Mom to a 4.5 month old and almost 3 year old. I feel like I’m going insane. The baby is frustrated with her existence and inability to do anything and does. not. stop. whining. She’s never even silent. Just going back and forth between whining and crying all day long. My toddler is a talker. I love that about him but when combined with the whining, it’s making me crazy. He just talks and talks and talks. And he always needs me engaged in his conversation and play. Yes or mhm aren’t acceptable answers. Repeating back what he said isn’t acceptable. He always wants me actively providing comments/questions. I loved being a stay at home mom with my first but now being around this all day is not enjoyable anymore.

Difficult to make this short however all of our family live a couple of hours from us and every single one of them are in a different area to each other. Our baby is due end of November. Other half has 2 siblings and a difficult mother.

MIL has always been high maintenance at Christmas time and still wants all of her 3 children together at some point over Christmas despite us all living far away from each other. However we do always tend to find a date to meet somewhere even if it’s not on the day, so she can have all of her children together. She also insists on going OTT on presents which has passed on to her daughter (SIL) being the same way, so Christmas gets a bit ridiculous with his side of the family and stupid amounts of money are spent.

I made it clear in August we are willing to host only my mum and his mum this Christmas and we won’t be travelling anywhere due to having a newborn. MIL had a meltdown saying how could she pick between her children at Christmas and I said that’s on her but we’re going nowhere and we’re not hosting any more people than that.

I’ve just suggested in family group chat that this year we do a secret Santa instead as I don’t want to be doing Christmas shopping for everyone this year and makes it a bit easier on us. MIL has outright refused saying she can’t possibly not shower everyone with gifts and whilst she doesn’t expect gifts in return, she only wants us all to be around the table together at least once over Christmas (despite me saying we won’t be travelling with a newborn and I won’t be hosting other half’s siblings and their partners, I’ll only host our mums). I’m happy for them to travel to see us at different times but I know I won’t be able to face a full house of all of them a few weeks after birth.

I am RILED by her response, whether this is pregnancy hormones or a genuine response I don’t know. What’s annoyed me more is my other half just doesn’t have the bollocks to say anything to his mum and said he feels caught in the middle. I said for once this year he should be on my side, considering every year we pander to his mum and her OTT Christmas ways and silly gift giving, and the fact that this year I’ll be recovering from a c-section with a newborn.

What have others done in the past in terms of managing family over Christmas with a newborn / how do they plan to manage it this year? What did you do about presents for all the family? I’m just so miserable at this point I don’t want to be Christmas shopping now but I also don’t want to do it when I have a new baby.

i have always been skinny before getting pregnant. i found it hard to gain weight by and was an xxs in everything. most adult clothes wouldn’t fit me. i wasn’t like underweight, i was just small and super short.

now that my body has changed and i am still 20 pounds away from my pre baby weight, i find myself having a hard time with food. and before you guys say anything, 20 pounds isn’t a lot but it looks like a lot on a small person. i am definitely bigger. none of my clothes fit. i feel so big now.

i’ve been struggling with restricting myself from foods, counting calories before eating everything, and then binge on foods when i restrict myself for a while. i also have the urge to make myself throw up after eating but having done it. it’s just the loudest voice in my head telling me i shouldn’t have eaten that and i feel so guilty.

i know bodies are supposed to change after giving birth. but i miss my old body. i miss not feeling insecure of my body and the way it carries this new weight. i’ve tried working out and just feel stuck. i will stick with going to the gym for a while and then just become so burnt out in motherhood that i don’t have the energy to do anything. so i just get stuck in this cycle of hating my body, working out, counting calories, restricting foods, binge out, and do it all over again.

Almost one year postpartum and sex still isn’t what it used to be. I’m not necessarily having trouble with arousal. Mentally, I want to have sex. I miss being easily aroused and sex feeling amazing. But it truly doesn’t feel like much of anything now. I have to work hard to be able to finish and even then, the orgasm is mid. I rarely get the “spontaneous desire” anymore. Lubrication is not an issue at all, so it’s not like I’m feeling any discomfort. It’s genuinely just that I can’t feel much of anything. I am already a SAHM so I don’t really have anything to look forward to like a job I can go to or an event I can attend and I want sex to be something I can look forward to, but it’s just not anymore.

Does anyone have any recommendations? Is there a way to bring back sensitivity?

My (31F) sons(23 month male) dad(36M) and I were never married. He’s on the birth certificate. He hurt my son when he was 7 months old. Since June of 2025 I’ve had an active cps case. I have full custody. Supervised visits are in place.he was charged and pled guilty to a misdemeanor. My son is name after his father even tho we(my mom and I) have always called him a shortened version of his name.

For context I wanted to name him different name at birth however, I was convinced by his dad and a friend of his to let my son‘s dad name him after him. now whenever I hear his legal name all I think about is that he is associated with his father and genuinely I don’t want that. his father and I do not coparent he contributes no money towards our son. His life is a mess and I just don’t want my son associated with that. since my son and I moved back into my mom‘s house, My mom and i have thought about changing his name. Sometimes I have a lot of guilt over this and I feel like what if my son doesn’t like me when he’s older because I changed his name. I just don’t know if I can hear him being called by his legal name for the rest of his life. I guess I’m just asking what everyone in here would think if I changed his name. he isn’t going to start preschool for two more years, and I have heard from other parents who have changed their children’s names that it is best to do so before he starts school.

I have a 2.5 year old toddler and a 7 week old baby. For example, my cat loves to sit on top of the pile of burping cloths that I keep next to my nursing chair. I use them to burp my baby, I use them on my breasts when they leak, I use them on my baby when a little milk dribbles out of their mouth, etc. So whenever my cat sits on top of the cloths, all I can think about is her litterbox butt getting on everything. There are other examples too, this is just one scenario.

Does anyone else feel this way? Not looking for fixes, I know I can simply move the cloths or store them a different way. But moreso wanted to know if this is a valid concern? Do I need to be more careful or is this just one of those things that doesn't really ever become a problem?

*If you had a baby shower or purchased yourself everything you need for your first baby.

Because really the only thing I can think of is a car seat? But maybe my brain is just missing some things.

If you could go back in time and watch yourself being a new first time parent, what would make you laugh?

He fell asleep, likes to roll into me like c curl into me. I wasn’t paying attention and figured he was comfy and realized he was in my arm pit crevice while I watching tv. I quickly moved him, wasn’t blue or not breathing. But he’s a deep sleeper once he’s goes to bed so he didn’t wake up when I tried to a little. He’s breathing fine and very relaxed but Jesus. He gasped when I moved him which freaked me out. I feel fucking terrible. I have an appointment tomorrow anyway but still. I can’t tell if he’s okay because he’s sound asleep. He likes to sleep on his side and I always move him when we go to bed and when I wake in the night but wtf. He’s done this a few times but every time I get super worried. Anyone else have a baby who likes to smoosh their face?

They are lovely, caring and kind people who are coming to visit for a few days. The plan is for them to stay with us (and stay alone with baby so me and husband can go do stuff) but this makes me nervous because their kindness is incredibly overwhelming. Me and MIL enter in the perpetual cycle of her trying to make me happy, and me getting overwhelmed and upset at all the attention. Im very direct and blunt, if I want something, I will ask for it. Her love language is acts of service and gifts, when I ask her for something she will do that and 50x more which I never know what to do with (eg gifting a giant 2m tall crochet project when we live in a tiny apartment or gifting baby swimsuits and summer clothes for his size in winter) I know what I sound like, incredibly ungrateful. But while I can learn how to navigate this with her, I’m not sure how to proceed with the baby.

I want to create a list of rules which make sense to me, but not to them. I want my husband to present said list, but he’s already upset that I hate them. I truly don’t hate them, they just make me nervous (always but now worse) and I suffer strongly from PPA and probably on the verge of PPD.

The list includes things like don’t let strangers into the babies face (they are so kind I can totally see them handing over the baby if someone asks so they don’t offend them). Or if the baby is acting weird I can see them not calling us because they don’t want to bother.

And then there are other things that they used to do back in the day that are no no today. Eg blankets or fluffies in the crib, or overdressing him, etc.

I know my husband is excited to see his parents. They live 4 hours away and last time they came to see the baby I insisted they stay at the hotel and they had very limited (and supervised) time with our back then 10day old baby. This time they will stay with us and hubby is thrilled we will be able to have a life and a clean home for a few days.

I’m spiraling with anxiety that I can’t share with him as it just goes into “you hate my parents”. He’s previously put up boundaries with them for me, and I know he will always do what’s best for the baby but I just don’t know how to talk to him about this. Maybe I’m overthinking this and it will all be ok but I genuinely don’t know how I will leave the house if the husband doesn’t read the list and prints it out and makes sure they understand it first.

I’m almost 7 months postpartum and still trying to make sense of my traumatic birth experience. I was up for hours last night reading my medical records.

I had a high-risk pregnancy due to type 2 diabetes and gestational hypertension (developed at 36 weeks), along with a baby whose head circumference measured above the 99th percentile. I had expressed concerns about attempting a vaginal delivery and discussed the possibility of an elective C-section, but ultimately proceeded with an induction at 37 weeks as per my Doctor’s advice.

After a prolonged induction, I developed chorioamnionitis and fetal tachycardia. I eventually reached full dilation and began pushing, but there was minimal fetal descent. My baby's heart rate then dropped into the 60s, resulting in an emergency C-section. During surgery, his head was found to be deeply engaged and asynclitic.

My son was born with Apgar scores of 1, 3, 3, and 3, required extensive resuscitation and intubation, and underwent therapeutic hypothermia in the NICU due to concerns about hypoxic injury.

Thankfully, he's doing well now, but after reviewing my medical records, I have lingering questions about the management of my labor, the timing of the C-section, and whether an earlier intervention might have changed the outcome.

I'm not looking for Reddit to determine whether anything was done wrong, nor am I currently pursuing legal action. I would simply like an independent medical review to better understand what happened and whether the decisions made were appropriate.

Has anyone successfully arranged a retrospective birth review with an OB or maternal-fetal medicine specialist outside their delivering hospital?

I'm in California but open to virtual consultations. I'd really appreciate any recommendations or experiences.

today was my last day at work. we tried to both work remotely while watching my LO but to no one’s surprise it was impossible lol. we thought we’d be the magic ones who could do it 😂

i feel so much relief but also slight anxiety and guilt. we used my health insurance so we need to go find our own (my husband is contract). my husband is fully supportive of me quitting and encouraged me to do so, but i can’t help but feel slightly guilty? did anyone else feel this way?

so thankful to my husband for allowing me to be a SAHM!! it’s been my dream. my baby will only be this age once and i’m grateful to spend it with them even if it means cutting back on fun spending a little.

I’ll start this by saying I am so incredibly happy that my daughter arrived safely 2 weeks ago. Last year I experienced two losses so just having her here feels like a miracle!

I laboured for 8 hours at home (no sleep) before we went to the hospital, to find out I was only 1cm dilated. Went back home for 6 more hours until it was unbearable (contractions were less than 5 minutes apart) and was 4cm. We had to wait an hour for a room, I just remember leaning on the wall and moaning the entire time.

Got to a room, forgot all of coping skills I had practiced, used laughing gas and moaning until I could get an epidural about 4 hours later. My contractions had no breaks in between - one would fade and immediately start back up again, and I was having back labour.

About 24 hours in, I was only 5cm dilated, and baby’s heart rate kept dipping after each contraction. My midwife said she wasn’t worried yet, but that baby seemed to be getting tired and stressed.

I told her that if an emergency c-section was a possibility, that I just wanted to opt for one before it became an emergency. 27 hours after labour started, our daughter was born via c-section!

I‘m so happy she’s here. I don’t know why I feel so disappointed in myself, like I was weak the entire time and tried to “get out“ of the hard parts. I had a very flexible birth plan, knowing that labour often doesn’t go the way people think it will.

Did anyone else deal with this feeling? 😅

I’m 12 weeks pp and got my first period back 8 weeks pp and it was AWFUL. My periods had always been painless and almost no PMS except some moodiness and only lasting 3 days. I can feel my second period coming soon, I’m feeling cramps that feel like early labour and I’m absolutely ravenous about food (specifically chocolate). I feel like I have the cliche period now, it lasts a week and it’s heavy and painful and the PMS is wicked.
Did anyone else have this happen? Any insight on if it ends?

I know. I am EXTREMELY lucky to be able to stay home everyday with my son. But, do any other SAHM miss working? I worked my entire adulthood up until I had my baby. I miss making my own money. It also sucks because my partner only really makes enough to scrap by with our bills and my only income is a single FAFSA disbursement every 6 months that isn’t much.

I also just miss social interaction. My baby is still small so he’s happy for like 3 hours than needs a 1.5h contact nap. Sometimes I feel like I still have way enough energy to do something like a workout or have a family or friend visit, but my son seriously won’t sleep longer than 5 or 10 mins if I leave his side during naps.

TLDR: trying to quit nicotine without causing marital dispute

Hi all, I am just over a year pp, and I got re-hooked on nicotine right after I finished nursing my baby around 4 months (wanted to go longer, but had my own health issues that took priority). Well, I’m ready to quit. It’s expensive, I’m terrified baby will get ahold of it, and I’ve started having chest pains from it.

The issue is, my husband is addicted too. From many years of trying to quit (and a few years of successful quitting), I know that I CANNOT quit if it’s in the house. I’ll ask for it, throw fits, and generally be insane if it’s still in the house. If it’s out of the house, u don’t care at all. My husband wants to quit too, but isn’t quite ready.

Last time we quit, I told him to pick a day to quit, but I wanted to be done by the new year. He agreed, and told me he’d let me know. Well, the new year came around and I told him I couldn’t quit without him, so please let’s quit now. He agreed, but I didn’t know he held resentment over it. So it became a massive fight over a year later.

I told him today that i don’t care when he quits for good, but i need to quit for my own sanity and health. I can’t have it in the house or I’ll never quit, but I told him that’s my only ask. I know from experience how it’s goes and I really am ready to be done. I told him I’m fine with him quitting on his own timeline, but I can’t wait forever when it’s making me feel physically worse.

He told me that saying keep it out of the house is essentially forcing him to quit, and was a little irritated at me. I apologized, asked for his ideas, and let him k ie again that it’s just what I know about myself that I won’t be able to and need to.

Any advice? Ideas? Ways to avoid the same thing happening as last time? I’m horribly addicted, but I need to be healthy and have a safe home for my baby.

(Adding we don’t do anything with smoke or vape, only the pouches. So thankfully no second hand smoke for baby, but fear him getting a pouch someday and am always on high alert)

I feel like I’m failing my 11 month old, I’m currently 8 months pregnant and usually very attentive but all day today I’ve set my 11 month old on the floor with some toys, her favorite show on, and i’ve sat on the couch watching my phone. I feed her, change her, and bathe her of course but other than that? She’s watching tv playing alone. I’m just so tired and want to do nothing. On top of that my house is just such a mess and our pets are on my last nerve. My husband is a cop (obviously making me the default parent) so he works crazy hours and days and I just don’t know what to do. I try to talk to him about this and he just says that’s what being a parent is and I still need to be active and not just sit on my phone and reminds me how much harder it’s about to be with another baby. He also hates when I drop everything on him when he gets home because he needs time to decompress. I just am so tired and can’t stop thinking about how i’m harming development or a connection with my daughter. I already feel horrible for making her a big sibling so fast and so it’s just been so hard recently. I just don’t know how to keep giving everything when I have nothing.

My son will be 1 in a couple of weeks and while I’m starting to feel more myself (especially after I stopped breastfeeding at 8 months) the mere thought of sex makes sick.

My sweet husband is an amazing father and partner. He absolutely carried me through postpartum anxiety, a very colicky baby, woke with me every time our baby did for 7 months and all while working full time. When he comes home he assumes the role of primary parent (I’m a SAHM). He spends every moment with us and makes sure we know there’s nowhere else he’d rather be. I know for sure that he is not the problem and there’s no resentment.

We’ve had sex a handful of times over the last year. He would never, ever try to make me feel bad about it, but I know this bothers him. My feelings around it range from ugh to sheer disgust to the point of tears at the thought of it. The first 6 months it was actually painful so we didn’t do it, but that’s not the case anymore. It feels fine now, it’s just that I am so grossed out by it. It feels wrong and I don’t know why. I suspect it’s hormonal in some way, but I don’t know. I was never sex obsessed before having a baby, but I also never felt so averse to it.

Has anyone ever felt this way, and if so, did it get better? I desperately want to feel differently and I don’t know how to get there.

Hi everyone,

I have a beautiful, healthy, and hilarious 10.5 month old. He’s doing well on solids and loves to eat - chicken, eggs, yogurt, peanut butter, all fruit, veggies, fish - you name it. We introduced all of the high allergen foods around 6 months and he had no issues - with the exception of eggs, which caused him to break out around his mouth - red rashy skin with some red dots. The pediatrician told us that this was likely contact dermatitis and he just has very sensitive skin (he did not have any other kind of allergic reaction besides the skin issue around his mouth). She prescribed an antibiotic ointment to use as needed, which helped a bit. We tried to be mindful when he was eating eggs and added a barrier cream around his mouth prior to meals.

Fast forward to now, it seems like after every meal - despite what food it is, any food that touches his mouth causes him to break out. We still use barrier cream (vaseline) and simple Aveeno lotion with the prescription ointment intermittently. There’s been no other changes to his linens, bedsheets, etc. or anything we use in the bath (Cerave baby wash and that’s it).

Again, our pediatrician has advised that he just has super sensitive skin and there’s not much we can do but let him grow out of it. I feel awful looking at his red irritated skin. It doesn’t seem to bother him at all and he loves to eat, but I know after every meal the rash will flare back up.

Has anyone experienced anything like this and if so, did you come up with any solutions on how to mitigate? Topicals, changes in diet, etc.? He is still taking formula which has never seemed to bother his skin. Other than that he just has water with his meals.

Thank you for any insight!!

My husband and I are planning a little weekend getaway next fall, about three months after our son turns 2. I’m so excited about it, but at the same time, I feel incredibly guilty and nervous about leaving him behind.

We’d be leaving Friday afternoon and coming back Monday morning, and the place we’re staying is only about a 2–3 hour drive from home. Our son would be staying with his grandma, who he’s seen pretty much every day since he was born. His grandparents are amazing with him, and he absolutely adores them. Honestly, it would probably feel like a little vacation for him too. 😂

My husband and I have been in survival mode for so long. We repeat the same routine every single day, and by the time we finally get an hour to ourselves before bed, one of us usually ends up falling asleep halfway through it.
I really miss having uninterrupted time with my husband, just being a couple and enjoying each other’s company without constantly being in parent mode. I know we need this, and I know our son would be in loving, capable hands, but the thought of being away from him for three nights makes my heart hurt a little.

I’m really trying to learn how to loosen my grip a little and remind myself that it’s okay to do something fun for ourselves without feeling guilty about it. Have any of you gone on a trip without your kids? How old were they when you first went, and how did you feel about it? Did you end up enjoying yourselves, or were you missing your little ones the entire time?

Note: I’m going to see my OB on Friday and will talk to him.

I’m two weeks post partum. I knew and sort of expected I might be one of those who will be hit hard by Baby Blues. But this is not a hit. This thing is eating me and leaving nothing.
I can’t even explain the feeling. It’s like I’m under water. I don’t have regret of having my son. But I wish I’d return to my normal self.
I was looking forward to spending time with my husband and our new baby and binge watching shows and taking care of our new kid.
Now I have this opportunity and I’m not enjoying it.

Instead anything that reminds me of my previous life sends me spiralling. Like even food in the fridge. I’ll look at it and think “oh here are the eggs we bought before we had a kid when life felt normal”. “Here is my sweater I hanged and the next day I had a baby”.
I feel sick. Constant sadness that overshadows any joy. And our boy is sssoooo cute yet I can’t fully enjoy having him.
I miss my work, people around me.
My husband is doing anything he can to support me. I even already went for dinner once with fiends. But there’s still dread inside me.

I hate sunsets. The days are getting shorter and I’m trying desperately to spend them outside but the schedule has waking up at 10-11 am due to wakes at night.
Evenings makes my guts sink. Even what used to be a cozy quiet one.

Will it get better? Is it PPD?

I’ve searched everything I can, I’ve seen all the replies that it’s normal for baby to want closeness right now (5 weeks), but he starts daycare at 12 weeks and I’m nervous. At most he’s ever let me put him down is 20 minutes to an hour and that’s only when he’s wide awake looking at something. I’ve tried all the tricks - heating pad before he’s in the crib, slowly transferring him, making sure arm is limp. With and without swaddle. It doesn’t work. He immediately knows he’s not being held, so he’s been held by someone 24/7.

So.. what happens when he goes to daycare? Is this going traumatize him or has anyone found their LO adjusted pretty quickly? I have to go back to work so there is no other option, but what can I do to help him in the meantime?

I keep trying to put him down, but I know cry it out is bad at this age so I pretty quickly have to pick him back up. I’ve tried every type of swaddle on the market.

Is there something I’m missing???

Our nanny has been with us for couple months now and overall she's great with my daughter. She's caring and my daughter seems happy with her. But lately a couple of things have been starting making me a little uncomfortable.

First, she's always wanting to buy my daughter gifts. When she first started, she bought us baby clothes.Today she texted me a picture of a baby bouncer and asked if she could bring it for her. She does ask first, which I appreciate, but it happens a a few times now and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Second, last week she put baby cologne on my daughter without asking me. It's not a huge deal on its own, but I feel like she should ask me and also it’s way too early to put cologne on a 7 week old.

I don't think she has bad intentions. I think she's just really attached. But together these things feel like the boundaries are getting a little blurry, and I'm starting to feel uneasy.

Is this normal nanny behavior? Am I overreacting? She’s an older lady and had 3 kids all over 18. And if you've been in a similar spot, how did you bring it up without making things awkward?

Thanks!

Not sure where else to post about this but — as my baby has gotten older, I think I’ve just really had to let go of how i thought this season would look, even how i thought she would be as a baby. She is absolutely feral, high energy, cannot sit still and literally NEVER chills out. If babies can have adhd, she has it.

She recently started sticking her fingers in her mouth and causes herself to full on vomit, now several times a day. It’s maddening. She seems otherwise fine when she does it other than the fact that she’s bored and protesting the current activity.

Solids are seriously not going great. She has been trying out the food in the past but recently just is not interested at all and it almost makes her mad when I offer. Of course this is stressing me out cause she’s gotta eat? She also has always been on the lower end of milk/formula so im trying not to stress that she’s not getting enough daily calories.

She also is just so fussy and seems unhappy all day long as long as she’s awake. It’s like a never ending cycle all day long of entertaining her, changing environments to avoid meltdowns and keep the stimulation going. It’s like she’s just unhappy no matter what I do. I feel like I literally never stop!

And I know what you’re thinking, stop entertaining her, she needs to get used to boredom. Well, her sleep at night is SO bad and all the advice for building proper sleep pressure includes lots of activity and stimulation during the day. She sleeps so horribly that I’m exhausted during the day and truly feel like I do bore her so I really try to make the days full enough to sleep better, and I do notice it helps the nights. I just never get a break where it stops, how do people do this?? I’m going insane.

On top of all of this, she’s in the clingy phase where i genuinely can not set her down to use the restroom so i am walking around holding her allllll day my back is killing me.

I think I’m just a little taken aback at how her personality/temperament is turning out to be and I can barely keep up. No family to support around so I do everything myself on no sleep all day and I’m drowning. Everyone else makes this look so easy. Am I just not cut out for motherhood?

Anyones 6 month sleep regression worse than the 4 month one. My baby and 4 months went from waking up once a night to 2 no big deal. Baby at 6 months is waking up every 2-3 hours 😅literally don't even remember how I used to function when he was a newborn born doing that and I actually have to feed him and change him each wake 😂