of the loop without TikTok). I overthink and overcompensate less. I receive and internalize compliments for a change. I guess I have self confidence because I have applied knowledge. I even started to initiate small talk with my coworkers rather than keeping my nose in my phone on the elevator. I workout peacefully without the fear of my Strava/Apple Watch stats. I’m at peace with being single, too without the rich wife guru algorithm particles interrupting my life. And I see the fruit of my labor. I haven’t felt “behind” nor depressed in 5 months.

Has anyone else had any personal improvement from seriously dedicating time to cultivating a tangible life of real connection and personal improvement? Nothing crazy! just appreciating simplicity and the convenience already available to us?

​

Y’all, am I tripping or does everybody in my life piss me off with how they do things sometimes? LMAOOO

Tbh I’m a very bubbly person but I get bored FAST. And lately I feel like every conversation I have with friends or family is draining my life force. Like why does everything have to be so unnecessarily complicated???

Example: I’m planning something with a friend. SHE suggested it. SHE was excited about it. I just came in to help, and next thing you know I’m designing invitations, planning decorations, sorting out the details, and helping make the whole thing happen

Now, she has a new baby, a husband, work, and a whole new routine to adjust to, so I GET IT. I’m not expecting her to drop everything for a party

But girl 😭😭😭 you keep changing your mind, complaining that nobody is excited, rushing to book things last minute, and then changing the actual plan after I’ve already sent invitations with the original location and ticket prices to people???

We were supposed to rent a villa. Today, suddenly, an Airbnb is enough. Mind you, we’re supposed to confirm everything in TWO DAYS

Then I suggest some easy DIY decorations. Nothing crazy. Just signs and balloons. She says that feels like too much work

BABE

At this point, do whatever you want. I genuinely don't care if we have a villa, an Airbnb, or sit in somebody's living room eating chips. IT IS NOT ABOUT THE LOCATION

It's the constant back and forth. I like knowing what we're doing, making a plan, and getting things done. I don't enjoy having to reorganize everything five times because nobody can decide what they actually want

And she's a fun person. I love that she's excited about things. But I cannot be the project manager for an event you suggested while you keep changing the project requirements every 30 minutes. PLEASE

And this isn't even just her. Lately, I feel like I have to use 90% of my brain power just to have normal conversations with people. Everybody seems distracted, indecisive, or moving at a speed that makes me want to log out of society

Maybe I'm impatient. Maybe my ADHD makes me want everything to happen NOW. Maybe I'm just surrounded by people whose way of doing things doesn't match mine

But WHY am I coming out of every interaction feeling like I need to lie down afterwards???

Does anybody else experience this or am I actually the problem? LMFAOOOO

Why on earth did a white woman just say “what’s up” to me and my husband? Lmao ABSOLUTELY NOT. I kept walking. Then I turned around and looked at her and she was staring at me like 😐. I said no, clearly I misheard that. So I asked my husband if she indeed said what’s up? He said yup! I have been laughing for the last 5 minutes the audacity and the gall. Do you say that to the white patrons too or just the black ones?

Hey yall. I’m F26. I have been experimenting with my wardrobe and looks for a while. But I would say it’s time to level up in all ways:

Physically, emotionally, mentally, financially.

The looksmaxing community is too childish and weird.

On TikTok, I watch RealTalkWithYanie and Ashely Dalton and Jessecia Alford.

I am the big sister so I don’t have a big sister figure to give me advice on life. The women in my family pretty much all have their own things going on so I don’t bother them.

But I’m tired of not feeling comfortable in my own skin, where no matter what I do it just doesn’t feel right. Do you have any level up advice to improve yourself in all aspects?

This is me:

https://www.instagram.com/p/DYHRSLDG3zr/?psln=d3JmOGJsOG02OTcz

Growing up, I didn’t have many black friends despite living in a city where they made up majority of the population. Because of that, I didn’t use the N word often in my daily language and so now whenever I try saying it— I just feel extremely awkward, cringy, and out of place.

It always feels like my delivery and cadence are completely off, to the point where it sounds forced or unnatural coming out of my mouth. It’s almost like I’m reading/saying a word that I’m not supposed to be using despite being Black myself, even being born to immigrant parents.

To make it even worse, my siblings only ever had black friends growing up and so they picked up the word seamlessly and can use it without even thinking twice about it. Watching them use it so naturally makes me feel even more out of place. Especially at school where everyone around me uses it in casual conversation, I find myself feeling weird and left out as a Black person for not using it despite technically having “the pass”, but forcing it in my vocabulary feels unnatural.

Just to clear up any confusion, I love my skin color. I have no issue at all with my race, and I’m proud to be Black. I genuinely love who I am and where I come from, this is strictly a vocabulary and not identity thing.

I'm asking what is your favorite horror movie with black characters or black casts.

Tell why it your favorite madia or name the madia you like.