Why does no one ask me?

[u/Critical_Orange_3504]

TW: mentions of m*l3station, i>c3st, vi0l3nce towards a minor

I (f19) have multiple older brothers. The ones relevant to this story are T (29), F (24?) And G (23).

F molested me from me being 6 to me being around 10 or 11. I only told my mum and dad (he and I share a dad, but have different mums) when I was older because I didn't know how to explain it and I was a scared kid. Something in the news came up that my mum told me about and I said 'oh F did that to me'. She still doesn't know everything because she's always said 'if you want to tell me everything, I will listen, but I will then go and murder him.' So I don't really think telling her the details (she does know how far it went, but not specific instances where it happened in front of people, etc) is a good idea.

I had my mum tell my dad (they've been divorced since I was 8) because I was scared to tell him what his son had done to me. He has never once said anything to me. He rarely speaks to F but hasn't ever brought it up to him either.

G found out through my mum too because we are full siblings and I wanted her to tell him. He is the only person to ask me anything. He hasn't asked full questions, just the ages and how far it went. His girlfriend has talked to me more about it because she has a similar trauma, but even then she hasn't actually said much besides 'if you need to talk, you can come to me" which is sweet but we rarely see each other anyway and she tells everything to my brother.

T only found out a few months ago because he had a massive fall out with our dad (again, share a dad but he has a different mum to both G and I, and F) and F because F had accused him of stealing. My mum told T without my knowledge but I was honestly okay with it because i wanted him to know, and he needed to know because he has a son who has been babysat by F multiple times because my dad has said he's trustworthy (i don't agree with my dad allowing this but I don't live at their house so I didn't get a say). T is FURIOUS at my dad for letting F around his kid without any warning, he is not mad at me because he understands that I'm young and was scared to break the family up more than it already is. But T has only ever asked my mum questions about it, even though I've told him he can talk to me about it if he wants to.

My mum dropped T off at his job today as he will be working away from a few months. On the 3-4 hours drive, T asked my mum multiple questions about what happened, when, how i got through it, if it is linked to the university course I do (i do criminology, and i focus on sex crimes), etc.

I'm angry because no one ever asks me. I'm okay with questions when it's appropriate. I get i asked mum to tell people for me, but its MY trauma. They ask questions my mum doesn't know the answer to, and yet they don't ask me when she tells them 'i don't know you will have to ask her yourself'.

I'm so angry. It's as if my dad doesn't care about me more than F, and my other brothers are probably scared to say it to me because I might get emotional but I NEED to talk about it. I'm so sick of having visions and flashbacks and not being able to talk to someone about them because it's the parts they don't know about. BUT THEY DONT ASK. WHY DO THEY NOT ASK? I'm so tired of carrying the weight of this. He gets off scott-free and I'm stuck with the trauma that my brother did all these things for me.

Also I did go to therapy for this but they stopped it after 6 weeks, saying I wasn't traumatised enough and that 'it wasn't r@p3 so it isn't a big trauma anyway'

Sorry for any grammar issues, or if it doesn't make sense. I haven't exactly had practice saying any of this. Hence the anger.