Ok hair me out on this one. Obviously i already know the overwhelming response on this sub will be yes do it! No one is going to say, No dude, keep holding onto your hair and embrace it lmao 😆
So i love having long hair, running my hands through it. I'm not attractive, never had a girlfriend am short,(which let's be honest guys is a turn off/ deal breaker a lot of women)
Am in my 40s and I'm no Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Bruce Willis or Vin Diesel 😭🧑🦲
And i really don't want to do this alone with no support. I have a lack of friends and family.
I would consider shaving in certain circumstances. I know it's unlikely to find a woman who would join in this with me and that's not a deal breaker. I just am more or a feminine man and am ok with admitting that.
I don't want to go to the barber and be all over in 5 minutes with my hair on the floor and swept in the rubbish.
I've grown my hair long for 15 years. So there's an attachment to it that women can relate to. It's become like a limb. I have had a buzzcut when i was young and was in the army for serval years. Those days are long gone like my hairline 😭
I would like to make this occasion memorable and love the idea of a fun roleplay like Samson and Delilah where i "fall asleeep" in a women's lap where she brushes and braids my hair and cuts ✂️ off the braid and then shaves the remaining hair to baldify me 🧑🦲😭
I understand that it's a long shot due to location (New Zealand) and having someone trusting enough to have this done with. Ultimately a platonic friendship where trust is built up first would be a must. (Don't think anyone would be trusting enough to see this like an acting role with a ramdom stranger)
I'm not manifesting this and in the end, this sub just wants to see before and after images and not long boring stories like this one lol 😆
Not to get all technical but you’re far more attractive than you think. You have like perfect facial symmetry, good eyebrows, a great head shape, a strong nose, and a killer beard. Best of luck to you mate
Wow, brother. That’s a lot to unpack. This will be my first response without spaces.
I’m going to say this with genuine kindness because I think you need to hear it.
You’re attaching far too much of your self-worth to your hair. Somewhere along the way, you’ve allowed it to define how attractive you feel and, more importantly, how confident you are.
Women are attracted to confident men. And believe me, there are plenty of confident, attractive bald men out there.
I think you’ve become so invested in holding on to your hair that you may not realize how much this struggle is affecting your confidence.
And for the record, I completely disagree with you when you say you’re not an attractive guy.
What concerns me is that it almost seems like you’re hiding behind your appearance. As though making yourself less approachable feels safer than putting yourself out there and risking rejection.
I could be wrong, but that’s the impression I’m getting.
Listen, brother, every single one of us has had to learn to work with what we’ve got. None of us gets to choose every card we’re dealt.
The hair loss isn’t what makes you unattractive. It’s the way you’re allowing it to make you feel about yourself.
And here’s something worth considering. Women may not even care that you’re bald, but they absolutely can pick up on how uncomfortable you are with yourself.
You don’t need a full head of hair to be attractive. You need to stop treating yourself like you’re somehow less of a man without it.
Give yourself a little grace, brother. You’re being far harder on yourself than you deserve.
And maybe, just maybe, letting go of the hair will be the first step toward getting some of that confidence back.
Appreciate the thoughtful response 👌 🙏
I think that i dint look look attractive with the hairstyle, even before it was thinning 😭 But i don't care what others think, women in particular 😉
If a woman oust attracted to my outer appearance, then that's on them and obviously if looks are that important, then they aren't for me. Much in the same way where a woman chooses short hair, going against three western culture of mens like long long hair narrative. And kudos to those endearing enough to buzz their hair! Even if they chose to grow it back long straight away lol. I'm also endeared with women who grow their armpit and leg hair! And no it's not a turn on either lol 😆
Appreciate you brother and this story hopefully one way or another will have a positive ending. I know that i will ultimately shave my head.
I may decide to grow it back out again lol. We'll see. Watch this space i guess🤷♂️🫡
Dude, I can say for sure that once you shave it down to the skin, you're going to look like a million bucks. If you miss the hair that much, I say buy a wig and run your fingers through that. You shouldn't cling to the past in anything. Value who you can be tomorrow, not what you see from the past.
I just want to say, I'm a poor, short, balding 32 year old social freak who is in general not very attractive and I literally got a date 3 days after I shaved my head -and- during that 6 hour date, we'd already planned our next couple of dates together. Own it, dude. It's peak "fuck it, we bald*" energy.
Just so you know, Dwayne the rock Johnson and vin diesel and whatever aren't that attractive.
The majority of women just wants someone who treats them with respect and believes in themselves. Besides, according to studies, and my own experience, the whole muscled tough guy thing isn't that attractive to most women. The majority likes guys with a dad bod, and many like bald guys. Even the tall thing is iffy, though a lot of women do like a guy who is taller than them.
Dear OP:
If what that commentator wrote resonates with you, I suggest if you have the means/resources you consider therapy to work on your confidence and self love. Personality and confidence is what matters in relationships, hair is just hair. Looks are important, and many people have told you in this thread that you're handsome and will look great shaved, but looks are also extremely subjective and for many people they are secondary and often biased by how they perceive a person based on the way they act and communicate.
You mention wanting to have a relationship with a woman, and not having friends to give you support. You deserve both of those things and they have absolutely nothing to do with your hair.
Honestly, I think therapy could really help improve the way you feel and likely help you expand your horizons and meet great people with who you can form meaningful relationships.
I'm concerned that in your post you mention your looks as being deal breakers to women but then say that you don't care what women think in another comment. I think it's beyond your hair at this point, and you need to maybe seek some counseling. I'm married to a short bald king and he is the absolute BEST of men. His height and hair have nothing to do with who he is inside. And I also think he's hot af.
Somebody also mentioned his teeth, and he claimed that he doesn't have the money to get his teeth fixed, then gave an excuse that even if he did...perfect teeth look "fake" and it would not match his "rugged and rough" personality anyway. Nice teeth would make him look too "corporate".
Dude complains about not being attractive, but then flat-out refuses to take any steps to potentially make himself more physically appealing. And yeah, says that he also doesn't care what women think. It comes off as bitter and resentful...like he thinks women should accept him exactly how he is but believes they don't or won't.
He's got some pretty deep psychological issues. Extremely insecure (possibly narcissistic) with a strange fetish and an unhealthy attachment to his hair. It's not hard to see why he's never had a girlfriend.
Hey bud, you could have the best of both worlds. Being bald I would love to try this style but the process of growing it out from zero to this would not be fun lol. From my reading you a severely lacking in confidence. That is a big turn off for girls. The amazing thing about confidence is you can fake it til you make it. Hang in there brother, you’re a nice looking man and one day you’ll meet the girl that completes you. Nothing worth having is gonna fall on your lap so you gotta make sure to put yourself out there. You got this brother.
I completely understand that from a single post of a random stranger, that you can't judge someone just off that. I know and accept who I am and am unashamed of who I am regardless of whether or not others accept me! I've had a hard often lonely life, but I embrace it all and remain both positive and upbeat for the future!
In the words of Chumbawumba!
As a 42 year old woman who has been with her husband for 16 years (he was 27 when we met and had been bald for 7 years at that point so I have never seen him with hair, ever) I must politely disagree with you on multiple points. You have a lovely smile and kind eyes and a fantastic beard. That being said, the hairstyle you have right now is literally my hair. One side shaved, one side long but you are completely missing any kind of density on top. Right now, the hair is doing you no favors. You are going to look like a badass Scottish Highlander when you shave it all off.
Dude you’re genuinely a good looking guy, your HAIR is literally the ONLY thing stopping you unlocking your potential
You live in NZ, I think a braided Viking pony tail like in the top comment would definitely fly really well there. But it needs to be cleanly done. You currently have a scary, methy, Trevor from GTA V thing going on
Honestly you look 1000% hotter in that rendering. Keep the beard, trim/clean it up, use good oils and make it the new thing you run your fingers through. You have such good facial hair I’d say you should absolutely keep it relatively long
Edit: just to say sacrifice the hair and make the beard your new obsession. Lots of girls love short kings, but obviously the first thing anyone taller than you is going to see is the bald spot. Turn it into an asset, not a source of insecurity. You have lots of good features and right now you’re highlighting the one not so good feature. Cause dude, you’re handsome.
For the good of this subreddit, I beg of you, shave your head immediately, post it, and continue the long lineage inspirational posting that will benefit the next guy who is on the fence. For posterity 🙏🏽 and the befit of our personal intrigue haha
You should shave it, but also, as a woman reading all that gave me the ick.
If you have a partner and you want to role play, that's perfect. If you don't, I feel like this post belongs in a fetish sub more than here.
You aren't really looking for advice on your hair, you are using your hair to try to find a woman to role play with - on r/bald. You have some fantasies you're trying to fulfill that incorporate your hair. Fine, but not here.
Yep. I’m surprised I had to scroll this far.
Also, OP, no one minds you flying your freak flag but find the places where that’s the main purpose. This feels manipulative and your nonstop vacillating between confidence about who you are or hinting about suicide makes it much worse.
Care for yourself enough to get help. Be forthright about the fetishistic fantasy in kink spaces and you might find someone willing to make it to NZ for you.
I'm a woman and for what it's worth I think you're very attractive. You need to not care about girls who care about height. They just aren't your type. But also, the Samson and Delilah thing you wrote is giving me massive ick, brother. I think you may be making a lot of unhealthy assumptions about women because you don't like yourself.
You have an incredible profile, a really luscious beard, and dark eyes that are all quite attractive. Lose the hair, get some therapy and friends, fall in love with yourself.
I think being bald would suit you a lot better than you think, you have the head shape for it. The waves of your hair and the colour are very pretty, but the top works against it. I get that you want to stick with what you’re comfortable with, but sometimes letting go and embracing change is the way forward. I mean this both for your hair and mentality.
Go to a barber, talk to a therapist, befriend (casual friends not romantic interests) more women. Heavy on the last one, because the more women you know, the more you realise that media you’re seeing doesn’t know jackshit about women and what they want.
I read every word. And I totally understand this will be a big step but I know you will look great. I’m sure everybody in this sub will be the support you need. https://giphy.com/gifs/hrFND5UstSHsO8ck51
It's rare I see when shortly after it's posted. I say this with peace and love, the current hairstyle you have is not doing you any favors. It's ok to be sad about losing your hair but the longer you hold on to it, the more it just hurts you and holds you back.
If you want a comparison, because I know what its like to have long hair and the painful torture of losing it, this is my before and after. I think I made the correct choice, as did thousands of people when I posted. It would be the correct choice for you as well
This photo is the before, I will put the after in the reply
The skullet is bold choice! I think ultimately it would be all going if I did try to rock the skullet for some time lol. I don't think I have the personality for the skullet though?
If you’re worried about just being swept away, consider donating it! I donate my hair every few years to Wigs for Kids — makes free wigs for kids who need them for various reasons (and it’s difficult to find in their size!)
My friend is 53, never really had a girlfriend, basically gave up about 7 years ago got himself a dog became man and dog. He started reading books about man and dog. And then one of our idiot friends in common introduced him to a woman he was dating. She's a hospital CEO and he's the equivalent of a stock boy with a sense of humor so my friend initially just made contact with her for networking, and they started chatting and long story short they are galavanting the world like teenagers now. The difference? He's rocking a SHAVED HEAD NOW. I know you are attached to your long hair, but it's time to be like Elsa! Freeeeeeedommm good luck guy I'm looking forward to seeing that dome!
I understand the trepidation brotha. The hair is sweet! If you do decide to take the plunge I promise with a face like that and such a strong beard you can’t lose.
My advice: Before you shave it all off, get it cut into a skullet. At least you'll maintain the length and the alternative look you got going on. You don't have to go straight to the boring bald look that most of us got going on. Why not play with the look before saying goodbye permanently?
I am sorry but I am baffled with what you’re asking for in the post. I think you have a lot going on and it’s not your hair. You’re an attractive guy and I think you would be even more attractive without the hair.
It’s the mixed messages that are getting to me. You said in a comment you don’t care about what women say but then in the post you are complaining about not having a girlfriend, and also the roleplay, I know you have said platonic friendship but it feels like you’re hoping for a woman to be your friend and then having a chance to fall in love with her. Nothing wrong with shooting your shots here, but I think it’s something you should deal on your own, not only the hair but the mixed signals and the subtle blaming women for not having a girlfriend. That’s a lot to unpack.
My fiancé is a short bald king and I never once thought hair would make him more attractive, it’s his personality and his confidence that made me fall in love with him.
I feel you. I’ve never had hair quite that long but letting go is hard. Although you (and the opposite sex) might find rubbing a bald head just as satisfying. Speaking of which, I’m bald. I’m not 6ft. Women really don’t care if you don’t. I promise there’s plenty out there who like bald guys.
I should add that the beard and piercings will look great if you decide to embrace the bald. You’re not unattractive at all my man. fAkE iT TiLl yOu mAkE iT. You’re no Dwayne Johnson? Pretend you are. Literally. It may sound stupid but hey, it’s only stupid if it doesn’t work.
If you love the long hair on the back and sides look up styles for it but the top should go. There has to be like a viking or tribal way to make what you have punk as fuck.
The lack of confidence is more likely to contribute to the lack of girlfriends than your general appearance, which isn’t even bad. But lack of confidence blocks all opportunities. Women date “unattractive “ men literally all the time. Also, you’ll look great if you own the baldness.
I have never seen someone who is both bald and has lucious locks of hair... it is a shame that the top gave up. I am going to have to recommend committing to the bald man road.
You seem like a really sweet guy. And I am sorry that you are dealing with hair loss when you are clearly very attatched to it. I think you look fine, and will look fine without hair, but that doesn't take away that the long hair is important to you.
This may be a bit out of left field, but what you are describing as your ideal way of shaving your hair sounds kind of like a kink scene. If you get on something like Feeld or FetLife and describe exactly what you are looking for there may be a woman who would want to roleplay Delilah with you.
Separately from that: there is no shame in wigs if you really want the feeling of having long hair. Alternatively you can find and expression of your femininity in something else, it's not stored in the hair!
I went to the dentist this year. $1500 of work and that was a couple filling and one rotten tooth removed lol. I don't have the money to get my teeth looking like that. Plus it looks fake. I am a bit rugged and rough, personality wise. Love the outdoors, camping etc. This is a very much corporate look lmao. appreciate the 5 minutes it probably took to generate this though. MAde me laugh lmao
Alright, my friend, you seem happy with your look, so I can only wish you the best.
What I tried to do was show you a look that would let you interact with people in a healthier way, and maybe even attract a woman's attention, but as I said, if you're happy this way, that's what matters.
Dude that hair is gorgeous I get why it is hard to let it go. You know each person has their own thing going on. I have seen this style where elsewhere is shaved and back of yhe head has like circle or square shape of hair left that is on ponytail. I think you could rock that.
my friend , you are bald. you have a very friendly and kind face and you will look good with your head shaved. as of now, the combover look isn’t doing you any favors. Just think, you posted on a sub called “bald” .. you know what to do! you will be very handsome and sharp
Shave the head and cut the beard shorter. It would be an Instant glow up. But ultimately you have to like the way you look. If you love your long hair keep it.
But from a woman’s perspective you would look sooo much better if you could let it go. I would consider dating a bald man. But a balding man with long hair. No thank you. I’d not be interested
You are going to look a lot better once you shave. Plenty of short men have girlfriends. I think you need to try to build up your confidence. Shaving will look better and may help.
Maybe put your hair in a pony tail and cut it off. You can donate the hair if you want. This might make the process more memorable and meaningful.
I’m almost certain you look like someone from a rock or metal band but I can’t think of who. It might be Ginger Baker but I can’t say for sure. I hear the sound of buzzing in your future.
There's a lot I'm not addressing in your overall post, but from one kiwi to another, it's time brother.
You did say how important your hair is to you, and you don't want it to end up on the barbershop floor. It's long enough that potentially a wig store may take it as a donation and be able to do something useful with it? Maybe worth a question if you want your hair to have something slightly more ceremonious than just a shave and get swept away
Please just have a skullet and rock a weird hairdo where it looks like you have thick hair because you clean up the thinned area by making a mockery of it with the very classy skullet style cut. Your hair is rad where it is. Where it is not should be bald
I just asked a llm how you would look bald. I think this looks perfect man! Your beard is great! Hope u can see with this picture how you would look when u go bald.
As the owner of a mullet with the clock ticking on how long the front will hold up, picture 3 is beautiful and I feel for you deep in my soul u/Ready_Mission_1838
You'll look great! My late Hubby was only 5'5", and that didn't matter to me in the slightest! I'm 5'7", and he absolutely loved being the little spoon from time to time. ❤️
For what it's worth, I'm a woman who is only attracted to short, bald kings, and if I lived near you I would be happy to treat you like the king you are. It's tough to learn to be responsible for your beauty, but you are beautiful, and I'm happy to read your post. Much love from Canada 😘
If you dont want so shave it then dont. Maybe go for a Wig. I think it would look better on you to go bald but you have to be happy.
Im bald and I wouldn't say that's a breaking point for women if that's something you scared of. I think attractivenes for all genders comes with beeing comfortable with your self.
Lots of great answers and support here. If you decide to shave it off, please look into organizations that accept hair donations to make wigs for people losing hair to chemotherapy. They are great organizations and may help you find an uplifting reason to take that step.
Brush and braid your own hair and then sweetly snip it off and bald yourself on your own hahaha you don’t have to wait for a woman to treat you the way you want to be treated! Just do the thing you want done for yourself 🤝 you’ll look cute and like the time spent pampering yourself. Do a face mask and get a nice balm for your head after ♥️ you got it
https://giphy.com/gifs/TDhng6Zc0Y2axe8rK3
When you’re ready, just imagine the possibilities. I fully understand the attachment (some pun intended), but you may find more relief on the other side.
As for your fantasy, you can still have that! Find someone willing, grab a wig, glue that puppy on, and it’s hey there, Delilah!
I'm a woman and shaved my head in my bathroom on my own and it was a wonderful, cathartic experience. I was scared at first too and very attached to my image and idea of having long lustrous hair, but it just wasn't reality for me and I came to accept that. I also felt like I had to have hair to be myself and be beautiful, and shaving my head completely disproved that for me. I made it like a spiritual ritual where I was shedding my old self and everything making me feel insecure and holding me back from having the life I wanted and emerging a new me. I've never felt hotter or more confident than I do now. And trust me dude, you ARE attractive. You just need to shave it and trim the beard a bit to see yourself really shine.
Woman here. Have you tried searching for a female barber? They can take their time with you and can show caring compassion. Search for a good one who understands your situation. Also can you promise to leave a single long braid if you do get it all shaved? I think that would look so cool for you.
Apart from on top your hair looks super thick. If you love your long hair - think about rocking the braid and shaving the rest. Also, you're a kiwi - take that mullet to the next level
Your hair is holding you back from your portential. You have no idea how much it is aging you and repelling people.
This is mean and I’m so sorry but at a certain point, holding onto hair when your are obviously past the point where you should have it comes across as unstable.
You are gonna look so frickin good, I can literally already see it
I mean this in a good way, your hairstyle makes gou look dirtier than you probably are. A bald head will drastically improve that look. And feel good as well
First, hair me out had me laughing for a couple of minutes.
Second, Imma post a comment even though I'm not sure you care and suspect a lot of this is just a fetish post.
Third, here's my storytime on something that happened recently and very much relates to your behavior in your post and comments:
My best friend happens to be my neighbor. Friends for 33 years, literally since we were two, only became neighbors after my 96 year old neighbor passed away in 2017. Because he's now my neighbor, I always know what he's up to. He had some friends over a few weeks ago to play Magic. I knew the one guy, but not the other and texted him after seeing them outside and said "who's the cutie pie?" Now, yes, I thought he was cute, but I'm very much not single and didn't mean it in a dating way. Just that the guy was pretty cute. He's short; so much so that he only comes up to my chest, has long hair like yours, only blond, and even less on top than y'all (and does not have your facial hair, smile, it eyes). A few nights later my friend asked me to come over to play Magic with him and the cutie. By the end of the night, I found him wildly unattractive and after this weekend, I want nothing to do with him.
And I can tell y'all, it had nothing to do with his looks. It was all his behavior. To start, he's almost 40 and refuses to work. Like, flat out will not work. He will not drive, which is sadly important in the States, especially farm country. He will not pay for anything. He does not clean. He clearly wants a mommy, not a girlfriend. He's insecure, which isn't a deal breaker, but he puts it on other people and that is. The worst part was him not respecting my boundaries (I later asked my friend about it and found out he's like that with everyone).
Throughout that night he made it clear he expected me to have sex with him, even after finding out I'm in a relationship. He even played at trying to touch me any way he wanted (not a full on assault, but enough for me to need to get mean about him coming near me at all). As vile as that is, over the weekend he texted me and said he was next door and I should come hang. I told him that I'd already told my neighbor I wasn't coming over because he's sick and I cannot get sick. He not only refused to listen to that, but he kept texting me about it until I blocked him. I found out the next day that my neighbor had already told him I wouldn't be coming over and why before this guy texted me. According to my friend, he was so pissed at me for not coming to see him that he took it out on them.
I had zero issues with his looks. All my issues with him came from how he treated me and those around him. Now, I'm in no way saying you'd behave exactly like this. But I do get a read that you put your insecurities on other people (like this guy does) and then when they don't like that, you try to act like you're too cool for school and you don't care, which just puts more of your insecurities on those around y'all. It really sounds like you're stuck in a cycle and cannot see a way out.
A new hairstyle could be that way out. Hell, if you're not at a point of feeling comfortable going bald or trying a skullet or top braid, try a new color you've been curious about. Saying you're unattractive and that no one wants you, then jumping to claiming you don't actually care what anyone thinks and you don't want to date just breaks my heart. You are actually very attractive as is. And I know how much it can hurt to try to open yourself up and get hurt as a result. But the things you say, the way you're trying to put others down to make it sound like y'all don't care? That's not a good place to be. I have an alphabet of mental health issues that put me in cycles like this, so I get how difficult it can be to flip it around. It's work. And it can really suck at times. Okay, a lot of the time. But you're not doing yourself any favors by forcing isolation. You're probably actually a pretty chill person to hang with and people deserve to experience good times with y'all.
You don't need to search for a romantic relationship. In fact, I wouldn't recommend it. But platonic friendships are so wonderful. I live for cuddling in bed with my bestie and watching a movie or building Legos with his youngest. I enjoy it as much as I do doing the same things with my partner. And my partner and I were friends for 15 years before we started dating (and will celebrate 16 years together in February). Who knows. That friend you find tomorrow could eventually lead y'all to a romantic relationship. But you won't know until y'all try. Switching it up could be the start to that!
You could also try wigs if y'all want to go bald but still have hair to play with. You can get that stuff glued. I don't know the ins and outs, but I know it exists. And if y'all want to play out your fantasy head shave, hire a sex worker that specializes in hair fetishes. Yeah, you're paying them, but, and I'm saying this as a professional, they'll have fun as long as you respect them and their boundaries.
Good luck to y'all, sweetie. I really do hope to come across some happy post from y'all in the future.
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u/gobblewonkergrump 10h ago edited 5h ago
It’s time to shave 🪒 your head. you’re handsome and you have a great beard, you will look amazing!